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Jazz haikus


Dave Horne

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A good friend of mine sent me this today. Just passing this on .....

 

Jazz haikus

 

Jam session bassist

Observes fourteen soloists

Contemplates murder

I'm sending a sub

But don't worry, he'll be fine

He's fresh from rehab

Solo pianist

Freed from all constraints of form

Heedlessly mangles

Jazz nymphs crowd bandstand

Offering carnal delights

My alarm clock rings

Double-timing bone

Sounds like somebody chewing

On a rubber band

Forty-two straight gigs

With no requests for "Take Five"

Time to call Guinness

Free jazz temptation

Strikes during the bride's first dance

What Would Wynton Do?

Riffing on "Rudolph"

Musicians in red and green

Learn humility

New Years revelers

Here's hoping the stroke of twelve

Sends you the hell home

Checking out women

High stages and low necklines

Great combination

A new world's record

For choruses on "A Train"

My band hates me now

That plate of hors d'oeuvres

Cost more than we're getting paid

Think we underbid?

Break time is over

Rest of band is returning

Now for that phone call

Rock drummer, lounge keys

Classically trained singer

Welcome to sub hell

God bless trust fund gigs

Only have to eat ramen

For a few more weeks

My drummer helped me

Count the syllables

In this Haiku

No guitarists were harmed during the making of this message.

 

In general, harmonic complexity is inversely proportional to the ratio between chording and non-chording instruments.

 

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