ADino

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL. THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.' THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!' 'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? 'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.' HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.' ' A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?' 'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW., TAKIN MY TEETH WITH HER.'

THE BOTTLE OF WINE Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road . As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at EVERYTHING she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. "What's in the bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, She said: "Good trade"...

Wow, so many cats here...what no accordian players? Just kidding...I recently found the board, great place, lottsa nice people. I hate to do this, but mabey I should. Ok, here goes.. Armand DiGenova 56, Presently NE Ohio.. Freelance Piano/Synths/composer/gigs/sessions/BMI. Was doing music for A/V productions, commercials,BG, closed that, built DAW past 6 months. Studio cost was killen me. arms-armand robert music service. Some artists Ive worked with, Jazz organist Richard Groove Holmnes, Larry Coreyell, Emily Rembler, Mary Wells, Roger Humpheys RH Factor, Kenny Blake, Hermans Hermits, Vogues, Leon Cook, Gene Ludwig, Tommy Sala of Sala Brothers, too many to list, head hurts. Note, some of these great artists are no longer with us, they are all great artists and my time with them, short or long was truely a gift for me. Ive learned something from all of them. Although Coryell always called me Vinnie, dont think he ever knew my name. Roland RD700SX/Roland FP3/Ensoniq ASR10/ JV2080/Various moniters/Mac 2.5 dual/RME FF800/ LogicPro 7.2/Dynaudios/Ivory/Miroslav and a few others. Also a few Roland JV recorders around here somewhere. Herbie Hancock/Kenny Kirkland, really great player/McCoy/Joey Calderaso/All Miles/Wynton/Tete Montilou/Flora Purim/Chick of course/I'll stop here, as there really are too many to list. Can I throw a shameless plug in here? Please checkout, www.garageband.com The Kellys. Its my sons group, he's the guitarist, that groups 1st CD, and they are doing well, LP's in some Best Buys, did CeeBeeJeebees b4 they closed shop, got some MTV stuff coming up. Thanks. Thank you all for allowing me to feel welcome. Nice place, great people, and really some of the best musician jokes Ive ever read. A. Tip# 213: Never, under any circumstances, give the drummers girlfriend a ride home after the gig.