Jump to content


Please note: You can easily log in to MPN using your Facebook account!

OT- Friend wants to quit smoking


LiveMusic

Recommended Posts

A bass player friend... he's scared now. His mom just got a lump in her chest. His dad died of lung cancer, so did uncle. My friend smokes like a chimney. He's a tobacco addict, age 43. Looks 55. He said he kicked a morphine addiction, a codience addiction but can't lick the cigs. I told him far as I know, cold turkey is only way I've heard good results. He said he really does want to quit. (I hate cigs.) He admitted he despises them too. I don't know what to tell him, how to do it.

> > > [ Live! ] < < <

Link to comment
Share on other sites



  • Replies 16
  • Created
  • Last Reply

I smoked for ten years---and you're right: just putting them down is the best way to make it stick--- I 'do' have an addictive personality that has caused serious issues in other areas (that for those that will come here and tell you that some people aren't "really" addicted while others are) but once I made the decision and meant it, I put them down for good. That was about three ago.

 

One suggestion I might give---tell him to slam-out chain smoke--- I'm talking an entire pack in two hours or something--- whatever it takes until his chest is tight and it hurts.

 

Then don't buy any more. Let that be the last impression he gets from cigarettes, so a few days later, when he's stressing, he will think about that ugly, horrible tightening in his chest and he will abstain, remembering why he's doing this. Also, it helps to trash all the thousands of smoking-related things every smoker has---give away the lighters, the ashtrays, the coupons for free cigs you get in the mail---have your car(s) detailed and cleaned---same with your house...you have to change your environment as best you can to drive home that you are now a non-smoker, not that you've just quit smoking.

 

The ONLY way a man will quit is by really wanting it bad enough---people that go out and buy cigs and say it was some spur-of-the-moment impulse DON'T really want to quit---it takes too much planning and effort to acquire smokes.

 

It IS that simple. If he's really ready to stop, then he will.

 

Best of luck to your friend--

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

--Aristotle

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was a two-pack-a-day-er. Then, my son Derek (who was then 8 months old) went into the hospital with asthma. I had been experiencing chest pains and shortness of breath. I stayed with my son (who was in an oxygen tent) the whole time. Whaddya know, as if the planets should align...the Thursday he went into the hospital was the first (I think) day designated "The Great American Smoke Out Day". Hmmmm...Ted...someone's trying to tell you something. I haven't had a cigarette in 19 years.

 

What helped me? Take the end off a retractable ball point pen...take the ink cartridge out. Hold the plastic end between your fingers like you would a cigarette. Puff on it if you want. Anyone says you look stupid, tell 'em you've quit smoking, and puffing a pen doesn't look half as stupid as having a cancer stick hanging out of your mouth.

 

Another thing that helps, especially if you're a menthol smoker, keep Hall's cough drops on hand. Don't chew gum...it tastes too yummy. Hall's will help, they last longer than gum, and they're not yummy.

 

Worked for me.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by LiveMusic:

 

He said he really does want to quit. (I hate cigs.) He admitted he despises them too. I don't know what to tell him, how to do it.

__________________________

 

You simply need to explain to him that he doesn't really want to quit. If he really wanted to quit, he would. Especially since he kicked morphine, which is obviously more addictive than nicotine and has lost loved ones to smoking.

 

He doesn't "despise" them enough TO quit. That's his problem.

 

At least, this is what Dr. Phil would tell him! ;)

 

I've got room to talk, because I quit cold turkey after suffering a collapsed lung. I simply had to hate smoking enough to not go through that again. Your friend has been through worse suffering than a collapsed lung. Like I said, he needs to really despise smoking and stop using it as a crutch for whatever, then he will find the strength to quit.

 

If he can quit morphine, he most certainly can quit smoking. He has to want to , though!

 

Peace :thu:

"Treat your wife with honor, respect, and understanding as you live together so that you can pray effectively as husband and wife." 1 Peter 3:7

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've never had to quit, but friends who have have told me that patches help - HOWEVER - You still have to WANT to quit. They will make you less irritable, and feel less crap - But they wont stop you wanting a cig. You still need to fight that.

"Money, Bitchez and Cheese!"

 

http://www.playspoon.com/nollykin/files/voxline.gif

 

"I never thought about it, and I never stopped to feel -

But I didn't want you telling me just what to think was real.

 

And as simple as it comes, I only wanted to express-

...But with expression comes regret - and I don't want you hating me."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sure you are going to get as many opinions as there are people on the board, but I think the most important one is "he has to want to". Zyban worked for me. After a couple of weeks on that, I had to tell myself to put the cig up to my lips, breathe in the smoke, then exhale. All the automatic things I did disappeared. It seemed silly to do it after a while on the Z. But, the habit remained, getting in the car, I would reach for one out of my pocket, only to realize the pack wasn't there.

 

I could go on and on with little smoking stories, but I surrender the floor to the rest of my ex-smoking guit buds out there.

 

Best of luck to him :thu:

Once I thought I saw you, in a crowded, hazy, bar........

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I quit smoking two and a half years ago. First thing I did was buy a pack of nicoret. I didn't use it as advised however.

 

You are supposed to chew one piece, two or three chews and then tuck it into your cheek. After that, you throw it out. I did the chew and tuck, but then I put it back in the pack. I would have an old piece in the pack with no nicotine left in it and I would finish up by chewing that. After a while, the first piece I chewed would be white and devoid of nicotine so I would throw out my old white one, replace it with this one and open a new one for the nicotine.

 

To start with, I would chew the gum (Using the method I mentioned above) until I couldn't stand it anymore. I would then give in a have a smoke. Then back to the gum. I went from a pack and a half a day to about 5 or 6 a day like this. Then I slowly phased out the cigs. Once they were gone, I phased out the gum.

 

It's a tough road..but it's a road that you eventually HAVE to take. You can do it now while you have a choice. Or you can wait until you are even more addicted and are forced to quit because of a disease.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've quit smoking this year. First the patch. It probably would have worked had I not kept a pack of cigs around. I was still having one per day. After that, I went the Zyban route. It takes a couple weeks to build up in your system, but once it does it works. I figure it impedes those electrical impulses your body sends when it craves a smoke. Anyway, no physical nicotine withdrawal for me. It is however, still very much a mental battle. Once you're there, don't succumb to keeping any cigs around you. If you don't have them, you won't smoke them, and any craving should pass. Chew gum or something.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would recommend your friend to read a book by Allen Carr. The title is "It's easy to quit smoking if you know how to" or something like that. It has worked with a lot of people, but again, he has to really want to stop smoking, otherwise it won't work.

I hope this helps him. Good luck. :wave:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i quit when my son was diagnosed with leukemia. my love for him outweighed the selfish bullshit that was going through my head and keeping me smoking.

 

you have to believe in something bigger than yourself. it doesn't matter what it is, it just has to be more important to you than yourself.

 

so tell your friend that somewhere today a child got diagnosed with cancer from doing nothing but living, and he has the choice to stop smoking and doesn't? :mad:

 

i can't imagine what my son or any other cancer survivor would think of that. personally, i can't think of anything more stupid than gambling with cancer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm another that believes you have to 'want to quit'. No ands, ifs, or buts. I mean butts! My wife and I took one of those Hypnosis Seminar classes. There's no magic there, just a good deep method of relaxation with a tape playing subliminal messages. It helped some, but the key is the desire to really quit. We've both been non-smokers for 9 years now.

 

The only thing that may be tougher for your friend is that smoking probably was a major factor in his ability to get over the drug addictions. He should inquire about quitting with a Doctor; one that is familiar with his past.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by FunkJazz:

i quit when my son was diagnosed with leukemia. my love for him outweighed the selfish bullshit that was going through my head and keeping me smoking.

 

you have to believe in something bigger than yourself. it doesn't matter what it is, it just has to be more important to you than yourself.

 

so tell your friend that somewhere today a child got diagnosed with cancer from doing nothing but living, and he has the choice to stop smoking and doesn't? :mad:

 

i can't imagine what my son or any other cancer survivor would think of that. personally, i can't think of anything more stupid than gambling with cancer.

The most bizarre thing I ever saw was when my Mom was hospitalized with cancer. Here she was in a wing of Cancer patients, most going through chemo and radiation, many close to death. And outside, everyday, were many of the nurses from that wing, smoking! Unreal.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I found that when I was truly ready to quit, it was easy. I just had to get to that mental place.

 

Unfortunately, the really hard part is maintaining it. I've quit smoking twice. Once for six years, and once for five years. Both times it only took "one cigarette at the bar (party, whatever)" to get me started again.

I wish your friend the best of luck. :thu:

May all your thoughts be random!

- Neil

www.McFaddenArts.com

www.MikesGarageRocks.com

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let me explain my father in law dying of lung cancer. He had quit smoking some years earlier:

 

Diagnosed: Mid-August. Battery of tests to determine chemo eligibility showed him otherwise healthy - no cardiac problems, cholesterol, kidneys, liver, etc.

 

He died a week before Christmas; two weeks before he would have been 70. :cry:

 

Think about that. Diagnosis to dead in 4 months. :(

 

My wife is a respiratory therapist at a sub-acute hospital. She sees patients with tracheostomies who go outside the hospital (with their IV poles in tow) and stand there smoking cigarettes through the hole in their neck! Not that nicotine is addictive or anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Originally posted by billster:

She sees patients with tracheostomies who go outside the hospital (with their IV poles in tow) and stand there smoking cigarettes through the hole in their neck! Not that nicotine is addictive or anything.

Yeah, I've seen that. Its very very sad :(

"Money, Bitchez and Cheese!"

 

http://www.playspoon.com/nollykin/files/voxline.gif

 

"I never thought about it, and I never stopped to feel -

But I didn't want you telling me just what to think was real.

 

And as simple as it comes, I only wanted to express-

...But with expression comes regret - and I don't want you hating me."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As many above mentioned, you have to want to stop, first and foremost. the method I used was to monitor how much I smoked and then cut down (maybe one or two less a day) until I was down to a minimal amount. This made quitting altogether much easier (my wife quit shortly before I did, that helped too). No patches, just will power. It was also the middle of winter when I quit (those wonderful North East winters!) so it was an extra chore to wrap up enough but keep the mouth exposed. I also don't believe in patches (they may work for some people though), I've watched my sister in law and her husband try to quit with them on/off for 8 years (and two kids).

 

What keeps me off them to this day is a co-worker of mine who has a god-awful raspy smokers cough. If ever there was a sound to deter one from the pleasures of tobacco, this is it.

www.windhamhill.com - Shameless Advertising!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tell your buddy the physical addiction only lasts 5 to 7 days. After that, it's all psychological. Tell him for at least the first week, he needs to drink lots of water and fruit juices, and stay away from greasy foods. The fluids help accelerate flushing the remains of the nicotine out of the system, but the grease from stuff like burgers and pizza and so on tends to make it harder to get rid of it.

 

Tell him he needs to get up and walk after meals rather than sit around, in order to get away from the habit of smoking after eating (he can do the same thing after sex if he feels the need, but I don't know what he should tell his partner :cool: ), and that he should do a lot of walking, period. Excercise helps push the metabolism back up to normal levels, and help him keep from gaining weight which is a problem for people who quit.

 

It is really not as hard as it seems to quit. The real crux is making up your mind that it is really what you want to do. Afte that, it's a struggle but not an impossible one.

Always remember that you�re unique. Just like everyone else.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...