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Dave Bryce

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(OK guys. Top THAT!)

 

I can't. That was brilliant. I was laughing so hard I almost fell out of the chair.

 

I think your taking what I said a little TOO seriously Rod...

 

I'm not ;-)

 

By the way, it's 'I think YOU'RE taking ...'

 

learn how to spell will you?

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What a memorable moment this will be!

I haven't read so many, funny posts for a long time.

But Miroslav's ideas for getting writing ability back is still number one.

 

You gay's are killing me. He-he-he http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

------------------

--Smedis,--

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Smedis wrote:

You gay's are killing me. He-he-he

 

You calling me a fag? pretty lame from a guy whose name is so close to SMEGMA! And what's with that effeminate little "He-he-he" laugh? Butch up, for chrissake!

Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4.
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Actually, I think it's better to have the name close to smegma than, like Joe, his mouth.

 

And Synthfool, you're married, and have 5 cats?

I have 2 children. It must be you who are into animalsex!

 

 

------------------

--Smedis,--

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Originally posted by synthfool@synthfool.com:

 

But then why do your kids look like goats?

 

j/k

 

 

I adopted them from you, don't you remember? http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

 

 

------------------

--Smedis,--

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Originally posted by rsaboiasilva@hotmail.com:

(OK guys. Top THAT!)

 

I can't. That was brilliant. I was laughing so hard I almost fell out of the chair.

 

Me, too. You should apply for the job Graham Chapman held in the Argument Clinic sketch: "Oh, I'm sorry - this is abuse!".

 

Definitely an inspired piece of work, Joe.

 

dB

:snax:

 

:keys:==> David Bryce Music • Funky Young Monks <==:rawk:

 

Professional Affiliations: Royer LabsMusic Player Network

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this is the most pathetic bunch of goons in the most boring forum i have ever seen.

 

i am only looking in here cuz someone posted a link in a REAL forum, craigs, where MUSICIANS are; not whiny little keyboard playing maggots like yourselves.

 

get a life.

 

(flame suit on)

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Um, can't believe I actually came over here. Never met a keyboard player that was not a looser, thats why key parts go to tape for live. Never worthy of being on stage along side of real musicians, maybe behind the amps or something.

 

KBP

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(OK guys. Top THAT!)[/b]

 

Nothing is as terrible to see as ignorance in action.

 

A healthy adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. Ive noticed that there has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.

That explains why people with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

 

I bet though, of all the things you've lost, Im sure you miss your mind the most. But then again I guess your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. One question though, If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

I'd help you out; just tell me which way did you come in?

 

(Hows that for a new bee?)

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You Mac vs. PC people are really ignorant. The Atari Mega 4 wipes the floor with either one of them. Better MIDI timing. Better OS - command line interface for those who know how to type, cute little icons for those with no verbal skills. No boot-up time to speak of. Dual-button mouse, which Apple still hasn't figured out. Inexpensive programs.

 

Oh yeah, they're out of business because all you Mac vs. PC people didn't pay any attention to a computer that had the same logo as a video game company. You thought it would be too amateurish to have that in your big bucks facilities. And now you're faced with operating systems from companies that don't give a damn about music.

 

Fatboy Slim has sold umpteen zillion records using an Atari. They're still very much in demand in Europe, where people are more concerned with functionality rather than image. Sound-on-Sound still has an Atari notes column.

 

Gee, Dave, that's about as mean as I can get...boy, do I need practice! Where's Terry James now that we need him?!?

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man, i thought there was a fight in here. wassup? y'all sound like a bunch of stoners thinking about maybe getting up to possibly fight. need some alkyhol in here. or some good ole crack, ive been selling it to davids kids... he wonders why they're hyper http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif when they hit their teenage years, ill move em along to heron. ill get the nanosynth AND nanopiano after they swipe it out of his studio to support their habit. they could probably get a dime of oregano for those two POS's.

alphajerk

FATcompilation

"if god is truly just, i tremble for the fate of my country" -thomas jefferson

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Originally posted by Anderton:

You Mac vs. PC people are really ignorant. The Atari Mega 4 wipes the floor with either one of them. Better MIDI timing. Better OS - command line interface for those who know how to type, cute little icons for those with no verbal skills. No boot-up time to speak of. Dual-button mouse, which Apple still hasn't figured out. Inexpensive programs.

 

Eat SIMMS and die, Anderton! Everyone knows that the only REAL music computer is the Commodore 64 running Dr. T's KCS. You Cubase/Acid/MOTU/Logic/ProTools weenies eat my C64's dust! They invented General MIDI so PC/Mac/Atari guys could finally understand how to program music. It's easy. You download some MIDI files or loops and run them on your computer. Wow, you guys are BRILLIANT! I'm in awe. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif

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This is flaming? Jeesh, I've been on too many metal boards. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif

 

You no good fuckers are a bunch of losers who couldn't hack it in the real world so you have found your little studio to escape to. 9/10ths of you jerk-offs are suffering from "my penis is small, so I'll have to get a 164 tracks gigatrip pro unit and I'll show them".

What's real funny is you bastards would probably be creating a fucking masterpiece if you weren't on these stupid bulletin boards trying to get a fucking ego boost by showing off your "vast knowledge" of all things technical and anal retentive.

Not to mention, EQ magazine sucks. What a pretentious piece of shit. The only decent thing in the damn mag is the 7000 ads taking up all that valuable space. Of course, without those ads, the fucking staff would have to actually come up with some fucking content. Wouldn't that be scary?

And why don't we just go and make 74 more forums on this fucking site so we can spend even more time NOT making music. More forums would definitely be a good way to avoid the reality that you bastards have absolutely no talent.

And what fucking forum am I in, anyway? Where the fuck is that damn thread I posted?????? Craigs forum is all I usually post in, but hey...they linked me here.

I usually don't stray from Craig's forum cause every other forum is moderated by a complete asshole who doesn't know shit. Did he write a fucking book on cool projects? No. (Oh...he did write a book? On what??? He's still a no account fuckhead)

 

Bryce??? What kind of fucking name is that? Maybe your parents should have stuck it out past the third grade. Spelling is always a plus, you know. I suppose you are a fucking product of the fucking welfare system?

 

Keyboard corner. Give me a fucking break. What moron came up with that title? That is soooo inspired. Is it like a metaphor for all the sequencing wankers who can't play a fucking instrument, so they go and wack there pud in the corner?

Maybe you guys should take a fucking guitar lesson. Grow a set of nuts, maybe.

"Ooooh, didn't you just love that ELP album? Wow, I love that Hammond preset!! I've got to get that new Roland expansion card!"

 

Fuck you.

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How lame valky.. putting a flaming post then editting it out.

 

Go back to SSS! Bad girl![/b]

 

Naw...man... look again....

 

I was even more brave and put it in

a new thread...

 

See "Trombone players rule!"...

 

Now who's lame, amigo? http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif

 

Valky

 

This message has been edited by valkyriesound on 04-22-2001 at 03:47 AM

 

This message has been edited by valkyriesound on 04-22-2001 at 03:48 AM

Valkyrie Sound:

http://www.vsoundinc.com

Now at TSUTAYA USA:

http://www.tsutayausa.com

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P.S. I ain't got no use for some fucking Nanosynth. Like some $99 sound module is going to be worth the fucking shipping. I'll just bask in the fun of trashing anybody I can think of for no reason other than I was invited to. Only a bunch of keyboard losers would give out fucking invitations to be flamed. To many damn boards are plagued by this kind of shit and you fuckers are sending out invitations???

Must be some forum, eh?

 

(This is quite fun. Thanks for the invite, losers.) http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif

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Originally posted by Anderton:

Gee, Dave, that's about as mean as I can get...boy, do I need practice! Where's Terry James now that we need him?!?

 

yeah, Craig, that was pretty lame. :-) I figured you had gotten plenty of practice at SSS.

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Originally posted by Dave Bryce:

What I thought would be a great flame war was lost into oblivion (remember the tread "Mac vs PC"). Everybody acted so polite, maybe because I asked so. Maybe because everyone was afraid to throw the first stone. I think it could resusrrect though... it's a perfectly thrashable tread.

 

Yeah, I had high hopes for that one as well...it was one of the threads that inspired this contest. I'd say definitely drag it back out!

 

dB

Hardcore Mac guy

 

 

Macs are for wannabee programmers just like Korgs are for wannabee musicians. Neither one of them have ever had anything to offer....and never will!!!

 

 

This message has been edited by midirat on 04-22-2001 at 07:31 AM

"I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a greedy craven little coward." Daffy Duck
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Originally posted by KBP:

Um, can't believe I actually came over here. Never met a keyboard player that was not a looser, thats why key parts go to tape for live. Never worthy of being on stage along side of real musicians, maybe behind the amps or something.

 

KBP

 

ITS SPELLED "LOSER" YOU MORON!!! EVIDENTLY YOU MUST PLAY A KORG. LIKE ALL KORGISTS (SOUNDS LIKE A DISEASE) WHEN YOU READ (YEAH! RIGHT! ANOTHER IMPOSSIBILITY) ANYTHING WITH MORE THAN FOUR LETTERS IN A WORD YOU'RE SCREWED.......

"I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a greedy craven little coward." Daffy Duck
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Originally posted by valkyriesound:

Naw...man... look again....

 

I was even more brave and put it in

a new thread...

 

See "Trombone players rule!"...

 

Now who's lame, amigo? http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif

 

Valky

 

This message has been edited by valkyriesound on 04-22-2001 at 03:47 AM

 

This message has been edited by valkyriesound on 04-22-2001 at 03:48 AM

 

TROMBONE PLAYERS BLOW!!!!

"I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a greedy craven little coward." Daffy Duck
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Originally posted by joegerardi:

(OK guys. Top THAT!)

 

Okay- an original improvisation, to be read aloud:

 

Fetid fruit of a fascist father's fertile flatulence,

mutating into ignoble mockery of life in a putrid cavern

of vast dimension known to every clap-ridden sailor of the seven seas,

which gin-soaked janitor is lacking in his vigilance,

failing to scrub the shit-stained throne in the tavern,

that we on this forum should be exposed to your disease?

 

joe gerardi, slow and lardy,

how does your garden grow?

With fecal exuberance

from your miniscule protruberence

and the spunk of the policemen you blow.

 

And Mister Bryce, how nice! that you deign to dangle that Alesis

before the bright brown noses

and micrometer-measured hoses

of keyboard-playing lickers of feces.

 

Trombone players DO blow-I know- noone gives better head,

excepting guitar players,

loop layers,

and fans of the Grateful Dead.

 

Suck my Sex!

Dansouth, with your big mouth,

you may manage to make some room,

if you jack-hammer that inbred embouchure of Stonehenge teeth

and grasp the fact that the minor third

isn't always the symbol of doom.

 

Slophappy, would you be happy,

with my slop slopping in your mawl?

And Wormhole, would you feel whole

with my worm wiggling in your hole?

 

Wrap your chopless literary lips around this, feeble proponents of I-V-I!

The Gods of Modality have spoken, and your Velveeta is under the gun.

Green grows the Gorganzola, under my Zappa-like nose,

and what is said of noses- clearly in the music shows.

 

http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif

 

- Cameron \"so far ahead the hacks think I'm behind\" Bobro

 

PS. Joegerardi, cool homepage! For all my love of music, when my ex-girlfriend sold off my belongings in my absence, the piano, 4-track, etc. didn't phase me, but I do mourn the loss of my customized Tanfoglio 10mm- based on the CZ-75, IMO the finest standard-issue handgun there was. Glock, schmock, the cops around here tote 'em, and they are rock solid, but it's Heckler and Koch all the way as far as I'm concerned! Hey- commie-loving (married me one) law-breaking dope-smoking wierdo-music-making freaks are armed to the teeth too, what a colorful world!

 

Valkyrie, I'm climbing the walls trying to remember the Cavaradossi opposite Jennifer Larrimore's Tosca at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion about 5 years ago, help me out, I'd hate to miss him if he comes this way, and for the life of me I can't remember the name!

 

You other characters, I'm kidding of course.

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