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Originally posted by TinderArts:

What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza?


A large pizza can feed a family of four.

... that was not BAD... That was SOOO CRUEL !!

Músico, Productor, Ingeniero, Tecnólogo

Senior Product Manager, América Latina y Caribe - PreSonus

at Fender Musical Instruments Company


Instagram: guslozada

Facebook: Lozada - Música y Tecnología



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What do you say to a guitarist in a three piece suit?


"Will the defendent please rise?"


Conductor comes in to an orchestra and says, "okay we're going to be making some substantial changes. First of all, play the first movement up a half step, and the third movement down a whole step. Delete everything between measures 154 and 258. Movement 2 will now be played in 5/4, and movement 3 in 3/4. Everyone got it?


And the "chick singer" said, "do you you have any changes for me?" To which the conductor replied, "No, honey, sing it just like you did yesterday."

Check out the Sweet Clementines CD at bandcamp
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A drummer from India comes to the U.S. to study music at Berklee. He stays the course, gets his degree, and returns to his native land. Soon he gets an audition with one of the area's most prominent bands. But after a few tunes, the bandleader stops the band and turns to the newly educated drummer.


He says, "Listen, we very much appreciate you go to America and learn much about music. But we still need stronger backbeat on 9 and 17."


Peace all,




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A symphony orchestra is rehearsing when suddenly the first bass player starts fighting with the violin section. The conductor interrupts and asks the bass player what's wrong. Bass player: once of those mothaf**kas has detuned my bass! Conductor: Well, what's the problem? Bass player: He doesn't wanna tell which string!



Hipness is not a state of mind, it's a fact of life.

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Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop noodling?


A: Put sheet music in front of him.


Thanks ladies and germs, enjoy your meal...I'll be at Billy-Bob's House of Comedy on Tuesdays this month...try the veal...remember to tip your waitresses.


- Jeff (yeah, I play guitar, shaddup)

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