Hugo H Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Here's a place to post any songwriting humor that you'd like to share. Songwriting humor? Yep, there is such a thing. Maybe Kawai GS-40 grand & other keys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugo H Posted December 1, 2005 Author Share Posted December 1, 2005 I wrote this a few days ago and posted it elsewhere first (a lyrical critique site). It's a reviewer's lament sung to the tune of "Simply Irreistable", with my apologies to Robert Palmer. Just a bit of comical parody to brighten your day, hopefully Simply Uncritiquable How can it be permissible These lyrics reprehensible, yeah yeah That kind of song is lyrical But the words are just too terrible It's a tune you just know, it's got wonderful flow You're tapping your toes but you have to explode It could've made sense to me! but now I find it Simply uncritiquable Simply uncritiquable The wording is so meaningless, huh It's simply unbelievable The lyric's irredeemable My comment's inexpressable He's a natural muse, he should leave me enthused He deserves a review, but I'm so confused It could've made sense to me! but now I find it Simply uncritiquable Simply uncritiquable (Simply uncritiquable) It's so lame, there's no rhymin' where the stress goes (Simply uncritiquable) There's no shame, there's no rhythm line to line It's unavoidable, I'm backed against the wall I've got to post something to post my own again I'm writing comments now, no matter how cornball It could've made sense to me, but now I find it Simply uncritiquable It's so lame, there's no rhymin' where the stress goes (Simply uncritiquable) There's no shame, there's no rhythm line to line The lyrics are inscrutable The proof is irrefutable, Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It's so completely horrible, huh The words are undefineable It's a song you could love, if the words you could shove You're obliged to post now by the rules from above It could've made sense to me, but now I find it Simply uncritiquable Simply uncritiquable It's so lame, there's no rhymin' where the stress goes (Simply uncritiquable) There's no shame, there's no rhythm line to line It's so lame, there's no rhymin' where the stress goes (Simply uncritiquable) There's no shame, there's no rhythm line to line Simply uncritiquable © 2005 Hugo Hemmerich Kawai GS-40 grand & other keys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric VB Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 That is ... simply uncritiquable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugo H Posted December 9, 2005 Author Share Posted December 9, 2005 A couple of enterprising bass players, unwilling to sit through a long, bass-less stretch of Beethoven's Ninth, sneaked off stage and into the bar next door. Beer flowed; time passed. "Look at the time! We have to get back!" said one. "Relax," said his partner, "I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It will take him a few minutes to untangle it." They staggered back into the hall and took their places. About this time, a member of the audience noted that the conductor was breaking a sweat. "Of course," replied her companion, "It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score's tied, and the bassists are loaded!" (courtesy Jerry Herbstreit, Milwaukee) okay, that was a music joke, but what the heck! Kawai GS-40 grand & other keys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric VB Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 It's pretty funny! At first I thought the bassists were going to be the butt of the joke, but instead I was pleasantly surprised. I chuckled. Not quite guffaw material. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugo H Posted December 15, 2005 Author Share Posted December 15, 2005 Though impressed by the child's enthusiasm, Franz's teacher was always having to remind the boy not to leave things unfinished. Kawai GS-40 grand & other keys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugo H Posted December 21, 2005 Author Share Posted December 21, 2005 I ran across these two anecdotes in Henry Mancini's autobiography. ------- After his long climb to success, Henry, a man who lived relatively modestly, bought a boat. His friend and fellow composer David Rose had one, too.... "On the weekends, Ginny, the kids, and I enjoyed going out for a cruise. I would get up on my flying bridge with my sailor's cap on and have a wonderful time. Usually, toward the end of the trip, we would put the drinking flag up and have one of our afternoon toddies. One Sunday I was sitting there luxuriating in the sea air, my foot up on the flying bridge, leaning back with a drink in one hand and guiding the boat with the other, when I saw smoke coming towards us. It was David, chugging along in one of his steamboats, the black smoke pouring out of it. It reminded me of Little Toot in the cartoons. He drew nearer, and I could see him, his wife, Betty, and their kids. Then I saw that he too had a drink in his hand. As his boat passed mine, he raised his drink in a kind of salute and called out, "Aren't you glad you practiced, Hank?" ------- Later he purchased a vacation home in Vail and was there one Christmas with the producer of Laugh-in, George Schlatter... "George and I had decided to take a mid-morning break. We went down to Vail village and entered a tiny shop. We ordered hot chocolates and were standing at the counter drinking them when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a young, good-looking couple. The man asked, "Are you Henry Mancini?" And I, giving my best "ah, shucks" crooked smile, replied, "Well, yes, I am." He said, "You dropped your credit card." ------- (from Did They Mention The Music? by Henry Mancini with Gene Lees, Contemporary Books, Chicago, 1989) Kawai GS-40 grand & other keys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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