contract for Ben Loy to read

[jeremy c]

Dear Band Leader:

 

We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding. If you

don't mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs.

 

Please play these during the reception:

 

A Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series. Please arrange it

for full ensemble in the key of B but nothing in 4/4 please.

 

Mahavishnu Orchestra, "The Dance of Maya" and please have the

guitarist play John McLaughlin's solo from the live performance Nov. 16, 1972

at Chrysler Arena. My wife and I were at that show and we liked his use

of polyrhythms.

 

One of John Coltrane's duets with Pharaoh Sanders. Our guests love

high register tenor saxes.

 

We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice.

So please play "The Rite of Spring." We like a tempo of about 1/4 note = 93

It would also be much more appropriate for this occasion in a slightly lower key.

 

Then for the candle lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's "The Grand Wazoo." The original key of B flat, would be fine but my cousin Jeannie would like to sing the baritone sax solo in the key of D, - she has kind of a high voice.

 

When my new son-in-law takes off the garter, please just a little of Varese's "Ionization." It's such a funny piece, we think it would go over real well. Much better than "The Stripper."

 

And for the bride & groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit by doing

Barber's "Adagio For Strings." It's so much better than "We've Only Just Begun" or

the "Anniversary Waltz."

 

When my wife and I join in the first dance, could you please do Thelonius Monk's

"Ruby, My Dear" - it's in honor of my wife's grandmother whose name was Ruby.

It would mean so much to the family.

 

Thanks for all your help. Depending on the outcome we'll certainly be happy to

recommend your band to our friends. We'll have your check for the fee of $250

(minus our expenses in contacting you of $12.50) by the end of next month: we're a

little short as the young lady doing the balloon arch wanted her $1,850 in advance

and the bill had to be paid up front,and the caterer wanted his $2,500 as normal.

Our daughter assured us that your love of music was greater than your need for money, and that you would welcome the exposure you would get from playing this wedding.

 

Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a snack sandwich and a soda

(the bottles are returnable or you can pay the deposit to the butler). Please use the back entrance to avoid disturbing the guests.

[orphan wells]

that's the most disturbing thing i have ever read. I think i'm going to be sick..........yep, i got sick.

[tnb]

So Ben Loy is going into the wedding band business? Well, it is better than a day job and if the maid of honor is single, she will be yours after a few ultra-funky choruses of "Boogie Oogie Oogie".

[jeremy c]

If Ben couldn't handle that gig, no one can!

 

(Well, maybe Bumpcity might want to do it )

[_Sweet Willie_]

Originally posted by jeremyc:

Mahavishnu Orchestra, "The Dance of Maya" and please have the guitarist play John McLaughlin's solo from the live performance Nov. 16, 1972 at Chrysler Arena. My wife and I were at that show and we liked his use of polyrhythms.

 

Good lord. Although I'm not familiar with this particular piece, is a Mahavishnu Orchestra piece a common request for a wedding reception? And, in particular, a very specific McLaughlin solo?

[jeremy c]

It's a joke.

 

Sheesh.

[BenLoy]

Yes, it was a joke...and an elegantly brilliant one at that.

 

 

Jeremy, you had me dyin! Made me almost miss being chased out of the kitchen by the chef for "looking at the food."

 

One more thing, Jeremy, the best man just asked if he could play "Slang" after his speech to the bride and groom. He will be throwing your bass down on the stage at the end of course...

[Bartolini]

man........I cant stop laughing in the office at this post.

[_Sweet Willie_]

Definitely a very elegant joke.

 

I'm man enough to admit that I missed the joke , even though the piece I quoted in an earlier post had me convinced that the parents were absolute nut-jobs .

[Dan South]

What? No polkas? No Holly Golly? No "Stripper" music when they take off the garter? No "Celebration?" No "Hot Hot Hot" conga line? No "Livin' La Vida Loca?"

 

These folks are DEFINITELY not from Jersey.

 

[orphan wells]

PLAY SOME SKINNERD MAN!!! FREEEEEE BIRRRRD!!!!

[getz out]

Originally posted by Dan South:

What? No polkas? No Holly Golly? No "Stripper" music when they take off the garter? No "Celebration?" No "Hot Hot Hot" conga line? No "Livin' La Vida Loca?"

 

These folks are DEFINITELY not from Jersey.

 

 

NICE! Damn Conga Lines!

 

Okay, you know you're either at a Jersey, Staten Island, or Long Island wedding if the couples first dance is either a Bon Jovi or Bruce Springstein tune. Yes, I've been to such events. It's frightening.

[...]

Originally posted by jeremyc:

Dear Band Leader:

 

We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding. If you

don't mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs.

 

Please play these during the reception:

 

A Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series. Please arrange it

for full ensemble in the key of B but nothing in 4/4 please.

 

Mahavishnu Orchestra, "The Dance of Maya" and please have the

guitarist play John McLaughlin's solo from the live performance Nov. 16, 1972

at Chrysler Arena. My wife and I were at that show and we liked his use

of polyrhythms.

 

One of John Coltrane's duets with Pharaoh Sanders. Our guests love

high register tenor saxes.

 

We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice.

So please play "The Rite of Spring." We like a tempo of about 1/4 note = 93

It would also be much more appropriate for this occasion in a slightly lower key.

 

Then for the candle lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's "The Grand Wazoo." The original key of B flat, would be fine but my cousin Jeannie would like to sing the baritone sax solo in the key of D, - she has kind of a high voice.

 

When my new son-in-law takes off the garter, please just a little of Varese's "Ionization." It's such a funny piece, we think it would go over real well. Much better than "The Stripper."

 

And for the bride & groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit by doing

Barber's "Adagio For Strings." It's so much better than "We've Only Just Begun" or

the "Anniversary Waltz."

 

When my wife and I join in the first dance, could you please do Thelonius Monk's

"Ruby, My Dear" - it's in honor of my wife's grandmother whose name was Ruby.

It would mean so much to the family.

 

Thanks for all your help. Depending on the outcome we'll certainly be happy to

recommend your band to our friends. We'll have your check for the fee of $250

(minus our expenses in contacting you of $12.50) by the end of next month: we're a

little short as the young lady doing the balloon arch wanted her $1,850 in advance

and the bill had to be paid up front,and the caterer wanted his $2,500 as normal.

Our daughter assured us that your love of music was greater than your need for money, and that you would welcome the exposure you would get from playing this wedding.

 

Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a snack sandwich and a soda

(the bottles are returnable or you can pay the deposit to the butler). Please use the back entrance to avoid disturbing the guests.

THAT is my idea of a fun gig. Yes, I know, I'm a sick, sick bastard.

 

Oh, and His Sweetness, The Dance of Maya is a super-bad tune; I believe the studio version is on Inner Mounting Flame.

[Tom Capasso]

Jeremy

 

Great Post !!!

 

I'm sending it to my cousin, who has been doing weddings for 30 years...

 

Tom