OT: Joke

[Chad Thorne]

Emailed to me by a friend:

 

Bono and guitarist the Edge are in a plane crash and end up standing in front of God, who is seated on his giant white throne. God asks them the same question. First, he turns to the Edge. "Edge, tell me what you believe in." He responds, "I believe in Gibson guitars and in the fact that the world would be a much better place if we were alive to make more U2 records." God tells the Edge to take a seat at his right. "Now it's your turn, Bono," God says. "What do you believe in?" Bono replies, "I believe you're sitting in my seat."

 

 

[Guitarzan]

funny.

our cat drug home a mole the other day with the rear end partially eaten.

so you could say my cat likes moleasses..say it.

[MILLO]

 

One could easily switch Bono for Yngwie Malmsteen

[Corner Pocket]

From the humour thread on the Keyboard Corner:

 

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come

once-a-more! Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig", she retorted indignantly. "In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives". "Hey, coola down, lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'."

 

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again

 

[Rampdog]

Emailed to me by a friend:

 

Bono and guitarist the Edge are in a plane crash and end up standing in front of God, who is seated on his giant white throne. God asks them the same question. First, he turns to the Edge. "Edge, tell me what you believe in." He responds, "I believe in Gibson guitars and in the fact that the world would be a much better place if we were alive to make more U2 records." God tells the Edge to take a seat at his right. "Now it's your turn, Bono," God says. "What do you believe in?" Bono replies, "I believe you're sitting in my seat."

 

There is some truth to this...

Where did I read that U2 were performing and Bono stood up front on the stage and started clapping his hands One, Two, Three, Four, and so on... He said "Each time I clap my hands somebody dies in Africa, (I think)...

Somebody from the audiance yelled out, "Then quit clapping your hands play some fu*king music."

I could have this wrong but it was something like that...

[A String]

Emailed to me by a friend:

 

Bono and guitarist the Edge are in a plane crash and end up standing in front of God, who is seated on his giant white throne. God asks them the same question. First, he turns to the Edge. "Edge, tell me what you believe in." He responds, "I believe in Gibson guitars and in the fact that the world would be a much better place if we were alive to make more U2 records." God tells the Edge to take a seat at his right. "Now it's your turn, Bono," God says. "What do you believe in?" Bono replies, "I believe you're sitting in my seat."

 

There is some truth to this...

Where did I read that U2 were performing and Bono stood up front on the stage and started clapping his hands One, Two, Three, Four, and so on... He said "Each time I clap my hands somebody dies in Africa, (I think)...

Somebody from the audiance yelled out, "Then quit clapping your hands play some fu*king music."

I could have this wrong but it was something like that...

 

It was part of the Live 8 Concert to raise awareness about global poverty.

 

There was a commercial on TV during the same time, where different celebrities did this. Everyone from Bono to Paul McCartney.

[Corner Pocket]

Always check snopes!!!

 

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/bono.asp

 

 

[Eric Iverson]

Is Bono really as egotistical as people paint him, or is he just trying to take advantage of his celebrity and money to help people?

[Chad Thorne]

Always check snopes!!!

 

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/bono.asp

 

 

So the Bono hand-clapping story is apocryphal. Still a great story, though.

 

Lots of talented people born on May 10: Bono, Fred Astaire, Donovan, me, Sid Vicious...

[Corner Pocket]

Is Bono really as egotistical as people paint him, or is he just trying to take advantage of his celebrity and money to help people?

 

Bono apparenly once paid an assistant to charter a plane and fly back to Ireland to pick up a forgotten favourite hat. Yes he is using his wealth and celebrity to bring attention to what are, (to him), important causes. Not really much different from Jerry Lewis and the MDA, in a sense. Bono comes across, (to me), as having an air of moral superiority. I think that Bono likes to use shame and guilt to manipulate people. I don't think Bono is interested in viewpoints that conflict with his own.

 

I don't get that vibe from some others. Bill & Melinda Gates seem to be much better at philanthropy with dignity and humility.

 

YMMV

[Rampdog]

Bill & Melinda Gates seem to be much better at philanthropy with dignity and humility.

 

YMMV

So true....

[Chad Thorne]

Bono apparently once paid an assistant to charter a plane and fly back to Ireland to pick up a forgotten favourite hat.

Honestly, if I could afford it I probably would, too. In his defense, Bono spends a lot of money trying to help others as well as indulging himself.

 

Bono comes across, (to me), as having an air of moral superiority.

I've known a lot of social-activist, "do-gooder" types like that. It almost seems as if people like that need to be that way to sustain the energy required to accomplish what they're trying to accomplish.

 

I've heard Gandhi be could be a self-righteous little pr*ck, too...

[Rampdog]

I've heard Gandhi be could be a self-righteous little pr*ck, too...

 

Well... He starved a nation to prove a point...

[Corner Pocket]

I've heard Gandhi be could be a self-righteous little pr*ck, too...

 

Well... He starved a nation to prove a point...

 

Penn & Teller have an episode in their "Bull$h!+" series dedicated to exploding the mythology surounding those that tend to be appreciated as holier than thou. I've not done any independent fact checking, but there usually is some satisfaction in seeing the might fall, so why let the truth get in the way of a good joke, right??? Ghandi, Mother Theresa and some others get examined Penn & Teller style.

[fantasticsound]

There's another joke along these lines that I've heard for years with a variety of different names...

 

An unknown musician dies and goes to heaven. He's being shown around by an angel. "You were a wonderful musician on Earth. Now you have to opportunity to play with famous musicians who preceded you in death."

 

With that he opens a door and the recently deceased man sees Jimi Hendrix jamming away. He's floored!

 

Next he peers out on a stadium stage where Buddy Holly, Janis Joplin, George Harrison and other celebrity musicians are taking turns playing songs with a backing band including John Bonham on drums and a host of unknown musicians getting their chance to play with their musical inspirations.

 

After this the angel opens the door to an entirely white room whose size is difficult to gauge. Not too far into this room stands a diminutive black musician the man immediately recognizes, wailing away on a guitar.

 

The new arrival turns to the angel and says, "I didn't know Prince died before me!" The angel replies, "Oh.. that's G-d.. he just thinks he's Prince!"

[Trucks]

My older brother only ever gave me one piece of good advice.

 

"Don't, EVER, trust anybody that wears their sunglasses indoors"

[Kramer Ferrington III.]

About Bono:

 

Well, like a lot of celebrities, he could charter planes to go pick up favourite hats and NOT give a rat's ass about starving people in Africa. It's not his job to save lives, he's doing it on his own bat, so why not indulge himself every now and then?

 

As far as Bono using guilt to persuade people, why the hell not? If we're made to feel a tad guilty... but it saves lives, I'd say it's a guilt-trip well spent.

 

And personally, I'm not convinced that Bill & Melinda Gates are so wonderful. As far as I know, all that philantropy is a pretty gorgeous tax deduction, so yeah, it helps people. But it's not exactly a bad deal for Bill either. He comes across like a good guy instead of being an anonymous tax payer.

 

Bono tries to get governments to write off 3rd world debt. That doesn't sound like a tax deduction to me.

 

Does it help him sell albums? Yeah, probably, but they were selling lots of albums already. And for everyone that buys a U2 album thinking they're buying a piece of the moral high-ground, someone else thinks Bono is a self-righteous pr!ck, so it probably cancels itself out.

 

Having said that, I LOVED THE JOKE.

 

Re: Mississippi

 

I *had* read that before, ages ago. But I'd forgotten how it went. Thanks for that!

 

Re: Penn And Teller

 

Call me eccentric, but I'd rather have Bono, Gandhi and Mother Theresa rather than those back seat drivers.

[mdrs]

Bono is awesome. His effort to have countries erase third world debt is a stroke of genius.

 

I don't get the Bono bashers. Give back to the world more aid and joy then Bono has. Then bash him to your heart's content.

 

In the mean time???? Shut up, and play your guitar.