Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 Well, my silly cover band [b]Snow Chicken[/b] played a private party on New Year's. Although I've played hundreds of similar gigs, this one had something a little...different. We were playing well...everyone was pumped up and the crowd was great. In fact, I noticed that the ratio of women to men was about 3:1. And the ladies were all pretty cute. Weird. I found out later that the woman whose house the party was at had really only invited her female friends, and the only guys there were those who were dating or married to the invited ladies. About four or five songs in (this would be about 11:00), several girls were dancing in front of the band area. I think that's when the alcohol started taking effect. They went from regular ole dancing to somewhat risque dancing. Next thing you know, these girls are all grinding on each other and dirty dancing in the dirtiest of ways. We had been following our set list, but on the good advice of our drummer (who knows a good thing when he sees it), we avoided all the slow numbers and kept up on the fast and nasty stuff. By that point, despite the relatively cold weather, these gals were doing strip teases right in front of us. Duuuuuuuuude...I was standing there trying to focus on playing, but it was getting more and more difficult. Some underwear flew our way at one point. I announced another tune and looked back at the drummer to count us off, but he was busy making out with one of the chicks. Whoa! Anyway, like the good married person I am, I stuck to the "look but don't touch" rule, and we had a great time and played until 1:30am without getting broken up by cops. I was home in bed by 2:30 with a smile on my face and great memories of a fun gig. - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
Tom Capasso Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 Hey Jeff, Congrats on keeping to your rule. I've heard about gigs like this, but I've never seen one.... Glad you had such a fun New Year !! Tom www.stoneflyrocks.com Acoustic Color Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Author Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Tom Capasso: [b]I've heard about gigs like this, but I've never seen one....[/b][/quote]Tom, I've played in front of groupie-type gals before, and put my autograph on various body parts and so on. However, this was by far the wildest night in my career. All of these ladies were egging each other on, encouraging it to go further and further. I mean, if this was in a public place like a bar or something, the words "indecent exposure" and "lewd and lascivious behavior" would have been the minimal offenses! Ah yes...so [i]that's[/i] why I became a musician all those years ago! :D - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
jackpine Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Jeff, TASCAM Guy: [b] Ah yes...so [i]that's[/i] why I became a musician all those years ago! :D - Jeff[/b][/quote]Could there have been [i]any[/i] other reason? :D www.relayerstudios.com
Tedster Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 My Strat would have been strategically placed to cover up any, uh, embarrassment on my part. So that's why they started wearing their guitars slung lower... We never get gigs like that. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
Botch. Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 A titillating holiday indeed! :thu: Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Author Posted January 2, 2003 Well, Ted...before I put the Les Paul back in the case, I had to remove the thong panties that had ended up on the headstock. And yeah...I think I loosened my strap a couple of times! :D - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
MattC Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 I had a show somewhat similar to that last new years. PLenty of cute ladies, and alcahol was surely taking effect- on everyone excpet the ladies. The singer- about about 160 lbs- threw back about 10 beers between the first and second set. My producer (it was his house party) threw back bottles of wine like they were pepsi. We went onstage and started to play. The singer started by singing the words to our second song during the fisrt, and he actually got 2 verses in before he just blacked out all together. Back then, we also had a very heavy, very detuned, very juvenile song in out set. My producer decided that it would be a good idea to sit behind the ivory and accompany us. To this day, I'm still not sure what exactly he was playing. The unfortunate part behind this is that all the ladies left before the first song ended... ...think funky thoughts...
realtrance Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 Jeff, How selfish of you! In these times of digital imaging, and internet sharing, and all that, you go out and have every male musician's fantasy time of his life and... DON'T BRING BACK ANY PICTURES?!?! :eek: Man. Well. Erm. I guess we can all use our imaginations, though, and it's all mostly in your head, according to scientists, anyways. Although I suspect your recent experience would suggest a little external sensory input doesn't hurt. We'll understand if your hostess wouldn't be comfortable with sharing, though. But... sigh... rt
Dogfur Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 Jeff, this definitely beats last years Xmas party gig whining. Woof!
The Bear Jew Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 Jeff... I love those shows. They're magical. We had one of those this past weekend -- cute girls, zany dancing, hijnks, etc, etc. When stuff like that happens, I'm always concious of the "rock star" cliche' of groupie chicks and wacky antics, but it's SO much fun to live that cliche' sometimes. Grab it when you can, because (as we all know) those moments are relatively few and far between. \m/ Erik "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." --Sun Tzu
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Author Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by realtrance: [b]DON'T BRING BACK ANY PICTURES?!?![/b][/quote]Yeah...trust me, we were bemoaning that fact all day yesterday. But the other point which was brought up was that if those gals saw flashes going off, or video rolling, they might have been a little more hesitant in their debauchery. Ah well. - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Author Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by CMDN: [b]Grab it when you can, because (as we all know) those moments are relatively few and far between.[/b][/quote]Let's see...I've been playing live for about 20 years. I've probably done 300 gigs like the one on New Year's. And out of those 300, there have been maybe two that involved women baring parts of their body for our benefit on stage. So yeah...few and far between is right! - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
BP3 Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Jeff, TASCAM Guy: [b]if those gals saw flashes going off, or video rolling, they might have been a little more hesitant in their debauchery. - Jeff[/b][/quote]3 words Jeff. High speed film. :D
The Bear Jew Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 Jeff, my lad, you need to tour with my band. The average show has a good bit of flashing. The REALLY good ones, however, feature whipped cream, silly string, pinatas and water guns. No, I'm not kidding. We have video. \m/ Erik "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting." --Sun Tzu
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Author Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by CMDN: [b]We have video.[/b][/quote]I have mammaries. Memories, I mean, memories. Yes. Memories. :D - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
Tedster Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Jeff, TASCAM Guy: [b] [quote]Originally posted by realtrance: [b]DON'T BRING BACK ANY PICTURES?!?![/b][/quote]Yeah...trust me, we were bemoaning that fact all day yesterday. But the other point which was brought up was that if those gals saw flashes going off, or video rolling, they might have been a little more hesitant in their debauchery. Ah well. - Jeff[/b][/quote]Just tell 'em you work for "Girls Gone Wild" and they're all going to be famous. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
Oiled Posted January 2, 2003 Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Jeff, TASCAM Guy: [b] [quote]Originally posted by CMDN: [b]We have video.[/b][/quote]I have mammaries. Memories, I mean, memories. Yes. Memories. :D - Jeff[/b][/quote]mmmmmmmm.... mammaries. Hey whatever happened to that rack thread?
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 2, 2003 Author Posted January 2, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Tedster the sad 'Nole: [b]Just tell 'em you work for "Girls Gone Wild" and they're all going to be famous.[/b][/quote]I'm laughing right now, since the words "Girls Gone Wild" were uttered several times during the evening to describe what was going on. I've never seen one of those videos (really), but at least from the TV ads, that's a great representation of what my audience was like on Tuesday. Whee! - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
ljp Posted January 3, 2003 Posted January 3, 2003 well now. That would appear to me a sign that a very good year is upon us. But hey... I guess "it can't get no worse." :thu: llornkcor rocknroll http://llornkcor.com
Paul Berolzheimer Posted January 3, 2003 Posted January 3, 2003 Wow Jeff, you've played 300 New years eve gigs? You must be older than I thought. Paul Berolzheimer Progenitor of 2 amazing sound sources
GZsound Posted January 3, 2003 Posted January 3, 2003 Jeff, a camera should be part of your road gear!! We used to play a festival back in the 70's on Mt. Hood in Oregon every year called Kanda Beer. It starts with skiers having to drink a beer at various locations down the mountain. I ends with a wet tee shirt contest at the bar where we played. Somewheres around 5,000 folks would show up for the festival and needless to say, our bar was packed.. After the first year, I simply started the band on an extended blues jam and worked the camera. Since the girls had to get up on stage with us anyway, I got lots of up close and personal shots..and of course the winner every year was one of a couple of gals who decided to take it all off.. I still have my pictures and my memories.. Mark G. "A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame others" -- John Burroughs "I consider ethics, as well as religion, as supplements to law in the government of man." -- Thomas Jefferson
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 3, 2003 Author Posted January 3, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by Paul Berolzheimer: [b]Wow Jeff, you've played 300 New years eve gigs? You must be older than I thought.[/b][/quote]Yeah, my favorite one was in 1719. I was the lead lute player back then, but my buddy on the fife really rocked. :freak: No, as I'm sure you know, I meant that I'd played at least 300 gigs at parties like the one I'd played on New Year's. And yeah, in my mid-30s, I do feel pretty old...but not [i]that[/i] old. :) - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
dave64o Posted January 3, 2003 Posted January 3, 2003 Dang. I gotta stop just playing and recording at home and start gigging. :( -------------------- Dave O.
realtrance Posted January 4, 2003 Posted January 4, 2003 Now [i]there's[/i] an incentive to take it live if I ever saw one -- a 1 in 300 chance you'll be playing in front of a gaggle of dancing nudes! Jeff, you never know what kind of a reaction to a flash bulb you get until you've flashed the bulb, make no assumptions, ever. :) rt
Jeff Klopmeyer Posted January 4, 2003 Author Posted January 4, 2003 [quote]Originally posted by realtrance: [b]Jeff, you never know what kind of a reaction to a flash bulb you get until you've flashed the bulb, make no assumptions, ever. :) [/b][/quote]Someone pointed out that the gal who was hosting the party might have been snapping some pics or running some video. I, of course, wouldn't know...between watching the parade of flesh while trying to play guitar and sing, I wasn't much cognizant of anything beyond a ten foot radius of me. If she [i]did[/i] take some photos, I might have to give them an inspection...just to see how my band looked, of course. Maybe she can email them to me...please God let her email them to me. - Jeff Marketing Communications for MI/Pro Audio My solo music and stuff They Stole My Crayon
Stephen Fortner Posted January 4, 2003 Posted January 4, 2003 "Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oinnngg!" --Beavis Jeff, you could probably use my talents on keyboard, couldn't you... :evil: Or I could be a bodyguard, interposing myself to make sure that the onslaught of nubile bodies doesn't cause any of you to make mistakes on stage. It would be a dirty, dangerous, job, but I'd do it for you, becuase that's the kind of selfless guy I am. Stephen Fortner Principal, Fortner Media Former Editor in Chief, Keyboard Magazine Digital Piano Consultant, Piano Buyer Magazine Industry affiliations: Antares, Arturia, Giles Communications, MS Media, Polyverse
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