Feeling lousy about my writing ability -- looking for a reality check

[Wiggum]

Hey all,

 

I've been playing synths off and on for about 12 years, and lately I've been questioning my writing abilities.

 

My piano training was unusual. Rather than learning to read music and progressively play more difficult pieces (traditional classical training), I had a teacher who taught me music theory, jazz harmony, and compositional skills. It went a little something like this...

 

1) Lesson one: "Go figure out all the major scales. Come back next week."

 

2) Lesson two: "Here are the primary jazz chords. Come back next week with all of them memorized."

 

3) Lesson three: "These are called modes and pentatonics. See you Monday..."

 

I succeeded in learning the basics, and as lessons progressed, he taught me improvisation, basic ear training, and coached me on writing my first compositions. We didn't spend much time with proper technique or dynamics (other than using what is most comfortable), and I couldn't read a lick of music.

 

The result? I was one of the few 14 year olds with a demo tape (albeit cheesy sequenced music). The result today? I find myself playing the same comfortable patterns, and my music is the result of experimentation, rather than inspiration.

 

I'm no Borah Bergman, but when it comes to playing, I tend to play music that feels good to my hands (Borah once theorized that composition was based primarily on hand movements). My melodies are unfortunately dictated by by what my fingers feel like doing, rather than what makes the most sense to a given piece of music.

 

What is the point of this post? I am trying to determine how some other musicians write music. Is it by having an idea in their head, and then transforming this idea into reality? Or does it come from doodling at the keyboard, and saying, "hey, that sounded good. I wonder what would happen if I try this?" I've heard some writers say that "the music just came through me" (as if channeled), but I feel like I am just playing a game of random numbers. Have I written some music that I am proud of? Sure. Did it happen because of an idea in my head? Hell no. I discovered progressions and melodies that I liked by experimentation. As a result, I don't feel like an artist (or someone who crafts their work from mental inspiration). I feel like someone who "winged" it and got lucky a few times.

 

Many of my progressions come from devices (a pseudo random generator of chord progressions using scales, words, and the alphabet -- too detailed to describe here). Again, I feel like an engineer rather than an artist.

 

I also tend to find myself playing in the same old keys. If I had a nickel for every time I improvised in Eb, Ab, and Bb, I wouldn't be writing this. The fingering is most comfortable to me, and I just "see" things better in those keys.

 

Bottom line: I need a new approach. Something that is going to create songs that SOUND good, rather than just FEEL good. I need to rely on my ears rather than my fingers, and challenge myself when I feel I am taking the easy way out. I also need to spend more time at this. It's just a hobby (thank God I don't have to rely on my skills for a living), but I want to create something meaningful.

 

Can anyone else offer anything? Is this unusual, or are many musicians just experienced experimenters?

 

Best wishes,

 

Wiggum

[Guest]

Hey Wiggum :

I can definitely relate to what your feeling. Yes, it is common that we can fall into the same patterns and let our fingers do the walkin' rather than

let inspiration lead us into new discoveries.

Maybe you can try writing with a partner(s).What kind of music do you write?

What music inspires you out there today ? Have you tried working in a band ?

I have my degree from University in performance piano and I've played in rock/pop bands and I'm now more inspired by alot of "new country" music/players out there. I don't feel as inspired by what I'm hearing out there today as I used to and writing is ALOT of WORK. There is that moment of inspiration for me but after that is alot of sweat. Revisions after revisions. Re-write after re-write and having some freinds to co-write with is alot of fun and gives new insights/angles that I wouldn't have thought of. Everyone that I've ever worked with always had huge binders full of lyrics/revisions and I don't how many times I've done and re-done demo's of songs - to the point where I can hardly stand it anymore-not just my songs but since I have a recording studio, other peoples songs as well. Maybe all of our efforts and work will lead to some moments of true inspiration in the future.

Good Luck

[Guest]

Check out a thread that dB started a while back.

 

I think it was called : 'How do you write?'

 

Rod

[joegerardi]

I remeber in college, when we were taking composition, the prof was telling us how to write music. He and I were very contentious about these following ideas, but in the spirit of the 70's, I was allowed to voice them and debate them freely with him. I always thank him for that.

 

The prevailing attitude at the time was that you set up the key and meter, enter in the tones and note lengths you want on the dominant and sub-dominant beats, continue to do this, including mutations and/or modulations, then go back and simply fill in passing tones, using different note lengths to make it interesting. Voila! There's your composition for anything. Personally, I thought it an incrediby sterile and formulaic way to write music. I felt it lacked soul, and was simply a rote method of churning out drivel.

 

I was always more the type to get an idea, and develop it by hammering it out on a piano. Always a piano, because if the idea were good, it would sound great on anything, rather than being instrument-specific.

 

This message has been edited by joegerardi on 03-22-2001 at 09:14 AM

[dansouth]

There's no right or wrong way to compose, but if you're not satisfied with the results, you need to try some DIFFERENT ways. Force yourself out of your comfort zone - not all the time, but from time to time.

 

There are any number of things you can try, but here are a few that have worked for me. Do them while you're in a quiet room (or a tranquil exterior location). It's important to be AWAY FROM your instrument, since familiar hand movements can put you into a rut.

 

(1) Imagine walking into a club and hearing some new, unknown group whose music blows you away. Your mouth drops open. You think to yourself, "This is awesome! I wish I could write something like this." What does this music sound like? Now, you really CAN write something like this.

 

(2) Same as number one, but imagine that you hear the music on the radio as you're dialing around in your car, or on MP3, or it's on a CD that someone gave you for your birthday.

 

(3) Think about a song or piece that you want to write, but focus on the finale, the last 20 seconds. Concentrate on the feeling you want to leave with the audience. When you get that in your head, work it out on paper or on your instrument and work backward toward the beginning of the piece.

 

(4) Sit in a quiet place and force yourself to NOT thing about music at all. No notes, no rhythms, no sounds. Just silence. Think about emotions, or at least one emotion in particular. Imagine yourself in an emotional situation, but hold the music in your head back until you can't control it any longer. At some point, it's going to sweep into your head like a river and take you along for the ride. Now, go write some of it down.

 

(5) When you're trying to compose - in a quiet room or on your instrument - try to avoid thinking about notes as much as possible. The single biggest bottleneck in composing, improvising, or playing is preoccupation with individual notes. Consider these thoughts -

 

- "Oops! I'm meant to play F#!"

- "Does Db work with this chord?"

- "What's the thirteenth of the G7 chord?"

 

This stuff grinds your creativity to a halt. Defer thinking about notes until the last possible moment. Trust that you'll find the right notes when you need them. Instead, thing about primal things, things you can feel rather than analyze. Concentrate on rhythm, on the general emotion implied by chord changes (but not the chords themselves). Think about melody as something that goes up and down, but don't try to pin down the precise notes just yet. Think about the timbre of the instruments that you hear. Listen to the music as a child might. Just experience the underlying concepts of rhythm and sound. Let the feeling move you and carry you away for a while. Think about particulars only after you get a clear picture of the composition in your head and heart.

 

(6) If you're writing songs, try to come up with a phrase that people would love to say or love to sing along with. Great lines inspire great songs. Consider these hooks from hit songs.

 

- Take this job and shove it...

- I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day.

- I, I will survive...

- Ooh, Baby, that's-a what I like!

- These boots were made for walkin'.

 

A good line will imply a tempo and a melodic structure, perhaps even the accompanying harmony and arrangement. Work backward from there.

 

(7) Ignore your muse. Pay attention to something other than music. She'll eventually show up wondering where you've been, and she'll probably bring some music with her. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/smile.gif

 

(8) Come up with your own ideas to inspire creativity.

[marino]

Wiggum,

here are a few musical tips that come to mind:

 

-Learn to transpose on the keyboard (no writing down). Melodies first, than simple complete pieces, then more complex ones with many chords. This should help refresh your view of the keys.

 

-Take some composition technique that you never fully explored (say, quartal harmony, serial music, gamelan, impressionism, techno trance, romantic waltz, abstract noise, reggae) and, well, fully explore it. Take what inspires you and see what it can add to your vocabulary of knowledge.

 

-Buy a walkman and take it with you everywhere; when you hear a melody in your head, sing it into it! Later, try to remember the original mood of the melody, and to find the "right" chords, by trial and error.

 

-Connect all the above dots by learning to play what's in your head, and to recognize by ear what's played by others. This is the most rewarding and magical musical gift IMO.

 

A final thought: I find you were lucky to have a teacher that made you learn how music is put together from the beginning. Maybe not so lucky because he should have taught you reading and technique too. I could guess that your "finger pattern" limitation in writing is a result of your limited technique. A little work on keyboard technique, including transposing exercises, could be of help. And of course, reading lots of music not only will improve your reading skills, but also you'll know more music from the inside, and be inspired by it.

 

No good music is all "feel" or all "technique" IMHO. They both have to be there in order for any music to work. I did read somewhere that music is the ONLY human activity in which we use both sides of our brain simultaneously, and more or less in a 50/50 ratio. I "feel" this is absolutely true!

 

Once again, sorry for my English

 

marino

[Tusker]

I'd like to suggest that you write the next song away from the keyboard. record the melody from your voice, theorize what the chords might be, if you have to, test 'em out on an acoustic guitar. Get the song as complete as possible before you get to the keyboard. If a keyboard part figures prominently in the song, work it out in your head and record it before doing any editing of the song at your keyboard. Try to like the song you came up with.

 

Think of it as getting to know another part of yourself. (There are lots of parts. You are a complex person.) Remember that the primary way you learned music was not by playing it, but by listening to it. This process will likely connect you with that (larger) person.

 

Such constraints (no piano) often lead to breakthroughs. Even if the first song is not a hit, I assure you it will give you a bunch of ideas. It will build your confidence as a songwriter.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Jerry

 

------------------

www.tuskerfort.com

[Wiggum]

All,

 

First let me say thanks to all those who replied. I read all of the suggestions, and I likewise read Dave Bryce's thread "How do you write?"

 

Some of the ideas are ingenious, but there are a few constraints and clarifications I would like to make:

 

1) My primary limitation is the lack of an "inner ear". I can hear various compositions and ideas in my head, but I have very limited success with translating them to the keyboard. I almost wonder if I am hearing microtones in my head, because I can seldom find the notes to match the inner idea. The ideas don't sound like microtonal music per se (I think of middle eastern and world music when I hear the term "microtonal"), but when you listen to a guitarist or other stringed instrumentalist, they are often hitting intervals through bending and expression that you may not be able to achieve with a piano. Worse yet, when I do sit down at the keyboard, the keys I press (while trying to figure out the melody in my head)tend to overpower the original idea, and then its gone.

 

2) I have no control over my voice. I'll say that again. I have NO control over my voice. My teacher and I worked on relative pitch for a few weeks, and I could recognize intervals, but the only way I could match the tone with my voice was to start low and progressively raise the pitch until I found it (think of an upward pitch envelope with your voice). So when I do have ideas in my head, my voice is of no value in getting them to tape. I'm not sure if singing is something you can learn (or at least improve upon). Cindy Crawford took voice lessons for a late 80's Revlon commercial with Little Richard, but the results were not much better than before ( http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/wink.gif). So I am left with trying to match notes in my head that I can't reproduce with any instrument.

 

3) I can transpose quite well (on the fly), but it still doesn't reduce my preference for Ab, Eb, and Bb. The fingering just feels best, and I can "see" patterns better. You would think C would be the default (given the all white keys), but I just have a thing for the flatted keys. Maybe I need to force myself into D, E, or G for awhile (or any other alternate key).

 

4) My reading ability is very limited. I once played trumpet in middle school, so I know it's not a physical limitation, but I have never put forth the effort to learn piano sight reading. I read Dave Stewart's wonderful book ("The Musician's Guide to Reading and Writing Music"), and that helped to a degree, but I still don't practice it enough. I can read through "Keyboard" and identify the notes, but I have no ability to read or write rythym. I also have to work through the notes -- it's not automatic yet. I occassionally jot down ideas on manuscript paper, but I seldom go back and read them.

 

5) I prefer to work on my own. I have collaborated with my best friend on occassion (bass player), but I don't really know any other musicians, particularly with the same writing goals and musical interests. I realize that my compositions need other instruments (100% keyboard music tends to sound like a synth demo), but I get frustrated with people. I wish I could take the instrument out of their hands and do it myself, but I don't have the skills.

 

In general, I try to write music that borders on prog rock and electronic jazz, and all of my compositions are instrumental. I also have gotten into techno, which requires a totally different mindset. I used to believe that all compositions MUST translate to the piano, but I no longer feel that is true. You can have a single note with a great low pass filter sweep, and it might be the perfect compliment to a piece of music. But it's not something you can recreate on a piano.

 

I had some other points to make, but I'll have to come back to this. Again, thanks for all of the input.

 

Wiggum

 

 

 

 

This message has been edited by Wiggum on 03-25-2001 at 12:51 AM