OT: Is your life turning out the way you'd hoped???

[Super 8]

Time for a non-political discussion. Feel free to think outloud. This is an open question -I'll leave it at that.

[Slowly]

No, I was supposed to be rich by the time I was 30. Kcbass

[phaeton]

no.

[Gtoledo3]

Pretty close, but I still have plenty of time to be dissapointed. :D

[Super 8]

Look! You people are supposed to [b][i]ELABORATE[/b][/i]... Then someone chimes in and says; 'Oh man, I know just how you feel'. Then we have a healthy discussion, a lot of bonding, a group hug, and everybody comes away feeling a whole lot better. Work with me here, people... :mad:

[Gtoledo3]

Ok, I'll take you up on it tommorrow. :)

[flyscots]

At this precise moment, no. 1 year ago, yes. In about 2 months time, hopefully yes. OK, I'll elaborate. Last March I finished my college course at the SAE. I got very good grades but thats not what's important, I loved it there, all that studio time, I didnt want to leave. Last April, after weighing up all my possibilities I made the jump across the pond and landed in Philly. Life was incredible. I was having a fantastic time, both professionally and personally. I made some great friends, had a lot of fun, got really fit and got myself into some good studios. In October, my Visa ran out. I had to return to Scotland. After the most amazing 6 months of my life, this was a huge blow. I was devestated. Since then I have been saving up the money to do it all over again and I should be back in the States by the end of April. My advantage is I'm young. I can take a blow like October's. I can learn from my experiences, pick myself back up and proceed. John Scotsman

[The Thrashole]

No it's totally different than I thought it would be. In a lot of ways it's better. I have lived in a few really nice places.( San Antonio, Outskirts of Denver, Virginia Beach, and i was born in Sunnyvale Calif.) I never in a million years would have thought I would set foot in Ohio much less live there, buy a house have a wife and two fantastic kids. musically I am now in a pretty good spot and I'm not broke all of the time now. :) I have learned to not look too far ahead and enjoy what is going on around where I am.

[Addix Metzatricity]

I must say that, despite just about everything, I'm very happy where I am and where I'm going. When I got out of the Navy two years ago, I was really worried. I got this job with Ciena that pays decently, but my music had fallen behind... Waaaay behind. But after a year or so, I finally got back on my feet financially and have taken private lessons again and am now in my first semester on my way to a music degree. At 24, this is stuff I should have done long ago, but I didn't let that discourage me. Not to mention, I'm with the greatest woman ever to walk the face of the Earth. So, yeah... I like where I am. It's still tough, but it's better than it could be.

[Lee Flier]

Well, like most people I suppose, in some ways it has and in some ways it hasn't. When I was growing up, the main things I dreamed of were: moving to a place I liked (I was living in L.A. at the time which I didn't like), having my own home and studio, being in a great band (not necessarily famous, but working with talented people and very creatively satisfying at whatever level), and having a truly great marriage. Well, I did move someplace I like, have my home and studio, have a band that I love PLUS some other really talented folks that I record and work with on a regular basis. So, in many ways I count my blessings. In other ways - namely finding that elusive mate, and the financial situation - things are sucking the big one. I definitely couldn't have foreseen being 40 and single, and seeing as most of my friends are married now that makes it very tough a lot of the time. The financial situation is really of my own choosing so that doesn't bother me so much, although I'm trying to work more right now so that I can raise money to pay for some things that the band needs. I've had a pretty serious midlife crisis in the past year and a half or so, coming to grips with what I want vs. what I need, and wondering if I ever really will, like the Stones song goes, get what I need. And how I will deal with it if I don't. It's easy enough to keep working hard to achieve what you want, thinking "someday this will all pay off," when you're young. But at some point if it hasn't happened yet after years and years, you think "What if 'someday' never comes?" And it's not a good feeling. Luckily that has all been balanced out by some really satisfying things happening at the same time, so I've dealt with it better than I otherwise might have. Then again, it's not over yet. :D Wishing everybody luck on their life's journey...

[Rick K.]

I cannot say my life has turned out like I imagined it either. I thought I'd have had the kids I'd like to have before 30. Well, that didn't happen unless you count dogs. Financially, I'm doing just fine, but always thought I'd be doing something totally different than being a musician at night and running a branch for a mortgage company during the day. I always pictured myself more in the technical R&D area, utilizing my education more. Musically, I never would have expected my passion for music to be as huge as it is today. I always enjoyed playing music, but wondered why my dad was so wierd about it. Now I know. Had I the foresight, I would have taken more lessons, the Disney job and other opportunities I once had. Then again, had I done that, my professional life would be totally different. Spiritually, I'm not where I thought I'd be. I'm much more tolerant, the older I get. I'm sure I seem quite narrow minded to some of you, just know that I've done a 180 compared to the way I was. I have a great spiritual life. I have amazing friends, a wonderful and supportive family, and a patient wife. I'm grateful. Somedays, I just need to remember that when everything seems to be heading south! Rick

[Rog]

I never made any plans so my life is kind of messy with a few things left unfinished. I'm 28, have a degree in English and a Masters in film but I happen to work in radio, I'm glad I fell into this line of work even though the qualifications, so far, have not been 'used'. I just got told today I'm going to be the regional contact for A&R, the company is branching out into an actual record label. I'm writing music as a part of my job too so things are slowly getting more and more interesting around here.

[freelance]

No, but I'm stisfied that I have it better than many people in the world. I'm 50. I still gig about 30 times a year. I'm a respected musician in my local area. My little home studio pulls in a few grand a year (just enough to satify Uncle Sam - and buy a new piece of gear here and there. I have a decent paying day gig and a wife of 25 years that I am very happy with. I thought that I would be a very successful (ie; wealthy) musician at this point in life - but after several years on the road in the late 60's and early 70's I decided the life of a full time road musician was not enjoyable. I'm middle class, and healthy, living in the USA - given what I'm seen and heard about in the world -I'm doing better than many!!!

[boosh]

'Oh man, I know just how you feel'

[Rick K.]

Hey there freelance!! I grew up in Milwaukee myself. Played trumpet at the Toad cafe downtown mke on their open nights. Had LOTS of fun! I played 3 shows/day for the State Fair for many years. I loved Milwaukee!! About the only thing I don't miss is the temps and snow!! Rick

[Tedster]

Yes and no. Speaking strictly for myself...I wish I hadn't painted myself in a career corner that involves shiftwork.

[PBBPaul]

Freelance, Where do you gig? And with whom? I'm in Delafield myself and with The Pontiac Blues Band for about 13 years now. And at 39, I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. But I do have a nice house, wonderful wife, 2 great kids, good but stressful career and a great band so I guess my life is turning out OK. Paul

[Jeff Leites]

I'm 55, when I was a skinny 15 year old kid, I thought I was going to grow up to be a 280 pound professional wrestler. When I was in college, I thought after graduation, my college band would get good, be famous and always be on tour. But as a backup, I got a computer science degree (such as it was in 1970). I haven't been in a band since 1969, and I've been pushing bits and bytes for 33 years.

[Botch.]

No, but I really can't complain. All thru high school and college my goal was to be a successful Air Force officer. I was in for twelve years, got the bachelor's and master's degrees, but because of the wrong boss at the wrong time I was not promoted to Major and was forced out. I worked for contractors for four years but took a job as a civilian for the Air Force, Project Engineer on Ejection Seat systems. I joined the Reserves as an enlisted troop as I really missed the AF, they're trying to get me my Captain's bars back (AF is critically short of engineers, go figure) so I'm in limbo right now, but if they give it to me I'll probably be shipping out tomorrow so... I have been extremely lucky in the projects I've worked on: electronic warfare systems, nuclear weapon safety, Minuteman and Peacekeeper missiles, the Space Shuttle boosters, and a couple of black programs that still haven't been declassified. I've never wanted to work in music full-time, I did that for one summer and that was enough. At 43 I'm still playing in clubs on weekends and still loving it. I'm thinking of getting a sax now, too... I've been a loner most of my life, but have been dating the most wonderful woman for over two years now. She learned to ski this winter and just last night FINISHED the medical textbook she's been working on for a year and a half (will be published by Lippincott). Her kids are great but I still feel cramped when I've spent too much time with them all, that's a life decision I'll have to make sometime soon, I guess. My one problem now is I don't have a specific goal in life anymore. I'm comfortable but have nothing really to work towards, and I think life starts to stagnate if you don't have a target. Any suggestions? :)

[Rim]

Professionally: Yes. I have a good job and a career in the tech field which is paying well - I was a computer geek when geeks weren't cool. Musically: Yes. I was a late starter as far as joining a band at 26, but better late than never. Recording and performing has been and continues to be about fun. Family & Friends: Yes. My family had some tough struggles there for a little while but seems to be leveling off. I have always been fortunate to have made good friends wherever I end up. Love Life: No. I don't date much and the longest relationship I've had is 9 months - but half of that was a long distance relationship. This is what puzzles me the most. With the success I've had in my other areas of my life, this one is seriously lacking. I won't even divulge what age I lost my virginity - it would shock most, if not all of you! :) I'd like to think I've fallen in love twice in my life so far, but, like I said, they haven't lasted long. Location: Yes. I was born in the Philippines and my family moved here when I was 9, to Long Island, NY. I thought NY was where I was going to stay but to make a long story short, I ended up here in northern Virginia. I must say, I like this area and have no plans on moving back to NY.

[freelance]

Hey, Rich Kruezer - I remember doing a few gigs at "The Toad". I still play the fair - did four shows there in 2002. I can see how you don't miss the weather up here. Hey PBBPaul - Pontiac Blues is a good band. Have been for a long time. I do a lot of freelance work in the Milwaukee area (mostly drums & percussion, occasionally on keys) - couple of band names you would recognize would be Rockerfellas, Good Intentions & 5 Guys with Day Jobs. I do more country club/wedding stuff these days with various bands and I normally do a few shows at Summerfest and the various summer fairs and festivals. If Pontiac Blues is ever in my general area I'll try to introduce myself (although I rarely go to clubs if I'm not gigging).

[Anifa]

At age 25 I had bought a 2 story custom ranch in an upper middle class neighborhood; by 29 years old I had 7 years left in mortgage payments. With a position in Quality Control, upper management, at the Post Office; the sky was the limit. I had plenty of money for living expenses and plenty to blow on music gear and recording equipment..... Sounds like the perfect dream, hunh? Then I got married :cry: Sounds all mixed up, doesn't it??? Damn straight, it's messed up! On January 1, 2000, while scraping to put my life back together after being forced to sell the house that I had bought PRIOR to marriage; I made a desperate attempt to rekindle my music dreams just to keep my sanity. I made a pledge to put a full hearted effort into the pursuit of a music career with a two year "make it or break it" limitation; thus being the birth of MusicBizBuzz.net on January 10, 2000. On April 23rd, 2000 I ended up in the hospital on life support equipment for 8 days. I extended my time limitations on career pursuits to accommodate the setback from the surgery; again in January of 2001, I returned to the hospital as my original surgery had herniated. I just finished paying off all of the medical debt this year, as there were multiple thousands of dollars that accrued. Even with insurance, the co-payments and deductibles amounted to several thousand dollars. Coming straight out of a devastating divorce; life hasn't been too kind, but it hasn't beaten me out of my dreams yet. Being a responsible parent, it limits my flexibility in musical pursuits. My obligations of the home and as a single parent are probably the biggest reasons that I don't pitch my music to publishers and producers as I would do if I had no ties. It is my fear that, if I found an interested party, they would suggest relocation to a major music city. In assuming this, I'd be dead in the water because I will not leave my kids behind and music business professionals do not have the time to wait for custody battles. I am a mother first. My fear does not dwell on the thought of rejection; but rather, the possibility of acceptance and in not being able to immediately follow through with the necessary moves to stabilize a rewarding career. I've pondered getting actively involved, here in Kansas City, with the development and promotion of new talent and live gigs. If things continue to look up financially, without anymore disasters in the near future, I may go ahead a look into band management or establishing a publishing company. I already have the plans underway for a small project studio. OKAY..................... so I elaborated!!!!!!

[KenElevenShadows]

Somewhat. I'm fairly happy, I've managed to gain my health back, I have a great girlfriend, and my job is stable. I am grateful for that. Things are generally going well, and I am very thankful. Some smaller things: I wish I weren't so busy, and that I had made some different decisions in the past, and that I didn't get frustrated with myself so easily. The busy thing is probably not going to go away anytime soon, but I hope that I can slowly over time reduce the amount of things I am responsible for and do.

[Skip_dup1]

No. When I started in college, I planned to be a writer. I sent things in for publication, got accepted in some, a nice note of encouragement from the Saturday Evening Post, and a pile of `maybe next time` letters. I started playing music with friends, largely as something to do during our parties. No plans to play out, no songs written. After moving to Taipei, all that changed. I more or less fell into a great gig as part of a house band, started writing original songs, putting words together with the kind of music I wanted to hear more of. Of course, I also wanted to save my ideas so I started learning about recording. That was 1984. I haven`t veered off that road since. Although I didn`t have plans to write songs or play professionally, I now have all the frustrations of someone who does. I`m in my 40s, trying to get my music in a form that people who like it can acquire a copy, and maybe that could allow me to make and distribute more, at least. So far, not happening. Around 1985 I ran into someone from a film studio who was looking for foreign extras for a t.v. show. After one or two of those I started working with an agent from the production company, and have been doing fairly frequent appearances in film or on the tube ever since, including my current series. I had hoped that it might lead to an opportunity to help promote the music, or provide enough extra income to keep it going. So far, not happening. My day job is as a teacher, which is good because it doesn`t run my life-if there`s a cant-pass-it-up offer from my current talent agency, I can usually find a way to do it. So some things are going pretty good despite my overall less than optomistic outlook. I`m learning lots of cool martial arts stuff from the masters, not Joe`s karate style that he put together from a few lessons and a bunch of movies. I`ve managed to visit some kickass vacation spots. But financially? hanging by my belt loops over a lava pit. I have no idea what`s going to happen five years from now, except way too many birthdays. Socially? forget it. An English teacher? in his 40s? I think women hear that and somehow get it confused with `radioactive gnome with allergy to showers`. I just try to enjoy my life. It`s too short to spend all my time worrying about that. Besides, I can`t bring myself to walk up to someone and say, `maybe you`ve seen me on t.v.` yeah right.

[Chip McDonald]

I don't know, mine's not over yet.

[offramp]

"Is your life turning out the way you'd hoped???" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....coughcough...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....coughwheeze.....gasp Everybody funny, now you funny too! ************ No. And what a weird shift it's made. You should have all known me by now as a backup member of a certain famous persons' backup ensemble. No, no...I spend my days living vicariously through the people who bring their DV cameras in for repair after they've fallen on Austrain slopes shooting Warren Miller films. OR Discovery channel episodes. OR episodes of 'Trading Spaces'. I married an ex-supermodel who skirts cliche' by speaking five languages; is murder in the kitchen, is smart, wants to have children with me, loves me like no one else has, and is my best friend in the world. Who'd'a thunkit? Certainly wasn't in my agenda. We have so little but so much. I have pretty much all the hair I had when I was younger, and I feel better all around, to boot. Life's not bad, to be sure...but god I'm a wishywashy, insecure putz missing that "go out and get it" spirit that should have put me in all of your CD players.

[Raymar]

Let's just say I'm glad I'm not in Baghdad right now.

[Philip OKeefe]

[quote]Originally posted by Super 8: [b]Look! You people are supposed to [b][i]ELABORATE[/b][/i]... Then someone chimes in and says; 'Oh man, I know just how you feel'. Then we have a healthy discussion, a lot of bonding, a group hug, and everybody comes away feeling a whole lot better. Work with me here, people... :mad: [/b][/quote]I know JUST how you feel. ;) I think someone needs a hug! :D I dunno about you, but I feel a whole lot better now! :wave:

[Chip McDonald]

Things are never going to be like you would want them to be, the real question is are things potentially able to get better through some means or another. I really have a problem when I can't answer "yes" to that question.

[JDL]

no. I wish I had more time to do stuff. I'm too busy, being on...the...forum.....