The Thirteenth Guest

[mikegrijak]

Okay, here are the rules. You're holding a dinner party, and you have decided (for reasons best known to yourself) to hire a time machine and travel the whole of human history and geography, and bring back twelve figures from either past or present, from anywhere in the world, to attend your gathering. Anyone. Anyone you wish, for whatever reasons. Feel free to tell us a little about why you invited whom you did. And then there is the matter of....the Thirteenth Guest who must be taken from amongst those people you consider to be the most evil of all man's history. And tell us why you chose this person too, if you can. MY LIST 1. Anton Szandor La Vey (1930 - 1997) The founder of the Church of Satan in California in the mid 60's, Anton La Vey was a man who suffered from this label and from misunderstandings about what he really hoped to achieve for mankind. I would hope to be his rapt audience during the coffee. 2. Terry Pratchett (1948 - ) Having met Mr Pratchett three times in my life, and knowing what a dry yet gentle wit he is as much in real life as in his novels, I would be remiss in leaving him from my table. Apart from anything else, he and I once started a conversation upon the subject of who we would both choose to play the characters in his novels should a movie ever be made. Due to press of time (and other people), we couldn't let it run its course, and I'd like a second chance! 3. Nicolaus Copernicus (1473 - 1543) The man who took the bold step of defying Catholic doctrine and law to propose the first heliocentric model of the Solar system. I would like to discuss with him the advances in astrophysics, and also to ask him why he thinks that there are some people who would still doubt some of his findings, even now. 4. Brendan Behan (1923 - 1964) A happy and unrepentant drinker as well as a fiery literary talent and a rare wit, Mr. Behan would certainly bring colour and occasion to our proceedings. Although he might very well clash in many ways with... 5. Emmeline Pankhurst (1858 - 192 Mrs Pankhurst was the powerful driving force behind the right of women to vote in Britain, and she and her fellow suffragettes often suffered humiliations and ridicule along the way. I would like to ask her how much of her dreams have come to pass but how much of her message may have been lost along the way, too. 6. Stephen Hawking (1942 - ) Just the man we need to tell us the exact standing temperature of the soup course. Just kidding. In reality a man who I consider has done more to bring physics to ordinary people, without having to dumb it down, than any other person in history - as well as an example of the triumph of intellect and good humour over a crippling condition. 7. John Lennon (1940 - 1980) Not so much for his music as for his mind. I always loved the way Mr. Lennon moved from his own pillars to posts throughout life and while he always considered other peoples' opinions of himself, he never took them more to heart than was good for him. I would hope to ask him exactly what was on his mind when he wrote the words to "Imagine" and whether he thought its message to be idle dreams or whether they truly have potential. 8. Vita Sackville-West (1892 - 1962) Ms. Sackville-West was the wife of the diplomat Sir Harold Nicolson, but managed to outshine him her whole life. Though they were dear devoted friends to the end, Vita and Harold's marriage was in name only, as they both privately professed preference for their own sex. Vita's letters and her singularly original life provide discussion for the literati even now, and I would like the chance to investigate the wellspring of it all, the lady herself. 9. Kunta Kinte (c. 1750 - c. 1810) No dry history book can ever provide the true and soulless experience of what it must be like for one man to be the purchased property of another. I feel that Kunta would be able to humble the whole gathering with his retelling. 10. Khalil Gibran (1883 - 1931) The author of some of the most soul-reaching Islamic poetry and prose I have ever had the honour to read, Gibran would surely be the one to soothe the party into rest by the fireside with his beautiful philosophies on all matters of life, love and death. 11. Sir Alec Guinness (1914 - 2000) There was SO much more to Sir Alec than Obi Wan Kenobi! His comedies of the 40's and 50's (The Lavender Hill Mob, The Man in the White Suit, The Ladykillers) his dramatic performances (Bridge on the River Kwai, Lawrence of Arabia) and his later Cold War thrillers (Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and Smiley's People) plus the engaging character of the man behind the image, make Sir Alec a must. 12. Lady Emma Hamilton (1761 - 1815) Lady Emma was invited to satisfy my own curiosity. For many people, she remains no more than the butt of jokes surrounding her relationship with Lord Nelson (whose mistress she was, for many years until his death). But I remain sure that a lady capable of captivating and holding the fascination of one of Britain's greatest naval heroes for the rest of his life, as well as the attention of so many other men in her social circle, must be worth an involved chat. 13. Vlad Tzepes (1431 - 1476) I confess to a fairly long-standing fascination with Vlad Tzepes. A man who was a fierce butcher to his enemies and sometimes even his subjects, he nonetheless defended his homeland with a passion seldom seen either then or now. His influence was so powerful that even now, local tradition in Wallachia (now part of Romania) holds him up as a legend, a conqueror and a hero. This, plus my own trace Romanian blood, makes Vlad the only possible choice for my Thirteenth Guest.

[not coaster MODERATOR]

1) Tedster - he would keep the guests happy and tell stories 2) Pancho Villa - appreciates good carne asada 3) Babe Ruth - Man, just think, having dinner with the Babe 4) Coaster - Valet attendant for the other guests 5) Lee Flier & Co. - To provide music for the guests 6) Jackie Gleason - I want to hear him say "NORTUN" in person from the Great One 7) Moe Howard - This guy would be perfect to serve the food 8) WC Fields - Drinking partner for Tedster 9) Phil O - Someone to talk gear with if things got boring 10) Ben Franklin - He could tell us how the country was started 11) Coaster - Help clean up after 12) Sammy, Deano and the Chairman. Cuz they could do Vegas man 13) Bad Guy = Billy Martin. Watch him kick dirt on Coaster

[Jotown]

1) Galileo 2) Duane Allman 3) Edgar Cayce 4) Joni Mitchell 5) Buddah 6) Jesus 7) Thomas Jefferson 8) Leonardo Davinci 9) Marilyn Monroe 10) Mark Twain 11) Jodi Foster 12) My Dad 13) Bad Guy = Adolph Hitler

[BNC]

1. Pathagoras, yes, the geometry guy. I'd love to understand how he came about his discoveries. 2. Sir Isaac Newton, basically for the same reasons above. 3. Galileo, " " 4. Einstein, " " (Yeah, I'm a scinece nerd) 5. Imhotep (sp?)- architect of the pyramids. Wouldn't you like to know how they were really made? 5. Benjamin Franklin- one of the wisest people to ever live. He would most helpful in times like these. 6. Thomas Jefferson - Ditto, and he was also(as was Franklin) a great inventor. 7. Stephen Hawking- He's just so increadibly smart, it amazing. 8. Charles Darwin- He gave us the understanding of our past, everyone before him was WAY off (they thought the world was 6000 years old). His work is not done, and it would be amazing to see what he could do with access to modern technology (that would be the after dinner entertainment). 9. The 1st Emperor of China- There is soooo much of early Asian history that is unkown; I'm sure he could tell us of all sorts of significant things we had no idea about. 10. Montezuma- For similar reasons as above. The Aztecs were also excellent mathemeticians, astronomers etc.. 11. Socreties (sp?)- Gotta have an acnient Greek in there, since they were the first democracy and what all of western culture is based on. 12. Ghandi- Wisest man ever? 13. Ghanges Khan (sp?)- He was one of the most successful conquerers of all time (especially land wise), but little is known about him. He was also a military/dictorial master mind; one of the most ruthless leaders of all time. These are in no particular order, and they were all basically off the top of my head. There were too many to really get into some thoughful eliminations (and I forgot alot of people's names). DA VINCI!!! I knew I forgot someone, thanks for the reminder Jotown. I guess he'll stay off my list, since it is a 13 guest party, wouldn't want Khan and Montezuma to bump elbows, could get ugly... :freak:

[whitefang]

1. Ken Kesey: Probably the only level headed conversation at the table. 2. Carl Sandburg: Okay, maybe another level headed conversation. 3. Carl Sagan. 4. Robert Crumb: He can doodle on the tablecloth. 5. Bob Dylan: Even though he'd probably be a no-show. 6. Beethoven: Just to hear him bitch would be a treat! 7. John Steinbeck: I'd seat him, just for fun, next to... 8. Earnest Hemmingway. 9. Dorothy Parker: Alright! A THIRD level headed conversation! 10. Abraham Lincoln. Needs no explanation. 11. Walter Cronkite. 12. Ansel Adams. And the 13th evil one... Sen. Joe McCarthy: Would like to hear him explain himself to all the others! Whitefang

[Midimonk]

This would probably be the scariest dinner party around but it would certainly be mind-expnding to say the least. :idea: 1.Andy Warhol 2.Edgar Allan Poe 3.Timothy Leary 4.Marquis De Sade 5.Anne Rice 6.Ed Wood 7.Bela Legousi 8.Sigmund Freud 9.Sid Vicious 10.Ludwig Van Beethoven 11.Syd Barrett 12.Aleister Crowley 13.Charles Manson

[Chip McDonald]

Leo DaVinci - obvious reasons, probably the smartest human to ever have existed. Can't go wrong there I presume. Dick Feynman - to give Leo the quickest update on physics and math, to see what comes of that (and to play percussion) Nick Pagannini - because I want to hear what a genuine historical virtuouso on violin sounds like. If he's busy Mozart or Beethoven would suffice. Hendrix - just because. Mike Jordan - just to see what he'd do around these guys Mike Schumacher - (F1 racing equivalent of MJ); just to hear what he'd talk about with MJ Marilyn Monroe - just because. Betty Page or Hedy Lamarr if she's busy. Jesus of Nazareth - just to answer a few questions Claude Monet - someone has to paint this scene. Ok, so he's not known for portraits; it doesn't matter, he'll make some more paintings, that's what counts. Voltaire - someone has to be the secretary and record things for posterity... Groucho Marx - in case Leo has a question about ducks. If busy, Robin Williams. Lao Tzu - I mean, if we *really* mean business here... Bruce Lee - I'd want MJ to meet him, that would be interesting. Larry Niven - just to keep everyone on their toes and thinking "big" Orson Welles - for added "big" and incisiveness. If he's busy, maybe 'ol Jack Nicholson would be interesting. Yeah, that would make for an interesting dinner party I think. By the way, it's being held at Nobu in New York, right....?