How do you deal with fear?

[RABid]

Does anyone else here panic when playing in front of people? At my senior recital I sat down to play my songs. When I placed my right foot on the damper pedal my knee was shaking so bad that I had to place my left foot on top of my right foot to hold it in place. Then I played 36 pages of music without remembering a note. I played one song in church for the youth choir and I was shaking so bad I had to stop using my left hand. Family members have been insulted because I refused to play weddings. Co-workers dont understand why I will not play when they sing at a company party.

 

It is not as bad when playing in a band. The first good band I was in had an excellent guitarist who later played lead for Barbara Mandrel. Every night I concentrated on matching his licks and not getting blown off of the stage. Most nights that kept me focused and comfortable. Later I was in a band with an overly conceited guitarist which I grew to hate. The joy of showing him up every night kept me focused and happy. In most other bands I constantly battled stage freight.

 

Basically, when in front of a crowd I cannot relax and play. I start trying to remember what the cords are, or the notes to a solo. Then, of course, I go blank. Geezzzz. As I think back I remember so many times when I would panic just trying to remember which note a simple melody would start on. Right before a solo I would turn the volume down on a keyboard and hit a note just to reassure myself. No wonder I have turned into a closet keyboardist. Does anyone else here deal with this? If so, how?

[dansouth]

I've also found a band situation more comfortable. In a band, I'm only uncomfortable when someone calls a song that I don't know.

 

Waiting makes a recital unbearable. I experience this same feeling at work when my group is discussing the status of projects in a conference room. I can walk to the head of the room and give a presentation, no problem. But sitting there waiting for my turn to speak - even about some mundane bit of business - makes me freak out.

 

It's important to realize where fear comes from. It's not an external force. The people in the room aren't beaming you with fear rays. It all comes from inside of you. Stagefright is rooted in your own thoughts. You are granting to the audience an EXTREME amount of power over you. You are giving them permission to judge you, and you are agreeing to punish yourself if that judgement is not a positive one. You have power, but you're giving it away. So the first step is to maintain perspective.

 

What if you flub a performance? Will you have to be taken to the emergency room? Will you be dead in six months? Will you lose all of your money? Will your friends despise you, your family disown you? Probably not. So what's the big deal. Most of the audience will have forgotten the whole thing by next Tuesday. Why punish yourself if you make a mistake?

 

You may be attaching your sense of self worth to the quality of your performances. That's easy to do, but think about it. If you played the office Christmas party and you flubbed a song, would you be less of a nice person? Would you be less of a friend to your friends? Would you suddenly become a criminal? No. You'll be the same person tomorrow that you were today.

 

The WORST case scenario would be for you to lose your cool, jump up from the piano, say something like, "Dammit! I hate playing the f***ing piano!" and storm out of the room. Your colleagues would brand you as a psycho. But if you laughed it off and started over again, they'd all get a good chuckle, and you'd never have to face anything worse than a bit of ribbing. And even that is unlikely.

 

So try to keep this in perspective. This isn't brain surgery. The audience won't die if you screw up, and neither will you.

 

If you feel that the audience is judging you, remind yourself that most of them can't do what you can do. They can't do it as well on their best day as you can on your worst. Remind yourself that you are a really cool person above and beyond anything that you do as a musician, and you'll still be cool if you totally butcher the performance. Your friends will still hang out with you. Your family will still invite you over for dinner. You're not going to have to serve time in a penitentiary or be banished from the country for your "crimes."

 

If you think about it, every time you drive a car, you're doing something far more unnerving. There you really COULD kill someone, including yourself. You could be incarcerated if you made a serious enough mistake. Are you nervous when you drive? You should be no more nervous when you perform.

 

Keep in mind that "nerves" don't help you; they hurt your ability to perform. Kiss them goodbye and send them off on vacation. Stay loose and have a good time. When the inevitable mistakes happen, keep them in context and deal with them with a sense of humor. Remind yourself of all of the good things that you are and ask yourself which ones will no longer be true if you make a mistake on the piano.

 

Final suggestion: pump yourself up. Get yourself into a crazy, outrageous state where you LOVE to perform in front of people. You're gonna be James Brown or Tina Turner for the next hour. You LOVE to play. You love to be in front of people. And tonight, you're gonna JAM! If you picture yourself in this way, if you say the things in your head that a fearless performer feels, you'll be on fire when you hit the stage (and even hotter later). If you walk up on stage thinking. "I HATE this. I should have never agreed to this. I hope I don't screw up..." then you're doomed.

 

Have fun. That's all the audience requires. If you have fun, they'll enjoy themselves. If you go up there and dive into your own little emotional Hell, the audience is going to be miserable.

[Slowly]

Rabid, dan as unual has good sage advice. all I could add is if you could mentally get that conceited guitarist into the back of you mind, the music might flow. Also, see if this link can help. Casey

 

 

www.antion.com

[Jazzman]

Hi Rabid,

 

That happened to me many, many years ago, when I was playing drums at a local frat house. We started to play songs, I was ok with most of it but when it came down to me to start the tempo on a new song, a band member started to count off, started to play and DUH, forgot what lead in I was supposed to do! Wow was that dumb! Talk about a long drum roll.

 

I think it has to do with your not comfortable with the situation that you or others have placed you in. It could be from the type of crowd, age of the crowd, the size of the place, or you forgot something that was important for you to have for that event.

 

Take for an example, if 4 people give a speech at a meeting before you, then it is your turn, you freak out and can't remember the words because you are following others that may be more prepared than you are......so you think. You were prepared before but in the mind you started to judge your own capabilities and put yourself in a panic situation before you even started.

 

You realize that others have great expectations in your talants and your afraid to let them and yourself fail.

 

The same thing can happen if your the last one to join a band. They know most of the songs real well and you don't yet, and you freak out in front of others, it seems like everyone is against you! This activity only reinforces the wrong things.

 

Sometimes if you visit the place that your going to play or speak at ahead of time, meet with some of the local people there, it is very likely that this will help you break the ice when it comes time to be in the spotlight later on that day. Pretend that you've been there before many times, you now know some people there, and this may break the ice for you. These people provide positive reinforcement for you.

 

I'm no doctor but a lot of this, I believe, has to do with not being out there enough to get things going your way, instead of others controlling your thoughts and having it go theirs. Don't forget others are doing the same thing, they may just be more aware of it thats all. Like they say, face fear head on, play with it. Once you identify why you have this fear, then things will fall into place, placing you in a position of equals.

 

Just a couple of comments..........

 

Jazzman

[Laurie Z.]

Rabid, I've performed all my life, and can tell you that all of us get some degree of butterflies when we perform. I recommend "imaging" like athletes do - picture yourself successfully completing the performance, getting positive feedback from the audience, and you will find yourself doing better. If you picture yourself failing, you will likely do so - you can talk yourself into it all too easily. Remember that most people won't notice the small mistakes (they're too thrilled that you can play at all and wish THEY could!), and unless you point it out, will think your performance flawless.

 

There's an old, tired saying that "practice makes perfect" - but it's really, really true. Even if you have all the stage fright in the world, if you completely know your part so well that it's in your finger memory and you've completely internalized it, your subconscious can drift and you will still be right on.

 

Remember that even Frank Sinatra said he got butterflies before he performed, even up 'til the end...but it's a combination of practice, adrenaline, and positive inner belief ("I can do it"), that help to nail the show.

 

Good luck!

 

Laurie Z.

www.lauriez.com

[tenthplanet]

Fear, i know it well. I used to get it in many situations including going to the doctor. I would just fall apart. I have learned something over time. Fear is usually fear of the unknown. I used to nerve up at auditions for the theater but when the show was ready to go on I didn't and it was because at that point I knew what i was doing; there was no unknown.

If you believe in yourself and your playing and get pumped up as it has been previously suggested; the unknown dissapears

Try it. (And yes somethings do still freak me out!)

Michael

[Magpel]

Sure. The times fear nicks me the hardest is when I have to sing, the more intimate the situation, the worse. Singing is pure nakedness to me. I'm not a strong singer, but then neither are many of the rock/pop/folk vocalists I admire. One of my favorite singers is Stephen Malkmus from the group Pavement, and his pitch is about as precise as a poorly played theremin. But, of course, limited and bad singers can find the context to be effective and powerful singers. And, ah, ya see, this is where my feelings of fear and inadequacy come in. Not that I don't have a beautiful voice--so what? Does Bob Dylan have a beautiful voice?--but that I haven't found that emotional center or place of power that could make me an effective singer nontheless. This is what I fear an audience will catch on to--that I write clever music and clever words, but that I lack a "wholesome emotional honesty" or something like that. As Dan said it all originates internally. This fear, it is actually acute self-absorption and vanity. Remember, those who are obsessed with feelings of ugliness are just as vain as those obsessed with their own beauty! The external truth is that most people don't really notice or care. And that's probably the hardest truth to swallow. The fear arises when this stuff that *matters* so much, so intensly, to you meets the cool indifference of reality. But enough about me. What about you? What do *you* think of me?

 

As a guitarist who has played in some bands with tricky bits to execute, I also found that exactly two beers--no more--was enough to quash the little fears and free me up. Sure, it's an artifical route to comfort, but it works in a pinch.

 

We could assmeble these responses into a musician's self-help book.

 

But, really, if the fear is that paralyzing to you, you might want to consider a more applied approach to conquering it--studying a relaxation method, therapy (I'm not joking--therapy can really help unravel sh*t like this), or a combination of both, programs to deal with the emotional and physical components of this "problem." I'm not saying you need this, just that I would be willing to try it.

Good luck!

 

John

[cg1155]

The whole concept of stage fright is interesting because it is really just another kind of phobia (an irrational fear). You could try something a little more intense and pre-planned than the previous (excellent) suggestions that might have more lasting effects.

 

It is a well recognized psychological practice called shaping. This is what Psychologists use to cure people of their fear of flying, or of dogs, for example (and it's what I use to cure my dog of the fear of having his nails clipped). What you do is find something that makes you happy - always. It has to be a pretty powerful kind of happy because you are going to match that up against your fear (with my dog I use peanut butter, I hope you find something less messy). You put yourself in that happy place and begin to slowly confront yourself with the fear. Start by just imagining you are doing a recital. Do this for a few days, a few minutes a day. Then do the same but watch tapes of your recitals. Progress to attending recitals and imagining it is your recital. Then find a friend who is doing a recital and be backstage at it pretending it is your recital. You get the idea - the only thing is it takes time and in this case is difficult because recitals are not so easy to come by. Remember that you always have to be in your happy place (goofy, I know) before you confront yourself with your fear.

 

-Casey

[Mark Zeger]

Originally posted by lauriez@lauriez.com:

Remember that even Frank Sinatra said he got butterflies before he performed, even up 'til the end...but it's a combination of practice, adrenaline, and positive inner belief ("I can do it"), that help to nail the show.

 

In Frank's case, add a couple fingers of whiskey, neat, on a stool near the mic to that combination of practice, adrenaline, and positive inner belief that help nail the show. And towards the end, a TelePrompTer.

 

[ 12-06-2001: Message edited by: mzeger ]

[Jeff Klopmeyer]

Everyone has given some great advice on this. I'll add a couple of thoughts.

 

First, I know very few people who claim to have no fear at all about public performances (and suspect those that claim this to be liars). Interesting example: I know that Dave Bryce and I both love to perform in front of an audience, and neither of us have ever let fear stop us from doing so. I can't speak for Dave, but more often than not, I feel that little drop of heat in my stomach and my pulse quicken a bit damn near every time I'm waiting to go on stage. This is after nearly 20 years of gigging.

 

My trick is this: emotional memory. I try and remember the fact that after a short while, I always feel GREAT onstage. I am a competent musician and entertainer (modesty aside, a pretty damn good one on occasion), and I enjoy the reaction of my audience when it's going well. The fear part of it is short-lived, and is much worse before I start my gig than when I'm three notes into the first tune. So I just realize this is normal for me, I get past it and get into the music.

 

I know it sounds easier than it is. The key is to do it a LOT so it becomes second nature.

 

Play, play, play.

 

- Jeff

[CP]

I think the biggest thing about stage fright is the fear of making mistakes in front of others. I am a black belt in martial arts and had to go through years of performing in demonstrations in front of alot of people. I've found that there's two levels of fear:

 

1. Messing up in front of people who know to some extent what you are doing. Whether they trained you or they are students like you. You fear that they are looking for your mistakes because they know how to do it.

 

2. Messing up in front of family and friends who don't know your routine. All they know is that you been sacrificing and practicing for hours. You fear messing up in front of them because you don't want to hear them say that you are wasting your time.

 

However, I found that once I finished, everbody (whether they knew my routine or not) were generally supportive. Even if I messed up, because they recognize it not easy getting up in front of people and performing. The key is to not stop once you mess up. In martial arts I never stopped if I made a mistake, I trained to improvise until I can get back to where I want to go. In music, however, I tend to stop when I make a mistake. A bad habit my teacher is trying to break me out of.

 

I'm sure there are other levels, but these are two I had to deal with. When I did demonstrations in front of strangers, it was easy to get past the butterflies once you got into your routine. Like some have said if everybody could do it, they would be up there doing it to.

[RABid]

Thanks for the intelligent responses. Like others that have mentioned it here, I also fear talking in front of groups. I am forced to work through this. One day I may be speaking to 300 employees about data collection, and the next going to the state capital to discuss issues with a panel of high level government employees. So many people here hit it right on. Probably the biggest headache for me was a very simple song, Just What I Needed by The Cars. It has a very simple but very prominent lead line. The first note is the only note that will work. The song would start and I would be playing the bass line with my left hand and doubling the guitar cords with my right. Those parts did not bother me, but I would immediately start thinking about the first note of the solo. Then uncertainty would build until I could not be sure which note to hit. I knew everyone would immediately know if I hit the wrong note. If I had put a little piece of red tape on that key I cold have avoided a lot of stress.

 

For some reason I never had any fear of playing drums in front of crowds. I can play drums any where in front of anyone and never worry about it. I had plans to major in music in college. Of course when I sat down in front of 5 people who were going to judge my playing and determine my future I made it about 30 seconds before falling apart. I am not sure how much they got out of the first 30 seconds but while reviewing my application the dean called in the head of the percussion department. He handed me a set of mallets, stood me in front of a marimba, and I played two Bach pieces without a worry. It was my first time playing a mallet instrument and they immediately accepted me as a percussion major with a minor in piano. I never went back and vowed never to play piano in front of anyone again. That was a few months before my high school senior recital that I mentioned above.

 

In twenty years of playing in bands I never told anyone. I dont know how many other musicians have the same problem. If you are ever on stage and just as a song is about to start a band member whispers What is the first cord? Dont give them a stupid look, just smile reassuringly and tell them the first cord of the song.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Robert

[coren]

Originally posted by dansouth@yahoo.com:

If you think about it, every time you drive a car, you're doing something far more unnerving. There you really COULD kill someone, including yourself.

 

your gonna instigate another phobia

 

ya i know what your talking about as well, i seem to be the only member of my band that dosent become super super outgoing when we hit the stage. i usually stand in the corner, sometimes in the shadow of the pa, not moving, staring at the neck of my bass. i dont get nervous enough to the point that i make serious mistakes (unless i do one and keep thinking about it) but i used to get pretty nausous.

 

it seems the more the crowd stands there and stares the worse it is, cause playing house partys is fun and relaxing.

 

everybody here has managed to give sage advice on this topic, and theres really not much to say, it just us grabbing onto a fear and not letting it go, when dan south is right, as long as it dosent kill us what do we have to fear.

 

we are always are own worst critic anyways, ill pick up mistakes on my bass that no one else in my band even heard.

and if its original material the crowd wont even realize its wrong anyways...

 

we just have to learn to put ourselves in a comfortable headspace, ALMOST give a mental finger to the idea that the crowd is out to get you and say to yourself this is for me, not for them; my number one goal is to have fun.

[CP]

Ya know, something that really helped me was some advice one of my martial arts teacher gave me. He said when you work out in front of others, you should mentally put yourself in a telephone booth. Meaning you block out all unnecessary sounds and sights, and focus strictly on the task at hand. Not much you can do in a telephone booth except make a call, or change into your superman outfit. Sort of like putting blinders on. You'll be suprised how well that really works.

[MusicaL]

For me, stage fright is a hit and miss routine. It happens some times, but not others, and unfortunately, I can never tell when. In the event I feel those funny feelings, I do what CP suggested. I pretend there's no one else in the room. It works!

 

"Feelings are a by-product of our thoughts."

 

my 2 piastres.

 

Albert

 

[ 12-06-2001: Message edited by: tuttorney ]

[dansouth]

It's important to remember why you're playing in the first place.

 

TO HAVE FUN!!!!

 

So, get out there and have a good time. Your audience wants to feed off of your "fun factor," not criticize you because you missed that Bb in measure 47.

 

For me, it helps get myself a pumped up into as outrageous and flambouyant mood as possible. Don't be embarrassed. People want to see James Brown up there on stage, not Fred Rogers.

 

GET PUMPED UP and HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!!

 

The audience will miss most of your mistakes and forget the rest shortly, but they'll always remember your energy and enthusiasm.

 

Yeah, Baby!!!!!!

 

Damn - I'm ready to go right NOW just thinking about it!

 

[Postman]

If the above suggestions don't do the trick (and they're all good ones), talk to your Doctor about a class of drugs called beta blockers. My father prescribed them for me when I was in college after I had performed poorly in back to back recitals. They did the trick. They removed all of the physical effects of the adrenaline rush without spacing me out in any way. Eventually, I stopped taking them because I found they took too much of the edge off: I started feeling oddly detached from the music, but by that time I had my confidence back and actually valued the adrenaline rush. I haven't felt the need to use them since.

[SFOracle]

Everyone reacts to nervousness differently. I routinely have to pin my right leg between the floor and the bottom of the piano when I have to solo on an acoustic piano - just to stop my leg from shakin me off the stage. Good thing my piano solo technique doesn't usually rely on a lot of sustain pedal pedal action. When I am standing - usually playing synth I just have to shake until I get comfortable.

My brother - who plays mostly bass and guitar gets freezing cold hands before a performance.

 

even worse, I am subject to is brain farts when I am supposed to do the intro to a tune. As usually use the most minimal charts, so I really have to think of what the tune sounds like to get the tempo and style. Sometimes I just forget what the song sounds like and have even had to ask the bass player to hum a few bars.

 

The good news is that you can beat nervousness. Once I get into a gig, and settle down, I am usually a much better live performer than I am at rehersals. I just try to breath deeply a few times and get into the music and have fun, and somewhere early in the set, the nervousness just disapears.

 

Oracle (n): a godlike mystic; dispenser of wisdom.

[marino]

Whew, there seems to be little to add... Rabid, the simple fact that so many musicians HAVE had stagefright should make you feel less alone. Stagefright is very understandable, very human. It's NOT the same than other types of fear: We are musicians, we have a world inside us (hopefully) and we have practiced for years the techniques to bring it to others. Then, in real time, we have our chance to actually DO it, and we're naturally afraid that our voice wouldn't came across well.

I have had so many experiences onstage that almost all stagefright is gone by now. However, till recently, I still had it every time I had to play solo classical music. I could tell you about shaking legs, memory slips, etc... The point is, this is something I seldom do, and of course you start much colder than when you play in a band, or even a chamber group.

 

I read once: Performance = Potential minus Interference.

 

Boy, did I have interferences! The shadows of everybody I had known in my life, plus an army of composers and musicologists, were at my shoulders pointing at my inevitable failure. So I developed a few strategies in order to distract myself and not being obsessed with self-judgement.

For example, sometimes I just pretended to be there to attend the concert. I said to myself, "nice place, nice piano. Somebody should play it perhaps... OK, tonight I'll do it." Silly maybe, but it helped to overcome the sense of responsability.

Another one: If I was already playing and still nervous, I used to concentrate on one point to look at, or maybe one member of the audience. That point or person is my handle, so to speak... my contact with phisycal reality. It worked.

Other times, I just thought, "Fuck you all, I don't care who you are, I know that I know my music, and I'm gonna PLAY it!" This uses your negative energy and turns it into a positive force.

Once, I did twenty minutes of yoga exercises before playing, mostly breathing stuff. It was one of the best concerts of my life.

Then, there's always the occasional pint of beer...

 

And you know what... Stagefright is now gone! TOTALLY gone. At my last solo concert, last september, no trace. And I had to prepare it in one week, AND I had phisycal problems, AND my uncle had died the night before AND I had not slept one minute... But I did play all that damn music till the end without any fear. I was exhausted at the end, but there I stood - myself the musician, the whole package, no interferences. So I know it can be done!

 

Gotta go now - I think my English is worse than usual tonight, I'm seriously tired. Tomorrow, concert!

 

Carlo

 

[ 12-06-2001: Message edited by: marino ]

[dansouth]

Marino's mental imagery tips are great, as are Laurie Z's. That reminds me of something I used to do before (cough, choke, stammer) dance competitions. The room was filled with people who were better and more experienced than I was, so it was quite nerve-racking.

 

To get myself ready, first I made sure that I knew my routine cold. Next, I got myself pumped up into a wild, crazy, HAVE FUN AT ALL COSTS mindset as I mentioned in my previous post. I reminded myself that I was there to have a good time, and although I would try to do as well as I could, I wasn't going to attach my sense of self-worth to a Fox Trot.

 

That all worked fine, but I needed one final ingredient. I wanted to have an edge, an attitude that would keep my mind sharp and clear when the pressure was on. So five or six minutes before I went out on the floor, I would relax, breathe deeply, and imagine myself in the ring with Muhummad Ali. My goal was to *SURVIVE* for sixty seconds in the ring with the champ. I asked myself, "What kind of mental state would I need to be in to survive sixty seconds in the ring with Ali?"

 

Wow, talk about adrenaline! That was all I needed. Once I got the "rush" going, I took a few deep breaths and relaxed. There was no WAY that dancing in front of a few hundred people would be as tough as facing Ali, so I knew that I was going to cruise. And I always did. I had a great time out there and made very few mistakes. And I never ONCE knocked out my dance partner.

 

If I hadn't pumped myself up effectively, I would have been a basket case. Experiment with mental imagery. - I like Marino's "Screw You!" technique. I've used that one to prepare for corporate presentations. - Find what works for you. It's amazing how powerful the right images in your mind can be. If you don't believe it, try going out on stage with images of failure, of messing up, of being embarrassed and humiliated and see what happens.

 

This whole Ali thing - which it ludicrous, but useful - came from an article I read about a famous boxer. He said that before he went into the ring, he had to pump himself up, because if he and ANY negative thoughts in his mind, he was going to get hit.

 

Think about that for a minute. Imagine being put in a situation where a single negative thought will result in you being punched in the face. How hard would you have to concentrate to keep that from happening? How much would you have to pump yourself up with positive thoughts and images, even ludicrous ones? If you can find a way to translate that idea to stage performance, you'll be well on your way to not only managing your fear, but turning it into an edge and an asset.

[Tusker]

Personally, I am going to archive this thread for the wisdom it offers.

 

I used to suffer from 'shaking knee' at the piano as a teenager. Haven't played solo piano in awhile, so I don't know if I still have it. I can still get tongue-tied or embarrassed in front of groups, just for public speaking. These ideas will help.

 

Thanks to all,

 

Jerry

[Botch.]

I rarely get the jitters anymore, playing for a crowd, as mentioned before if you're HAVING FUN that takes care of most of it. The one time I still get nervous, however, is during a "battle of the bands" type situation, when there's two or more other bands sitting in the audience, you KNOW they're going to catch any little error you make (and revel in it!), that still gives me the butterflies, and I suppose it always will.

 

What I find really curious is my nervousness in public speaking. Sometimes I'm almost debilitated with it, sometimes I have NO nervousness. It has nothing to do with the size or composition of the crowd, either. I've breifed a room full of Colonels, a couple Generals, and Chief Master Sergeants with no problem, then the next afternoon I totally lose it briefing just my boss. Weird! I'm anxious to try some of the coping methods discussed here.

 

Finally, be careful with the old recommendation, "Imagine everyone sitting there in their underwear". For the crowds I play for, you'd probably toss your cookies!

[coren]

Originally posted by botch@netutah.net:

Finally, be careful with the old recommendation, "Imagine everyone sitting there in their underwear". For the crowds I play for, you'd probably toss your cookies!

 

Way back in grade 9 my currant guitarist was in another band, and they performed some covers in front of the school. before they started my guitarist went up to the mike and said "I was a little nervous about coming up here, so someone suggested picturing at you all in your underwear; but i just cant take my eyes off Mr.Briker" (gym teacher).

mr.brikers a little bit old fanioned so he didnt think it was that funny, but the rest of us did

 

anyways this thread is amazing..

i used to be very very outgoing way back in grade 10, but i just got judged to many times and became withdrawn, now i dont really talk unless i know you.. sort sucks!

but this thread really makes me want to throw that all away... i mean, who gives a <__> right?

you people are inspiring.

[Magpel]

Another thing that helps me is to remember the many times, too numerous to count, when I thought my band played horrendously and I was later told how great we were or whatever. There is no squaring your own perception of your performance with that of your audience. In olden days, I would respond to such praise like so: "You're kidding, right? We sucked. We were pathetic." Yeah, that's a great thing to say to someone who's just offered you a sincere compliment. Negate it. Now I just smile and say thanks. Of all the people in the room, your perception of the performance is the least reliable and least objective, that is except for the other musicians who are standing in the back with their arms folded, frowning, not enjoying themselves, and thinking, "I could take him." Screw them anyway.

[dansouth]

Originally posted by botch@netutah.net:

What I find really curious is my nervousness in public speaking. Sometimes I'm almost debilitated with it, sometimes I have NO nervousness. It has nothing to do with the size or composition of the crowd, either. I've breifed a room full of Colonels, a couple Generals, and Chief Master Sergeants with no problem, then the next afternoon I totally lose it briefing just my boss. Weird! I'm anxious to try some of the coping methods discussed here.

 

It probably has to do with your state of mind before and during the presentation. You probably psyched yourself up to present before a group that included generals. You may have approached your boss too casually and ended up feeling vulnerable because you weren't really "ON".

 

The underwear idea never worked for me, but I like that kid's quote from the concert. If you can make them laugh, you have established a degree of control over the situation, which always works in your favor.

 

I may have to "borrow" that one.

[joegerardi]

I've surprised at all the answers here because I cannot ever remembering having stage fright.

 

I started performing at age 7 or 8, doing recitals, and in all those years since then I can't remember being afraid to play or perform. (I also did a LOT of acting, too, including at Lincoln Center.) There was always my instructor or tutor telling me the old adages like: "Just picture the audience in their underwear," or "You're the one THEY'RE coming to see." Later in life people said to me: "THEY'RE paying to see YOU!" and my personal favorite: "In the course of a concerto, you're playing upwards of 20,000 notes. Even if you get 200 notes wrong, you're only talking about 1%, and still are 99% perfect..."

 

It worked for me. Whether I was playing for 60 or 6000, it was pretty easy. Of course, I still remember my brother saying that I was little more than a trained monkey, and that's why I was able to go out and play...

 

The bastard!

 

In a larger sense, I think that's why I was able to give it up and not miss it after all these years: It became little more than a job. It was journeyman work to me. It's been 5+ years since I stopped playing out, and I still have no desire to go back to it. Maybe if there was a greater sense of immediacy for me I might miss it more.

 

To balance that, though, I still hate the thought of recording. I'm pissing away the days left to finish my cover tune, and not getting anywhere.

 

Go figure...

[teh dri]

a lot of interesting food for thought

 

with me, its odd. ive had a time on Aropax due to anxiety/panic attacks, not music related. yet with music, nothing makes me happier

 

back in the day of those anxiety attacks, which are oddly genetic in my family (and odd cause we are a stong willed family at that), i thought id have trouble at gigs... more anxiety attacks or whatever

 

yet at some gigs in that time, i didnt even think that way. id rock up with my gear, set up, happily in routine, im in an electronic act by the way, and then perform.

 

performing was typical electronic live set, one part making sure the machines do what they should, the other part performing (playing keyboard, triggering samples, etc etc)

 

it was like being in my element

 

 

so as for the 'happy place/peanut butter' recommendation its a good one.

 

music makes me happy because i have faith in what ive done/am doing. ive learnt to ENJOY the stage-fright mentality, its such a strong excitement you look back on... think of all the times youve had it and how well youve done! it is preferable to being bored isnt it?