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You Know You've Been Hanging Around Synths and Samplers Too Long When:

Rod S

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From another forum...


1. You not only tap in time to the signal indicators on your car, but know exactly how many BPMs they're flashing at.


2. You go to hear a symphony orchestra and while your significant other is listening to the music, you're calculating the polyphony required to reproduce it.


3. Your neighbors are always asking your wife about "those weird noises" coming from your house.


4. In addition to your in and out trays at work, you have one marked 'thru'.


5. Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TB-303.


6. The accelerator on your car has aftertouch.


7. You expect the cutoff frequency of your door to change when you turn the knob.


8. You hear thunder and marvel at how clean the low pass is.


9. Your telephone answering-machine message took 2 days to produce and you're planning on a remix.


10. You keep getting rid of furniture to make room for more gear.


11. Your idea of being productive is to scan the classifieds for cheap midi gear.


12. You're always turning the hot and cold water knobs on the sink looking for that "perfect" mix.


13. Your idea of relaxing is sitting in the dark and watch your rack's lights blink and glow.


14. You perk-up on Sundays when you hear the word "Prophet".


15. You can tell the difference between 12dB/24dB filters by ear.


16. Every piece of clothing you own has a synth manufacturer's logo on it.


17. Synth manufacturers call YOU for technical support.


18. You stop at every garage sale and pawn shop in the hope of finding a Moog 55 for $50 or less.


19. You break out in a cold sweat when you drive past a keyboard store.


20. You carry around a picture of your modular in your wallet that you show everyone at least once.


21. Your monthly power bill is always well in the triple digits.


22. You believe Sampling Rates provide a true, mathematically pure measure of beauty.


23. The afterlife will include never ending opportunties to futs with really awsome synths without ever having to attend to mundane stuff like mowing the lawn.


24. You don't worry about temperature instabilities in some of your older gear because you never turn any of those machines off.


25. You have to start the day by checking the action of bandpass filters and comb filters or else you just don't feel 'normal.'


26. You head for your studio as soon as your girlfriend/wife goes to bed.


27. Your significant other says communication is important in a marriage, so you buy her a new K2600 of her own so the two of you can jam.


28. One day you step out of your studio and realize your family has moved out and you have no idea when it happened.


29. You believe the term "fanatic" would apply to just about anything except the acquisition of synths and samplers.


30. The meaning of "balance" in life has to do with prioritizing everything else in relation to the central importance of synths and samplers.


31. Your spend weeks overhauling your old recordings after you get a new keyboard.


32. You keep going over old Keyboard magazines thinkin you might spot a keyboard you missed somewhere along the way.


33. When you look away from programming your synth, and you still see the images of filters and ADSR's in your eyes.


34. Your video collection consists of synth programming from the first synths.


35. You accidently drop a pot on the ground and know what ring modulator you need to make that sound.


36. You can turn the synth off, and still hear what it would sound like when you play...


Guilty of 3,10,13,19,23,26,29,30,31,32

Korg Kronos X73 / ARP Odyssey / Motif ES Rack / Roland D-05 / JP-08 / SE-05 / Jupiter Xm / Novation Mininova / NL2X / Waldorf Pulse II


American Deluxe P-Bass, Yamaha RBX760

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Guilty of:


8, (As I write this actually. We're getting an hellacious storm!)

10, (As I write this. See other post!)


13, (I used to LOVE looking at them on a dark stage before a gig.)


17, (Mainly players and techs.)

19, (If gazing longingly counts.)

26, (When I had one.)

32, (In the past, before Keyboard went down the toilet.)

Setup: Korg Kronos 61, Roland XV-88, Korg Triton-Rack, Motif-Rack, Korg N1r, Alesis QSR, Roland M-GS64 Yamaha KX-88, KX76, Roland Super-JX, E-Mu Longboard 61, Kawai K1II, Kawai K4.
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