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Should I take my bass on my honeymoon?


tlv

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Hey,

I'm getting married August 23. The following week we are going to a little cabin in North Carolina for a week. I have a beautiful fretless stingray5, should I take it or not?

 

Taking it might begin a resentment.

Leaving it might begin to set a bad precedent.

 

FWIW, I would want to take it, and practice just a bit each day. But I wouldn't be upset if it was in "our" best interest to leave it at home. I'm looking forward to what you all have to say....

 

Thanks.

TLV

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Originally posted by tlv:

Hey,

I'm getting married August 23. The following week we are going to a little cabin in North Carolina for a week. I have a beautiful fretless stingray5, should I take it or not?

 

Taking it might begin a resentment.

Leaving it might begin to set a bad precedent.

 

FWIW, I would want to take it, and practice just a bit each day. But I wouldn't be upset if it was in "our" best interest to leave it at home. I'm looking forward to what you all have to say....

 

Thanks.

TLV

Comming from a woman.. LEAVE IT! Your attention should be 100% on your bride, not your bass.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Pirate- Idnarb
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Wait a minute. You have a "beautiful, fretless Stingray 5," but no description of the wife.

 

And you want to spend time in a log cabin in the woods with a dead tree.

 

Do we think you should take the bass along? (Maybe you want to take the bass alone!!!)

 

You mean you have to ask?

 

Leave the bass at home. I'm also worried about your comment "set a bad precedent."

 

Marriage isn't a competition, where husband and wife establish boundaries. Marriage, when best practiced, is a complete giving.

 

Love isn't something you feel; love is something you do.

 

So, use the bass on gigs. Not on vacations. In the future, if you feel the need to practice, your wife will understand and agree with you. Work now on making the relationship attain that standard.

"Let's raise the level of this conversation" -- Jeremy Cohen, in the Picasso Thread.

 

Still spendin' that political capital far faster than I can earn it...stretched way out on a limb here and looking for a better interest rate.

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Originally posted by davebrownbass:

Wait a minute. You have a "beautiful, fretless Stingray 5," but no description of the wife.

 

And you want to spend time in a log cabin in the woods with a dead tree.

 

Do we think you should take the bass along? (Maybe you want to take the bass alone!!!)

 

You mean you have to ask?

 

Leave the bass at home. I'm also worried about your comment "set a bad precedent."

 

Marriage isn't a competition, where husband and wife establish boundaries. Marriage, when best practiced, is a complete giving.

 

Love isn't something you feel; love is something you do.

 

So, use the bass on gigs. Not on vacations. In the future, if you feel the need to practice, your wife will understand and agree with you. Work now on making the relationship attain that standard.

I want this stuff compiled and put in a hard back coffee table book. Great stuff.
Ah, nice marmot.
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Above agreed to. Leave it at home.

 

Also, only GOOD precedent will be set by you distinguishing between quality time spent with your wife and quality time spent with your bass. Think of it this way ... she probably doesn't attend your serious rehearsals and practice sessions.

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leave it you should be having so much sex that you that you will forget all about it. and unless you can play some barry white, the shaft theme, or custard pie by led zeppelin. it should be useless :thu:
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Some day down the road when my children shout at me "YOU'RE NOT PERFECT EITHER, YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT SOME THINGS!" I can pacify the situation by truthfully agreeing with them, if only because of this particular bit of advice: "Bring the bass with you."
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Ok, looks like I got my answer.

 

I wish I was a bit more knowledgeable about quoting others in the text of my message because there were a few comments that I'd like to reply to:

 

"I'm also worried about your comment "set a bad precedent." Marriage isn't a competition, where husband and wife establish boundaries. Marriage, when best practiced, is a complete giving."

 

Right on! My mind is still getting used to this whole "putting-someonelse-first" thing. But when I have done it, it really has been awesome. And I find that, rather than being taken advantage of, she usually ends up putting me first in some way and it works out great! Thanks for calling me out on that one. I have a long way to go.

A few days ago, I saw an advertisment with a fella laying in bed next to his bass with the caption, "She said I had to choose." That sort of got me thinking on that "competition" mode. But really now that I'm getting married she is first. And I just have to trust that she won't say, "Me or the Bass." Marriage is really about being vulnerable. But that's what makes it so great when it works.

 

"If you are seriously asking this question, you should be asking yourself why you are getting married"

 

I don't know about that. I'm getting married because I want to spend the rest of my life with this person (who is infinately more beautiful than any bass!) because I believe that God has brought us together and wants us to stay together, because ....I could go on for a while.........I'm sort of a loner personality and I like to play my bass as much as I can and don't get very much time for it. Certainly my priority that week would be to enjoy her and deepen our relationship. But is it wrong to take a few minutes of personal time? I don't think so. However, after reading everyones posts and thinking on it for a minute, it would hurt her feelings. And that's the bottom line.

 

If everyone on the bass forum says leave it at home...then that's what I better do. Thanks ya'll. I'm glad I asked.

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First I have to ask, how long have the two of you been together? And how comfortable are you together? My fiance and I have been together for almost two years and I know that I wouldn't even have to ask...he would be disappointed if I didn't take my bass.

 

The fact is that most people that are getting married these days have already been living together and should know eachother pretty well. If you are going on a honeymoon for a week you cannot tell me that there is a couple on the planet that is going to spend 24/7 in a bed (on the floor, couch, counter). And yes there are walks in the woods and snuggling by the fire. But what about the fact that you are supposed to enjoy your honeymoon?

 

Would your soon-to-be bride really mind if you sat and played while she read a book or for that matter while she just watched the man she loves do something he loves? The only thing your attention needs to be 100% focused on is having a good time. Not whether or not your are drowning in each other's attention.

 

To me that is what a honeymoon is about. The two of you doing things you enjoy together. Why do they have to be things you wouldn't do at home? If she doesn't enjoy your music then practice while she takes a shower or while she is at the spa. DON'T tell her you will be to bed in a little while and then stay up and practice. Bed is bed honey! Never tell a woman who may want sex to wait on anything or you may just stop getting it. ;)

 

I say take it if you want to. If you are willing to marry this woman then hopefully the two of you are compatable enough that she understands and encourages your commitment to your music.

 

Good luck!!

 

-Kitty

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Does she realize that you and the bass are a package? Does she realize the sacrifice you are making by leaving your beloved Stingray at home? If you had children, would you bring them along? Does she play drums and is she bringing them along? Do you have a gig as soon as you get back?
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Originally posted by tnb:

Does she realize that you and the bass are a package? Does she realize the sacrifice you are making by leaving your beloved Stingray at home? If you had children, would you bring them along? Does she play drums and is she bringing them along? Do you have a gig as soon as you get back?

You shot your whole arguement up with the question in bold! :D (And, BTW, you had some good questions up 'til that one.)

 

I can't speak for all, but my experience of people marrying who have kids from previous unions is that, on the honeymoon, 9 out of 10 couples will leave the kids with grandma & grandpa, or another relative or friend. Who wants their kids on their honeymoon?!? :eek:;)

 

tlv - in order to quote someone, click on the quotes {"} above their post. To add another quote, use the scroll down bar to display a copy of the thread. Use that box's scroll bar to display the text you wish to quote. Mark it. Copy it. type {quote} with [ and ] on either end. (If I type it here it will create a quote and not display the command.) Paste the new quote next to the command, then end with /quote in the same [ and ]. UBB Code has a primer below the quick buttons on the reply page. Any questions should be answered by taking a look at the page hyperlinked as, "What is the UBB Code?"

 

Hope that helps!

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman

 

Soundclick

fntstcsnd

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I have done this but with the consent of my wife.

I took my Tabla on the honey moon tour because I had to play a solo where Zakir Hussain was present as the chief guest. I practiced it 1 hour a day during honeymoon and attended to my wife 23 hours a day. She was very understanding and things went well except for the solo bit at the concert because at the last moment, I decided to do a jam with a Jazz pianist instead of playing alone. That was the only mistake.

 

Take the bass, if you have a important gig coming up, or if nothings up, just leave it behind. This will be the only chance your wife'd get to see you attending to her. Keep her informed that whom she is gonna marry is a musician who will think about music/bass for the 23 hours a day!

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Neil, yeah, I realized that the "bring the kids along" question would shoot the rest of the questions in their collective feet, but I was just offering more food for thought.

 

I just asked my wife if I took my bass along on our honeymoon, she couldn't remember, but she didn't think that it would be out of the ordinary (sometimes I think i'll keep her). Got to love that. Maybe this is an exercise in conditioning your spouse.

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Originally posted by tnb:

.

 

I just asked my wife if I took my bass along on our honeymoon, she couldn't remember, but she didn't think that it would be out of the ordinary (sometimes I think i'll keep her). Got to love that. Maybe this is an exercise in conditioning your spouse.

If you ask and she says "bring it" she may be trying to be understanding but that doesnt mean she wont actually resent it. Its one week man, give the bass a nice rest :)
Your Friendly Neighborhood Pirate- Idnarb
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dude if you sing her a moonlight sonata with nothing but a bass then, first, your the man, second, it might be worth it. other wise just leave it at home. maybe, just maybe your hands will be busy elsewhere!
I didn't come here to play. I came here to make babies.
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Originally posted by 57pbass:

I think the first thing you need to do is to ask the wife ?

I strongly disagree. Don't even ask!

 

Just leave the bass home.

Hey you white boy there

Go play that funky music

"ok...what's it pay?"

 

first smoke, then silence

your very expensive rig

dies so gracefully

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Originally posted by Idnarb:

If you ask and she says "bring it" she may be trying to be understanding but that doesnt mean she wont actually resent it. Its one week man, give the bass a nice rest :)

What she said. Really.

Hey you white boy there

Go play that funky music

"ok...what's it pay?"

 

first smoke, then silence

your very expensive rig

dies so gracefully

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A real man, a devoted man, a true lover of a man would sell the bass and upgrade the honeymoon package.

 

He would also spend the rest of his life resenting his action, blaming his wife, and they would be divorced in 6 months.

 

For real, I sold a sax to buy a honeymoon. It was a good decision, no regrets. Anyway it was an alto and it just wasn't my bag, I'm a tenor player. And a bass player. But not a tenor bass player.

 

God bless you and your wife (and bass) in this marriage. More important than the bass, let her hold the remote control sometimes.

- Matt W.
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Let me get this right:

 

You're going on your honeymoon, to a litte cabin probably in some peaceful, secluded spot in the woods of North Carolina. Nature all around you. Romance in the air. And you want to take your Stingray?

 

Are you nuts? I would NEVER take the Stingray.

 

A nice acoustic bass guitar, maybe, but definitely not the Stingray. :cool:

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I didn't bring mine on my honeymoon (I don't think she would have appreciated it. :rolleyes: ). However, as we set up our apartment I buried a practice amp behind a table and placed the bass on a stand in our living room. It was not a surprise or an issue - we had talked about my playing, practicing, etc. And it was as nice a bit of wood as anything else we could afford. ;)

 

Over the years we had good and bad communication about my playing. And yes Kitty, there have been nights when I've been either playing or typing at the computer when I've said "I'll be in in a minute" and didn't. I can't account for what I may have missed those times, but at some point I noticed her reply became "no you won't". That's when I only delayed long enough to let her wash up first. Thanks for giving our newlywed some very good advice.

 

Tom

www.stoneflyrocks.com

Acoustic Color

 

Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars and keep your feet on the ground. - Theodore Roosevelt

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