My Heart Is Broken, And It's My Fault.

[ricknbokkerv2.0]

I've really screwed the pooch, this time.

Gotta talk about it though... just gotta.

 

A few months back, I was in a pretty bad way financially. I mean, I'm still $62,000 in debt, but at least I have $ to buy food.

 

A while back, that wasn't the case. So..

... I hocked my bass at the local pawn shop. I was tired of sponging off of friends. Foolish pride, in hindsight.

 

I had 90 days to pay off the loan. I couldn't do it. Yesterday, I finally had the cash together.

Too late. The bass is gone. Sold.

I feel like I've lost the best friend I ever had, and it's all my fault.

We were together for 17 years, over 300 gigs, and over 400 hours of recording sessions.

 

My beautiful Ric 4003, black hardware on Mapleglo... gone.

Through all those years, I babied her. Not one ding. Not one scratch. Polished and pampered religiously. When people saw it, they always thought it was brand new. When I would tell her story, jaws would drop.

 

I'm literally sick. I can't stop vomiting. I'm rehydrating, but I think I'm losing the battle.

If someone were to put a gun to my head right now, I think I could only offer a "Please... yes."

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Ricky

[RHINO_ROB]

oh crap that sucks.

my deepest and sincere condolences at the loss of such a valued friend.

[ChrisOfDoom]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Whacked]

Damn, I feel your pain.

A few years back I was looking into bankrupcy. thankfully I didnt go that route, but I had to sell a lot of my possessions. I'm still $45K in debt with nothing to show for it, but like you, things are better now.

 

Check into a non-profit loan consolidation program. they are everywhere and are especially good with credit card debt. I had $3,500 on one card and they managed to get $2k of that removed. i'm now paying 4.38% intrest but got a flyer yesterday saying I qualify for a 3.375% (gonna try for that one). only good news is it should all be paid off in about 12 years.

 

I really feel for you and your Ric. I still wish I had my first even tho it was a pretty lousy (and freaking heavy) Peavy T-40, I still loved it.

 

Chin up and continuously check your local shops and classified. I hope you find a good replacement bass that will provide you with enjoyment for another 17+ years.

[moot]

DON'T DO IT MAAANNN!!

 

Remove the noose and step down off the chair.

Repeate this until you can no longer speak -

 

"It was just a piece of wood, it was just a piece of wood . . ."

 

Seriously, I feel your pain. I once loaned out a Les Paul Gold Top and got it back with the head snapped off. I vomited instantly. It was repaired but never the same.

 

More recently I loaned my wifes ex my Ibanez Studio Standard and the little BASTARD moved to New Jersy and took it with him. Think I learned anything? I just loaned my first wifes husband my spare 5 string.

 

Condolences

[Mr. Phil]

That really is like a death in the family.

 

I'd suggest that Connie put that up on the Bass Player memorial site. I'm not sure if it would qualify though. Seriously.

 

Are you able to buy it back? Did you talk to the pawn shop owner? Maybe if you tell him that you were literally sick about it, he might feel for you and sell it back for what he gave you for it.

 

I know I would. I'd even probably spot you a hundred or two.

 

Good Luck. Seriously try to get it back.

[dhurstlmt]

Sorry to hear about your loss.

[BigKahuna855]

that does suck real bad

 

More recently I loaned my wifes ex my Ibanez Studio Standard and the little BASTARD moved to New Jersy and took it with him.

we should hunt him down, we have lowdown connections in jersey

[Rick Hoffman]

The Ric 4003, or 4001, is my dream bass. Otherwise I play american fenders...

but yeah man that has gotta suck I'm feelin your pain.

I know that sick feeling you get in your gut, and that inner depression from losing an instrument...its the worst feeling in the world.

But you have to make yourself realize that there are hundreds of other basses out there just waiting to be picked up and held in your capable hands...they may not be just like the one you lost...some are better, some not as good.

Its like replacing a lost friend, I know it seems impossible. but you gotta suck it up and drive on, man...

peace

[moot]

BigKahuna said we should hunt him down, we have lowdown connections in jersey

How I would love to see that thievin' punk brought to justice! His name is Pete McClean and he is a web developer who calls his business "Dynamite House"

 

Any bent-nose types out there - I would like to see a vigorous action. Not a Job, just a vigorous action.

[Connie Z]

Hi Ricky,

 

So sorry to hear about the loss of your bass. It sounds like the icing on a cake made of POOP. I can totally relate, having been through mega hard times financially. Lost a lot... my business, all of my money, my credit rating, my health... etc.

 

And what I have learned is that the depression comes from a feeling of hopelessness. And when things seem hopeless, it literally feels like things will never never never get better.

 

This may sound weird, but I also learned that the only way to battle hopelessness, is to 'embrace' the loss you have experienced.

 

It seems that our natural human reaction to a tragic situation is to bury it, so that it doesn't overwhelm us, or something like that. But the problem with not just allowing ourselves to grieve the loss, is that the loss just stays buried down below the surface, but it is still there.

 

It's not until you can allow yourself to see that you have suffered a loss. And it is important. Is is YOUR important loss, even if it is not important to others. And the loss can be something that may have happened even as your were trying your best.

 

And even if there are many losses, if you allow yourself to see them as losses, and to allow yourself to grieve them as such, then you can start seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

 

When you start seeing that little ray of light, it would be a great time to set your sights on a new bass, even if it may be next year before you buy it. To me, the "dreaming about" the new toy, is equally as fun as the "getting it."

 

Good luck. Things will get better, I promise.

 

This was of course, just my own humble opinion.

 

... connie z

[moot]

This was of course, just my own humble opinion. - Connie Z

[moot]

Mine too Connie.

[...]

That sucks, man... but at least it wasn't stolen. A good friend of mine had his P bass stolen out of his car in Vancouver, BC after a gig. I was there for the next morning/drive home to Seattle. I feared for the general safety of anyone alive that wasn't a good friend of Richie at that moment in time. He'd had that bass for countless sessions, gigs at every 'big' club on the strip in Hollywood, CBGB's in NYC, you name it; 20+ years. He had 6 bloody marys at breakfast and it just got worse from there. I'm surprised the boarder gaurds let us back into the country.

 

I think the lesson to be learned here, as bitter as it is: don't put something on the line that you can't bear to live without. I sort of know the feeling, I sold a very nice custom Hamer 12-string bass while I was in college because I needed the money. I'd give anything to have that bass back again. The $1900 that it got me then isn't worth a thing to me today. Bummer.

[Omor Nomar ff bass]

I feel your pain! While not having been in quite the same financial straits and not having owned my baby for the same length of time it still hurt like a b**** to see it go. As is usual in most peoples lives the rent comes first and i had to pay mine. I owned a 78 4001 and was my first real bass. (as silly as that may sound I'm sure we all understand what that means) Desperate for a cash source I naively thought I could get top dollar for my Ric and went to the nearest pawn shop with the full intention of coming back and rescuing it the next month. Of course we all know how this story ends. I got nowhere close to what I thought my treasure was worth, but had to take what they offered or else I'd be playing on the street. Unfortunately I never was able to get back in time to buy back my ric. Moral of the story: Stay away from those vultures, pick up a second job, mow lawns, get a paper route, do anything in your power to earn some extra dough so you don't have to go crawling to some place like that. (yes I have issues ) It took me ten years to replace my ric, but I still wish I had my first real bass. Again sorry for your loss.

[ricknbokkerv2.0]

I want to thank everyone for your kind words of support.

 

Naturally, I'm feeling better than I was, as long as I don't dwell on it. Then... it all comes crashing back. Ugh.

 

I do have an update... sketchy at best right now.

 

After hearing my plight, some friends put the word out about my situation. Seems there is a guy not far from here that is always in the market for Rics of any sort. Hoping to have a name soon.

 

Obviously, if I find it, I will offer to buy it back. Whatever it takes. I'll let you all know as soon as I know.

 

Thanx again to all of you. You are all part of the reason I love these forums more than any other... good, caring, considerate people in abundance.

 

Ricky

[mound]

I'm sorry, I don't mean to play the wet stick in the mud here whom everybody is probably going to hate after reading this, but c'mon now. My girlfriend lost her best friend to a car accident last month, and another is on the way out soon to cancer, as is my grandmother. THAT is loss, THAT deserves deepest condolences. You didn't lose a bass, you sold it (smartly I might add) because for whatever reasons (I'm not going to judge), you allowed yourself to accumulate over $60k in debt. I'd be upset if I had to part with my bass too, and I do feel for that bit of your situation, but if you have $60k of debt and can't pay for food, the loss of a single material posession is the least of your concerns and warrants no deep condolences from anybody. I'm reminded of that rather pathetic girl Karyn ( http://www.savekaryn.com/ ) who pleaded to the internet community to pay off her carelessly accumulated and rather large credit card debt for her, because she's just oh so cute and didn't mean for it to happen. It's immature and shows that she felt no sense of responsability for her own actions (a seemingly common thread running through our increasingly messed up society). I'm not saying you are anything like her, in fact, you are probably nothing like her, I'm only saying your post and those that followed reminded of it.

 

Anyway.. if I were in your situation, I'd sell every piece of gear I owned that wasn't needed to work with, downsize my life to the bare necessities, get myself some good credit counseling and a 2nd (or 3rd job) and start taking some responsibility for the situation I was in. Only after that was resolved, replace gear as needed.

 

edit: oh, and for what it's worth (if anything) the fact that you are still $62k in debt and are only concerned about BUYING back your Rick, tells me that you have no concept of the severity of the situation you are faced with.

 

Good luck to you

-Paul

[Dan South]

rick,

 

This is a really tough story, and I feel for you. I'm sorry for the loss of your cherished instrument.

 

The only silver lining is that you stand to gain a lot of wisdom from this experience. One day in the future, you'll have another bass that you treasure, and you'll treasure her because you'll realize how quickly fortunes can change and how the things that you cherish most can be taken away from you.

 

Best of luck to you, bro. You'll make it through the rough times.

[Connie Z]

Originally posted by mound:

I'm sorry, I don't mean to play the wet stick in the mud here whom everybody is probably going to hate after reading this, but c'mon now. My girlfriend lost her best friend to a car accident last month, and another is on the way out soon to cancer, as is my grandmother. THAT is loss, THAT deserves deepest condolences. You didn't lose a bass, you sold it (smartly I might add) because for whatever reasons (I'm not going to judge), you allowed yourself to accumulate over $60k in debt. I'd be upset if I had to part with my bass too, and I do feel for that bit of your situation, but if you have $60k of debt and can't pay for food, the loss of a single material posession is the least of your concerns and warrants no deep condolences from anybody. I'm reminded of that rather pathetic girl Karyn ( http://www.savekaryn.com/ ) who pleaded to the internet community to pay off her carelessly accumulated and rather large credit card debt for her, because she's just oh so cute and didn't mean for it to happen. It's immature and shows that she felt no sense of responsability for her own actions (a seemingly common thread running through our increasingly messed up society). I'm not saying you are anything like her, in fact, you are probably nothing like her, I'm only saying your post and those that followed reminded of it.

 

Anyway.. if I were in your situation, I'd sell every piece of gear I owned that wasn't needed to work with, downsize my life to the bare necessities, get myself some good credit counseling and a 2nd (or 3rd job) and start taking some responsibility for the situation I was in. Only after that was resolved, replace gear as needed.

 

edit: oh, and for what it's worth (if anything) the fact that you are still $62k in debt and are only concerned about BUYING back your Rick, tells me that you have no concept of the severity of the situation you are faced with.

 

Good luck to you

-Paul

WOW Mound! That was indeed pretty harsh!

 

I guess that you would probably say then, that my own debt and tragedy were purely my own fault, and that I deserved everything I got... despite the fact that my past debt/financial issues were due to:

• My husband getting a brain tumor
  
• My own undiagnosed chronic, painful and debilitating illness (which lasted 12 YEARS and is still an issue.)
  
• My father-in-law (who we are financially repsonsible for) suffering a major heart attack with subsequent open-heart surgery
  
• Our business being robbed at gunpoint two days after the heart attack, with myself, an employee and my step-daughter in the store at the time
  
• Etc.
   
  

I do realize that I brought it all on myself by:

• Marrying a husband who got a brain tumor
  
• Opening a business
  
• Trusting doctors to think they actually cared anything about MY health
  
• Being accessible to a robber
   
  

OK, I am being sarcastic, but I think you see my point.

We don't have any background info as to what Ricky's reasons are for his financial dire straights, and I know from personal experience, that the reasons for that, can be varied, and not always due to being "irresponsible."

 

Wow, I am still smarting from your post!

 

But, all that being said, I want to say that I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife's friend. I can only assume that you and she were close as well. A tragic accident like that is very hard to deal with. I'm also really sorry about your other friend and your Grandmother as well. Cancer is a common thing sadly in my family, so I know how that feels to deal with, although we've had some family members who survived the experience, which was a relief.

 

... connie z

[moot]

SCCHHHHHMMMACK!!!!

 

God I love her.

[Omor Nomar ff bass]

Mound, you were right. Ready...Flame...Fire! Not that Rick needs anyone to defend him, but really, lighten up. I'm 100 percent confident everyone in this forum can seperate the material losses from the spiritual and personal ones. I can fully empathize with your sentiment having lost my father and grandmother in the space of a year, but this is not why I come here. I enjoy the cameraderie this site provides if only to relate with people on a level that i normally wouldn't in my everyday life. I'm sure Rick already realizes what his problems are and most likely came here looking for some support if only in the musical sense. Now, read aloud in soothing tones...I promise to be self righteous when I know I've become perfect. Until then I will play nice with others. Have a nice day.

[mound]

I guess that you would probably say then, that my own debt and tragedy were purely my own fault, and that I deserved everything I got...

no no no no no. it was not my intent to "judge" or even imply that his debt was from being irresponsible - I'm sorry, I see how that was construed.. my gripe was with the responses and the fact that he seemed more concerned with buying the thing back then digging out of a massive hole of debt. if you (or me, or anybody) are that far in the hole, even if it's because nature struck you down with every possible misfortune and illness (don't get me started on the cost of health care.. it's absolutely absurd) your ONLY priority should be to dig out as fast as possible. a bass is a bass is a bass is a, well, hunk of wood (even my beautiful Warwick thumb bass) - dig yourself out of the hole and worry about things that matter, not vomiting and being sick over a lost "thing".

 

Now, read aloud in soothing tones. I promise to be self righteous when I know I've become perfect.

reading aloud... and lightening up..

 

oh believe me, I am FAR from perfect.. very far in fact.

 

-paul

[dcr]

Nice, Connie.

 

No one has less patience than I for people who do not take responsibility for themselves (& their expenses). Mound's post really did resonate with me. I'm sick to death of people who make bad choices into a lifestyle, & then are surprised when there are consequences. Some people get into financial trouble because they are stupid and irresponsible. BUT some get into financial trouble because the alternatives are homelessness or early death. The difference matters, as Connie points out.

 

I don't know which sort of cause is to blame here. And for my purposes here, I don't really need to know. Even a deserved loss is a loss, and feels like one. And it's that perception of loss that one of our members has brought to us. Whether the loss is bad luck or exactly what he had coming, condolences can still be in order.

 

As for condolences...well, solvency is its own reward, so focus on that. Get back on top, & start over. That's a simple formula, although not an easy one. You'll need to keep your eyes on the prize. You'd be amazed at the success stories of people who've had to build back up from nothing. (There's one in my family. Maybe more.)

[jeremy c]

I've gotten some great deals at pawnshops.

 

Putting something in a pawnshop is getting a loan for an unbelieveably high rate of interest.

 

And you risk losing your item.

 

Sorry to hear about your financial difficulties.

 

Instruments are replaceable.

 

Lives aren't.

 

Keep your head up and work for better days in your future.

[BenLoy]

I understand emotional attachments to instruments...but it is still just a bass.

 

Even a $20,000 double bass is still just a bass. Very sad to part with...but human lives outweigh them astronomically. I'd gladly spray lighter fluid over all of my basses and toss a match on them if it would spare the life of someone close to me.

 

Many people find themselves in debt because of mistakes they've made, and others because of the hand that life has dealt them. Life is hard for everyone for different reasons...

[Connie Z]

Originally posted by mound:

Now, read aloud in soothing tones. I promise to be self righteous when I know I've become perfect. reading aloud... and lightening up..

 

oh believe me, I am FAR from perfect.. very far in fact.

 

-paul

Thanks Paul! Life is toooooo short for such a "hard line." Good luck with the health issues of your Grandmother and friend.

 

... connie z

[MercenaryBassist]

In the early 80s I sold an Ibanez Musician fretless bass and a Fender Studio Bass amp so I could go to the US Festival in southern California. Ok, so I had a great and memorial time at the concert but, uh, that was some nice gear.

[DONUTHOLE]

When my "thefirstbassieverownedandiloveitandillneverneedorwantoruseanythingelseever" gave up on me (truss rod froze,body cracked) I was bummed. It was a great '73 p bass. I used it for 13 years as my only bass and LOVED IT LIKE A CHILD! Looking back it was the best thing that could have happened. It opened me up to learning much more about different basses,started me on the 5 string,and led me to owning two basses that would politely split the forementioned bass for a light snack and laugh. Use it to your advantage,learn from it,find something you like better. That is a painful situation,though.And I am sorry for your loss.

 

If not,Rics are everywhere. Its in your hands,not the instrument. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

Pawnshops are the devils work. They thrive on misfortune.

[Tom Capasso]

Ric - sorry about your circumstances. I agree that as much as I love my instruments, there are things in my life that are more important. TBL had a thread for a while about folks that had sold their instruments - mostly because of minor financial needs or lack of use. Mostly they regretted it...

 

Hope your situation improves. Don't pay more than market value for a RIC, and make sure it's in great condition. You'll only feel worse.

 

Paul and Connie - wow. So many points well made, such deep feelings and serious event, and yet understanding and mutual respect is what comes out. Thanks so much for that !!

 

Tom

[jimbojones]

Very sad my friend, my heart goes out to you. I feel lucky (being 15) not having to deal with things like debt, but actually, I owe my dad 400 bucks for a paintball gun. Which is a whole lot of money to me.

 

Stay strong