Sick unto death of being part of the problem

[Tedly Nightshade]

For a while it seemed like the tide was turning around here- like we really might be able to complete an album and get the show on the road. I can't go on driving the car, trashing the natural world I so love, doing my little dance on the mass graves of the tortured and starved, and on the bones of the poisoned and neglected. To be able to pursue a life of privilege when so many, human and otherwise, are deprived of their most basic animal needs is beyond me. I am incapable of sustaining the tortuous rationales that enable me to burn resources like there's no tomorrow while maintaining the openness necessary for creative work. And the idea that that work could in any way redeem my role in the ongoing exploitation and destruction is just not an idea I can buy anymore. Today I finally broke it off with my engineer, the album mostly tracked, a couple attempts at final mixes done. There is no doubt in my mind that the music in question is as powerful and healing and music gets, that it is sorely needed in these times, and that kept me going for a while. On the way to the studio I would see three or four cops pulling people over for driving while poor, and I never once had the guts to stop and get out and stand up for any kind of justice. Why? I would have been beaten up and incarcerated for my troubles, and I'm just too chickenshit. I can't live with myself when I just drive on by as people's already barely workable lives are further disrupted by the police. I know what it was like in Nazi Germany to walk on by not attracting undue attention while brains were spilled against the streets- I do the same thing every time I go to town, and if brains are being spilled instead of much-needed means of transportation being confiscated, I will probably do the same thing. My relief at not being stopped and searched and harassed myself is considerably dampened by the knowledge that just that is happening to people all day long, while the known child molesters in the neighborhood are left to go about their horrible entertainments. And the many locals who would feel a lot better about taking matters into their own hands are sitting on those hands contemplating their own prosecutions if they were to do that, prosecutions that would not be neglected. I thought I could find the strength and peace to finish the album while the engineer made racist and homophobic asides, quite out of habit, all day, and maybe I could have if this damned invasion of Iraq hadn't taken place. But it's more than I can stomach to be helped by someone who views me as valuable and people of other colors as expendable, even if this is a largely unexamined view held mostly out of long habit. It just calls too much attention to my own hypocrisy- making art with power obtained from the radioactively poisoned and dammed Columbia river, which flowed freely and unpoisoned mere decades ago, driving to work on a road made by dredging the recently wild rivers, enjoying the pleasures of the area because the Chinese, who were once half the population here, were tortured, killed, and harassed out of the place, as were the native peoples. All so recently I can taste it. I can't see continuing to take part in the rape and waste of the land I love, in the destruction of the habitats and food supplies of the plants and animals I love, in the poisoning of everything and everyone I hold dear. There is nothing I can do with music that will reverse any of that. I can do powerful, transformative magic, healing, but it's nowhere near enough, and the price is too steep for me to stomach. Plus I'm scared of all the harassment, all the detainments, confiscations, imprisonments, beatings, and shootings of the American police state running amok. I know touring would be to place myself and my bandmates constantly in harm's way, while poisoning the earth, it's animals plants and peoples all the while. I am trying to figure out what to do. Proceeding with our plans is totally unworkable at least for now, and heartbreaking as that is, it is nowhere near as heartbreaking as the horror unfolding everywhere, and the straw that's breaking this camel's back is the callousness and smugness with which so very, very many of us think of the "ragheads", the "faggots", the whores, the drug addicted, the desperate, and the dying. The first lesson of the first scene of the Bhagavad Gita is from Krishna to his charioteer- we must kill that we may live. I can handle the killing, that can be merciful. But there is no way torture, poisoning, rape, and starvation can be merciful. I am unfit for this life.

[Tedly Nightshade]

Do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world right now ... Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people. You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is - we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plane of engagement... I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one. Regarding awakened souls, there have never been more able crafts in the waters than there are right now across the world. And they are fully provisioned and able to signal one another as never before in the history of humankind... Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of righteous souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless. We have been in training for a dark time such as this, since the day we assented to come to Earth. For many decades, worldwide, souls just like us have been felled and left for dead in so many ways over and over brought down by naivete, by lack of love, by being ambushed and assaulted by various cultural and personal shocks in the extreme. We have a history of being gutted, and yet remember this especially - we have also, of necessity, perfected the knack of resurrection. Over and over again we have been the living proof that that which has been exiled, lost, or foundered can be restored to life again. In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency too to fall into being weakened by perseverating on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails. We are needed, that is all we can know. And though we meet resistance, we more so will meet great souls who will hail us, love us and guide us, and we will know them when they appear. Didn't you say you were a believer? Didn't you say you pledged to listen to a voice greater? Didn't you ask for grace? Don't you remember that to be in grace means to submit to the voice greater?... Understand the paradox: If you study the physics of a waterspout, you will see that the outer vortex whirls far more quickly than the inner one. To calm the storm means to quiet the outer layer, to cause it to swirl much less, to more evenly match the velocity of the inner core - till whatever has been lifted into such a vicious funnel falls back to Earth, lays down, is peaceable again. One of the most important steps you can take to help calm the storm is to not allow yourself to be taken in a flurry of overwrought emotion or desperation thereby accidentally contributing to the swale and the swirl. Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these -- to be fierce and to show mercy toward others, both, are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do. There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it; I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate. The reason is this: In my uttermost bones I know something, as do you. It is that there can be no despair when you remember why you came to Earth, who you serve, and who sent you here. The good words we say and the good deeds we do are not ours: They are the words and deeds of the One who brought us here. In that spirit, I hope you will write this on your wall: When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for. This comes with much love and prayer that you remember who you came from, and why you came to this beautiful, needful Earth. -Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Author, Women Who Run With the Wolves -------------------------------------- What can be said that Estes has not said, in this very recent writing? How can I do it? How can I show my soul without being part of the problem? There are things she does not address- how to endure the taste of another's blood poisoning at my hands? I think she's right, I need to go inward, deep deep inward, and that can not be done while making albums and driving cars. Help me, wildness.

[Brakka]

I would like to hear your music, even if it is not mastered.

[Sylver]

Ted, We work with what we have. ;)

[G. Ratte]

Is this a parody? Are you being sarcastic? 'cuz this is the most over-the-top example of 'liberal guilt' I've ever seen. Self-indulgent too, because the world keeps churning away no matter what your opinions are. Now you can decide to be a player, or you can decide to be an ineffectual chump with the resources you're lucky enough to have. Pragmatism or suicide, man... make a choice.

[dougsthang]

Dude, It's hard for me to comprehend that Oregon is such a heavy place. I hardly see that much stuff in LA! Maybe you have too much rain and need more healing sun. We aren't curing cancer here, it's just music made to be enjoyed by others, lighten up. You only go around once, try and enjoy the ride.

[TyPie]

WOW!-----those are some heavy, deep, caring reactions. You sound like an excellent candidate for some type of social work. Folks with your kind of empathy are sorely needed!

[dougsthang]

It's a gift... Maybe it's a view from a different direction. Things aren't that bad if you look from different angles. Don't stress about things that are out of your control and enjoy the things you do have. Enjoy the music you make and that's it, if others get something from it, that's a bonus.

[Jotown]

[quote]The first lesson of the first scene of the Bhagavad Gita is from Krishna to his charioteer- we must kill that we may live. [/quote]I believe that the metaphor is about killing our own ego and desire nature so that we may live an enlightened life.

[Prague]

You know Nazism from current-day Oregon? Yea, right. Every time there isn't a leftist in the White House, all of the sudden it's the End Of The World. You could be volunteering to help the needy rather than opining on your computer. I'm glad that you figured out that writing a song doesn't feed anybody. I've never understood why self-induldgent, emotive people never figured out that they produce emotions, and little else.

[Jotown]

[quote]Originally posted by paostby: [b]I'm glad that you figured out that writing a song doesn't feed anybody. I've never understood why self-induldgent, emotive people never figured out that they produce emotions, and little else.[/b][/quote]Wow what a soul-less response. Songs/Music/Art have value. They can change someones life, alter someones destiny. Both for the creator and the recipient. From the tone of your post I am assuming that you are not an artist/musician. Are you saying that conservatives like yourself don't produce emotions other than anger?

[Danny M]

Hey, Ted, I didn't mention in the Christianity thread that I am a Roman Catholic, but I'm saying it now because sometimes one finds wisdom in all kinds of places. There are lots of great little nuggets in "The Lord Of The Rings:" Frodo: I wish the the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had ever happened. Gandalf: So do all who live through such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us. Bilbo was meant to find the ring, just as you were meant to have it, and that is a very comforting thought. Sam: (Something to the effect of) The people that they sing about, Mr. Frodo, are the ones who, no matter how bad it got, never gave up. There's a lot of bad in the world, so much so that it sometimes obscures the good. Sometimes everyone gets discouraged. Remember, however, that the sun never goes away. We just can't see it all the time. -Danny

[Prague]

[quote]Originally posted by Jotown: [b] [quote]Originally posted by paostby: [b]I'm glad that you figured out that writing a song doesn't feed anybody. I've never understood why self-induldgent, emotive people never figured out that they produce emotions, and little else.[/b][/quote]Wow what a soul-less response. Songs/Music/Art have value. They can change someones life, alter someones destiny. Both for the creator and the recipient. From the tone of your post I am assuming that you are not an artist/musician. Are you saying that conservatives like yourself don't produce emotions other than anger?[/b][/quote]Ahhh, the predictable insult of branding me and assigning anger and soul-lessness as a prejorative. How loving of you. I've been a writer/musician for 30 years. Anything that people do from artistic output is from THEIR impetus. The artist wrote a song and can feel good about it. But the artist didn't do the works. I simply see a difference. So, call me some more names. That will be your impetus and I won't take credit for it.

[jackpine]

Ted, My kids were very young during most of the Reagan era. This was a point in my life where non-violent civil disobedience was a regular happening with my family and friends. I really believed, that, with a President who thought you could call back an ICBM, we were doomed and this nuclear issue demanded my full attention. My kids watched all of this happening. One afternoon a reporter for a local paper was interviewing a bunch of us while the kids played nearby. At one point in the conversation he turned to the kids and asked them if they were afraid of the bombs. My oldest daughter, about 6 at the time, said "I'm not afraid....my Dad won't let that happen." Naive, of course, but real as well. We all dance with the beast. You choose your level of involvement with the economic system, the political system, the religious systems. But there is a sense of needing to do "right" There is a biblical concept of the "faithful remnant". Somebody doing "right" that really kind of holds the whole place together. Welcome to the club. :wave:

[Jotown]

Sorry paostby, I did not mean to offend thee. I did not label you as soul-less, only your response. And I did not call you any names; unless you consider "conservative" a prejorative.

[GZsound]

Actually there is nothing wrong with feeling a little helpless. There is nothing wrong with wondering where we fit in the world around us. However, some of us can look around at our lives and thank God we weren't born a starving African child, and others can look around and the thought never crosses their minds. The dilema is to decide if the weight of the world is truly ours to hold and deal with. Some with the same feelings get involved in helping the less fortunate. Others do nothing but observe the worst of humanity while on the sidelines. If you start to let the state of the world get you down, you have several choices. Help, observe, ignore or simply complain. Now I have empathy for anyone's personal feelings, but I also know Applegate, Oregon and the last time I looked, there is not some goose stepping police force beating up the poor. There are not a lot of folks sleeping in doorways and there sure isn't a homeless camp anywhere close. Woods, lakes (my old fishing hole was Applegate lake), small rural communities and Medford close by where all the survivalists have moved because of the air currents and protection from the big one. Not exactly New York City. More likely, the police are busy with the logger types and their pickup trucks and too much beer. Beating up the wife and the dog on a Saturday night passes for recreation up there in the woods. And in my many many years in Oregon, I have the utmost respect for the Oregon State Police. They are never accused of anything untoward, they have always been pleasant and polite with me and even very helpful when I needed them. That said, as they say, charity begins at home. Play some music at an old folks home..like I did last night. Play for free for a fund raiser to help the homeless. Help out at a local soup kitchen. Get involved on a local level and simply do what you can. Helping one person at a time is where it starts. Doing nothing but worrying about the state of the world does nothing to help the state of the world.

[BP3]

Bearing the weight of the world's issues will disolve your stomach lining and then some. Do what you can to help your neighbours and comminuity. With free time, help feed someone, teach someone to read or run auto tune software. :wave:

[Tedly Nightshade]

Hey GZ, thanks for the thoughtful post. It's pretty mellow here in the Applegate, although there are many more cops than there were a couple years ago, or even last year. To go to the studio where I've been working, I drive through Central Point and that area, and the poverty is seriously shocking- it's evident from the way people are physically formed that malnutrition and speed are rampant there. That's where I'm seeing the heavy police action. I used to drive an old Scout, and I could count on being pulled over real regularly. Now I have a newer Toyota and I'm NEVER pulled over- this opened my eyes to the "driving while poor" phenomenon. It makes me sick. I used to live in the city and step over the diseased and dying every day. I've spent so much time with the homeless and disenfranchised, not talking down as part of a service agency but eye to eye on the street. When I visit San Francisco or Portland, and step over the used condoms and used syringes in the street, I just cannot do it as casually as so many of the locals. I don't see how we can tolerate starvation and deprivation right among the wealthy and living beyond the earth's means. I've done so much work with soup kitchens, so much work helping my disadvantaged neighbors, particularly one blind older woman, bailed my neighbor's truck out of the extortionate police holding yard so many times. Played music for the local mothers/kids group, none of that is new to me. It can feel really good to give of myself and I do it all the time. Hauling trash and building debris to the dump from the woods is another thing I've done a lot. It all needs done, there is no doubt. It's not doing it for me these days. Times are getting really lean and people are getting really desperate, myself included, as I'm sure some of you have noticed. My family has a long tradition of doing volunteer work and donating services- nonetheless I can't help but feel that we have done so much more harm than good. Using so many resources so indescriminately is dooming all of the efforts we make to make the near future workable for some people. I live on 80+ acres of logged over land, totally trashed by the loggers- I've found so many leaking drums of bar oil, heavy equipment transmission fluid, none of which the loggers could be bothered to take with them when they left. Rusty logging cable everywhere- if you dig in the garden you come across the evidence of the previous loggings in layers, like the city of Troy. A few inches down, all kinds of twisted sheet metal, spilled chemicals, a foot below that, more of the same of a previous vintage, a foot below that, really old seeming stuff. We carted so many loads of stuff to the hazardous materials site at the dump, so many loads of scrap metal, so much broken glass. And people have only been trashing this place for 70 years or so. It's a habitat for some rare animals, some not so rare animals, some rare plants, some not so rare plants. As long as I'm here, life can go on, on my puny little chunk of the vast woods, without caterpillar tractors eroding the hillsides, without herbicides being sprayed. So I've been addressing these issues for a long time, in constructive ways, as so many of you have kindly recommended. I wish it seemed to me like I was more part of the solution than part of the problem, but I depend on all the plastic waste and petrochemicals as much as anyone, and wherever I go I spew poison. I'm sick of spewing poison, I'm sick of depending on the chemical industries that produce thousands of gallons of the most toxic chemicals for every single person in the US every year so we can go on living in this doomed fashion, a fashion we can not sustain for much longer, and that is destroying all the wild things I love. Thank you all for your considered and not-so-considered views. I have to think there are others who have reached the breaking point with this unsustainable downward spiral, otherwise I would just shut up. But experience has shown me that every time I speak up I speak the mind of many people who don't have the gumption to speak up, if this can be called gumption. As for the internet, the computers, I haven't been around here much for some months, and the time will come when I won't be around here again, very soon. It's a luxury I can live without, and to find some core of resiliency and honest living, I will be doing without it. Until then, thank you all for your companionship- I wish everyone could have so many thoughtful folks to bounce ideas off of.

[Super 8]

[quote]Originally posted by paostby: [b]I'm glad that you figured out that writing a song doesn't feed anybody. I've never understood why self-induldgent, emotive people never figured out that they produce emotions, and little else.[/b][/quote]Sorry Paostby, but I'm with Jotown on this one. If this is all you've gotten out of 30 years of writing music, you have gotten much... [b]Ted[/b], I read most of what you wrote. Here are my thoughts: You focus far too much on the negatives. I'm not saying you shouldn't acknowledge that there ARE injustices in this world -you should. But you need to look for the positives. [b]Negatives are draining[/b] I can read it in your post. They drain you. They consume us all. I can especially see how overwhelming they have become to you. Are you familiar with the "Serenity Prayer", that is popular with people in 12-step programs? It is a good prayer, and worthy of consideration. I have reprinted in below in it's entirty: [i]"GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen" Reinhold Neibuhr-1926 [/i] Positives are uplifting and energizing. Without them, you will not be able to face the negatives. I strongly suggest you read and apply the book "The Seven Habbits of Highly Effective People". It will REALLY help put everything into perspective. One final quote: [i]"Never doubt that a small group of committed individuals can change the world; indeed, its the only thing that has". -- Margret Mead[/i] Keep the faith, Ted. You CAN make a difference.

[Dak Lander]

Peace to you Ted, you do seem to be dwelling much to much on the negative. Check my sig. Also, good ole Willie wrote, a long time ago... "There's a swallow wingin' ‘cross a cloudy sky Searchin' for a patch of sun so am I Don't ask how long I have to follow him, Perhaps I won't in time but I live one day at a time."

[Tedster]

Tedley, check your PM's...

[Blue Strat]

[quote]Originally posted by paostby: [b]You know Nazism from current-day Oregon? Yea, right. Every time there isn't a leftist in the White House, all of the sudden it's the End Of The World. You could be volunteering to help the needy rather than opining on your computer. I'm glad that you figured out that writing a song doesn't feed anybody. I've never understood why self-induldgent, emotive people never figured out that they produce emotions, and little else.[/b][/quote]Seems to be a logical conclusion to me.

[PlugHead]

FWIW Ted, I find we are not alone in our thoughts on these issues: there is a very real and vocal group of people who share these concerns, yet progress is slow. If we were to look back over human existence, we see amazing things have been done in this past century, yet, we have also jeapardized our existence and the planet in half that century. For all the good that has been accomplished, much bad has come with it as well. We have to admit our mistakes, and make amends. I have to say I left the urban mess I grew up in and around, and moved far, far away from it, where I've found and made my existence in a "community" - something few people actually live in anymore. That makes a huge difference to me, and now my family as well. I am not faced with the daily atrocities I could never become "desensitized" to - abject poverty, homelessness, high crime, gangs, etc. This choice also came at a price, but don't they all ;) Peace, Jay

[Wewus432]

Of course this question AND your state mind have always been present in someone, somewhere. I don't have any answers for you, at this moment, but I will give you a famous re-wording of the question you seem to be asking, which may or may not provide some solace- To be, or not to be,that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? What thinkst thou Arjuna? [b]Will you fight?[/b] because if you will Ted, so will I. I'm counting on you man.

[magicman]

[quote]Originally posted by TinderArts: [b]Bearing the weight of the world's issues will disolve your stomach lining and then some. Do what you can to help your neighbours and comminuity. With free time, help feed someone, teach someone to read or run auto tune software. :wave: [/b][/quote]I agree 100%. I also agree with the many who said, in effect, life is too short to dwell on the negatives. There is a positive in every situation the trick is to find it. Also, there will always be someone whose life sucks worse than yours or a people who are oppressed - don't sacrifice your talents or wallow in guilt - do what you can and make the most of your life. Like someone else here said, worry about what you can control. Don't be a chicken shit when the cops are arresting people for driving while poor but don't be an extremist or put your well being at risk either. write a letter to the editor or present the issue at a community meeting or whatever. Take smart, peaceful action. do what you can do and get on with your life. its too short of ride to live under all that guilt.

[Uh Clem]

[quote]Originally posted by G. Ratte': [b]Is this a parody? Are you being sarcastic? 'cuz this is the most over-the-top example of 'liberal guilt' I've ever seen. Self-indulgent too, because the world keeps churning away no matter what your opinions are. Now you can decide to be a player, or you can decide to be an ineffectual chump with the resources you're lucky enough to have. Pragmatism or suicide, man... make a choice.[/b][/quote]No kidding. My brother drops into rants like these occasionally - everything is wrong with the world, etc, etc. That's why he can't get anything done. I think these are excuses used to cover for being ineffectual in whatever your pursuits are. If you are looking for a way out of doing your music, just say you needed to take a break or whatever - all that other crap is something you need to set down - it is not your load, no matter how much you might want to think it is. It is easy to decide that the weight of the world is dragging you down - but you know what? The world could give a damn about you really. Your life is what [i]you[/i] make it. Great people, people who do make a difference, don't think like that. If you can't change the World, change Yourself and if you can't change Yourself, change the World. Just don't whine about it.

[the stranger]

I'm getting a little more than tired of hearing how people of these opinions are negative. I don't have any trouble looking for the positives in any given situation. But, it is the persistent complacency about the negatives which allows them to multiply and turn into unrepairable situations. I cannot bury my head in the sand just because my life is hunky-dory. The problems and such that we continue to dwell on are most likely a result of wanting what is best for our children and fellow man. Is it negative that I wish better for mankind and know that he has the power to change things. Is it negative that I condemn myself and the actions of my fellow man because I know we are capable of better? Is it negative that I bear the weight of the world on my shoulders? Jesus did. Was he negative? If people like me and Ted want to save the world, is that negative? Maybe Ted gets his inspiration from good things, happy things, the pleasantries of life. If so, how can he be inspired when he is overwhelmed by the negative in the world? I feed off the injustice. It is what compells me to create, but this isn't the case with everybody. Not everybody is sitting around cooking up subversive anarchist underground noise shit, so I think Ted should start playing grindcore. He would be able to release this shit that is eating him up, and fuel some anarchists while he's at it. Because when it's all said and done, what the world needs is more anarchists. :D

[Tedly Nightshade]

Many thanks to all who have written. There are too many kindnesses to reply to, to know where to start... although I'll give it a try in a moment. So to address the negatives! Or rather, the shallow posts that whine about whining. I'm not whining. I'm a person of great power and passion, and if the only voice you can imagine voicing these concerns is one whining, well... that's pretty lame. This topic was written out of anguish and outrage, a roar would actually be a more appropriate tone to envision. One of my troubles is my acute awareness of the positive- and the positive is taking one hell of a beating, many positives go down the tubes every day, and most of the rest are in real danger. I catalog the positive constantly, but doing so really underscores the negative. It puts it in high contrast, if you will. What is developing from this pain and acute awareness of the unsustainable situation we are in, is something very formidable and dangerous. Something really positive! And ready and willing to kill and die, as need be. On a metaphorical ego level, or a literal one. Steve Pow, if you're tuning in, it's very true that I am in a bit of crisis about being effective. I am about to carve on my guitar what Woody Guthrie had carved on his- "This machine kills fascists". And that will be the measure of my effectiveness. The world may not care about me, but I do care about the world. And the world is only in small part a human thing. Does that answer your question, Wewus? :eek: I have been fortunate enough in my live's travails to have ended up in Al-Anon for a while, and I am well aquainted with the Serenity Prayer, which I remember being a lot shorter than that. My trouble is, the part about the things I cannot change- I'm not about to draw that line on the safe side. Who knows what I can change until I've tried and succeeded or failed, and likely I will die not knowing how effective I was. Many have. I can't use that as a cop-out. Clarissa Pinkola Estes's valuable words in the second post on this thread are taking root. A show of soul is what I can contribute, burning, loving, indomitable soul. I have a gig coming up next weekend, and in trying to bring the focus to preparing for that, I realize that the songs I am singing are all about this exact situation and these exact issues. I must have been here before... and these songs do not whine, they roar.

[Super 8]

[quote]Originally posted by Ted Nightshade: [b]What is developing from this pain and acute awareness of the unsustainable situation we are in, is something very formidable and dangerous. Something really positive! And ready and willing to kill and die, as need be. On a metaphorical ego level, or a literal one.[/b][/quote]Oh great... Now you're scaring me. That's all we needs is another fanatic to strap a bomb to his chest and start taking hostages. If you want to live a certain way that's your business -or problem, as the case may be. But don't let your rationale take you to the point where you think it's your place to start deciding other peoples fates for them. Maybe you need to step back a bit from this, and re-think a few things. [quote]Originally posted by Ted Nightshade: [b]I am well aquainted with the Serenity Prayer, which I remember being a lot shorter than that. My trouble is, the part about the things I cannot change- I'm not about to draw that line on the safe side. Who knows what I can change until I've tried and succeeded or failed, and likely I will die not knowing how effective I was. Many have. I can't use that as a cop-out. [/b][/quote]As I noted, I printed it in it's entirety. It's NOT a cop out either... It's a reality you need to contend with. You're not superman. You're not God. You need to accept that. If you don't, then you will find you are able to change very little. Work within the 'possible'. Apply yourself there. You need to understand the 'Circle of influence' vs. the 'Circle of concern', and if you read 'The Seven Habbits of Highly Effective People' as I suggested, you will see what I'm talking about.

[Tedly Nightshade]

No super8, it's not a cop-out, but it gets used that way a lot. I'm not the bomb type, I wouldn't worry about that with me. It's my cat who insists on this killing part. He's not really the bomb type either, but those fangs and claws... oh my. Kittenstyle. It's a way of life.