You know you're too old to play gigs when:
1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan
than your amp
2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round
of golf.
3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.
4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub
5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most
of your playlist
6. Instead of fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie
7. You lost the directions to the gig
8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings
9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage
10. You feel like hell before the gig even starts.
11. The waitress is your daughter
12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers
13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats
14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar
case
15. You refuse to play without earplugs
16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30
17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig
18. Your gig stool has a back
19. You're related to at least one member in the band
20. You don't let any one sit in
21. You need a nap before the gig
22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lay down
24. You prefer a music stand with a light
25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon
26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever.
27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or cool
factor.
28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the bar 'cause they're
younger than your daughter.
29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location
30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs
in 7 days ... *and* could physically do it.
