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i hate people like this, musicman: avert your eyes!

The Fonz

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i recently got a new job at a paint/hardware store. apparently i am the new go-to guy in issues of plumbing and wood finishing.


a guy comes in today and he's one of these real know-it-all types. he's looking for a stain to cover up some "dirty" wood. he's really interested in a minwax finish called Polyshades which is basically a penetrating polyurethane with pigment. i have to tell him that it won't cover up the dirty spot, but rather stain everything he puts in on. but he's insisting on a satin finish polyurethane.


after some prodding i finally get out of him what it is he's putting it on: A CELLO FROM 1820!!!!!! after debating, then arguing, then begging him to use shellac he refused saying that although he had used alcohol to strip off whatever finish was originally on there the rest was not coming off.


so this guy is going to go home and put 2 or 3 coats of satin finish polyurethane on his 1820 cello.



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Are you sure he didn't say "uccello" -- which is Italian for bird. Perhaps he's refinishing a little carved wooden bird from 1820... or not. :(


Schemo! (That's Italian for "big-ole-stupid-head". I know some stronger vocabulary as well -- but only if you're interested. ;) )






Fanboy? Why, yes! Nordstrand Pickups and Guitars.

Messiaen knew how to parlay the funk.

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i hate ignorant assholes like that.


"the only good in the world is knowledge, and the only evil is igorance."


i also hate people who wont ever admit that they are wrong like that. it's so F*cken obvious that he isn't doing something right, so why the hell can't he admit that. :evil:


*heart rate increases*



5 words you should live by...


Music is its own reward



My Band: www.Myspace.com/audreyisanarcissist

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somewhere,a dead luthier is rolling in his grave. i hope that before he does(did)i, the fumes are so strong the guy passes out, and when he regains consciousness, has forgotten what he was about to do. he's about as smart as a bucket of hair
Insert inaccurate quote here
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I guess the guy's never seen the Antique Roadshow.


Every so often, someone has refinished an old dresser or something...worth $1500. If it hadn't been finished, it'd be worth $50,000.


We can hope that the poly will not adhere through the old finish. But it will.


If I was working in your store, I'd make me up a fact sheet with proper methods of French polishing and the use of shellac, and give it to folks.

"Let's raise the level of this conversation" -- Jeremy Cohen, in the Picasso Thread.


Still spendin' that political capital far faster than I can earn it...stretched way out on a limb here and looking for a better interest rate.

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Originally posted by Ace Cracker:

so this guy is going to go home and put 2 or 3 coats of satin finish polyurethane on his 1820 cello. ass.

Perhaps he plans to mount it on his trophy wall between the swordfish and the dead buck's head.

Or maybe he's putting it in the driveway next to the recently painted white-faced lawn-jocky. You know the place, it has that Porsche body spray-painted in black rustoleum in the driveway with a "for sale" sign on it.


He'd be right at home in NJ. :freak:

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I have also spent some time in the paint & hardware business, and I think your manager might be a bit disappointed in your sales technique.


This customer isn't just an idiot, he has serious NEEDS - product needs. And you have the opportunity to be his hero.


For the refinishing job:

Sandpaper, tack cloth, some sort of brush or cloths for applying the finish, a can of thinner and a respirator. To remove that pesky old finish he'll need a belt sander and maybe a bench grinder/buffer. Oh, and a MAPP Gas torch so he can give all of that newly exposed wood some "19th Century" patina.


While he's at it, why not upgrade the electronics?




In an antique cello?


Sure, why not. This is, after all, the space age. ;)


He'll need a drill, some bits, soldering tools and some wire strippers for installing the new pickup and plug. A cello has a lot of surface area, and we certainly don't want to go to waste! He needs a router or jigsaw to cut a hole for the preamp/DI, and he could probably get 6 rack units in the back if he had some rails (angle iron and a tap/die kit perhaps) and screws.


One of the keys to successful hardware sales is recognizing the fact that your customer doesn't want to interrupt his work at midnight to find the one obscure item he needs to finish his job. You get to be the one to make sure they buy everything they need for the project. :thu:


Happy selling!

- Matt W.
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Don't you have the right to "refuse service to anyone?"
isnt that unconstitutional?


perhaps im wrong.


you should have dished out a beating on that stupid man.

"I'm thinkin' we should let bump answer this one...

Prepare to don Nomex!"

-social critic

"When I install my cannons, I'm totally going to blast their asses back to the 16th century; Black Beard style"


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Originally posted by BigKahuna855:

Don't you have the right to "refuse service to anyone?"
isnt that unconstitutional?
Nope and its perfectly legal. Ever been kicked out of a bar? The bartender is exercising that right.

umm just an example, i've never been kicked out of a bar :rolleyes:

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A BIG part of the reason I'm getting out of the music store retail gig after 8 years now, is the ding-dong customers like that. You try to help people....


A couple months ago I had a lady bring in a classical guitar with steel strings on it. Mind you, she'd just put steel strings on it so the damage had not been done yet. I urged her to let us put nylon strings on it while we were fixing the guitar anyway, as the steel strings will further destroy her guitar (which was a good solid playable-though cheap-guitar). After prodding, she told me she understood what I was trying to do for her, but didn't want to do it because they were taking lessons for 8 weeks then would plan on a new guitar. So....2-3 months later, the same guitar comes in with everything done to it that I said would happen - bridge pulled from the body, neck joint cracking, neck bowed horribly, and more machine posted cracked. She has us just fix the broken machine posts. GAH! :mad::freak:

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