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This worked...


Ross Brown

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Here is a copy of the CL ad I posted a few months ago... We got a great guitarist out of it. The guy saw the humor. Just thought I'd share a piece of my cynical nature for a good Friday afternoon. Boy I was an angry bastard.... :laugh:

 

[font:Century Gothic]We are seeking a lead guitarist that wants to only play the same songs that they already know. Please no replies from anyone that thinks stretching themselves a bit is any fun. If you can learn new songs and that sounds like fun, keep moving. And no way do we want someone that would be willing to play songs in multiple genres. That would be just dumb. When you get a good crowd going, they dont want to hear none of that other stuff (whatever it may be) even if the groove keeps going. Ideally you wont be someone that checks their email on a regular basis. If you have a cell phone, and you join the band, do not give me the number. The last thing I want to be able to do is get in touch with you faster than the email (that you dont check). I suppose I could call your house after you have already left for the gig. That way at least you will eventually know what happened (if you have an answering machine).

 

If you reply, keep in mind that whatever I tell you our set list is; it can not be changed! Please dont even think about suggesting anything that you would want to do. Just look at our set list, judge it, and move on. Why would we want the lead guitarist to feel like it is ok to suggest good songs that would make them happy to be in the band? Please, please, if you think that far out of the box, reply to someone else.

 

Oh, if you do reply, please send your reply in the form of a text from a 14 year old girl. I think it is important for adults to make sure they dont look like they have any communication skills, especially if we are asking them to join our band where we will be in the public eye.

 

We are in our 40s. If that is too old for you that is fine. If you are 20, you are too young for us. You wont keep up.

 

If you think this posting is funny, and you play guitar (well), then come audition/play with us. If this posting offends you, then perhaps you have been told something (like you care..)[/font]

"When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown
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Sarcasm is wasted on the stupid.

 

However, the stupid are like crack for the sarcastic.

 

Go figure...

 

Peace,

 

wraub

 

I'm a lot more like I am now than I was when I got here.

 

 

 

 

 

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If you think this posting is funny, and you play guitar (well), then come audition/play with us. If this posting offends you, then perhaps you have been told something (like you care..)

 

Brilliant strategy for weeding out malcontents. The clever part was left for the end.

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