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near death experiences

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A while ago I mentioned this in passing and at least Ted was curious

so maybe there are others too.

In 1984 when I was 33, I had mine. Light, tunnel, etc. then I suddenly was in the presence of my aunt (dead for 10 years at the time) in a place that seemed gray and without definition. She proceded to give me sort of a dissertation on my life in particular.

The short version of what she said goes something like this:


"You are not who you think you are and your chosen purpose for living at this time will be revealed to you after the age of 40 ... You must however

continue your search with your current frame of reference in order to eventually make that discovery ... The answers to your many questions about

life and death will be given to you in time, but the most important thing

to remember is that your quest to be the best has nothing to do with being better than another person .. this understanding is fundamental to all

human beings and the accepted belief in the opposite is the root of all

earthly problems .. in fact all belief systems created by man's mind are nothing but obstacles to his growth .. the day will come when your inner frustration and your ill found trust in your beliefs will force you to

look to your inside for answers .. it is there you will find them and begin

an exciting life of discoveries."


Right about then I remember getting ready to butt in and ask a 1000

questions, when the most incredible thing happened. A 'feeling' came over me as if an open parachute were slowly dropped with me in it's center.

I couldn't move, talk, or even think. All the heroin and sex in the world

times a hundred doesn't describe that feeling. At that moment she began

to fade and with a look of total joy on her face, she said:

"This is love in it's purest form .. it awaits you and all people

regardless of their errors or convictions during life .. you are being

reminded of it's beauty as a gift for your dedication .. and because many

will benefit from your telling of this experience."


Much of what she said I'm still figuring out but one thing has been set in stone since that day .. there is absolutely zero reason to fear death.


Any other stories out there?

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Wow -- that *is* spooky.


Not to be funny or to take away from your amazing story, but the closest I've ever gotten to a near-death experience was running a marathon last year. It was 86 degrees and humidity was at 90%... Definitely not ideal running conditions, since your body is typically 20 degrees warmer than the outside temperature when you run. It was a "red flag" race, which meant if it had been any hotter, they would have to cancel it.


*Any* marathon is a test of your will to live, but this one in particular was the worst imaginable! Death did seem to be a pretty attractive option around mile 20 or so. http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif


Around mile 24, there was some freshly-laid tar on the road which -- I found out later -- made the temperature in that part of the course upwards of 100 degrees... I started the race hoping to beat my previous best time, but I ended up just being glad to finish the thing alive.


In a race like that, you essentially get reduced to focusing on just the basic human needs... All that matters is that you drink water, eat food, stay cool, ignore pain, and keep going. You also are forced to confront your ambitions, like how bad do you really want to finish this race?


The dialog in your head doesn't think in English sentences anymore... Like I said, you kind of revert to just the basics of being human. It's not necessarily "fun", but it's a good reminder to have every once in a while in life, I think. Kind of like needing to see some sort of drama every now and then instead of watching comedies all the time.


I think the experience has helped me with music, in any case... No matter what setbacks or obstacles I might come across, I can always tell myself it was a heck of a lot better than that stupid marathon!!! (Can't wait to do it again next year, though... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif )




This message has been edited by popmusic on 07-17-2001 at 03:11 PM

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My grandfather died like ten years ago, he used to smoke Winstons and used a zippo lighter....unmistakeable odor. There have been some tough times where I've immediately thought of my grandfather wishing he was still around to get advice from, and had one instance where I've seen my dogs look upward above us and detected a faint smell of Winston's getting fired up with a zippo lighter. I always wondered if that was all in my mind or real......

I've had some other more pointed experiences concerning my own life, but I think I'll save those for one on ones.....a little too personal.

Down like a dollar comin up against a yen, doin pretty good for the shape I'm in
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Those stories don't surprise me at all. Since '84 I've read many things and talked to people and I'm thinking now that my type of experience

happens many different ways. I think it's about 'what ever gets your




My wife's mother just died May 19. The night we returned home from

the wake our living room wreaked of her perfume - something we had not

smelled since her last visit over a year ago.

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Almost forgot, this had a drastic effect on me musically too.

Before that I was strictly doing hard-ass rock. Fast and furious

from 9 to 1. Afterwards, I turned completely around and started

exploring blues and country. Really listening to lyrics and voice expression by Bonnie Raitt, Merle Haggard, and others. People around me were shocked at the change. Go figure.

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After work, I have to drive directly to play music for a young lady's memorial service, who died of cancer last Sunday. She was only in the sixth grade. It'll be hard, but this is a celebration of her life, so I hope that I play "good" for her.......

It was an honor to be asked to play. Her name is Ashley Hewitt, of Virginia Beach, Virginia.

Down like a dollar comin up against a yen, doin pretty good for the shape I'm in
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I lived in V.Beach for awhile .. I love that town.


I think you've got the right perspective, strat. A celebration

of her life is the way to look at it. I'm sure you'll do fine.

(At the risk of offending someone unintentionally), try opening yourself

up to the possibility of her 'speaking' through your music.

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I don't think that I was ever near death .. I used the NDE phrase

because it encompasses this type of experience.

I think mine falls into the '10 percent or less' catagory. 10 percent

or less of NDE's do not include the usual light, tunnel, severe pain,

accident, scenario. They occur seemingly in conjunction with a sudden change in the physical body's 'habits'. Mine happened when I was practicing

deep breathing tequniques. I had just gotten into things like meditation,

interest in Eastern philosophies, spirituality concepts, fasting, etc.

Yes, I've wondered about it being an induced hallucination .. only thing

is, if you knew me then, you'd see that those words would never come from me. I can't think of another source for that kind of rhetoric.

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I appreciate your mentioning this subject. It is a difficult subject for people to face because only those who have experienced this sort of thing can truly understand that you are NOT crazy or dumb or weird. It's easy to make fun of things like life after death until you have personal experiences that bring your belief systems into question.


I have had enough incidents in my life to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there are things going on out there about which we are totally clueless. I care not to elaborate here, but suffice it to say that I also believe there are some fairly straightforward, physics-oriented explanations of many of these phenomena. And I don't mean that they "explain away" the phenonmenon, but rather, that they show that these "out of the ordinary" experiences are something we simply don't understand yet, much like people in the middle ages didn't understand the concept of electricity, or DNA. Back in ancient times, think of how people interpreted the concept of an eclipse vs. how we look at them today.


BTW I don't necessarily think that was your aunt, any more than a radio signal is the CD that's being played. You're starting to get into a realm that's more energy-related, and as we've been told time and time again, energy can be neither created nor destroyed...perhaps this concept is at the cornerstone of religious concepts like an "immortal soul" and "reincarnation."


Also, I think it's important to realize that music touches on non-physical realms. But that's a whole other subject.


Stop me before I start getting specific.........!!

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I am a non believer... and all of this is a question of Faith.

Nice story, though.


However, I have always present this: I WANT TO BELIEVE

Whatever: UFOS, Life After Death, Gnomes, Ghosts... God...

Músico, Productor, Ingeniero, Tecnólogo

Senior Product Manager, América Latina y Caribe - PreSonus

at Fender Musical Instruments Company


Instagram: guslozada

Facebook: Lozada - Música y Tecnología



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In 1982, I was attacked by three young men as I waited for a bus at the Philadelphia city line.


Long story short, I was stabbed in the chest with what turned out to be a World War II era bayonet.

The only reason I am alive today is because this happened only two blocks from a hospital emergency room.

I was 'flatline' at the scene when the police arrived, resucitated on the way to the hospital, and flatlined twice more while at the hospital, before finally being stabilized.


I can only tell you this. I saw no light...no tunnel...no loved ones.

I did, however, feel the most incredible peace. An end of pressure that I was not aware of carrying on shoulders all at once...lightened.


After being brought back the first time at the hospital, I was apparently able to talk, though I do not remember this.

I was told I said "Call my father...tell him it's just fine here...and call my boss...tell him I'm sorry I won't be at work tomorrow".


I do recall being extremely upset the next day when I awoke in the hospital. I cursed the nurses and doctors for not letting me go. I never felt so angry and cheated in my life.


I've often told people that it was both the best- and worst thing that ever happened to me, for two reasons.

I will never fear death again. And sometimes...I still get angry.



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they say [doctors/scientists] that the "light at the end of the tunnel" is actually your brain synapses dying and the electrical charge the expel causes the flashes of light.


i have played around death at one point of my life [bout 8 years ago]. lsd and nitrous oxide present quite a conflict to your brain. its like looking in the window of death. this all knowing feeling rushes over you, the weight that you carry disappears. we used those punch balloons with those trippy patterns on them, one time i literally sucked this existance into my mouth. the experience is like no other.


i had some strange experiences though, people would think i was crazy if i elaborated as if they dont already. once a friend and i left this plane of reality and came back minutes later, very weird. freaked us both out for hours afterwards.



"if god is truly just, i tremble for the fate of my country" -thomas jefferson

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We all find out sooner or later...the truth. So specualtion is just that. I personally appreciate the stories having been through the same in my own life, can I explain it? No, but so what. It is what it is...to me.....maybe that's nature's way of calming us in our time of extreme stress or our own death.....or maybe it is actually what folks say it is.....a passage to the hereafter with greetings from the "occupants" there already. I'd like to believe it's the latter. Before long I'll get an answer. Hopefully not too soon.....but who knows?
Down like a dollar comin up against a yen, doin pretty good for the shape I'm in
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"BTW I don't necessarily think that was your aunt, any more than a radio signal is the CD that's being played. You're starting to get into a realm that's more energy-related, and as we've been told time and time again, energy can be neither created nor destroyed...perhaps this concept is at the cornerstone of religious concepts like an "immortal soul" and "reincarnation."



I agree totally .. (I'm always unsure of how much to include with these


Since then I dove head first into the whole 'other world' thing .. soul,

reincarnation, UFO's, other dimensions, the works. It is my conclusion

so far that 2 things are accurate: 1 - all of these ideas/subjects are

interelated somehow .. and 2 - we are aware of less than one percent of

true reality. From there you can explore in any direction, but these 2

assumptions seem to keep me opened for any learning.

Also, my studies on dreams seem to show that experiences beyond the

'contained' 3 dimensions occur in terms of symbols. We use these symbols to travel from point A to Z in our learning journey. In fact, it looks

probable to me that ALL perceived reality is simply illusion made up of symbols. With this in mind it's irrelevant whether I actually saw my aunt

or not. The point was to deliver a message to me.



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The most popular show on the Sci-fi Network is: Crossing Over with John Edwards.


If what John does is "real", he's able to facilitate messages from people who have died and crossed over to the "other side". The show claims that he has no prior knowledge of the people he "reads" and a recent MSNBC special sought to test this by having him do a "reading" for two women MSNBC picked and who John had no prior relationship with. He was able to successfully "connect" with one of the women's deceased husband, identify the illness that caused his demise, and more specific info that in a later interview, she said he could not have known.


MSNBC also sent the two women to meet with two other known "psychics" who also were able to identify an impressive number of "facts" about the man and his illness and death.


I don't think MSNBC had any reason to fabricate any of this, in fact, it would have been a bigger story if they had been able to poke holes in the reputations of these folks...


Anyway, if it's true, then there IS another side. Cool!


John doesn't talk about "religious issues" ...no God or angels... but he does say that the people on the other side maintain their "love bonds" with those they left behind and he indicates that people who have crossed over can "see" what's happening with their loved ones here on terra firma.


I'm not sure if I completely believe all this, but it's certainly tempting to do so... I recently lost my Dad, and I'd really like to believe he's OK and is "watching over" me, and my family.


Has anyone had any experience with any "real psychics"? Not the Psychic Hotline variety... http://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gifhttp://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gifhttp://www.musicplayer.com/ubb/biggrin.gif



I'm still "guitplayer"!

Check out my music if you like...



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"I think a lot is known about reality - it is just too complicated for the average person to grasp - too much math and science involved - and reading, so it is easier to dwell on the Mystical Shit."


Steve, just to claify (not to convince or toss semantics),

you'll note I said 'true reality'.

The idea is that we know tons about reality in terms of 5 physical

senses and our finite minds, but we're just barely becoming aware of

the big picture. Sort of like an ant on beachball; only from a distance

can he accurately see his tiny role.

It's also suggested that people in history with so-called 'extra special

abilities' (like Jesus for example), were able to acheive seeming miracles

because they found the key that unlocks our restriction to physical laws.

Of course if true, there are plenty of people with a lot to lose if it got out.

But that's another can of worms.

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i'd like to share this with you.in january 2000 a very strange thing happened to me.one night i went to bed and i started

feeling a strange tension in my body,like there was something pushing me

inside-out.my eyes were shut and an image appeared:it was a huge

eye staring at me.not a human eye,it was more like the kind of eye you see in egyptian hyerogliphics.it looked a bit like this:

after a short while i felt like i could perfectly control my breathing...

it felt like i could stop my heart beating if i wanted,and then i started feeling this incredibly beautiful sensation.like i was being comforted by someone...i can't really explain this one.

the whole experience lasted 5 minutes or so...

at that time i used to practise deep breathing and various other relaxation techniques,so i think it might be related to that.

i really don't know what happened ,but i can assure you it felt and was REAL.

for the whole week after i was scared that i could get back to that state,but it's never happened again since,and i'm glad about that.

actually i don't practice deep breathing anymore.

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I don't think it's a coincidence that many so called "geniuses" such as Einstein have expressed what could be called spititual beliefs. Science seems to tell us what happens with great detail but makes no attempt to find out why there is such predictability and order in the universe. The beauty of the mathematical order of the physical universe is inspirational. It is often mistakenly thought that science has all the answers. It would be more accurate to say that a pursuit of science yields more questions than answers when you realise that there is no explanation for fundamental causes of existence. Even accepting the existence of the universe as a complete accident is a very big leap of faith and certainly no one has offered any attempt to prove it. The "Big Bang" and the apparent spontaneous creation of all the matter in the universe almost instantaneously is not something I would casually pass off as if it were an everyday occurance. As a matter of fact the more I think about it the more filled with awe and wonder I become, it challenges the imagination. The fact that we exist in it as sentient beings is not something to be taken for granted either. Just because science can describe the mechanisms which underly the physical world does not detract from it's beauty for me. It only adds to it. Hey, I still get goosebumps from guitar feedback never mind the Big Bang!



Mac Bowne

G-Clef Acoustics Ltd.

Osaka, Japan

My Music: www.javamusic.com/freedomland

Mac Bowne

G-Clef Acoustics Ltd.

Osaka, Japan

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>Any other stories out there?<


My oldest sister died many years ago at the age of 11, I never knew her.

She is resting on a very nice peaceful little cemetery just on the outside of a small town.


The road to this cemetery is near the main access road of this town and I've passed this road thousands of times.


A few years ago I was driving near this place and suddenly I got this strange feeling. The weather was beautiful and it felt like I was forced to go to this cemetery, so I did.


I didn't know exactly where to look for my sister but I've been there before many years ago so after a while I found the place where she is.


I stood there a few minutes and this feeling got stronger, I can't explain it in English, but I was in a lot of pain emotionally.


Suddenly two men stood beside me and one of them asked me: sir, do you have family or relatives who are buried here? I said: yes, my sister is resting just here.


Oh he said, well these graves are being removed within a few weeks and if you want your sister to be re-buried you can get in touch with- and he gave me a name and telephone number.


When I got home I realized this couldn't be a coincident, the chance of that must be one in a million.


So I took care of things because I'm sure she must have called me and now she is resting again almost on the same spot.


Peace to all of you.

The alchemy of the masters moving molecules of air, we capture by moving particles of iron, so that the poetry of the ancients will echo into the future.
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I think very little is known about reality, actually. We don't even know the basic mechanics of dreams, let alone pre-cognitive ones.


One of my weirder wake-up calls was when I was a passenger in a car that ended up going off the road and rolling over. As the car made impact, for a fraction of a second I was above the wreck, looking down at me lying between the car and the ground. Then I was back in my body, but there was this big "snap" when they reconnected that was not *at all* pleasant. It was not due to movement during the the accident, as the car had already stopped, but SOMETHING weird happened. After that point, I stopped doubting people who claimed to be able to leave their bodies (but I don't know how they deal with the coming back in, that "snap" was a major drag).


It's like I never believed in ghosts until I ran into one. Still haven't figured that one out. And there was something really strange when my Dad died. Minutes after he died, a friend of mine called my mom to express his sympathy. My mom wanted to know how he knew, and he said that he saw my Dad at the foot of his bed. But wait, there's more...


This happened around 8 AM in the morning. Around 10 AM I felt something very strange in my house, and heard a voice with his distinct characteristics say "I'll be able to help for at least a little bit," as clearly as if he was standing there. It didn't seem to be a sound "in my head," it seemed to emanate from a point source. That was all I heard, and I just wrote it off as wishful thinking. But then I then called my ex-wife to let her know, who was very close with my Dad. She said that around 9 AM the strangest thing had happened to her: she always said my Dad had a particular scent, and she was surprised when she smelled that scent and felt warmth on her cheek. She had no idea what it was, but then I told her that Dad had died that morning. What's also interesting is that the 8 AM "sighting" was in Southern California, and my friend is an artist, so he "saw" something. My ex-wife was in the SF Bay Area, and she's a very tactile/touchy-feely type person, so she got the scent and breath. I lived further north of her, and I guess being an audio guy, I heard him.


It was as if he was making the rounds, going from south to north, manifesting in whatever way seemed most appropriate.


When he was dying, I said that I was really curious what happened after death, and if he could give some kind of insight, that would be our last "science experiment" together. I still don't know what to think of all this, but I don't think I've ever seen it described in any textbook.


To me, this doesn't prove the concept of life after death or anything. But the triangulation among three people, two of whom had no idea my father had died, was something I just couldn't dismiss.


I've had lots of unusual experiences, certainly enough to make me think there's far more to reality than we comprehend. I believe also that music provides some sort of connection with all this in ways we don't really understand.


I'm sure the things we experience now as strange or miraculous will be considered totally pedestrian centuries from now. I have no problem believing that the "flash of light" is your brain closing down. I have a much harder time explaining away the events surrounding my father's death.

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I had a bad allergic asthma attack,(alone) I just managed to call an ambulance in time and a mainlined shot, saved me just in time. While I was waiting for the ambulance I was looking at a wall and I thought, is that my last sight? A fucking wall?


Swiftly on to more soulful stuff.


The singer of a band I was managing & producing told me a story about his brother who fell down a mountain while climbing it in the Himalayas. His father, a Vicar (priest) was unable to fly out from London to be by his dying son's bed but his sister was, he told her to hold her hand over his very damaged body at a specific pre arranged time. He prayed and transmitted his prayer across the world to his daughters hand into his sons body. Confounding all the doctors the lad survived. The singer wrote a song about it called Visible From Space and it's never failed to bring a tear to my eye when I see them perform it.


The singer is brilliant - his name is Simon Petty the band is called MINIBAR and after flying over from London to do a few gigs in the US they were 'spotted' at a Viper Room show in LA and signed up. They have toured with the Jayhawks, live in the US full time now and are really something special, check em out... Track 10!








Producer Julian Standen

London, UK,

Come hang here! http://www.gearslutz.com

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ok, so i have read this thread since this morning and thinking about whether i wanted to share my experience.


i will:


my grandpa was my soulmate, i believe. we always had something to talk about. he was a mining engineer for the good ol' u s of a. he was a literal thinker, and a problem solver. we are similiar in these respects, however i have an element that he did not have, music. he had a tin ear. he liked to hear me play, but i think it was because he could see that playing an instrument was a detailed craft that took hard work and skill rather than that he enjoyed the music. i guess i dont know for sure.


my grandpa died in 1995 after his second heart attack. this was a bad thing for my family, it took a while to adjust. he left a huge mess in his house which while i have worked on cleaning it for years, i have but put a dent in it. i have literally hauled dumpster loads out of the basement, but you cant tell i was ever in there.


when my grandpa died, it was during a hard time in my life; the person i thought i would spend my life with and devoted about 6 years to ran off with someone. while this event is not uncommon, it was a turning point in who i am now. i have no idea where she is or what has happened to her. sometimes i remember life then, but i try not to. this was a devastating thing for me, and i failed at various things in my life because i allowed myself to slip into a bizarre reality where everything i saw was bad, i had no trust for anyone, even my parents, and i thought i would never be anything but miserable.


then, the one person i had a strong relationship with died.


it was too much for me, and i stopped caring about anything. i stumbeled into drugs, i drank to much, i lost my job (big deal it was a stupid job, and i had to learn how to live all over again. i am still learning.


all during this time back then i had been having dreams like i normally did, but with one exception. my grandpa would always interupt my dreams. maybe once a week at first. he would just interupt what i was doing in my dream, i would look over and he would be standing there. he was in a different hue than the rest of the dream, out of place in the scene. he would just look at me as if he couldnt figure out what to say.


i found this odd, but i did not think it was him, i thought it was just a dream and meant nothing. something I made up.


but it never scared me, in fact i was always comfortable when i saw him. i would be immediatly distracted in my dream and give him no further thought until i awoke. i saw him for split seconds at a time.


this went on for a while, in fact i think 3 years.


new years eve 1998 my wonderful dog died from old age. she had a sister who died earlier from old age. she was a wonderful dog, and i miss her still. but i was never the least bit hurt or angry that she died. she was very old, and suffered from it. i was relieved when she died.


during this three year time my life got worse. i drank way to much. i did to many drugs. i found pro tools and made it my existence, my only existence. i only did pro tools. and drank, and smoked. i had a few destructive relationships that were sour, because i was too mad at everything still. nothing worked, and i didnt care.


shortly after my dog died, maybe a month or two, my grandpa entered my dream again, for the last time.


in the dream i was alseep in my bed, in a house i had been in when i was 2 years old. i remember it perfectly, the dream that is. i could see myself in the dream, i was asleep. i awoke in the dream and went into my head to see out of my eyes. i knew i was asleep in the real world, and i knew this was a dream. it was weird, knowing your dreaming. i looked in the doorway and saw my off - hue grandpa like i had a hundered times before, but he was with my dog, and my dog was young and well, and happy. (i am tearing up now). anyway, this time he had my full attention. he had finally figured out how to show me something, i am not sure if it was becuase he had my dog, or because i was ready to see him, or if he figured out better how to communicate, but he had my attention and i knew he had been trying for 3 years to tell me something.


he seemed to be in contact with my dog, who in real life he did not like and yelled at alot. they did not talk, but it was more like they were one being that was in the shape of my grandpa and my dog.


what he gave me next changed my life forever.


he could not talk in my dream, but he gave me an emotion, like he placed it inside me, that told me everything he had learned in his life plus a little bit after he died.


the emotion he gave me was as intense as being messed up off a drug, but it was such a positive feeling. what it told me was this:


in my life, if i never ever have a relationship with a woman it does not matter. i have not missed anything. my life would not be incomplete. i do not need to feel bad about what happened between me and my partner, i do not need to find another one. that is not my purpose in life. but if i do find someone to be with, that is good and well, and i should abide by all the promises i make to here and live my life in a way that i was raised to belive is right. it does not matter that i have been hurt, it does not matter that i did such bad things to myself. if i want to be happy, i have to learn, learn, learn, so i can understand things. new things. i need to accomplish things, for myself. i need to live for myself. i need to find things in my life that allow me to be fulfilled and happy, without anyones approval.


this was all conveyed to me in a split second, through a sensation, not words.


i understood in this dream that this was real, but it was not my grandpa or my dog, that is only what i could understand to see (does that make sense?) i understood that there was no more "my grandpa" and there was no more "my dog". i understood that they are now something i am not yet able to understand, like they are one with something. i think the part that was my grandpa saw i was suffering and needed to show me i was wrong to be miserable. it just took three years.


as they left my dream i understood through another feeling that i would never see them again. this did not make me sad. i felt that they were tired from trying to talk to me, and tired from trying to look like things i could understand, and that i didnt need them anymore.


i awoke then, and i felt peace for the first time in three years. i have not been unhappy since. i do not need drugs, or beer anymore. i LIKE them, but do not need them.


after that happened i no longer considered myself a part of the religion i was previous to this. i understand more now.


i am happy now. i am normal again. this took years to happen, but i am greatful it did.


i am left with a feeling that when i do something i can be proud of, my grandpa knows and is proud too.


i recently told my mother about this, and she told me she had a similiar experience very shortly after he died. she saw him and he TALKED to her, she told me he said "i am still here, but no one can see me, why cant anyone see me?" this kinda spooked my, because i could not really see him at first. this made too much sense to me.


after reading you guys' comments like this i had to share, because you guys really struck home with what happened to me.


thanks for reading!

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Originally posted by ricknbokker:

I can only tell you this. I saw no light...no tunnel...no loved ones.

I did, however, feel the most incredible peace. An end of pressure that I was not aware of carrying on shoulders all at once...lightened.




Steve -

My experience was similar. I was very high in a tree (both ways; I'd smoked a doobie and was about 65 feet up) reading a Mad magazine when I was 16 years old (in 1971). When I started climbing down, the branch broke and I fell headfirst the whole way.


On the way down, I experienced a lengthening of time and relived my entire life. When I hit, I felt no pain, but slowly rose away from my badly crumpled body. The scenery faded slowly to black, then increased to an extremely intense blue-black color. There was no sound, no feeling, no heat, no pain, no anger, no regret, only an all-encompassing objectivity that held no judgement. The physical world has no frame of reference to draw an analog to it, so it is extremely difficult to describe.


I encountered someone, some thing, who communicated with me without words. Whole concepts simply appearred to me, though I could tell this was the source, the same as if someone was pointing out a picture to me.

It communicated that there was a regret that those still stuck in life had so badly mistaken and screwed up the idea of spirituality and of grace; but that life's hungers and passions and drives made it unavoidable, and that there is no way to bring this to the living.


It 'said' "you made a mistake, your time is not yet come. You have things that you are destined to do, that your children are destined to do. You must return to your body and to life"


I was trying to avoid it, because everything was so peaceful and beautiful, and I remembered my broken body back there, and didn't want to go back to it and feel the pain. But I had no choice.


I then felt a spark occur in each and every individual fibre or cell of my body as I returned to it. It felt like the pins and needles of a numb limb 'waking up', but much more intense.


Eventually I awoke, and began the torturous trip back to the farmhouse about a mile away. The back of my head was spongy, my wrist was broken and bent at a weird angle, and it really *hurt* to breathe, and to move at all. I figured I broke a few ribs.

When I got home, and my sister drove me to the hospital in town, I found I had broken (actually, crushed) 4 vertebrae between my shoulder blades. The Xray looked like gravel where the bones used to be.


This experience had a profound effect on my outlook on life. I no longer need to believe in spirituality, because firsthand knowledge means belief is not necessary. I am no longer frightened of death, and never will be again; the only fear is the consequence of my death on those who I leave behind. I had recurrent dreams of my 'encounter' for ten years, then I finally woke from it one night and wrote it out in a song. Since then, it has not returned.


But I still look forward to some day returning there, when it *is* time.






Tangent Music

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