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Why She Doesn't Sleep With Bassists


The Bear Jew

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#5 sent me this poem he found online. I think it sums things up pretty well.

 

Why I don't sleep with Bass Players

 

Singers need groupies

to want them

lust them

need them feed them

singers don't know how to take care of themselves

they crave the glory

and adoration of tons of women

and i'm often only too

happy to do my part

for their art

 

guitarists are similar

but have more of a clue

they sort of know what

they need to do

but they're artists

creators, poets

and need a kindred spirit to coax them along

and suck their cocks a lot

 

drummers need someone to reassure them

to tell them that

what they do is valid and important

and remind them

every day that they are

special and unique individuals

no, not “short bus” special

not everything you've heard

about drummers is true.

 

but the bass player has his own agenda

their own groove

not melody, not rhythm

it's their very own vibe

they don't need a partner

don't need a tribe

just a power outlet

and a place to play

 

i need to be needed

what can i say?

 

-Cynthia Gould

\m/

Erik

"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."

--Sun Tzu

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Uhhh...I would just say that there are some things a guitarist needs that a bass player needs as well.

 

This thing should be posted on the bassplayer traits thread for future reference.

"Let's raise the level of this conversation" -- Jeremy Cohen, in the Picasso Thread.

 

Still spendin' that political capital far faster than I can earn it...stretched way out on a limb here and looking for a better interest rate.

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Props to Cinque. Definitely some truisms there. Especially the bit about the power outlet and a place to play (although there are some URB folks who might take some issue with that!).

 

May thou groove mightily and amp the vibe!

 

Peace.

spreadluv

 

Fanboy? Why, yes! Nordstrand Pickups and Guitars.

Messiaen knew how to parlay the funk.

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Yeah folks... I have no idea how Mr. Cinco found this little verse, but it's got some truth in it.

 

However... I'd also add (as I'm both a guitarist and a bassist) that our band will play just about anyplace where we can find semi-reliable power outlets.

 

Having the "kindred spirit" etc, is nice, too, though.

\m/

Erik

"To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."

--Sun Tzu

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Ahh, the wisdom.

 

I noticed each of us got a "type" of groupie.

 

Singer groupie - all flash and image.

Guitarist groupie - after the alpha male.

Drummer groupie - wants to be the alpha female.

Keyboard groupie - likes poetry, painting.

Bassist groupie - likes foundation. Will show up the next night (as will the keyboard groupie).

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Originally posted by jeremyc:

Hey, I have solved the problem.

 

I have an Aphex Aural Exciter with Big Bottom in my rack.

 

Just what every bass player needs, an oral exciter with a big bottom!

LOL, Jeremy -- I couldn't agree more! I've got one of them thar doo-hickies as well!

spreadluv

 

Fanboy? Why, yes! Nordstrand Pickups and Guitars.

Messiaen knew how to parlay the funk.

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Originally posted by tazzola:

Originally posted by Alan Dalton:

Arrah, so what if the singers, guitarists and drummers get the groupies? Groupies are usually sluts. We'll take the classy girls instead. :thu:

Hopefully, one of those classy types will look like my avatar! Then we can populate the world with weirdos, and go MAD! :D:D
LOL Tazz! I was wondering about that pic.. definitely hot in a intelligent, nerdy kinda way. :eek:
Beware the lollipop of mediocrity; one lick and you suck forever.
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