bottomend Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 Bass player offenses/fines list Name of offender _____________________________ Date of offense(s) _____ / _____ / _______ Musical offenses Playing loudly during warm up $10 Sound-checking amp with funk slapping $25 Loud cursing after mistake $10 Playing high and fast after mistake $20 Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20 Asking for "E" tuning note $25 Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb $50 Playing written-out walking line $50 Failure to play written walking line $75 Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50 Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50 Playing eighth notes $5 each Playing sixteenth notes $10 each Playing above 1st octave-immediate dismissal Dragging fast tempo $75 Dragging ballad tempo $100 Blacking out during ballad $200 Ignoring drummer's tempo $100 Following drummer's tempo $250 Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000 Upright player offenses Showing up before first downbeat $25 Playing audibly $25 Faking changes $25 Slapping $150 Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25 Excessive sweating $25 Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50 Asking leader for a solo $30 Accepting solo when offered $50 Taking second chorus $100 Playing solo arco $400 Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $25 Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200 Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500 Electric player offenses Checking hair between tunes $15 Experimenting with odd meters $25 Missing root at end of blistering fill $25 Playing with a pick $50 Tuning during ballad $30 Playing Jaco groove on samba $75 Playing Jaco samba groove on ballad $150 Attempting last word on final chord $50 Achieving last word on final chord $100 Long gliss down to final note $200 Equipment violationselectric Forgetting strap $10 Changing strings after every set $15 Using electric tuner $15 Setting up mic "just in case" $75 Forgetting to turn amp on $40 Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50 Asking horn player for help moving amp $25 Bringing custom-made bass $100 per string above 4 Bringing more than 1 bass $100 per extra bass Skull decals on bass $150 Bringing fretless bass $500 Criminal bad taste Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10 Asking bone player about their day gig $10 Sitting behind drums on break $10 Quoting "Birdland" $25 Practicing scales during break $25 Practicing scales during drum solo $50 Practicing $150 Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player" $50 Casually mentioning to Musical Director of cheap theater that you are "into sequencing" $100 Basic stupidity Wearing old Buddy Rich tour shirt $10 Wearing new Whitesnake tour shirt $20 Asking when the rock set starts $20 Continually asking "where are we?" $25 Continually shouting "Yeah!" $25 Asking bone player where "1" is $50 Taking cellphone call during 4's $100 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Orr Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 I think I remember seeing this in a BP (Bryan Beller article?) Originally posted by bottomend: Bass player offenses/fines list Name of offender Brendan Orr Musical offenses Sound-checking amp with funk slapping — $25 --Yes, once... my freshman year in highschool. I swear officer it hasn't happened since! Loud cursing after mistake — $10 --Guilty, though only during rehearsals, not performances Playing eighth notes — $5 each --C'mon! I don't think I need to explain myself here Playing sixteenth notes — $10 each --Again!?! How am I supposed to play "What is Hip?" Playing above 1st octave-immediate dismissal --Hey! I was jamming with another bassist, he took lower octave so I didn't want to muddy things more so I decided to travel up to the 13th for a while Following drummer's tempo — $250 --Dang, well even if he is a Russian Dragon (rushin' draggin'... get it?) I still gotta feel that groove! Upright player offenses Showing up before first downbeat — $25 --Guilty, no excuse. Playing audibly — $25 --Ok ok, it was a vocal, piano, drum, and bass jazz piece. Do you really think that I would be overpowered by the keyboard players left hand? Slapping — $150 --Guilty, It was for "It Don't Mean a Thing(If Ya Ain't Got That Swing)"... ...the song screams for that slap on the &'s Excessive sweating — $25 --Sorry, its genetic. Pedal point double-stops during horn solo — $50 --Guilty. :~( Accepting solo when offered — $50 --Guilty here, sometimes I just get the need to go to thumb position. Electric player offenses Experimenting with odd meters — $25 --4/4, 6/8, 12/8... its all been done. Why not 15/16? Long gliss down to final note — $200 --Guilty, but only when explisitly requested. Equipment violations—electric Using electric tuner — $15 --My A440 tuning fork hasn't arrived in the mail yet. Bringing more than 1 bass — $100 per extra bass --Yes, but its not GAS related. Ones a fretted 5, the others a fretless (and soon to come... fretted 4) Bringing fretless bass — $500 --Yes, but I use it for fusion Criminal bad taste Quoting "Birdland" — $25 --Yeah, but it's a beautiful song Practicing — $150 --Sorry, guilty there as well. I don't really care to add it up. Way to much for a bass player's salary groove, v. Inflected Form(s): grooved; groov·ing transitive senses:1a.to make a groove in;1b.to join by a groove;2.to perfect by repeated practice;3.to throw (a pitch) in the groove intransitive senses:1.to become joined or fitted by a groove;2.to form a groove;3.to enjoy oneself intensely;4.to interact harmoniously - groov·er noun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Orr Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 Found it: Bass Player Magazine, March 2001, v12i3, p84 (Cover: "Remebering Milt Hinton") Its called "Crime & Punishment" Ha, theres a coincidence...his excuse for the 16th notes was "What is Hip?" also. Took me a while to find it, just from a few years, its surprisingly tall. Anybody have every issue out there? If so how much space is it taking up? Hey, a Craig Anderton article!!! I miss those recording articles. groove, v. Inflected Form(s): grooved; groov·ing transitive senses:1a.to make a groove in;1b.to join by a groove;2.to perfect by repeated practice;3.to throw (a pitch) in the groove intransitive senses:1.to become joined or fitted by a groove;2.to form a groove;3.to enjoy oneself intensely;4.to interact harmoniously - groov·er noun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBF Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 LOL dude... very nice! Scales don't do music. Melody does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fonz Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 how do you know it's the horn section knocking on your door? no one knows when to come in. Eeeeeehhhhhhhhh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slaerty Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 Gonna have to sell everything I own just to pay my fines... Providence over serendipity any day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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