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OT: "Favorite" guitar player quote

73 P Bass

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Driving down I-84 today, a comment from my last guitarist popped into my head: "But if I turn down I can't get my sound". I guess the ringing in his ears was part of his sound.

What gems of wisdom have you been handed from the skinny string sect.

If you got anything good on drummers lets hear that too!

Heck, if you, or another bass player said something great, don't be shy!

"Start listening to music!".

-Jeremy C

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"The audience needs to HEAR ME!" -


said in anger to yours truly as yours truly was suggesting that the 100 watt half stack be turned about 15 degrees toward the drummer who was exclaiming she couln't hear the guitar on the small stage in the small club

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"The concept of the rock-guitar solo in the eightees has pretty much been reduced to: Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you get

a big ovation while the the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around!"

-- Frank Zappa

You can stop now -jeremyc

STOP QUOTING EVERY THING I SAY!!! -Bass_god_offspring

lug, you should add that statement to you signature.-Tenstrum

I'm not sure any argument can top lug's. - Sweet Willie


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Originally posted by greenboy:

"I don't need to know the chords or notes to play what's in my soul."

Is that a quote from greenboy? I'd like to give credit when I repeat it.


Reminds me of someone I used play with and hang out with... always an hour late, few bucks short... He played for about 8 years when I was hanging with him and the funny thing is he didn't know how to change strings, or tune it, even with a tuner!!!! One day he asked to borrow my guitar and I asked why..


"I didn't get back to the guitar store in time to pick it up."

"Why, what was wrong with it?"

"Nothing, I was getting the strings changed."


"Yea, can you believe they closed at 9, knowing that I had my guitar there? I was there at 9:30 and theywere closed. They even charged me 7 bucks to put them on."

"You mean you paid $12 and expected them to stay open late on a Saturday night for you?"


Later that night when it was time to pay for the rehearsal space...


"Uh guys, you got to cover me, I don't have any money"

"Then why did you talk us into taking the extra hour?"

"I was having fun.... You guys want to go out for a few beers?"

"I thought you did't have any money."

"I don't."

If you think my playing is bad, you should hear me sing!
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"I'll help with the PA."


"I'll just be up here a minute while you guys get started with the loadout."


"I checked all my pedal batteries and my tuner works great."


"I just changed strings last night, but don't worry - I did just what you told me to with the whammy bar springs."

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Originally posted by Adamixoye:

"I'll be there at [insert time]."


Of the six guitarists I have played with regularly in my life, that quote was always hilarious (in the bad way) when coming from about four of them.

Make that four of seven, come to think of it.


I should note that the four includes three members of a rock band and a main worship leader. The secondary worship leader and other worship guys were more or less fine.

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Oh man, yesterday my guitarist was the ultimate steriotype. Here are a few, all of these were yesterday, in one day, no joke.


"I need a new place to live, Melissa broke up with me, her parents said I could stay but I don't really want to"


"dude do you have a pick"


(after I spend 10 minutes searching my house for a pick, I play bass dang it, I don't use the things)


"I don't think this will work, do you have anything else?"


"Man, my vocals are shot, I don't want to record anything else" (after playing 4 songs)


I feel bad for the guy, he is in a bad spot right now but from a perspective of guitar player stuff this stuff is hillarious. In one day, yesterday.

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This isn't realy in the spirit of the thread -- but I wanted to post it anyway. I'm leaving my band (as I'm heading interstate) and the guitarist has devised a cunning list of questions to find a replacement (the car and garage are assumed ;) ).


1 -- do you own a sansamp BDDI?

2 -- do you have $500 (aud) spare?

3 -- are you going to buy a sansamp BDDI?

A man is not usually called upon to have an opinion of his own talents at all; he can very well go on improving them to the best of his ability without deciding on his own precise niche in the temple of Fame. -- C.S.Lewis
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this happened this summer, i was announcing that i wa sleaving my guitarist to start another band (we were kind of both heading in different directions musically and we both knew it) anyway i was telling him about my new guitarist and i said he's a really good guitarist he just doesnt play solos, the reply was "how can you be a good guitarist and not play solos?"



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During the one and only bass solo during a 3 hour concert the guitarist kept tweedling away playing little things here and there and generally making a nuisance of himself. It would have been ok, but the entire set was 80's metal and blues. Each song had at least 2 or more guitar solos and they all sounded pretty much the same. I mentioned to the guitarist that I was going for something that would be a breath of fresh air among all the shredding and million notes. His question after the 4th practice I asked him to not play during my one


"But it sounds good doesn't it?"


"Shuuuuuuttttttt UPPPPPPP!!!!!" :mad::mad: Is it just me or does most every guitarist have to be tweedling on their guitar every waking moment. When they are supposed to be quiet, When you are trying to talk with them or other band members, Always. Just an observation I have noticed with many guitarists.

Let your speech be better than silence, or be silent.


For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not, none will suffice.



"Rendirme? Que se rinda su abuela, *#@!^$"

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"Guuuuuys, I'm waaaaiting!"

- shouted in a most annoying tone while we were setting up our own equipment and he was waiting down the block with help on his own.


"I'm going to have Doug re-string one, can you re-string the other? I'm reeeeally busy tomorrow."

- said in a most annoying tone evening before a gig


"How do you guys keep from losing these? I'm still waiting for Doug to buy a rack drawer."


"Don't pack up right after the gig, I'm going to put some stuff in your rack drawer."


"I don't like that Mesa Boogie dual rectifier, it doesn't have built-in chorus like my Peavey 2x12."

- again, add most annoying tone imaginable


"F*** YOU!"

- mouthed in a most annoying tone across the stage towards a certain bass player as I giggled as a solo was botched for the 20th straight time


...more to come as i delve into the blocked out portions of my brain...

Ah, nice marmot.
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Originally posted by Gospel StreisandInConcert string:

"I can play bass."



Awesome!!! As a drummer, I have heard many guitarists say this and I just want to say, "NO, YOU CAN'T!" The only thing that was worse was when one of these newly-christened "bassists" would complain that my playing "was throwing off their time." Funny how I never heard that from a real bassist.

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"Where's me bottle?" - Drunken guitarist looking for his gallon of Jack Daniels that he drinks in a week.


"Let's keep everything in 4/4 time." - Drunken guitarist on his taste in orginal music.


"I turned myself completely down." - Drunken guitarist who can't remember how to work his volume knob.


"How does that go?" - Drunken guitarist asking how to play Born To Be Wild for the thousandth time.


"Let's keep everything simple and stupid." - Drunken guitarist quoting on his taste in original music again.


"Where's me bottle again?" - Drunken guitarist once again looking for his gallon of Jack Daniels.


"All we need is 3 chords." - Drunken guitarist once again quoting on his taste in original music.



"Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face."

Harry Dresden, Storm Front

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In guitarese: "Our music doesn't have any dynamics"


Translation to English: "Everyone else stop playing so my audience can hear only my beautiful guitar lick".


In guitarese: "This new song idea really isn't melodic enough for my tastes."


Translation to English: "I haven't a clue how to play anything other than the two or three rhythms I actually know."


In guitarese: "This song is very repetitive."


Translation to English: "This song is too rhythmic for me to do a 5 minute solo in it".



Old bass players never die, they just buy lighter rigs.

- Tom Capasso, 11/9/2006


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