Wedding gig - Dinner music

[Paul K]

Kind of off topic but related, but the free dinner thing is often kind of weird. If it's a buffet thing, it can be quick, easy, delicious, and nutritious. "I'm in the band, mind if I cut the line????" But if it's a sit-down dinner, things often get weird. The kitchen staff often doesn't know what to do with the musicians, where to put them, what to feed them, and when to feed them. So you're real busy playing a hurry-up-and-wait thing trying to eat before you've got to play, while the staff pays full attention to the "paying" customers. And sometimes you get the damn "employee dinner." And I hate overcooked cold pasta. As such, I prefer to negotiate for more money, but without dinner. But I'm usually not involved in that part of the process.

[DJR_Bos]

Never had a problem on that. Table in the back room, *plop* down go the plates and a quick "Please don't hesitate not to bother us any further" That's it.

 

I would certainly never approach the buffet while guests are there.

 

We're not guests and we would never expect to be treated like that. At the same time, well if it's a long affair, ya gotta eat some time. It's often easier, and no worse, to take what they offer instead making a stop at Arby's.

 

There are rules for this stuff. Sometimes they even work.

 

>> I hate overcooked cold pasta

 

Sigh, yeah. Ditto. I'm an effing Professional, I rise above it

[jeremy c]

Sometimes we get to eat the same food as the guests. Sometimes we are given food that we refer to as bandwiches.

Sometimes we get a table in the room with them, some times we are given a table somewhere else.

 

We always get fed and it is in the contract.

 

For instance, if I am going to play at a wedding from 7 to 11 (like this weekend), I will leave the house at around 4 and get home at around 1. When and where am I supposed to eat if the client doesn't provide food?

 

 

[Paul K]

No doubt. Man's gotta eat. I just find that usually I wish that my paycheck was fatter combined with the food being my own responsibility, instead of dealing with what turns out to be a circus four times out of five. Sometimes just getting a cup of coffee is like pulling teeth. (Yet that fifth time, we're treated like royalty.....Go figure.)

 

On the buffet thing, I do ask the person who appears to be in charge what to do before cutting the line. But I've also had gigs where the band is last in line at the buffet, then have to start playing ten minutes before it's our turn at the feed trough. I know that no one is making me take the free meal, but damn it Jim, it's not free. I'm working for it, and feel like a dolt if I've got to work for the meal but then don't take advantage of it. I'd rather have the money and deal with the meal myself.

 

Wow, J.C. Long commutes where you live????

[jeremy c]

I play all over the S.F. bay area. That's a pretty big area, with pretty bad traffic.

 

Sometimes it will take me over an hour to get to downtown S.F. from my house which is about 12 miles away and almost all freeway to get there.

 

I might play almost anywhere on this map which covers an area about 120 miles from north to south and 60 miles from east to west. I live just north of Oakland close to highway 80. The map lists lots of towns in the wine country (north of Napa) and I play there all the time.

http://www.inetours.com/images/Maps/Bay_Area_Map.gif

[jar546]

It sounds like they picked a rock band to play an easy listening engagement..

 

square peg, round hole..

unless you want to learn a whole set just for this gig, i'd turn it down..

 

I agree with this.

 

If I paid for a band and they played a CD when I wanted them to play dinner background music I might be a little upset.

 

Unless you have all of the songs you need worked out by then it may work but then they want "dance music". Again, square peg, round hole.

 

IMHO

[TimR]

We're starting to drift into the difference between being in a band for fun, playing tunes you like playing and would listen to at home, and being in a band to earn money, playing tunes you would never listen to at home.

 

I have a real hard time getting our band to play Beatles, Elvis, Chuck Berry etc. "Its music for 'old' people, I'm not playing that." But these are tunes we can all busk from chord charts and smile from ear to ear while playing. They are all tunes that go down well at golf clubs, dinner and dances and weddings. My main mission this year is to get the band to busk as many of these type of tunes as possible so when we walk into a gig that the agent has mis-sold, we are not out of our depth.

 

Sure it's nice to arrange and rehearse tunes to a very polished standard but sometimes it's amazing how easy it is to get away with a four chord wonder that everybody knows.

 

Better to be a regular polygon shaped peg in a regular polygon shaped hole.

[TimR]

The food aspect is interesting though. We've had everything. Own room with own buffet. Join in with the guests at the buffet. Own table with wine, which was really nice, but weird. Sandwiches at the bar. Or drummer does a run to McDonalds.

 

When we play a club or pub it's soft drinks are free and a kebab on the way home.

 

[moot]

We always negotiate food and drink. Up here, it's a lot more informal and a lot less pretensious. I have never played a wedding up here where I was treated as "the help" or anything less than a part of the crowd. I am playing one in 3 weeks and it is a seafood buffet!!

[Nicklab]

I play all over the S.F. bay area. That's a pretty big area, with pretty bad traffic.

 

Sometimes it will take me over an hour to get to downtown S.F. from my house which is about 12 miles away and almost all freeway to get there.

 

I might play almost anywhere on this map which covers an area about 120 miles from north to south and 60 miles from east to west. I live just north of Oakland close to highway 80. The map lists lots of towns in the wine country (north of Napa) and I play there all the time.

http://www.inetours.com/images/Maps/Bay_Area_Map.gif

 

Jeremy, you're playing gigs in Napa? Oh, you lucky bastard!

[jeremy c]

Lots of gigs: Napa, Glen Ellen, Kenwood, Sonoma, Yountville, Rutherford, St. Helena. Too many to count.

 

They usually give us wine and dinner. Sometimes all we play are dinner sets. We get paid well and we don't mind at all.

 

In fact, I just got home. Good players, a nice crowd. Steak and salmon for dinner. "have some more wedding cake."

[Phil W]

A wedding in Napa must be pretty nice.

 

I got married in San Francisco but we didn't hire a band.

[Eric VB]

Ross, haven't you ever been a guest at someone else's wedding? Try to use these experiences as a starting point. (I've lost count of how many weddings I've attended as a guest; we went to over a dozen in just one summer!)

 

You're not doing the actual wedding, right? One less thing to worry about. (I played in a trio for a friend's outdoor wedding once. Nothing like playing under a tent in questionable weather with a long extension cord run over damp grass. )

 

As has already been said, the reception usually starts with some sort of "mingling" or "cocktail hour". Sometimes there's a "classical" string quartet playing softly, or maybe solo instrumental piano. Most of the time, though, there's just the DJ trying to set up his gear all by himself.

 

The happy couple and the rest of the wedding party arrives. You get to introduce each one as they enter. Maybe you introduce family members, too. Then pass off the (wireless) mike to whomever is blessing the food.

 

"Dinner hour" starts. Cue the Kenny G, Mr. DJ, and don't forget "Satin Doll". It's almost always soft instrumental jazz standards and smooth jazz. (For the reasons already cited earlier.) [More on this in the next post.]

 

Most every wedding I've been to has been served (no buffet line). The hired photographer, videographer, DJ, and whoever else get seated together at the table furthest from the head table (where the bride and groom are). If the DJ doesn't have a dinner music mix prepared ahead of time he has to get up during dinner to attend to the music. (HINT: if you're going to play CDs/mp3player for dinner music, prepare a mix ahead of time!)

 

You'll have to get up to introduce the toasts, announce the cutting of the cake, etc. Whatever they need. (This should all be planned out ahead of time, preferably when drawing up the contract.) You're pretty much the Master of Ceremonies.

 

When dinner is over it's time to start the party!

 

Usually starts with bride & groom's first dance, to a song they have chosen ahead of time. Then re-introduce the wedding party and parents, one couple at a time, and they join the newlyweds on the dance floor. Then the father/daughter and mother/son dance. If songs are not chosen ahead of time, you'll have to pick appropriate music.

 

Finally the dance floor is open to all guests!

 

Time to strike up the Benny Goodman! At least give the grandparents a choice before they leave early. Maybe something people can waltz to, or rumba, or fox trot, or salsa, or cha-cha-cha. (You do watch Dancing with the Stars, right?) Then work up through the decades from there. Everybody loves to do the twist again.

 

Then you're pretty much up to your comfort zone of classic rock, starting from the '60s.

 

If you don't already have some down, you may want to add some current dance music, too.

 

Definitely have in your contract your overtime clause. I've been at a wedding where a collection was made to pay the DJ an extra $100 or whatever so he would play music for another half hour. This was in his contract. It happens. You don't want to be negotiating at the end of the night!

 

The important message is this: most wedding bands are very versatile in the types of music they play. Secondly, every song you play during the dance portion of the night has to be a dance song. Otherwise you lose out to the DJ who can easily add songs to his play list. (Not to mention he's a lot less expensive to hire, too.)

 

Now don't freak out! The betrothed asked you to be their wedding band. Maybe they don't want all that versatility.

 

I've been to a wedding where the couple hired a lounge lizard (solo piano) to play their afternoon reception. He basically just did the same material he played in the clubs ... because that is what the couple wanted.

 

You need to set up another meeting with them and go over all of the details. If they really just want you to play one hour of music for dinner and three hours of dance music (non-stop?) from your current set list, then that's where you are right now. Otherwise, you may have a lot of work cut out for you over the next couple of months.

 

Now, when I was married many moons ago, I think the least expensive wedding bands started just under a grand. They were also the least versatile and had the fewest musicians. The larger groups that could play anything from polkas to punk came in $1500 to two grand, IIRC. (Due to budget limitations we went with a DJ duo that was very energetic and encouraged guests to dance by leading certain group dances, etc. They also did a great job with the announcements and stuff; you could tell it wasn't their first time.)

[Eric VB]

As far as dinner music, let me tell you about a gig I recently booked.

 

It was a charity event (i.e. unpaid). Earlier I had met a young singer/songwriter whom I felt was a good match for the event and she indeed wanted to do it. Long story short I ended up calling on my band mates -- as their solo singer/songwriter selves -- to honor the booking. One band member I called in just days before the show!

 

It was a small coffee shop. They were very clear that they didn't want any loud music. They pretty much wanted background music so their guests could mingle and chat.

 

We all did some of our own solo material, by ourselves. But we also did some covers as a group.

 

At the end of the gig we were struggling for a song to close out with and decided to do "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" from our rock band set list.

 

Mind you we were toning everything down all night, but "Hit Me" took the cake! Two acoustic guitars (I didn't bring a bass) along with vocals through a small PA that was barely on. So we were basically "unplugged". We just took the intensity way down and slowed the tempo a bit. It almost turned into a ballad!

 

And it worked.

 

[Much, much good will was generated and my band mate's CDs sold very well. I walked away with a couple of free bottles of wine!]

[Paul K]

 

And it worked.

 

[

 

"I love it when a plan comes together."

Col. John "Hannibal" Smith

 

Wedding related. When my wife and I got married, instead of a sit-down dinner, we had three stations that served hor'derves (Damn..spell check is not helping on this one...) that rotated throughout the night. We had a table for the parents and old people, a table for us, best man, and maid of honor. The rest were strategically not enough chairs, but a whole bunch of High-boy tables. No assigned seats, but plenty of food and booze. Instead of camping out at their assigned table, the guests where forced to mingle with the whole wedding party. There were a series of French doors that separated the dance floor (loud area) from the eating/hanging out area (not so loud area). It worked like a charm. Everybody met everybody, everybody danced with everybody. We still get kind comments on how much fun people had at our wedding. And it cost way less than a sit down dinner, and we could fit more guests comfortable in a smaller space with none of those big damn round tables. No garter thing, no cake in the face. Only down side was that the wait staff was too efficient at taking away peoples' drinks.