pnkranger Posted November 7, 2003 Share Posted November 7, 2003 I just recently re-joined an old band of mine...I decided I wanted to take a stab at writing lyrics. Here's my first-ever stab at it. Critiques would be welcome. And don't be nice just for the sake of being nice...if it sucks, somebody please let me know. : ) Hammerhead Im here again Did I ever leave? So hard to submit So hard to believe Do I deserve this? Do I deserve? I know what I deserve I know whats on the other side I want to live for you But I dont know how I want to live for you I want it now Show me mercy Show me grace Im dead again Was I ever born? So hard to live So broken and torn Do I deserve this? Do I deserve? I know what I deserve I know whats on the other side Im here again Did I ever leave? Did I ever leave? The past is a knife It twists inside Now its so much better But harder somehow Im nailing you down Im nailing you down Show me your mercy Show me your mercy Show me your mercy I want to live for you But I dont know how I want to live for you I want it now Show me mercy Show me grace Im nailing you down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouncer Posted November 7, 2003 Share Posted November 7, 2003 Before I critique your lyrics, what kind of music are you going to play with this?? Is it a Christian song?? Set the pace.......add more Bass!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnkranger Posted November 7, 2003 Author Share Posted November 7, 2003 yeah, sorry. Should have mentioned, but I'm at work. : ) I was kinda in a hurry. Thanks for any input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeremy c Posted November 7, 2003 Share Posted November 7, 2003 You may want to try: The Songwriters Forum We're bass players here. What do we care about lyrics? As a matter of fact, I think I'll start a poll about that. It\'s right here! Free download of my cd!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frontlinebass Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 There good. But ask the other guys in the band. They may hate it or not. But if they think it has potential ask to help in making it say what they entire band wants to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
... Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Along the line of lyrics... The singer from that funk band I was in and I worked out the lyrics to Tower of Power's "I Got The Chop" so the band could play it. That was a bitch. Because it took so much time, I give them to you here... for whatever reason, I don't know. I Got The Chop (from the album "Back to Oakland") ------------------ Oh, went down in the valley Jumped back in the alley Scaled the highest peak I even plugged the biggest leak Ain't none quicker than I Slicker than Superfly I don't even have to try I got the chop I got the chop I can't be stopped I never been popped I got the chop I possess the keenest mind Perhaps of all mankind My cranium do contain Undoubtedly the greatest brain My sight is not the type baby get sucked up all night (not 100% sure about that line) I maintain outta sight I got the chop I got the chop I been through a lot give it all I got I got the chop, yeah Somehow you still have doubt As to what I'm talkin' 'bout Your insight's extra dumb If you can't tell where I'm comin' from Cause if I ain't got the chop If I ain't got the chop Moby Dick was a minow Dumbo was a drunk Popeye was a pussy And Pinnochio was a punk No, that's a bunch 'a bunk I will fulfill your every need Satisfaction gauranteed Double your money back Swear I got the true knack It ain't no haughty boast It's a fact that I'm the most Just the most from coast to coast I got the chop I got the chop I pick the spots Call all the shots I got the chop I am the cream of the crop see I'm the most from coast to coast I won't get popped I can't get stopped Been through a lot Give it all I got I got the chop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groovyjazzyfunky Posted November 8, 2003 Share Posted November 8, 2003 Just my .02. . . I find it difficult to judge lyrics outside the context of the whole song. I can read lyrics and poetry all day long and not feel a thing, but the right lyric sung with the right melody on top of the right chords underneath the right groove can make me cry. All your bass are belong to us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.