The Blame Game

[Gator Wing]

[quote]Originally posted by mdpetrick@yahoo.com: [b]No, she blames the state lottery for not picking her numbers.[/b][/quote]Its a conspiracy against us. [img]http://www.gifs.net/animate/beetles.gif[/img]

[Lee Flier]

Man, this thread is KILLING me! Too funny! :D Especially Erik, and Eric W.! Fucking genius. Erik, keep writing stuff like that and you can spell your name any way you want.

[Tom Capasso]

[quote]Originally posted by midispaceho: [b]I blame the New Kids on the Block for starting the boy band thing. [/b][/quote]My daughter liked them for a while, but by the time she got past them, she was really too old for the next group. I don't think they started it. I'm not sure who to blame, but "boy bands" started a long time ago. Blame adolescent hormones instead.... Tom

[The Bear Jew]

Ok... I blame Linkin Park for abusing autotune. I blame everyone for not buying The Dwarves' CDs. I blame Neil Peart for every teenaged drummer who wants to play "YYZ" with a band who shouldn't even be playing "Louie Louie" and for replacing John Rutze. I blame Kikwear for making all those HUGE fucking pants that all the kids wear to my shows. I blame it on Rio. I blame David Allan Coe for using the "n" word in "If That Ain't Country." I blame Gershwin for "Rhapsody In Blue." I blame Blondie for "Rapture." I blame Al Gore for inventing the Internet and making people upset about MP3s. I blame Incubus for having too much airplay and too little content. I blame Jaco Pastorious for all those bassists who won't use a pick or play a fretted bass and for dying before we could hear all the good shit he could've done with Joni Mitchell. I blame Hank Williams for II and III. I blame Alice Cooper for playing golf. I blame Aerosmith for making everyone who is 1/2 their ages look like wussies who don't know how to rock. I blame Ronnie James Dio for being like a rainbow in the dark. I blame Minor Threat and Ian Mackaye for seriously fucking up and writing "Guilty Of Being White." I blame that red-headed kid on "King Of The Hill" for cracking me up every time I see him. I blame Malcolm MacLaren for Bow Wow Wow. I blame Dee Dee and Joey Ramone for starting the trend of bands where everyone has the same fake last name and for dying. I blame Lou Reed for being so callous and "New York." I blame The Dead Boys for needing lunch. I blame Handsome Dick Manitoba for being right. I blame Chrissie Hynde for looking like a cross between Jeff Beck and Ron Wood but having a deeper voice and writing better songs than either of them. I blame George Micheal for wanting your sex. I blame Prince for the movies "Purple Rain" and "Under The Cherry Moon" and for having too much talent and not enough sense. I blame ZZTop for having two guys with huge beards and one guy who doesn't -- and the guy who doesn't have a beard is NAMED Beard. I blame Britney Spears for being cute, confused and for being the topic of wayy too many conversations. I blame Smokey Robinson for looking at the purse first. I blame Green Day for the fake Brit accents, sweet harmonies and solid songs. I blame Dee Snider for being stone UGLY. I blame Lee for giving me that warm fuzzy feeling and making me write another mammoth "blame" post.

[Dan South]

I blame Erik for being too f---ing BRILLIANT! :D Very insightful thread. I can't think of anyone I'd really like to blame, though. Those deserving my scorn have had (or will get) their just desserts - I hope. Someone said, "You can fix the blame or you can fix the problem." I'm afraid that I don't have the time or the energy to try to do both. Brilliantly entertaining thread, regardless!

[Rim]

I blame Razor & Tie for not getting smartbomb out to the masses. I'll blame MTV and the big wigs, too, because they probably felt smartbomb didn't have "the look". I blame Stryper for making Christian rock not taken seriously by many. I blame Loudness for the lack of Asian rock stars (OK, there's James Iha but that's one). I blame Flock of Seagulls for Flock of Seagulls. I blame Nike for $100 sneakers. I blame my step dad for throwing me out of the house which drove me from NY to DC and then my mom wonders why I don't come visit often. I blame SSS for my increased goofing off at work.

[gearmike]

I blame Erik for making me want to read his post in a monotone, run-on sentence style that makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe. I blame Erik for my making my boss look over my shoulder...

[realtrance]

I blame Josef Stalin for killing Leon Trotsky. There... it's out.... now we all know. rt

[sixpence_dup1]

I blame Paul McGuinness for bringing U2 to America. I blame Sony for everything else.

[XNU8D]

One of the funniest threads I seen here in a long time. My $ 0.02. I blame: George Wallace for setting back civil right decades and thinking he could just apologies it away, please DON'T R.I.P. Lynyrd Skynyrd for 3 guitar southern rock and Drive-By Truckers for making me think it kind of cool to listen to them and Molly Hatchet again. Really good musician who can't write decent songs and really lame musicians who can. Mozart for too many notes, Bach for Baroque, and any classical composer who influenced Alicia Keys. The Left Banke for starting the whole "Baroque'n'Roll" in the '60s. My cousin for making me listen to Willie Nelson instead of just hearing Willie Nelson. My brothers for getting me stoned and making me listen to Firesign Theatre and Frank Zappa till it made complete sense. My mother for making me think all kind of things were lewd, evil, and wrong, making me want to do them even more. My father for looking like Buddy Holly and dying before I got to know him.

[strat0124]

[quote]Originally posted by audio-idiot: [b]Lynyrd Skynyrd for 3 guitar southern rock and Drive-By Truckers for making me think it kind of cool to listen to them and Molly Hatchet again.[/b][/quote]Drive by Truckers!!!! excellente

[Salty Tonk]

I blame Kinky Freidman for writing some hillarious stuff. :D :D

[Sylver]

I blame Monty Python, Pink Floyd and marajuana for the sorry state of my mind. I blame Jimi, Kieth Moon, Bon Scott and John Bohnam for not knowing when to stop. I blame Stevie Ray for getting on the heliocopter. I blame Eric Clapton for not getting on the helicopter. Iblame Eric Clapton for hiring some idiot to watch his kid. I blame Mark Bolin for getting in the car. I blame Freddie Mercury for having unprotected sex. I blame Philly for having a lousey original music scene. But most of all ... Above all others for the hell that this world has become ... For the nightmares that haunt me ... For the general destuction of rock and rock and all things sacred ... For high hair and spandex ... For popmetal ... For cheesy guitar sounds ... For cheesy vocals ... And just about everything else ... I blame Jon Bon Jovi.

[Gabriel E.]

I blame Clive Davis for taking talented people and making them REALLY famous before they're ready so that they never mature and become really good. And for making said people sing shitty songs. I blame Clive Davis for Kenny G. I blame Tommy Mattola and Umberto Gattica for making people think that just because someone can hold a note for a really long time loudly, they're a good singer. As a result, hacks like Christina Aguilera are now considered "talented". I blame whoever invented vocal comping and the Autotune for the same reason. I blame Maurice Starr and Joseph Jackson for exploiting children and making them freaks and/or egomaniacs. I blame Prince for substituting funk jams for songs and for becoming a Jehova's Witness. I blame D'Angelo for putting out the best Prince record in years. I blame Puffy for legitimizing the MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice "loop a famous song" method of "songwriting". I blame anyone Swedish or French who plays pop music for trying to play pop music. I blame anyone German who plays Country music or Jazz for trying to Country or Jazz. I blame any European who raps for trying to rap. I blame LaToya, Janet and Michael Jackson for ruining their faces. I blame Maxwell for removing the pedal steel from the radio version of "This Woman's Work". I blame Wal-Mart for existing. I blame people who shop at Wal-Mart because "it's cheap" for being blind. I blame Natalie Portman for being hot and for appearing in a movie that was basically a 90 minute Wal-Mart commercial. I blame Morrisey for ruining great songs by singing them. I blame Johnny Marr for not finding a better singer. I blame Brian Mulroney for fucking everyone and making Canada uninhabitable for decades to come. I blame Clear Channel Communications for pretty much everything.

[Gabriel E.]

Also: I blame Ted Nugent for basically just being stupid and thinking he's good at something other than shooting a gun. I blame Zakk Wylde for trying to be Ted Nugent. I Blame Bon Scott for dying. I blame indy rock for mostly sucking. I blame college radio stations for mostly playing shitty, mopy indy rock that all sounds the same. I blame British pop bands for trying too hard to be clever. I blame Eddie Van Halen for everything after "1984". I blame the Red Hot Chilli Peppers for getting old. I don't blame Neil Young for anything. I blame Americans for caring more about sports than anything else.

[RobT]

[quote]Originally posted by Gabriel E.: [b]I blame Prince for substituting funk jams for songs and for becoming a Jehova's Witness. I blame D'Angelo for putting out the best Prince record in years. I blame Puffy for legitimizing the MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice "loop a famous song" method of "songwriting". [/b][/quote]Dang. LOL! this has got to be the funniest thread I've read in months. I blame Chris Webber for NOT getting any smarter as a player since his appearance in the NCAA finals years ago. I George Shinn for the death of pro basketball in Charlotte :( I blame the Eastern Conference for the lack of any serious challengers to those [b]blankety-blank[/b] Lakers. I blame VIBE magazine for the opinion that African Americans ain't supposed to play rock. I blame Clear Channel for the death of interesting music on the radio. I can't blame Scotty Bowman for anything (Go Wings :D ) RobT

[The Bear Jew]

Wow... You guys really picked up the gauntlet. Love it. However..... I blame Alice Cooper for Marilyn Manson. I blame REO Speedwagon for suing REO Speedealer, destroying a great funny band name and sucking. I blame Curtis Mayfield for ruining wah-wah guitar for everyone who wanted to get his sound in the '70s. I blame John Doe for Exene Cervenka. I blame nostalgia for being a thing of the past. I blame Nigel Tufnel for turning it up to 11 and leaving the ol' tagger on it. I blame Gene Simmons for the Kiss Kasket. I blame Mother Juggs for Speed. I blame The Beastie Boys for fighting for the right to party and then getting all political about it later. I blame Screaming Jay Hawkins for putting a spell on you ('cause you're mine) and for having too many damn kids. I blame Smokey for The Bandit. I blame Orson Welles for selling no wine before its time. I blame Jim Morrison for being a fat, bloated drunk with too many books, addictions and talents. I blame Snoop Dogg E. Dogg for pretending to be a thug when he's really a geek. I blame Mr. Drummond for his kids' behavior. I blame Oliver Stone for Forrest Gump. I blame Australia for Yahoo Serious, The Outback Steakhouse, Mel Gibson, Men At Work, Foster's and vegamite. I blame B.J. for The Bear. I blame Lynryrd Skynyrd for every asshole who yells "Freebird!" at a concert. I blame Souxie for The Banshees. I blame The Old Dirty Bastard for being a modern folk hero. I blame Mr. French for Buffy's behavior. I blame Sam for Dave. I blame Natalie Cole for fucking up her father's song and cashing in on his legacy without any real merit of her own. I blame The Taliban for having an unpleasant-sounding name. I blame Tower Records for not having a "Stoner Rock" section. I blame Howard Stern for making me laugh at fart and dick humor while I am supposed to be working. I blame your mama for being so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. I blame Hollywood for making a movie out of Scooby Doo and not casting me as the voice of Scooby. I blame Lisa Lopez for being Left Eye and dying before I got to hear her solo album. I blame James Hetfield for adding an "UH" to every fucking word he sings. I blame Steelheart for never letting you go. I blame everyone for not realizing that Rob Halford was gay about a zillion years ago. I blame Stevie Wonder for being ridiculously talented and a bunch of really bad hairstyles. I blame WASP for fucking like a beast. I blame Bob Marley for Ziggy Marley. Please help me I can't stop. I blame I blame I blame I blame

[Eric Worthington]

I blame finger pointers. I blame Freud, for the concept of projection, where people take their own weaknesses and insecurities and project them onto others. I blame chat rooms for fostering an atmosphere of projection. I blame internet forums for raising projecting to an art form. I blame artists, for thinking every little endeavor they fall into is an art form. I blame critics, who point out how pretentious artists are for thinking they've raised something to an art form. I blame ant farms, for not being art forms. I blame Art Formes, a guy I went to high school with. I blame writers who end sentences with prepositional phrases; there are other words to end with. I blame hyperbole, the worst trend in the history of all humanity. I blame self-referential sentences--especially this one. I blame writers who write everything as one long, endless post.......punctuality being.......shall we say--random? Maybe there are complete sentences. Maybe not. Perhaps - a dash here....some dots there; never a semi-colon. And an apparent lack of realization that the ENTER key is also the return bar. (Back in the day--and by the by, I blame people who use antiquated colloquialisms, not to mention unneccessarily polysyllabic words--there was this thing called a typewriter. It had a key called "Return" which is what one used to create something called a new paragraph) BTW, I also blame condescending writers. See, kids, condescension is when one speaks down one's perfectly formed nose at the audience--as if those ignorant buggers would understand a bloody word anyway. Oh, and IMHO, BTW, I blame the military and corporate America for the proliferation of ACRONYMS, IFYKWIM. I blame brevity. And getting-right-to-the-point-in-one-conveniently-hyphenated-word. Boom. And I blame onomotopia. And non-sequitors. And threads that in and of themselves make no sense. And I blame writers who waste everyone's time, particularly their own. I blame bakers who waiste everyone's thyme. I blame bad puns--who kneeds 'em? And finally, I blame the Warren Commission, for creating the term "grassy knoll." Is there, say, a dirty knoll? Is the mound of slop at the construction site a muddy knoll? Could there be an asphalt knoll? I've been all over this country, and only in Dallas have I encountered the elusive grassy knoll. I have to say, after all these years, they've kept the grass up nicely. But what really struck me, standing there on Elm Street in Dealy Plaza, on the hill overlooking the spot where JFK was killed, was how incredibly knoll-like it felt. Mmmmmmm.....knolly.

[Dwarf]

Thus spake Erik: ". I blame Australia for Yahoo Serious, The Outback Steakhouse, Mel Gibson, " Uhh, dude, Mel's American. Born in Peekskill New York. Moved to Oz as a child. And who didn't know that Rob Halford was gay? Come on! Him and Freddy Mercury had the whole gay biker thing happening for years! -- Rob

[Gabriel E.]

I blame the Catholics for being "shocked and outraged" that their church underwrites child molestation. Duh! I blame Catholics for not thinking that maybe it's a little weird for a young man to take a lifetime vow of celebacy. I blame myself for not assasinating Kenny G. I blame hipsters for thinking it's "ironic" to like bad music and wear ugly clothes. I blame Oliver North for committing Treason. I blame Metallica for becoming .38 Special. I blame Tammy Fae Bakker, Joan Collins and all the women ever on Dynasty for looking more like drag queens than real drag queens. I blame the NRA for making it easier for "people to kill people". I blame Disney for making Huey, Dewey and Louie speak like raspy voiced kids. I blame whoever gave the Pink Panther a voice for worrying that "someone might not get it". I blame John Coltrane for repeatedly blowing my mind. I blame anyone who refers to anything post 1980 as "punk" for being an ignorant doofus. I blame Southerners for not getting over losing a war almost 150 years ago. I blame George Lucas for not doing more with a good concept. I blame Steven Speilberg for being really talented but wasting most of it. I blame Aerosmith for being more popular than Run DMC. I blame Public Enemy for ruining it by being hypocrites. I blame most rappers for being a cliche. Nu metalers too. "I blame society for making me what I am." Q: What movie does this line come from? - 50 pts.

[XNU8D]

[quote]Originally posted by Gabriel E.: [b] "I blame society for making me what I am." Q: What movie does this line come from? - 50 pts.[/b][/quote]"That's bullsh-t. You're a white suburban punk, just like me." Repo-Man United Fruitcake Outlet

[Salty Tonk]

I blame Hormel for SPAM. :D

[JulieCat]

I blame several people on these forums for making me laugh until I nearly wet myself. I blame myself for not getting back into life with Depends. I blame Canada for music the US doesn't even know about. I blame the Tragically Hip for being so tragically hip. I blame Tweeter for the Monkeyman. I blame Kraft for making people think that it's actually macaroni and cheese. I blame Jack Frost for nipping at your nose. I blame Jack Daniels for some former nipping of my own. I blame my cat for throwing up on the rug this morning. I blame my garage for not having a band in it. I blame Ralphie for making me want to reply “You'll shoot your eye out, kid” every time someone posts about guns. I blame Billy Joel for movin' out. I blame George Clinton for wanting the funk. I blame the Teletubbies for baby talk. I blame musical theatre. Nobody breaks into song like that while being backed by a full chorus during a conversation in real life. I blame Styx for the Grand Illusion. And finally, I blame Eric Worthington for my most recent Depends moment. Julie

[strat0124]

I blame Country Dick for dying onstage before the East Coast got to know him. I blame whomever was driving and hit Clarence White. I blame Foxy Brown for occasionally making my pants just a little tighter. I blame Willie G for making Harleys yuppie machines so ordinary citizens can be a badass on the weekends. I blame the Stones for treating Mick Taylor like a regular sideman. I blame Corporate radio for not recognizing Doyle Bramhall II and for canonizing all the pretty boy bands. I blame McDonalds for not putting the McRib on the regular menu. I blame Dan Rather for being too chickenshit to tell the truth about the Bush administration. I blame NPR for all the fund drives. I blame me for not going to third base with Gracie Elie. I blame Gracie Elie for not inviting me to third base! I blame Rush Limbaugh for corrupting DIX. I blame Craig for being so fucking good at electronics. I blame whomever the asshole was that invented call waiting.....does it piss you off too? I blame cable TV providers for scrambling porn. I blame outlaw cable tv boxes for descrambling porn. I blame John McCain for not being a better junk yard dog during the Republican primaries. I blame Musicians Friend for not being friendly. I blame Mexicans for inventing Mexican food that helped make my fat ass. I blame infomericals for putting hot chicks that supposedly lost 750lbs to attract big girls to spend money. I blame ATM machines for the rash of blind folks driving through to use ATM's. I blame drunk chicks for not remembering me in the morning. I blame Nashville for forgetting real country. I blame radio again for ignoring Pat Green and a couple hundred more Texan musicians that just kick ass. I blame me again.....I should've kept the ShoBud....it was a classic.

[Salty Tonk]

[quote] I blame Nashville for forgetting real country. I blame radio again for ignoring Pat Green and a couple hundred more Texan musicians that just kick ass. [/quote]AMEN BROTHER! :thu: :thu:

[Gabriel E.]

Audio-idiot, 50 points for you. ;) I blame myself for watching Repo Man too many goddamn times.

[The Bear Jew]

yeah yeah yeah. I blame Digitech for making those horrible "all-in-one" pedalboards for guitarists and bassists who think there really [i]is[/i] an "all-in-one" solution to good tone. I blame Barry Manilow for writing the songs the whole world sings. I blame Sha Na Na for agreeing to play Woodstock. I blame Smokey The Bear for trying to prevent forest fires. I blame Cassious Clay for Muhammed Ali. I blame Milli Vanilli for Rob and Fab. I blame Shane for coming back. I blame Chicago for sucking after "25 Or Six To Four." I blame Yes for splitting up, re-forming and splitting up again while sucking. I blame Fritos for being too tasty. I blame myself for not knowing Mel Gibson was from New York. I blame Louisville for the Slugger. I blame L7 for rocking and quitting. I blame Stephen King for my nightmares and for letting directors fuck up his books when they're made into movies. I blame David Coverdale for wanting to be Roberrt Plant. I blame Robert Plant for not being Robert Plant anymore. I blame Joe for not saying it ain't so. I blame Paul Simon for Art Garfunkle. I blame Mary Lou Retton, Donny Osmond and Farrah Fawcett for having big teeth. I blame Anthrax for Dan Spitz's insanity. I blame .38 Special for not being Lynyrd Skynyrd. I blame Pure Prairie League for fallin' in and out of love with Amy. I blame James Brown for methamphetamine use, interstate flight and for being too funky for words. I blame Chuck Taylor and Converse for canvas sneakers. I blame Ricky Martin for not coming out of the closet. I blame Robin Williams for quitting cocaine and not being funny anymore. I blame Bananarama for a cruel, cruel summer. I blame The Reverend Horton Heat for not being more popular. I blame Steve Malkmus for no more Pavement. I blame Sweden for too much black metal. I blame you for not knowing Thee Michelle Gun Elephant. I blame Robert Smith for killing an arab. I blame The Coen Brothers for not making more popular movies. I blame Al Green for his bad Jheri curl in the '70s and for sounding like an angel with a soul in hell. I blame The Screaming Trees for breakign up. I blame Seal for looking like he took a faceful of hot gravel.

[Wewus432]

Eric: I think you have some ah issues, you need to work on.

[strat0124]

Actually Rev Horton Heat(h) is WAY popular in Texas.......and with bohemian freaks like me in exile. ....one mo blame: I blame Mojo Nixon for impregnating Debbie Gibson with his two headed love child!!!!!

[Franknputer]

[quote]Originally posted by Geenard Skeenard: [b]Actually Rev Horton Heat(h) is WAY popular in Texas.......and with bohemian freaks like me in exile. ....one mo blame: I blame Mojo Nixon for impregnating Debbie Gibson with his two headed love child!!!!![/b][/quote]You mean before you could? :D