Dumbest Thing Ever - Gig/Music Related

[CowboyNQ]

On 4/12/2023 at 3:15 AM, EscapeRocks said:

One thing I've learned over the 30 or so years I've performed on stages very small to very large:  If you/your band don't have a Spinal Tap moment now and the, you're doing it wrong. 

 

We played a very fun downtown show a month ago. We were given access to this very nice and secured parking garage for our vehicles.

They escorted us there so they could use their badge to get us in, then told us just to take the elevator up to the street level exit door.

 

We find the elevator....oh wait, it needs a key card to operate.  Okay, we find some stairs, walk up a couple flights.   Yep, doors require access cards.   The one door we found that went outside was an alarmed door.

We didn't feel like setting it off.

 

So there we were, just like in Spinal Tap, running all over passageways trying to get out.

I finally called the very nice woman in charge and explained the situation.   We had a good laugh about it when she came to let us out.

She apologized profusely that the new guy she sent to let us in had forgotten that no key card, no elevator

 

It really was funny, and no one was upset.

I can definitely relate!  Some places we play are dead set rabbit warrens.

 

In addition, if time allows, part of my pre-show routine is to wander off from the herd and find a local pub.  There I’ll get myself a beer and a steak before downbeat while the rest of my mates eat salads in the green room.

 

This has caused me to accidentally lock myself out of venues countless times. I’m getting very good at apologetically talking my way back into auditoriums past the security guards at the front door!

[Al Quinn]

I forgot to mention the time I played on a beach on the north shore of Long Island where we drove down a large steep hill to unload our gear but had to park our cars up the hill after unloading. So I drove down the hill, unloaded my gear, drove up the hill, parked the car, and walked down the hill to play the gig -- more to do than a typical load in but not difficult at all.

 

At the end of the gig I had to walk up the hill to get my car. Forgot to mention that it was one of the hottest days of the year -- 90+ degrees F. After playing the gig I was exhausted (mostly from the heat) and after climbing the hill to get my car I was drenched in sweat but fortunately my hill climbing for the day was complete...until I reached for my keys and didn't have them. I accidentally left them in my wire bag which was down the big steep hill at the beach... Talk about dumb!

 

I don't remember how it came about but after walking back down the hill to get my car keys a park ranger was kind enough to drive me up the hill to my car. Wasn't expecting that but sometimes you just get lucky. I don't think I would have done too well scaling the hill a second time in that heat.

[JamPro]

On 4/10/2023 at 10:17 PM, Moonglow said:

Okay, here’s another one, going way back. I was loading my gear into my 1973 Cutlass Supreme (badass car) after a gig. Thought I had everything loaded in…..

 

But the fact remains: I ran over my keyboard.

 

That's nothing.  My step-mother was an avid violinist and violist.  She owned multiple historically significant instruments (appraised at > $100k apiece), including one she borrowed from my uncle.

 

She was going to a rehearsal and thought she had all her instruments in the car.  She back over one of these instruments, crushing it into splinters.

 

But, there was an antique instrument repair guy about an hour away.  She took the crushed instrument to him, and he was able to restore it so that it could be played and you couldn't visibly see that it had been damaged.  I have no idea what such a thing does to the sound or the value of a historical instrument.

[B4i]

Playing a wedding about 15 years ago for a couple that would come to all of our public gigs. Due to a date clash we had a stand in guitarist and no "DJ" equipment for music before/after and most crucially playing the first dance. 

 

I was using Cantabile at the time so added an audio file of the first dance to the opening patch - problem solved. Fast forward to the day and the first dance is playing and everyone is watching the happy couple. About two mins in, for reasons still unknown to me, I decided to flick through to the next patch. First dance cuts off dead. Band all turn and look at me. Instantly I knew what I had done and had no way of restarting the song without it starting from the beginning again. Fair play to the singer he starts a round of applause like nothing has happened and gets going with his usual pre-first song patter. 

 

At the end of the night band go to say congratulations to the bride and groom. Could tell they wanted to say something about the first dance. Good old British politeness stopping them of course!

[RABid]

I think I have told this one before, but here goes ... again.

 

When playing in my first band as a keyboardist I never drank or did drugs. I was not a prude about it, but I had an uncle on each side of the family that were alcoholics. I avoided temptation, and when bandmates or roadies threw a party they would invite me and tell me that would have Pepsi available. In contrast, the guitarists did not drink or do drugs, constantly bragged about it, and never got invited to parties. Anyway...

 

We were playing our home location and the place was packed. The drummer and I both came down with flue systems during practice the day before. He went to the doctor the next day. I went to work. We played the first set and I spent the entire time playing with one hand and my other hand covering my mouth as I coughed every breath. 

 

"You've really got it bad," the drummer said. "The doctor gave me some cough medicine if you want to tray it." The bottle was still sealed and I opened it, taking a short sip since I did not have a spoon. We started the second set and I was back to playing with two hands. When I would start coughing my head off I would take another sip.  At some point I remember wondering when we got the fog machine. I also wondered why the singer and the bass player kept looking over at me and smiling. Not just smiling. Really big grins. When the next break came the drummer came over to get his cough medicine so he could take a dose.

 

"It's empty."

"Sorry. I did not realize that I took it all, but I finally stopped coughing."

"THAT HAD CODINE IN IT!" The entire band was laughing at the kid who never drank. They even got me a chair so I could sit while playing the rest of the night. After the show the band was all around me, still laughing about the events that night.

 

"I never heard sound like that coming from a Hammond before" the bass player said. 

"Guys. I'm really sorry."

"No. No." the singer said. "You sounded great. We just never heard sounds like that coming from an organ before." Everyone else was shaking their heads in agreement. At some point I abandoned the temperamental MiniMoog and played everything on the Hammond. My Hammond had a little lever next to the volume pedal. You could use the side of your foot to bend notes down a step. I was using that ability while using the draw bars like a filter. That allowed me to cover my synth solos on the Hammond complete with pitch bend and filter opening and closing. They had never heard a Hammond used that way. In addition, it seems the codeine removed my stage fright and I was ripping solos like a pro. Something that I thought about for a few seconds before realizing what a road that could take me down. I was so afraid of turning out like my uncles that I never drank or took anything on stage again. I really wish we had recorded the night.

[Lou Gehrig Charles]

20 minutes ago, RABid said:

 

"It's empty."

"Sorry. I did not realize that I took it all, but I finally stopped coughing."

"THAT HAD CODINE IN IT!" The entire band was laughing at the kid who never drank. They even got me a chair so I could sit while playing the rest of the night. After the show the band was all around me, still laughing about the events that night.

 

I wonder what the stuff was?  When we were kids, my parents would give us something called Novahistine Elixir which was super powerful and would zap even the worst cold or flu symptoms.  It also tasted like Peppermint Schnapps.  It was like liquid candy canes.  Apparently the stuff went from on-the-shelf to behind-the counter to off-the market entirely as the years went by.  I am sure more than a few kids or adults chugged the whole bottle!  It was that good.  

[o0Ampy0o]

It could have been flavored Codeine in liquid form. I had a dentist who had prescribed it for himself when he felt cold congestion coming on. He explained how it opened up the respiratory system. When I had surgery on my jaw he prescribed liquid Vicodin. That really only numbed my body like everything thickened and I slept really well but the pain was not reduced, just thickened if that makes sense. Codeine is more effective for pain IME. Also takes you to a happy place. 🙂

[analogika]

12 hours ago, o0Ampy0o said:

It could have been flavored Codeine in liquid form. I had a dentist who had prescribed it for himself when he felt cold congestion coming on. He explained how it opened up the respiratory system. When I had surgery on my jaw he prescribed liquid Vicodin. That really only numbed my body like everything thickened and I slept really well but the pain was not reduced, just thickened if that makes sense. Codeine is more effective for pain IME. Also takes you to a happy place. 🙂

 

I only had codeine prescribed once in my life, and I'll absolutely avoid it for the rest of my life if I can. Insidious, nasty shit. 

I took ten drops in the morning, ten in the evening, just to numb the coughing reflex and get my organism back from "argh not breathing" panic back into self-care and recuperation mode. 

I was completely beside myself, but subtly enough that I didn't notice. Things like leaving the studio not just unlocked, but wide open for three days after a load-out. (Luckily, nothing happened.) 

Never touching that again. 

[MathOfInsects]

21 hours ago, analogika said:

 

I only had codeine prescribed once in my life, and I'll absolutely avoid it for the rest of my life if I can. Insidious, nasty shit. 

I took ten drops in the morning, ten in the evening, just to numb the coughing reflex and get my organism back from "argh not breathing" panic back into self-care and recuperation mode. 

I was completely beside myself, but subtly enough that I didn't notice. Things like leaving the studio not just unlocked, but wide open for three days after a load-out. (Luckily, nothing happened.) 

Never touching that again. 

I had a similar experience on it. Before it was prescribed, I was begging for some relief. After I took it, it was that dumb-ass medicine I wanted relief from. 
 

[o0Ampy0o]

Lightweights :-) 

 

10 drops sounds like a lot even if it is a weak prescription of Codeine. Liquid is absorbed by the body more readily as soon as it is in your mouth.  I would take one or two tablets which have binding agents and other fillers comprising the physical tablet. Never had anything like memory lapse or loss of control of my ability to do anything I am aware of. Not saying you can safely operate a vehicle. I am speaking of losing control of your body and mind.

 

Maybe the potency is different in the country you are in? In the USA during the 80's if you had a cavity addressed on up to wisdom teeth removed Codeine was the standard prescription through a dentist, at least in my limited experience of dentists and dental work. I just did some quick Googling and Codeine is 15% as powerful as Vicodin (Tylenol + Hydrocodone). I have never had a root canal but I imagine they are still prescribing something stronger than aspirin which is what I was referred to after having a tooth prepped for a crown replacement which is the most serious work I have had during the last 20 years. That crown at the time it was replaced was 25+ years old. When it was first put on Codeine was prescribed. Still had to do some grinding. Still had to go with a temp crown for two weeks while the new crown was made and I could fit in the appointment. It was Aspirin instead of Codeine. They have a crown making machine available and some dentists have them right in their offices these days. Many, like mine, still order crowns from a vendor which extends the process time.

[analogika]

20 hours ago, o0Ampy0o said:

Lightweights 🙂

 

10 drops sounds like a lot even if it is a weak prescription of Codeine. Liquid is absorbed by the body more readily as soon as it is in your mouth.  I would take one or two tablets which have binding agents and other fillers comprising the physical tablet. Never had anything like memory lapse or loss of control of my ability to do anything I am aware of. Not saying you can safely operate a vehicle. I am speaking of losing control of your body and mind.

 

Maybe the potency is different in the country you are in?

 

I just re-checked, and it was 15 drops twice a day, at 1 mg codeine/drop. 

[MathOfInsects]

What's that you ask? Has something worthy of this thread happened in between the time of my last post and today?

 

Well, it depends. Would going to a venue 40 miles away from the correct one just because the names are similar and being not the just "first" but suspiciously the "only" one there for too long before sending a text that says, "Am I at the right place?" and finding out the actual venue was a long drive away, and instead of being first I was now going to be potentially coming in embarrassingly hot for a multi-act gig with a tight turnaround, qualify as dumb? If so, then the answer is yes. Last night in fact.

Two things about this: I didn't have comedy on for the first drive, which obviously jinxed it. And guess what? I was still the third one at that gig (out of 7). No matter how late my NY brain ever thinks I will be, you can never be the last one somewhere when you live in CA.

  

[Moonglow]

Here’s some more recent dumbness. Playing a club job a few weeks ago, and towards the end of our second set, my Ventilator stops working. I have the CX-3 engine of my Kronos routed through a dedicated output to the Ventilator, and while I could still hear the organs just fine, there was no “Leslie” effect…just plain, dry organ. Sounded horrible. My first thought was that I inadvertently hit the break button on the Vent, but this was not the case.

 

After the set, I start swapping out cables like mad, but to no avail. The Ventilator is fried.

 

So I copied a few rompler organ patches over to my Set List screen, and get through our last set. Kicking myself that I didn’t bring my Mini Vent for back up. 

 

So I’m breaking down my gear at the end of the night, still in a bit of a tizz (thinking of repair costs) and what do I discover? The cable that connects to the line lump had come out just enough to cut off the power to the Vent. It looked like it was fully inserted, but apparently not, so I pushed it back in and everything worked just fine!

 

Here’s the dumb part: Had I bothered to pay attention, I would have noticed that the red indicator lights on the Vent were not illuminated (i.e., no power). I could still hear the organs (sans Leslie effect) which made me think the problem was internal to the Vent. I was so locked-in to this thought that I ignored the obvious.

 

The experience did have a beneficial effect, last night my Mini Vent was in tow, representing a trend that will continue.

 

[Josh Paxton]

On 4/12/2023 at 3:13 PM, wineandkeyz said:

Which is how I came to own a copy of Celine Dion's Greatest Hits

 

If we can expand the topic of this thread to include unlikely ways you've come to own embarrassing albums...

 

A few years back my wife and I went to see Weird Al, and sprung for the VIP tickets with the post-show meet-and-greet. Part of the deal was, you could bring any one item for Al to autograph – an album, a shirt, a spatula, a hamster, a piece of raw chicken, whatever. So between the two of us, we decided to bring two album covers for him to sign. Then when our turn came, after saying our hellos and such, I said to him, "We wanted to get your signature on your two most historically significant albums: the one that introduced the world to your iconic parodies of pop music [as I handed him my original copy of his first album, purchased when I was twelve]... and the one that introduced the world to your iconic parodies of jazz."

 

And when he saw what the second album was, he laughed. Not like a polite, "oh that's cute" laugh, but a genuine, from-the-heart laugh at a joke that he had clearly never heard before. So now I can basically die happy, knowing that I made Weird Al laugh.

 

Anyway, that's how I came to own a (second hand, of course) copy of Kenny G's "Duotones," whose Weird-Al-autographed jacket now hangs proudly on my wall.