WAY OT: Adult Bookstores

[The Bear Jew]

OK, this one is gonna sound like a bullshit story, but I promise you it is completely true. One of my good friends works the late shift in a small college town in Central New York -- 10pm-6am. It's a fucked-up time or day to work. He's on his way home as everyone is just waking up. Every day, on his way home, he passes the same adult bookstore in a semi-seedy area of town. Since he's a wide-awake, healthy American male in his early 30s, he has stopped to peruse the store's selection of "adult" videos, magazines, etc. more than once. Sometimes he buys a video to watch with his girlfriend, sometimes he just stops in to browse or look at the magazines. As far as I can tell, no big sin here. SO... One day last week, while he was on his way home from work, my friend stopped in at the adult book store to see if there was anything new on the shelves. On the spur of the moment, he decided to "investigate" one of the video booths in the back of the store. The way he describes it, you walk into the booth, close the door behind you and deposit some money into a soda machine-like thingy and videos start playing on a screen in front of you. There's a bench in there, and you can imagine what most guys do next. Well.... My friend was sitting in there, watching a video, doing what guys do in these places, when the door do his booth kinda "rattled," like someone was trying the door. My friend coughed to make sure that the potential intruder realised the stall was occupied. The door rattled again. "Someone's in here," my friend said quietly. Louder rattling. "Occupied, man," my friend said, a trifle more loudly. "I know," said a masculine voice on the other side of the door. "Let me in." "WHAT?" my friend asked, getting upset. "Don't you want some company?" the voice asked incredulously. "FUCK NO! GET OUT OF HERE!" was the reply. My friend not a homophobe at all -- he's a "live and let live" type of guy -- but this kind of freaked him out. He left the room, went to the front of the store and reported the "incident." He told me the guy at the counter just looked at him and told him he'd make a note of it. Then he called me and told me about it. I laughed my ass off. Now, I'm not the most worldly guy, but I'm pretty sure I've heard these adult stores are the kinds of places where a lot of gay men (and other types of "alternative lifestyle" people) like to go in order to have anonymous sex in those funky booths. My friend had no idea, and he was totally skeeved out. I'm still laughing. I can't believe he was so naive. If you ask me, he got what he deserved for going into the booth in the first place. I've been breaking his balls about it ever since he told me about it -- calling him on the phone and pretending to be various celebrities who want to join him in the video booth. The best one was Ted Knight... you just have to use your imagination. It's fucking hilarious. Just wanted to share this story.

[Gus Lozada]

[quote]Originally posted by CMDN: [b] I've been breaking his balls about it ever since he told me about it -- calling him on the phone and pretending to be various celebrities who want to join him in the video booth. The best one was Ted Knight... you just have to use your imagination. It's fucking hilarious. Just wanted to share this story.[/b][/quote]:thu: Really hilarious !!! :D

[Tedster]

You are one cruel mofo. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Ted Knight...HAHAHAHA...

[The Bear Jew]

Hahaha.. yeah! Ted Knight (as Ted Baxter from [i]Mary Tyler Moore[/i]: Hello, Lou. Can I come in there with you? Hmm? Hmm? Hee hee hee... Another good one was Paul Shaeffer from [i]Late Night With David Letterman[/i], but that one's not so hard to imagine.

[Mats Olsson.]

Try your best [url=http://www.mugshots.org/hollywood/pee-wee-herman.html]Pee-Wee Herman[/url] or George Michael impersonation!!!! /Mats

[meccajay]

To quote Martin Sheen from Apocolypse Now.. NEVER GET OUTTA THE GODDAMNED BOAT!!! Your friend would understand. By the way, tell him getting in a booth to watch video porn is soooooo 1984.....and soooooo GAY! America now watches it's porn at home. Speaking of Porn at home, there is nothing like DVD porn!!

[not Cereal]

damn sticky remote buttons :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[The Bear Jew]

[quote] By the way, tell him getting in a booth to watch video porn is soooooo 1984.....and soooooo GAY! America now watches it's porn at home. Speaking of Porn at home, there is nothing like DVD porn!! [/quote]Dude... I fully agree. Believe me, I leave him voicemails about this at least three times a day. Sometimes I do this as Arnold (ya know, Mister Myagi?) from [i]Happy Days[/i]. It goes like this: "Hey buddy! Why you watching pawnos in booth? Why you don't take them HOME? You crazy? You try to get cruised by gay man? You want to catch STD? You rent DVD, go home, take care of business and take DVD back to store! You stay out of booth! You GO! I see Ted Knight trying to get into those tings all de time. You get out of there, Ted Knight!" I still can't believe he didn't realise that people use these places for that purpose. HAHAHA. I'm not even close to being finished with this torture.

[Sylver]

Was Ted Knight gay? Mister Miagi? Paul Shaffer? Oh my god, no. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm scarred for life.

[Dwarf]

[quote]Originally posted by meccajay: [b]Speaking of Porn at home, there is nothing like DVD porn!![/b][/quote]Any recommendations? :) -- Rob

[Mats Olsson.]

Tell your buddy to do a google search for "glory hole faq" - it will make him stay away from such establishments. (Don't bother to ask .....a friend of mine lives next door neighbour to a "booth camp") Is this a sticky thread or what? ;) /Mats

[RangerJay]

If your friend had looked around, he would have noticed that there are a couple of "holes" in the walls. I prefer to call them "service entrances." I only know this 'cause people told me about them, and not because I've ever actually witnessed them firsthand...

[The Bear Jew]

[quote] Was Ted Knight gay? Mister Miagi? Paul Shaffer? Oh my god, no. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm scarred for life. [/quote]Dude... I never said those guys were gay. Not that anything's wrong with that. I just leave my friend voicemails all day, pretending to be these people knocking at the booth door. I never asked him if there were any "glory holes" in that booth.