Football Jokes

[Ignatius Riley]

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field.

 

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no.

 

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?"

 

The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967."

 

"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?"

 

"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."

 

-------------------------

 

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity. At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks.

 

The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

 

The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

 

At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever, twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,

 

"Cold day in hell, the Falcons must have won the Super Bowl!"

 

--------------------------

 

Ciao,

Iggy

[Mark Zeger]

The other day, I parked my car downtown and forgot that I left a pair of Buffalo Bills tickets on the seat. When I came back, I found that someone had broken into my car and left another pair of Bills tickets.

 

(joke also suitable for residents of Detroit, KC, Dallas, Arizona, and Carolina)

[Magpel]

mzeger, that sounds like a varaint on this one:

 

In Brooklyn they break into your car and steal your radio. In Maine, they breal into your car and leave zuchini...

[Bucktunes]

Or a variation of this one;

 

Guy leaves his accordian in plain sight in the back seat of his car and goes into the store. When he comes out, he sees the back window is broken out. He rushes to his car to assess the damage, and finds two more accordians in the back seat.

 

Peace all,

Steve

[tenthplanet]

Originally posted by Ignatius Riley:

 

 

"Cold day in hell, the Falcons must have won the Super Bowl!"

 

--------------------------

 

Ciao,

Iggy[/QB]

 

Good one! I thought the guy was going to be happy because he thought he was in Green Bay.

Michael

[surfjazz]

the other day i woke up and found that marino had suddenly decided to coach the patriots. i have never slept since.

[Dan O]

Elvis Grbac ........that's a joke in itself !

Dano ....who is trying to stay a RAVENS FAN in BAltimore