Gruuve Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 OK, here's a song I'm re-arranging and re-recording. I wrote this 11 years ago and used it to ask my lovely wife to marry me. (Go ahead and puke now.) I recorded the original with only a not-so-great bass, cheap mic, old effects processor, and an old drum machine. Since our 10th anniversary is 3 weeks away, I thought I'd redo the song (and also add a part 2, which I'll start working on next week). Here's what I've got so far: http://www.ipass.net/davesisk/music/withme/WithMe_RoughMix1.mp3 Please give me any comments you have...I'm particularly interested in your thoughts on the musical composition and the arrangement side of it. This is vocal, acoustic drums, bass, acoustic guitar, and electric guitar. I think the bass line in the chorus is fairly interesting...I think there's only two root notes that I hit the whole chorus, but it doesn't *sound like* a harmonically complex bassline, which was my goal. I'm mostly following non-root notes of the implied chords in a way that somewhat mimics the vocal, and then landing on some non-root non-chord tones to add tension (thus my post the other day about this particular topic). I'm pretty happy with the bass line, drums, and the acoustic guitar...I think I'll end up re-tracking the vocal and electric guitar. There's a few iffy pitches in the vocal and the guitar sounds a little rushed now that I've added acoustic drums (just this morning). I don't know if you can tell without the click audible, but the snare hits are WAY behind the beat...like in almost a 32nd note behind. The bass is right on top of the beat (and it sounds *right* with the drums)...the electric guitar is also right on top of the beat or just a little ahead, but it really sounds rushed, so I'll definitely need to retrack that part. It didn't sound that way with the click, but after adding some behind-the-beat drums, it surely does. I recorded the electric guitar completely clean, and I'll "re-amp" it once I figure out what tone will serve the song well (I just don't have that in my head, so I'll have to experiment a bit). There's one too-loud note in the acoustic...I'm otherwise pretty happy with that track, so I'm going to try to fix it with EQ and/or compression. The acoustic is actually the electric-acoustic I snagged off Ebay a while back for $45 or so...it sounds surprisingly good, but the onboard preamp seems to be a little noisy (particularly if I don't pick very lightly), and the intonation is quite a bit off on one string as you go up the neck. However, I cheated a bit...I put a capo at the 7th fret to hold the strings close to the neck (so I'd get less finger noise) and re-tuned so everything was correct at the 12th fret, so it *sounds* perfectly in-tune on the recording. I plan to run the acoustic through a wide stereo delay in the final mix. Nothing is compressed, but will be mildly so in the final mix. I wanted parts of this to be somewhat sparse, but I'm thinking the 2nd verse is a little too sparse. Bringing up the level of the acoustic might fix that, or perhaps I need to add something to that verse (maybe just chords on the electric, or maybe chords on a piano sound or string section sound? I dunno.) So, feedback I'm looking for is: 1) Critique on the composition/arrangement side. 2) 2nd verse...too sparse? 3) Any suggestions for electric guitar sounds in the choruses...right now, I just don't hear anything in my head (maybe clean with a thick jazz-type chorus?) 4) Any other thoughts... Oh...here's the original arrangement from 11 years ago. I have grown a lot as a musician since then! http://www.ipass.net/davesisk/music/withme/WithMe_Original.mp3 Wow...what a seque back to the thread about whether it's worthwhile to learn multiple instruments. Obviously, my opinion is "yes". TIA! Dave Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs. - Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Dave, I think you should go "Acoustic" with this, as the lyrics and vocals are the best part! Slower tempo, softer drums, slower bass lines (upright bass or fretless??), and a rich-sounding acoustic guitar. Perhaps some occasional electric guitar for flavor. Maybe some pads. Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 It streamed nicely off the server. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Force Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Originally posted by forceman: Dave, I think you should go "Acoustic" with this, as the lyrics and vocals are the best part! Slower tempo, softer drums, slower bass lines (upright bass or fretless??), and a rich-sounding acoustic guitar. Perhaps some occasional electric guitar for flavor. Maybe some pads. Dave, check out "Trying to do the right thing" and see what you think. Regards. Steve Force, Durham, North Carolina -------- My Professional Websites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gruuve Posted May 6, 2006 Author Share Posted May 6, 2006 Originally posted by forceman: Dave, I think you should go "Acoustic" with this, as the lyrics and vocals are the best part! Slower tempo, softer drums, slower bass lines (upright bass or fretless??), and a rich-sounding acoustic guitar. Perhaps some occasional electric guitar for flavor. Maybe some pads. Hey Steve, this is a really good idea...in fact, I've written a part #2 to this song, and I was actually thinking of doing it at a slower tempo, acoustic guitar, probably fretless bass, and percussion rather than drum kit. Dave Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs. - Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdepelteau Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 I would add keys and voices. Dub the voices with harmonies. ;^) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picker Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 I hear a possibility for it to be kinda Rolling Stones, you know? Put an acoustic (dreadnaught or jumbo) on the halftime parts(verses?), strumming regularly and bit more prominant in the mix. But on the full speed parts (choruses?), I hear a Keith Richards electric rhythm part ala "Start Me Up","Brown Sugar", etc., with a cranked Fender sound, sorta breaking up but not fuzzy. The bass part sound okay, but it should match the rhythm guitar rather than the other way around, if that makes sense. Cool tune. Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davo-London Posted May 6, 2006 Share Posted May 6, 2006 I liked the bass part. I would tweak up the drums a bit, ditch the electric guitar or redo it with more meat as it sounds weedy. The intro with just acoustic guitar and vocal is too long I would shorten this. Finally it sounds loose. I don't know why as the bass and drums are in time. Maybe it's the vocal - not sure. How about a vocal break. Maybe an instrumental bridge. Blimey, I bet you're glad you asked. Davo "We will make you bob your head whether you want to or not". - David Sisk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gruuve Posted May 7, 2006 Author Share Posted May 7, 2006 I am indeed. If I didn't want the feedback, I wouldn't have asked! You can't have too many ears listening to something. Yeah, the drums and bass are solid, surprisingly the acoustic part is pretty solid (except for that one loud note in each pass...that's the first time I've ever recorded acoustic guitar, so not too bad...I don't even claim to be a guitarist to start with). The electric guitar is a little rushed, and the vocal is a bit off in places...I think that's why it sounds a bit loose...I already planned to redo those two parts anyway though. After listening to it a few times, I think I need to bump up the intensity of the vocal just a bit in the choruses as well. Thanks for all the suggestions folks. Dave Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs. - Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
way2fat Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 I like forcemans idea of going acoustic, and I wouldn't ditch the drums for percussion. www.ethertonswitch.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
way2fat Posted May 7, 2006 Share Posted May 7, 2006 I could hear the first and last measures on the acoustic guitar played on a mandolin. www.ethertonswitch.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gruuve Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 Hey folks: Here's an updated mix...I redid a few things. There's still at least one vocal "blemish" , but I'm hoping I'll be able to punch in on that one part and correct it. I'm pretty happy with the bass, drums, acoustic guitar (I've resigned to just leave that one loud note), and the electric guitar. I think I've found a sound I like for the electric on the chorus...still working getting the 2 bar guitar solo at the end to sound right (it reminds me a bit too much of The Rockford Files at the moment ). In a nutshell, this is better, but still a little ways to go... http://www.ipass.net/davesisk/music/withme/WithMe_RoughMix2.mp3 Btw, the bass on this recording is the Conklin GT-5...bridge pickup, no EQ, mild compression, no other effect...I'm diggin' it's recorded tone! Dave Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs. - Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gruuve Posted May 12, 2006 Author Share Posted May 12, 2006 OK, I've finished (I think) part 2 of the song (except for a few more finishing touches to the mix)...this is an additional verse and chorus that reflects our life now. Slower tempo, different arrangement with just acoustic guitar, electric guitar, and percussion. I thought about maybe adding a short fretless bass solo to the end, but I think I like this the way it is. Lemme know your thoughts. http://www.ipass.net/davesisk/music/withme/WithMe_Part2_RoughMix1.mp3 Back to part 1 above...the short guitar solo I through in at the end is driving me nuts. I'm not sure if it's the sound itself or the note choices, but it reminds me to too much of "The Rockford Files"...every I hear that solo, I see James Gardner's face! I think I'm going to have to either change it, or just drop it entirely. TIA, Dave Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs. - Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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