If you're an old fart and want to keep your job - OT

[Eric Iverson]

I just read this on the Net, and present it as a cautionary tale:

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"He [Ravi Shankar] could be a man of baffling contradictions, whose outward appearance of humility and spirituality could disguise a certain hauteur. Reflecting fondly on his faithful and long-serving tabla-player, Alla Rakha, who accompanied him for 27 years, Shankar once observed that he was finally obliged to dispense with his services; not because Rakha was rather fond of a drink or two, not even because of his strange obsession with Bonanza and Hawaii Five-O, but because I needed someone younger, not only as an accompanist but to carry all my shoulder bags.

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Eric here: Reminding of a church I used to play at. There was a young lady just starting on the violin who wanted to play with the band.

She'd come to me and say, "Sir... sir.... will you please let me carry your bags." Sometimes I'd actually LET her, though I didn't really need that from her. She also did this with our sax and bass playing bandleader.

What I DID need from her was to learn to play the freakin' violin something remotely resembling IN TUNE. I also used to give her a ride to church, since I only lived a couple of blocks from her. She was not by nature an early riser, and I'd ring her doorbell and might have to wait a half hour or more for her to actually deign to come down and get in the car. Before long I told her, "I'll wait fifteen minutes tops, and then you'll have to find another way to get there." Nowadays I'm less patient '5 minutes tops.....' Or 'call me when you're ready and be downstairs waiting when I get there - bright eyed and bushy tailed.'

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I will let you guys draw your own moral (if any) from these stories. Or not, LOL.

PS Any of you guys have any interesting mentoring experiences?

[Caevan O’Shite]

I once offered to help Tommy Tedesco carry some of his guitars in their cases, to which he replied with a smile and a twinkle in his eye- "Naaa, thanks, though! I've got to keep my girlish figure... "

 

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__________________ http://jasobrecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Tommy-Tedesco-photo-by-Jon-Sievert.jpg

 

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[Winston Psmith]

I put all my gear on a rolling cart, and I don't need anyone to carry anything for me.

[Larryz]

@ Eric: That would have to be one good look'en gal for me to let her play the out of tune violin in my band on stage and wait 30 minutes at her door just to give her a ride to church...I guess if I had a lot of equipment to move in, it would be OK if I could get her to turn her volume down really low LOL!

 

@ Winston: +1 on shagging my own equipment using a hand truck/dollie. I also keep the weight down on amps, speakers, etc., to 35lbs or so...

[whitefang]

Reminding of a church I used to play at.

 

I'm guessing it was the "Church of The Prepositional End"?

 

Did the young lady ever make a claim in wanting to become a member of the band?

 

Did the other band members also give her as many rides and spend an equal amount of time with her?

 

Can you otherwise think of any particular reason she zeroed in on YOU?

 

Yeah, when you're the kind of guy who doesn't want to coldly blow people off, that situation can be rather uncomfortable. I had a friend, a blind guy, who WAS a good friend, and I really didn't mind helping him out whenever possible, but it got clear after a time, after helping him out with a few matters( mostly rides, too) that he was trying to take advantage of my good nature and each request for assistance from him was for things that got more physically arduous, and more and more inconvienient for me time-wise. It was like(and I'm experiencing it with a family member now) the more help you gave him, the more help he seemed to need. I finally just kept telling him my time was tied up(which in some cases was a lie) and eventually the calls slacked off. But I still felt kind of bad about it.

Whitefang

[Eric Iverson]

To Whitefang, in answer to your questions:

This particular church was into giving young people a chance to do music, and didn't care much about professionalism. But they DID get some very talented people to sing and play there.

It wasn't officially a "band" per se with membership. People would come in and out. I finally had to quit, because chaos reigned supreme and some of the junior pastors were on a power trip. Nice people in general, though. I have no ill feelings.

I only gave the girl rides because she lived a block away from me, and I was going to be at the church playing anyway, so why not help her out? I also gave rides home to other people that lived close by - not to people living in the next state, LOL.

She didn't "zero in on me" more so than other people, and didn't last long with the violin, when she realized it was going to take a lot of practice. She was still friends with everyone, though.

You are right, it CAN be uncomfortable helping people out, and sometimes the creative use of "no can do" is essential, especially with leeches. By now I know who they are and avoid them, and have been known to tell people, "look, I'm not your buddy and am not going to give you money to buy crack with" and such. Lazy mother##($*)......

I have a homeless friend that I sometimes buy coffee for, and I receive his mail (he can't get a PO box for lack of ID) and bring it to work and give it to him. Things that:

1) Are not particularly difficult or inconvenient;

2) I don't MIND doing.

I DID have to train him not to come up to the office where I work, but to have the security guard call me, and that I wasn't going to be lending him tons of money he can't repay, and that if I was busy at work I was NOT going to come down, etc. Oh, and don't come to my APARTMENT ever, because my wife doesn't want him around.

In other words, I don't put up with any nonsense, and damn sure don't intend to let his friendship cause me problems with my job or my wife.

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But back to music and mentoring - I LIKE kids and enjoy helping them get started. Assuming they:

1) Actually want to learn to play and are willing to practice

2) Respect me - not asking anyone to brown nose me, but me teaching them is something they should appreciate.

I would have given anything at the age of 16 to play regularly in a band with experienced, knowledge musicians. I had older friends who'd jam with me, and I took lessons from a couple of them, but we never played on stage together.

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So back to the general audience: do any of you have any memorable mentoring experiences? As mentor or mentee (if that's a word).

 

[d halfnote]

Not sure how this helps old farts keep employment...[?].

Seems more like advice to youngsters (& youngsterettes) on how to get employment with an old fart.

 

 

[Eric Iverson]

Point taken.

[whitefang]

Chaos is right!

 

Sounds more like musicians having a jam session at the end of service....

 

"We'll all join in on a hymn sing as soon as the musicians find one they either all know or can agree on".

 

Different church indeed!

Whitefang

[Eric Iverson]

Actually, at that particular church, it was never a jam session, though we would sometimes we play lead lines DURING the song - nothing too extended.

At the church I currently attend, they DO sometimes jam after the service, and occasionally get reprimanded for it.... One time I came up to the bandleader and asked him if they were the "One Chord Wonders" after they did a James Brown type thing. But it's NOT chaos there; yes, certain people don't come in to play every Sunday, but they always get the job done during the service.