Gator Wing Posted September 14, 2001 Share Posted September 14, 2001 OK, I saw these on the net. It made me laugh; hope everyone appreciates the humor. What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They have a machine to do it for them. How do you know when a drummer is at your door? The knocking speeds up. Why are band intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have to retrain the drummers. Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car? It took him two hours to get the drummer out! There are two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt.Hepworth Posted September 15, 2001 Share Posted September 15, 2001 This one is still my favourite. Q: Why do guitarists keep drumsticks on the dashboard? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Matt No clever saying. No matter how good something is, there will always be someone blasting away on a forum somewhere about how much they hate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
not coaster MODERATOR Posted September 16, 2001 Share Posted September 16, 2001 Say "Drummer Humor" 6,000 times really fast. "Drama Huma" is where I always end up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skip_dup1 Posted September 16, 2001 Share Posted September 16, 2001 you always end up in Brooklyn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SFOracle Posted October 12, 2001 Share Posted October 12, 2001 This is actually true - playing at an outdoor music festival in Vancouver, the sponsor wanted to remind the band to keep the sound pressure levels down after 10PM so the following announcement was made: "would all of the musicians and the drummer please report back stage immediately ...." Don. Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity. Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong: James Bryce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjunkie Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, "I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar, I'm such a good salesman." The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the guys." "Ok," says the first, "you're on." The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to them and tells the first salesman, "Here, this one." This first subject is dressed in a three-piece suit and is carrying Wall Street Week. The salesman asks him, "What's your IQ?" "190." So they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean geometry. "Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but you still have two to go." He looks around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The salesman asks him "What's you're IQ?" "About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball, cars, and the various women in the bar. "Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's still one to go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a really scummy looking guy in a muscle shirt and shorts. The salesman asks him "What's your IQ?" "About 60." "What kind of sticks do you use?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfjunkie Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 fair play: Q - What do you throw a drowning guitarist? A - His amplifier. Q - What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? A - Counterpoint. Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch? A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes. Q - What do you say to a guitar player in a 3-piece suit? A - "Will the defendant please rise ..." Q - What would a guitarist do if he won a million dollars? A - Continue to play gigs until the money ran out. Q - How can you tell if an electric guitar is out of tune? A - The strings are vibrating. Q - How do you make an electric guitar sound like an acoustic guitar? A - Sit in back and don't play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fantasticsound Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 Time out! Search for jokes on MPER. You'll find more than you can remember! ------------------ Neil Reality: A few moments of lucidity surrounded by insanity. It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman Soundclick fntstcsnd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtr Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 More standards - Q. How can you tell when the drum riser is level? A. Drool runs out of BOTH sides of the drummers mouth. Q. How do you get the drummer off your front porch? A. Pay for the pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted October 13, 2001 Share Posted October 13, 2001 I was going to try to find some Gator humor...but, this Miami game is depressing. http://events.yahoo.com/img/sports/ncaa/gifs/floridastate.gif "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Posted October 15, 2001 Share Posted October 15, 2001 Okay, equal time: Q: What do you call a guitarist who has just broken up with his girlfriend? A: Homeless. A lady's son needs a new brain so she's browsing the used brain store. She finds a college professor brain for $20.00. An engineer's brain for $30.00 and a drummer's brain for $5000.00. She asks the salesman; "Why on earth are these brains inexpensive but the drummer's brain costs $5000.00?! "Why, it's very simple," the salesman replies, "The drummer's brain has never been used." -David http://www.garageband.com/artist/MichaelangelosMuse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gator Wing Posted October 17, 2001 Author Share Posted October 17, 2001 Originally posted by Tedster: I was going to try to find some Gator humor...but, this Miami game is depressing. http://events.yahoo.com/img/sports/ncaa/gifs/floridastate.gif I think the Gators were the joke last weekend!! http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif There are two theories about arguing with a woman. Neither one works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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