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I Just Quit My Band *sigh*


Edendude

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After about six weeks of seriously contemplating it, I finally quit my band today. My musical heart and soul just wasn't in it any more.

 

It's been three good years, nearly to the day, and I wanted to bow out gracefully while things still felt like the experience has been a mostly positive one.

 

The beginning of the end for me, was about six months ago, when our killer sax player left the band and moved away. Shortly before that, one of the other founding members left. The combination of losing these two great players changed everything.

 

I stuck it out and helped the band finish it's latest CD project, despite my growing reservations over the past six months.

 

I have offered the contingency of playing any upcoming gigs the band is stuck without a new bass player for, over the next two months.

 

That was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make.

 

Just thought I'd share.

 

:(

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Yep. Breakin' up is hard to do, especially when it is you deciding to go. I think that you are smart to go while still on good terms as well as being willing to help them out til they get a replacement.

 

So, what's your next move? Do you already have something in the works?

Nothing is as it seems but everything is exactly what it is - B. Banzai

 

Life is what happens while you are busy playing in bands.

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Thanks for the opportunity to chat about it, and the moral support, guys.

 

The frontman/guitarist, who was the guy who started the band by first asking me to join, seemed to take it quite well. The latest member to join, the guy who replaced the guitar player who left, seemed the most dissappointed. He said my bass lines are fairly complex and unique, and will be very hard to duplicate (which feels nice to hear, whether true or not). The drummer is someone who I have long since confided with, regarding my dilemma, so he knew it was coming. He is staying with the band on a conditional basis for now. He has come close to leaving the band in the past.

 

I have been asked to join one band recently, but I'm not all that interested in the hardcore rock genre, so I'll be taking a pass on that offer. I do have some other ideas with regard to forming a band down the road, however. And I think I could get the personell I would want together fairly quickly. Lot's of time to think about that, now.

 

There's balance in it all, of course...

 

Sad to see what has been a pretty fulfilling project come to an end for me, but it also feels good to be a 'free agent' with a world of musical possibilities out there to explore.

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Keep that positive attitude man! Several monthes ago I decided to start playing with as many people as I could (slut?) and haven't regretted it yet. I hooked up with a couple guys that aren't interested in gigging but do a lot of recording and are totally into Rush and Primus. Huge fun. Another group is into rock-a-billy and I'm diggin' that too.

Keep those doors open!

"He is to music what Stevie Wonder is to photography." getz76

 

I have nothing nice to say so . . .

 

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I hear you about the tough decision part. I quit my band on Halloween, it was our last gig together as my heart was not in it anymore either. I gave them 6 weeks notice and did 2 gigs before the end. It was tough for sure. Although I have not regretted it yet, I do miss it from time to time. I'm still friends with the guitar player and the singer, it was the drummer that caused me to head out. I was talking to the guitar player the other day and he was talking about the band and even though they have a new bass player, the same issues keep coming up...someone isn't putting in enough effort, someone is not available for practice or gigs...blah, blah, blah. That certainly reinforced my decision to quit. I was also in for around 3 years. I'm jamming with a couple of people now and may try again in the near future.

Take care and keep playing!!

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Sorry to hear that this has happened, and glad that you could get out reasonably well.

 

I don't remember - did you have a stake in any common equipment? Songwriting?

 

Given your genre of late (and my own experience), you could do blues jams for some fun and musical companionship. No rehearsals!!

 

As to your lines, I only listened to one song that you posted. While I wouldn't consider it complex (I'd call what Anthony Jackson did with Wayne Krantz "complex"), it wasn't simple. You've got nice movement within the song and an active part. I could see where it might take a few rounds of auditions to replace you and keep that feel.

 

My only worry is for your truck. With more time on your hands, will you be off-roading that puppy down to it's axles?

 

Tom

www.stoneflyrocks.com

Acoustic Color

 

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt

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Tom...

 

Thanks for the kind words, but I'd be the first to say there is nothing special about my basslines. I think I have good feel and instincts, and I can keep time properly and lock up nice and solidly with the drummer. That's about it. Lots of bass players can do that.

 

As for having a stake in the band's songs and/or gear...

 

No stake in any gear but my own. And no stake in the costs of recording the CD.

 

As for the songs, I did contribute the basslines for several originals which are on the new CD. I've never wanted any special recognition or credit for that. It was a pleasure to help out my friend who wrote the originals for the band. And the CD project was it's own reward. A labor of love, if you will. It's the blues genre afterall, so it's not like there's gonna be any big money comin' back from CD sales. If it breaks even it will be a success as a blues record.

 

As for offroading...

 

I've sold THE BEAST, recently. I just couldn't keep up with the costs of all the parts I kept breakin' while enjoying the local rock crawling scene.

 

:D

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I'm glad that there are no ties. And I'm with you - if some bassline I contributed was a wild success without me, I'd be OK with that.

 

Don't sell yourself short. There may be bassists that can do what you do. But there are plenty that are missing one of the elements that you bring.

 

Sold the beast? What did your off-road friends say? Are you climbing on foot now? I remember some of the photos, and it looked like great country for a challenging hike (maybe a few months of the year).

 

Tom

www.stoneflyrocks.com

Acoustic Color

 

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt

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Thanks again for the words of wisdom, guys.

 

Looks like they are going to be taking advantage of the two months notice I gave them. I officially resigned my position as their bassist yesterday, and there's an email in my inbox this morning, booking me for a gig.

 

Question...

 

Has anyone here served out a period of notice with a band before? Must feel a little odd playing those gigs, yes/no?

 

Maybe like having sex with your ex-wife?

 

:freak:

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You never know, dude. You may be playing with some of your current band members in a different band later. Thats what happened to me. BTW, did I mention the beast in my garage? '75 Dodge W100 Power Wagon with a factory 440.

 

 

www.ethertonswitch.com

 

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I gave my band 6 weeks notice and then played 2 more gigs during that time. It was bittersweet for me. Knowing that the songs I was tired of would not have to be played by me anymore was a great feeling while others I still really liked made me a bit sad. Also knowing that the bond we had as a band would never be the same was strange.

Hang in there and I'm sorry to hear you had to go but it sounds like it was for the right reasons and that you handled it very well.

I ran through the 'quitting' scenario with yelling and screaming and then when it came time, I sat the guys down, told them that I respected them as friends and musicians and that it was just not fun for me anymore.

They did not have much to say except that they were sad to see me go. Partly because of the way we played together and partly because they now had to find a new bass player and that they would need to learn about 80 songs as soon as possible. We played mostly cover tunes and changed them all the time.

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Time heals all wounds, a wise guy once said. How true. I've played with various former bandmates and a few former bands, and the older I get the more fun I have with it.

 

It's about your willingness to get over the past and move forward. Not to say forget about the negative moments, but just to acknowledge they happened and that IN NO WAY should they have any effect on your attitude and direction from this day forward.

 

But I know how you feel because I spoke to my singer yesterday about "where are we going" and had originally intended to give notice, but because we are more than employees, because we are still friends, I've decided to stick it out another year and see what happens. Not that I agree with his current plans, but that I still feel there's a positive ontribution I can make and that we've done well in discussing our issues rather than arguing them.

In this sense, it's fun growing older (and wiser)! :wave:

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Fat...

 

That Power Wagon with the 440 is one lovely beast! 6 inches of lift, 35 inch Swampers, and lockers on both ends and it'd make a sweet rock crawling rig.

 

:thu:

 

Fred...

 

"In this sense, it's fun growing older (and wiser)!"

 

Well-said, bro!

 

As for new projects...

 

I've already had some interest expressed by musicans who I have enjoyed working with in the past. One project in particular (top secret for now) has definitely piqued my interest. So I'm sure you'll hear me flappin' my gums about a new project in the near very near future.

 

Nice to see I'm not the only guy who has quit an established band that's gigging regularly. I know there are dozens of guys who would have killed to have been the bass player in my (former) band. So it made me feel a little guilty on that level, too.

 

But as I'm fond of saying...

 

What was Lyle Lovett thinking, when he married Julia Roberts?! He could do so much better!

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Originally posted by Edendude:

Question...

 

Has anyone here served out a period of notice with a band before? Must feel a little odd playing those gigs, yes/no?

 

Maybe like having sex with your ex-wife?

 

:freak:

I recorded a full-length album with a rock band I played in after I told them I was quitting. It felt a little strange, but the material came out sounding quite good. I think all the tension in the room made for some intense playing.
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6 months ago I made the decision to move to Texas from Illinois to be with my girlfriend and to find a job. Life is good with my girl and I have a great job with a salary around $15K per year higher than I would have had back home.

 

But leaving the band was one of the toughest things about the move. This wasn't the first cross country move I've made, but it was definitely the most difficult. I played with one band here but didn't make the connection with the guys. I have my 2nd audition/practice with another band this week and there seems to be a musical connection, but not a personal one.

 

It is good that you left on good terms, especially if you were such good friends w/ the drummer and frontman. I say keep the connection with them and good things may come in the future.

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NUTT...

 

The reason our fabulous tenor sax player left our band was identical to your reason for leaving and moving... The love of a woman, and a shot at a more prosperous life in another part of our country. Certainly can't blame anyone for following those motivations.

 

His parting was the beginning of the end for me, musically. The band just sounded so empty after he left, to me. And it's not like I didn't try to get the feeling back. I stuck it out for six months after he left.

 

The funny thing was, he was so good, that the four other sax players we approached about joining the band, showed no interest after we played them some of the final mixes from our album. You could literally see the fear in their eyes. So not only was he so good as to be hard to replace, but he was TOO good, to the point of frightening off anyone who was considering filling his shoes.

 

Here's an uncompressed 10 second WAV file of him playing over the drummer and I. This is the kinda shit I WILL miss about this band, bigtime...

 

http://www.nova4x4.com/uploads/121804/shortclip.wav

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Sounds like you had a hell of a horn player.

 

The move has been great for me in some ways, but very difficult in others. I miss playing with the most talented guitar player I'll probably ever play with and a drummer who is one of my best friends. They had it rough for awhile after I was gone but stuck together and are working on a new project. Both of them miss our old band and just hangin out as much as I do though. I just had to move ahead in my life and I'm sure your horn player had to do the same. It was a very, very hard decision, but it was the right one for me.

 

Life is a garden... Dig it.

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Originally posted by Edendude:

 

Question...

 

Has anyone here served out a period of notice with a band before? Must feel a little odd playing those gigs, yes/no?

 

Maybe like having sex with your ex-wife?

 

:freak:

I don't have an ex-wife, so I can't answer that part of the question (and if I did, I don't think Kim would appreciate me researching it!).

But I did play a number of gigs with a band I quit. It wasn't to weird; they played for 4 more months with a sub and then broke up. I've reformed with one of the members in a much more casual situation.

On the other side: with my last band the drummer quit because he was moving, but offered to play out the gigs we had booked. I declined his offer; I was afraid we wouldn't perform up to par, and I didn't want to disappoint the clubs (I gave them ample notice).

"Start listening to music!".

-Jeremy C

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Hey man:

 

Sorry to hear about the down-turn, but guess what...this a GREAT opportunity to head over to Collaboration Corner and contribute to the Face of Friendship project! ;)

 

Best of luck!

Dave

Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs.

- Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006

 

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