Aldena Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 The BS continues with me too. Friday night we played a private 50th birthday party, and the drummer invited the substitute singer and his wife to hear us. People were asking who these stangers were, because the invite list had been cut due to size restraints. Our current singer tried to talk to them during a break, and be friendly and stuff, but they just gave him the cold shoulder. Strange. They left quickly after that. The drummer's playing was too loud most of the night, and he was complaining that he couldn't hear everybody very good. I told him to play quieter, but he got pissed off. He spent the whole third set sulking, playing quietly and looking sideways. Afterwards, when he finished loading, our singer asked him how things were going, and he said he was getting a weird vibe from the band, so he just split without saying bye to anyone. We have our first real rehersal with the sub singer tonight. I'm almost afraid to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Yes. And also, we are about gig ready. If we start with a new guitarist that would put us behind. We all should be in on that. It affects how soon we get on the road. I/we have been working hard to get ready. The real issue is still betrayal and gutlessness. I have offered to conduct a band meeting and I compiled my list of expectations for all of us. I asked for them to add their own. I am not the leader or founding member so maybe out of line. But I can't just do nothing. I am already guilty by association. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Aldena: . We have our first real rehersal with the sub singer tonight. I'm almost afraid to go. I have had those. They stink. I won't spend too many days being afraid to go to rehearsal before I say goodbye. I (like to)have fun doing this. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddiePlaysBass Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Ross ... As far as the matter of being the leader is: I gather from your previous posts that the drummer is more or less the band leader. Okay, fine, why not. But he is confusing leadership with dictatorship. Plus keep in mind my comparison of musicians to sheep. I'd say, you go and have your say. Be prepared to quit if necessary (I know from experience that venting here is usually step one towards leaving a band anyway) and see where it goes. Like other suggested, you might want to look for a new drummer. Chances are the band would follow you. Like I said: sheep. Just be sure to be a tad more persuasive than the other guy. "I'm a work in progress." Micky Barnes The Ross Brown Shirt World Tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 I confronted drummer. He told me to "butt the hell out" and essentially don't tell him how to run a band. He also told me not to bring it up again aka. Don't tell the guitarist. I can't keep playing with this band knowing what I know and being told to keep it a secret. I don't operate that way on many levels. Dang it. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Originally posted by Aldena: The BS continues with me too. Friday night we played a private 50th birthday party, and the drummer invited the substitute singer and his wife to hear us. People were asking who these stangers were, because the invite list had been cut due to size restraints. Our current singer tried to talk to them during a break, and be friendly and stuff, but they just gave him the cold shoulder. Strange. They left quickly after that. The drummer's playing was too loud most of the night, and he was complaining that he couldn't hear everybody very good. I told him to play quieter, but he got pissed off. He spent the whole third set sulking, playing quietly and looking sideways. Afterwards, when he finished loading, our singer asked him how things were going, and he said he was getting a weird vibe from the band, so he just split without saying bye to anyone. We have our first real rehersal with the sub singer tonight. I'm almost afraid to go. How did the rehearsal go? "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowbee Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Ross, this is only my opinion but as it was me that suggested you talk to the drummer first to find out what is going on and based on his unreasonable reaction, I personally would now make everyone else in the band aware, including the guitarist. I would also consider the option of asking the drummer to leave and continuing without him. The only downside I could see is that if all of the venues dealt exclusively with him and wouldn't deal with you for subsequent gigs but is that the case? It's a sorry situation but as you said, he appears to be reacting to phantom problems and as a result is creating them. That advert is incredibly underhand and I don't think he is advertising for stand-ins but replacements. Now theres three of you in a band, youre like a proper band. Youre like the policemen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Originally posted by Ross Brown: The history: The previous version of this band had a wacky guitarist that could drink too much and apparently was unpredictable, personally and musically. This particular guitarist left the band last year to join another band then the bass player left. This resulted in a cancellation of ~45 gigs. I am not sure why a replacement couldnt be found to avoid some of these cancellations. hmm, did you ever meet this 'wacky' guitarist or did the drummer tell you about him? I can't for the life of me think why he would leave with the bass player to join another band though. Feel the groove internally within your own creativity. - fingertalkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Thanks. I will have to clue everyone in including the guitarist. I will also offer to continue with a new band that doesn't include the drummer. Will have to set up rehearsal space because we were practicing at the drummers. The advert was not for stand ins, it was for a replacement. A good band can get gigs around here so I am not too worried about that, more worried about putting together a good band. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Originally posted by TimR: Originally posted by Ross Brown: The history: The previous version of this band had a wacky guitarist that could drink too much and apparently was unpredictable, personally and musically. This particular guitarist left the band last year to join another band then the bass player left. This resulted in a cancellation of ~45 gigs. I am not sure why a replacement couldnt be found to avoid some of these cancellations. hmm, did you ever meet this 'wacky' guitarist or did the drummer tell you about him? I can't for the life of me think why he would leave with the bass player to join another band though. I never met the old guitarist and bass player. It does seem to be clear now though doesn't it? That is why I will clue everyone in as to why I am out. I don't want to be that "wacky" bass player that left!! "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Sounds like it is the 'wacky' drum wacker who is out of wack. Should be some n's in there me thinks! Feel the groove internally within your own creativity. - fingertalkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aldena Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Ross, I feel for you, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing. For me, I kind of chickened out when I had the chance to lay it all out. Before anyone else had arrived, the drummer asked me if we were winding down, and after a long pause, I told him we were going to take a break from playing after this next gig. He kept pushing for answers, I kept stalling, and then the new singer showed up. So this new guy immediately starts bashing our current singer, saying how bad her voice is, and just going on and on. I guess he doesn't know that I'm in another band with her and her husband. That's probably because I failed to tell the drummer about the other band, since it includes 4 members of this band! We run through the songs, the drummer is barely playing, the singer is nervous, and it finally ends. Whew! We talked a little more, but there is still tension in the air, I have yet to explain the results of his actions, and we have another rehersal on Wednesday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Good luck. It is difficult dealing with people that aren't able to listen. I have alway thought it to be harder to argue with dumb people than smart ones. At least the smart ones know what your point is, they just may not agree with it. You could start by asking "what do you think I think of you?" and see what happens. I can just imagine. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowbee Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Sounds like Aldena'a situation is spookily similar. Now theres three of you in a band, youre like a proper band. Youre like the policemen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 Well I picked up my Amp and assorted gear from the rehearsal room at the drummers last night. I am out. I feel bad in many respects ie we were about ready to play, the others in the band were good guys, etc. The drummers tried to back pedal so fast it made my head spin. I tried not to engage him. Shook hands. Agreed that we have significantly different philosophy as to how to run a band and treat people. It is a relief that that is over. Thanks to everyone for listening and provideing advice and thoughts. One of the great things about this forum is that it is a great place to check in and determine what normal is. I will tell the rest of the band today why I left. Would be nice if they wanted to play with me and find a new drummer. Otherwise I am either looking for a new band or forming my own. Not sure which. Depends on opportunities. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowbee Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Respect to you Ross for doing the morally right thing and leaving before you approached the other members with your offer, that's definitely taking the higher ground. All the best with future musical ventures. Now theres three of you in a band, youre like a proper band. Youre like the policemen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Brown Posted July 13, 2006 Author Share Posted July 13, 2006 So cool.... The lead guitarist and the rhythm guitarist both contacted me. They both know drummers and want to keep playing together, just with a new drummer. Must find rehearsal space now, PA etc. We are getting together this weekend to lay out our plan. Got a great e mail letter from the lead guitarist thanking me for being a friend to him. He said he could sense something strange with the drummer and vocalist, but didn't know what it was. Thanks again to everyone here for the words of wisdom. "When I take a stroll down Jackass Lane it is usually to see someone that is already there" Mrs. Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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