What are your thoughts on rejection & failure?

[BMD]

Do they hold you back or make you stronger?

[KuruPrionz]

My tag line says it all.

[KuruPrionz]

Time, place and approach are everything. If one of them is not right, things may not go well.

A song I wrote in my early 20's (I am 66) is now the most requested song in the popular band I am in and we get lots of requests.

I watched a table of 7 one night that was in front of the duo, as I sang that song 5 of the seven people sang along - they knew the words.

 

It would have been nice to get it out there 40 years ago but it didn't happen. And that doesn't mean the public at large has heard or bought the song.

A victory, sweet indeed. But not a spectacular one.

 

I'm above average on guitar by a considerable margin. I've made more money by far buying and selling guitars.

 

The real world, it's real.

[The Real MC]

I look at them to learn and grow. Some rejections aren't constructive they are just pointless and it's like whatever.

[Anderton]

Well, I'll give you an example. I've had an idea for a book publishing model for a long time. I approached a major publisher and they were, shall we say, not convinced of the wisdom of this approach. So I put on my "screw you" hat and decided that I didn't care about the rejection, I knew it would work, and now Sweetwater is publishing my eBooks and being 100% behind the model. It's working out really well.

 

I will say sometimes rejection just hones my motivation to prove that I shouldn't have been rejected

 

Failure is something else. I have fails all the time, but they're not necessarily public. For example, I do a weekly video for Full Compass and a weekly tip for Studio One. Coming up with something every week is NOT easy. Both are the result of "what if?" experiments. I often go through two or three failed experiments before I come up with something suitable for the tip or the video.

 

But I also need to mention something I've brought up before, a concert that got two reviews, one over-the-top negative and the other over-the-top positive. Yet they picked the same things to be positive or negative about, e.g., "then the guitarist played noises on some box" vs. "then the guitarist played electronic sounds I'd never heard before," or "the band didn't even bother to interact with the audience" and "thankfully, they just played music, none of this pandering to the audience stuff." So much is in the eye of the beholder.

[RABid]

For me it depends on if the critism is somewhat valid, or comes from ignorance. Back in the early 1990's when I got my degree in computer science I went to D.C. to interview with a company where a friend worked. I had interviews with 4 different people in the same company that day. After one interview I was supposed to wait in the hall for my friend to come take me to lunch. While waiting I overheard the interviewer on the phone talking about me. "You should have heard his hillbilly accent. If I was going to hire someone stupid I would at least fill a quota." I was mad and tried to console myself with the tought of what would be better, not getting a job or working for someone that thought I was stupid? Only one of those paid the bills. One of the other interviews did get me an offer from the company and thought about taking it just for the chance to show up that person, but I ended up taking another job.

[techristian]

Rejection should make you stronger, especially if they EXPLAIN the rationale for their decisions. If someone comes up to me and says "I hate your playing.", what good is that going to do? Now if the same person says "You may need to emphasize 2 and 4 more." , I may listen (as I did many years ago)...speaking strictly of US and Canada POP music.

 

On the technical side, "I hate your drum sound.", doesn't really do me any good (still working on this one), but rather perhaps, "You should turn up 100hz on your bass drum.", may help or make it worse, but at least I may try it !

 

Believe me, I have learned from many mistakes.

 

"You should have heard his hillbilly accent. If I was going to hire someone stupid I would at least fill a quota."

 

That is just ignorance. Does he/she think you live barefoot in a cabin and hunt possums ?

 

 

 

Dan

[Notes_Norton]

There is no failure until you quit trying. Sometimes it's good to know when to quit trying.

 

Rejection happens, sometimes rejection is in the eye of the rejector.

 

Specific criticisms (not all are constructive) are an opportunity to evaluate and learn something.

 

Insights and incites by Notes

[Anderton]

While waiting I overheard the interviewer on the phone talking about me. "You should have heard his hillbilly accent. If I was going to hire someone stupid I would at least fill a quota."

 

I interviewed Hartley Peavey once, and asked him to what he attributed his success.

 

Hartley: "Well Craig, I do have an incredible advantage over my friendly competitors."

 

I expected him to say something about the business climate in Mississippi, tax breaks, labor pool, or whatever.

 

Me: "Oh? What is that?""

 

Hartley: "Because I talk like this, people think I'm stupid."

[Groove On]

Do they hold you back or make you stronger?

I always have a conflict with the inner voice that kicks my ass when I fail and is too syncophantic when i succeed. Its a delicate balance to stay disciplined and in the zone. Age and experience have granted me wisdom to stay om the true course, but when i was younger quick successes and failures were both a blessing and curse.

[Greg Mein]

It's been a long time since I was in a position where I had any concerns about rejection or failure. I've sought after and been recommended for groups and gigs in my area and have been very successful with that, especially given that performing has really only been a side venture. I like to think that I have an incredibly realistic approach to life and so I've never expected much from my original recordings knowing that I'm a tiny fish in a very large ocean. I've had a couple minor personal successes that were enjoyable for me.

 

I've finally reached a point in life now where I have more freedom and I'll be pursuing some musical ventures with more vigor in the coming months. I'll probably be putting myself in a position where rejection and/or failure may affect me more. Time will tell but I'll certainly be able to deal with anything that comes my way in a positive way.

[KuruPrionz]

I reject failure.

 

And, I fail to be rejected.

[Dave Bryce]

I quite like the quote, "The master has failed more times than the novice has tried".

 

dB

[Anderton]

I quite like the quote, "The master has failed more times than the novice has tried".

 

That's a great quote. But it also implies a corollary - keep on trying. To wit:

 

Samuel L. Jackson didn"t get his big break until he appeared in Spike Lee"s "Jungle Fever" at 43.

Stan Lee didn"t create his first comic until he was 39.

Alan Rickman didn't get his big break until he was 42.

Judy Dench's career didn't take off until she was in her 60s.

Julia Child worked in advertising for the majority of her life. She released her first cookbook when she was 50.

Rodney Dangerfield didn"t catch a break until he appeared on the Ed Sullivan show at age 46.

Vera Wang had dreams of becoming an Olympic figure skater and when that didn't work out, she tried journalism. That didn't work, so she entered the fashion industry at the age of 40.

Harland Sanders (the original Colonel Sanders) franchised the company at the age of 62, and later sold it for several million dollars.

[Anderton]

And frankly, sometimes failure is doing you a favor. I've had several instances where I wanted to make something happen and it didn't work out. But then something much better happened, and it wouldn't have if the first thing had enjoyed middling success, which would have been enough to make me stick with it.

[RABid]

At 62 I just signed up for guitar lessons. I start Wednesday. Online lessons are not doing it. I'm just not motivated unless I have to face someone and show them what I learned in the past week.

[SteveCoscia]

Made me stronger (and smarter). Two key life behaviors are perseverance and tenacity. If your future vision is worthy then stay at it.

[KenElevenShadows]

I suppose I don't really like it.

[KenElevenShadows]

I keep plowing through rejection and failure. Failure I don't mind at all. That's just simply what happens on the way to success.

 

I don't particularly enjoy rejection, but I leave it in my wake like detritus all the same.

 

Just keep moving. Just keep doing. Just keep creating.