Does Music Demand Sacrifice?

[Wrave]

I am trying to get back into music after several years. I devote all of the time I can find to practicing my instruments, studying recording techniques, learning to use my DAW, trying to learn to get an acceptable mix, just trying to pick up where I left off. My desire is very high because of my love of music. But, and I made reference to this in another thread, my friends seem to resent my "ritual" as they call it. I guess I do spend more time by myself than a lot of folks. But, I love what I am doing. Is it is a sacrifice to be different and to give up whatever it is that other folks do with their time, maybe rebuild old corvettes or plant petunias or go to the movies or out to the bars drinking to spend my time as I do? My friends seem to think so, mostly sometimes I think because I am single and don't enjoy going out sniffing around and they seem to think I ought to be trying to find a mate. But I'm not ready to play the silly games out there any more. Like I said, I love what I am doing. It doesn't feel like a sacrifice to me. What about you? Do you make sacrifices for your music?

[Jotown]

Ah, Grasshopper, The secret of happiness is to make you vacation your vocation. Anything worth doing well requires some sort of sacrifice but if you are following your heart it doesnt feel like one (Most of th3e time anyway). Jotown:)

[Groovepusher Sly]

Are your friends paying you to do something else? Are they self made millionares or independently wealthy people, who feel they can teach you how to attain enough wealth to be able to do what you love? It's no sacrifice for you, it's joy. They probably just miss you a little. Don't worry about it, real friends are forever, so... Gwon, do yo thang! Sly :cool:

[David R.]

[quote]Originally posted by wrave: [b]Is it is a sacrifice to be different and to give up whatever it is that other folks do with their time, maybe rebuild old corvettes or plant petunias or go to the movies or out to the bars drinking to spend my time as I do? [/b][/quote]Depends on who you hang out with. My musician friends might think I am wasting time when working on my motorcycle. There is sacrifice involved if you want to spend time doing anything peticular. I sacrifice girlfriend time to play music and sacrifice music to be with my girlfriend. Go with what makes you a better person. Then everyone wins. (there really should be a graemlin made of cheese here...Khan?)

[Gtoledo3]

If you work 20 hours out of the day, seven days a week, there is about no way for you to not be succesful. Anything short of that, you're just not doing yourself justice :) Even though I say that tongue in cheek, there is a lot of truth in that.

[henryrobinett]

I don't sacrifice nearly enough any more. My high school friends never could understand me. I used to decline going to parties and hanging out sometimes by saying, "Thanks, but no. I've got to practice." I think there's also a jealously. The envy comes in from you having a passion and their own sense of possible failures at not having dedicated themselves to something gets in the way of appreciating your efforts. Then again this notion of dedication may be so far afield some just think you're shining them on and may take it personal. Yes music takes a sacrifice. Like anything in life, it's work. Sometimes it's fun and sometimes it's not. Just as in relationships. Sometimes the fun wears off, but if that's when you bail you'll NEVER find anything or anyone worthwhile. The true dividends won't start to show up until you've put real effort behind it.

[The Bear Jew]

I don't think playing music requires a sacrifice. Generally, making a sacrifice in this sense means that you're giving up something else you value for your music (hangout time with buddies, watching tv, dates, buying music gear instead of home furnishings, etc). Well, if you value your music, NOT playing would be the sacrifice. In actuality, you have to sacrifice music time when you do non-music stuff. I think the "sacrifice" thing always comes from the outside -- it comes from others who don't understand our dedication to music. They think because we spend time rehearsing, recording, gigging, etc, that we're "missing out" on things in life. The key here is that while we may be missing out on things in life that THEY think are important, we're NOT missing out on the things in life that WE think are important. It's a subjective thing. Don't let anyone tell you you're missing out -- this is the only life you've got right now, so do what you want with your time, regardless of what they tell you.

[Jedi]

[quote]Originally posted by Henryrobinett I think there's also a jealously. The envy comes in from you having a passion and their own sense possible failures at not having dedicated themselves to something gets and this gets in the way of appreciating your efforts [/quote]I've felt this way, also. I have a lot of imaginative creative friends, but many of them have not applied that creativity to a craft. So sometimes, it feels like they're a little envious when I'm busting my ass. As far as sacrificing, Let's see...... I've sacrificed wasting my MONEY at bars, wasting my MONEY at clubs, wasting my TIME at bars, wasting my TIME at clubs, wasting my TIME playing dominoes, video games, talking shit. Seems like that bullshit is the real sacrifice( or vice). Sometimes, you do need to get out and smell some life, but that's after a month of a GT3 schedule :D . Plus, playing out seems to bring a lot of life experience for me to write about. I'll quote one of my favorite author's philosophy Joseph Campbell, "Follow your bliss." Jedi

[ZA]

Sounds like you need some musician friends. I mean, these boards are great but there's only so much support you can get through the internet. That said, keep doing what you need to do. Hopefully at some point those friends will be impressed by your work and come around. --za

[ernest828]

I`m 29, married with one child on the way. I`m a professional musician. Music gave me everything in my life including meeting my wife, every job I have ever had and everything I own. When I was a child I declined hanging out with friends because I wanted to practice. In High School, I would rather practice or join an after school music group than go out with friends and throughout college I would much rather spend time and money on gear, rehearsing with the band than travel the world which I could have done. Don`t regret any of it and would do it again. DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW Peace, Ernest

[Tedly Nightshade]

I'd like to believe that. The better the music, the bigger the sacrifice that is required: The Rite of Spring is so good it calls for a human sacrifice.

[alphajerk]

a chicken will sometimes do but some sessions call for a pig.

[koolkid]

at this point of my life im beginning to feel that sacrifice is entirely over rated.. have fun,do what you love and success will follow.i think the notion that we have to suffer fools and foolishness to get ahead is not true

[henryrobinett]

[quote]Originally posted by koolkid: [b]at this point of my life im beginning to feel that sacrifice is entirely over rated.. have fun,do what you love and success will follow.i think the notion that we have to suffer fools and foolishness to get ahead is not true[/b][/quote]True I think to a certain extent. I mean I don't believe in the hogwash about the suffering artist. But I DO think hard work and dedication are the hallmark of the accomplished artist. I don't think ther's any way around it. In the end it may be no more dedication than the hours of a nine to fiver but it does take work and perseverance.

[Kendrix]

Wrave, Many of us on this forum have been exactly where you are at. You are about 5 years behind me on this. My family did get annoyed at my obsession. Over time they have come to better understand the depth and nature of my drive to do music. This has helped. Just try to explain it to them in terms of some activity that they are in love with. It was also necessary for me to moderate a bit. This kind of happened naturally. In the beginning I really was obsessed and sucked into the studio to an extreme. NOw some of that is out of my system - it comes in waves. However, I now find it beneficial to step away at periodically to re-charge and get perspective.

[henryrobinett]

[quote]Originally posted by Kendrix: [b]My family did get annoyed at my obsession. Over time they have come to better understand the depth and nature of my drive to do music. This has helped. Just try to explain it to them in terms of some activity that they are in love with. [/b][/quote]Well try to explain to whomever. Some may never get it. I had a few old girlfriends who never did. I STILL wonder whether my wife does or not. My mother never did. Explain as much as I tried. But they have one and all resigned themselves to it and accepted that this is who I am. But this was in the days before midi and being able to jump into home studios. I obessed on my guitar, locking myself in my room for 6 hours every day FOR YEARS. I'm glad I did and I'm glad that that is, for the most, part behind me now.

[Mr. Downchild]

I agree with the above posts that say its only a sacrifice when considering the angle. I also went through the early years of obsessive practicing for 8-12 hours a day. As a result most of my friends felt that I was 'stuck up' or standoffish because they couldn't understand why I would rather be alone in my room with my axe than go running the streets or trolling the bars. I also had problems with my dad because he couldn't relate to my time alone. One of his remarks still stands out; "Son, I hope you and your future wife don't go on the Newlywed Game. The host is going to ask her "how many times a week do you and your spouse make whoopee?" and she's gonna say, (sheepishly) "uh..we don't - he'd rather play guitar...." Today, I don't devote that many hours to practice, but I still put in long periods of time and effort to honing my craft. That being said, at some point you [i]do[/i] need to live a normal life. If not, you'll pretty much end up like Eric Johnson who can tell the difference in batteries in your stompbox, but might not necessarily be very good at normal human interaction/relationships. And when that happens, what songs are you going to write about? The only source of inspiration you're going to have is that flat 13th lick you've been practicing all week. Just my .02

[Wrave]

Thanks everyone, so many good replys. I don't feel so much like I'm the only one in the boat anymore. I've complained about being stuck out here in the sticks a bit before and I am not going to keep lamenting the lack of music here-abouts. But I do think I need to make contact with some folks actively involved. It would help me to see my "obsession" is shared by others. You have all helped with that by your responses. I would have liked to have heard from Craig Anderton on this message because I know he's one that has somehow managed to juggle his music and his writing and time for this forum and time to test and review equipment and software pretty well. Any comments/tips Craig? I have this feeling that organization is not the only way to make the time I am investing in music count. First of all, I need to expand the time involved. I travel too far to work every day. That trip alone takes a couple of hours out of my day every week day. And yes, there's the damned day gig. But I can't justify leaving that until I either have this equipment paid for or I can have some assurance that I at least stand a chance at making a few bucks at music. I'd gladly plug in my old bass and do a gig or two. So, that's the conundrum, work to pay for the gear and not have the time I want at music or grab the time and dodge the bill collectors! ;) I value what you all have to say, in this and other posts. For the time being, this may be as close as I can get to having "music" friends. It's good enough for now and somehow I am going to convince my non-music friends that I really haven't gone off the deep end, I'm just concentrating on what I love. :love:

[george costanza]

The music of some cultures has demanded sacrifices. I'm thinking here of such as the Aztecs. :rolleyes: That's why Europeans were :eek: horrified by the "warlike" spirit brought forth by drums. We might consider reviving these traditions; I for one think the "music" of Broccoli Spears calls for a sacrifice---[i]hers[/i] ! :D

[alphajerk]

[i]"choppin broccoli.... choppin brocco lee heee"[/i]

[henryrobinett]

Wrave, Your life is your own, not theirs. Live it the way you see fit and don't let anyone else make you wrong or guilty for it. Try not to harm anyone along the way, be considerate, honest and firm with your own convictions and you'll do fine.

[strat0124]

Yes.

[koolkid]

i dont know henry,one mans hard work is anothers play, i knew guys in school with perfect pitch,metronome rhythym,would score a symphony in a weekend just for shits and giggles while i knew others who were also great players but struggled and thats not to mention all the mediocre bozos who will get record deals,tour the world and be regarded as great musicians while a vast majority of more creative and brilliant people will never

[henryrobinett]

[quote]Originally posted by koolkid: [b]i dont know henry,one mans hard work is anothers play, i knew guys in school with perfect pitch,metronome rhythym,would score a symphony in a weekend just for shits and giggles while i knew others who were also great players but struggled [/b][/quote]Some things do come easy to some people. But in the end I don't know that that makes any real difference. Music initially came easy for me. I was playing gigs with the big boy jazz cats within a couple of years of first picking up the guitar. But now that means squat. Most of the people I knew who had perfect pitch never were particularly good musicians. They never had to work hard at it so they never really developed. There are some exceptions, but for me, they've been exceptions. It all depends on what your goals are. But there are only so many hours in the day. Do I hang out with my wife, friends, and go to movies, read a book or do I produce some music? Do I practice 8 hours today or do I watch TV? To those who never have these dilemmas I salute you. That's not me. And yet I'm one who never had to be asked to practice 6 hours. I loved it. Everyday. It's fun for me to spend all day and night in the studio. But there are other aspects of life too. That's where the challenge for me enters in. I love my wife and my kids and I love movies and TV and I would have no problem hanging out with them all day as well. I love BEING with my family and friends. But I haven't figured out how to be with them and essentially be alone and practice, write music and produce either my music or clients music all at the same time. Something invariably has to be sacrificed. My family wins out most of the time, yet and still they understand. I think the conflict is more mine than my families. [b]I AM[/b] the one who wants to be with them. They are more like, "Great Dad's going to be in the studio all week. Let's do something fun without him!" They're cool.

[Tedly Nightshade]

There ARE only so many hours in a day, and every one is unreplaceable. I know many folks very busily accumulating as many experiences as they can, anxious lest they not have lived when it's time for them to die. I choose to live deeply, in a rooted way, rather than skating as much of the surface as possible. I accept that my life is finite, and that only so many things will be experienced, but let me experience them fully. In the same way I prefer to wrap my life around one musical woman rather than trying to get a part of all the appealing women around, I pass on an incredible variety of experience in order to dwell well where I do. Everything's a sacrifice- I offer my life to a certain musical dream, I only regret I have but one to give.

[Tom Capasso]

wrave - so many very personal choices to be made. Some people sacrifice to make music - they give up other people/things and it hurts (more than just "working it out" or "adjusting priorities"). I'm one of those people that was into music, did the career/family thing for a while, and am now getting back in. Much as I love it, and much as it gets in the way sometimes, I don't sacrifice for music. My kids are older, and I work out how much time I can spend on music with my wife. there have been times I'd like to be practicing. But there are times that I'd rather see my kids, talk to my wife, or do stuff that needs to be done for the family/house/whatever. The band I'm in is made up of like-minded folks, and our "gig frequency" is much less than many here (after playing together for a few years, we've done 2 bar gigs this year !!). We're not going "anywhere", but we grow slowly and enjoy it. Good luck making your choices... Tom