Monhe Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I am looking for some feedback on a song I wrote. I have been working on it for weeks now and sometimes I like it, sometimes i think it sucks. Would really appreciate it if anyone could listen and let me know what they think of the music, lyrics and lead voxs. Any help would be appreciated. Would be happy to return the favor. Song is "I lose" www.myspace.com/monhe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 How about introducing yourself Monhe The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shniggens Posted April 24, 2005 Share Posted April 24, 2005 It sucks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, just kidding. I didn't even listen to it. Amateur Hack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mixposure Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Nice guitar, those lyrics raise a smile. I like the background vocals too. Good harmony, nice track. http://www.mixposure.com/banners/468x60ban.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sendai Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 It's fine. I like the fact that all of us musicians can now get our music out like this! I like the tension released in the rock section - you gotta give people something to grab a hold of. I wonder, do we really need another sad song about how life sucks? The lyrics are sort of a downer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve West Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 It's very melodic and haughting to me. I really like it. It sounds very contemperary (being an old schooler myself)to me. Did you do all the parts or is this your band? Keep up the good work and let me know when the CD is available ;-) Steve West Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monhe Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 Thanks all for the feedback. I agree the lyrics are a bit of a downer, I am trying to quit...but you know its really hard to write a happy song I did not play all the instruments, actually I only played guitar and did the lead vocals, and my friend pretty much did everything else. I appreciate the feedback. If there is anything I can ever help out with let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Nursers Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 You still haven't introduced yourself The Keyboard Chronicles Podcast Check out your fellow forumites in an Apple Music playlist Check out your fellow forumites in a Spotify playlist My Music: Stainless Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welsh Knight Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 Melancholy song. Needs more "guts" and strings on the middle eight. Try it on a piano with strings instead of the guitar, and increase the level of the bass. (in my opinion of course) Bring back tunes and melodies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnie 5 Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 Thats a good song!!!! i'm really into john frusciante, so i love anything mellow like that. well done. keep it up. check out www.zeropoint.org.uk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric VB Posted June 9, 2005 Share Posted June 9, 2005 Overall, Monhe, I think it's a decent song. It clocks in at 3:26, so it's not too long. Yet still experiments with some variety so it doesn't sound overly repetitive; pretty good for something based primarily on an 8-count/4-chord progression. Like Sendai said, rocking out in the middle is greatly appreciated, as well as the outro. The melody works, the picked guitar chords work, the piano and the other instruments are a nice addition. I only listened twice, and I can still hear the "I lose"s in my head (it's good to be catchy). However, allow me to get nitpicky. I'm not a big fan of the way the chorus sounds the first two times. Something with the volume of your voice dropping to accommodate the backup vocals without making that section any louder than the verse? Have you tried it more as an alternating duet? I think that'd work better: have the female vocals handle the chorus with the same amount of "up frontness" your vocals have during the verse. You can join her on the "I lose"s with the harmony line you sing at the end of the song. Keep the vocals up front! Or give them a dynamic direction; probably a slow fade on the vocal tracks (w/ or w/o increasing effects) over the "I lose"s would be cool, IMO. But don't fade them out completely. Keep the last chorus (in the outro) as is. On the "rock out bridge", I have a hard time hearing your vocals over the distorted guitar; I think there's some frequency masking going on. If that's what you want, fine, let it be. At the end of this, however, the drums seem to cut too abruptly for my taste; let the cymbals ring or fade them out more slowly. Personally, I think the song is too laid back for the 4-letter word. If you were getting really emotional, teary-eyed, loud, angry ... fine ... but I don't hear that. Try something more subdued, more subtle. (Or maybe it's just the geezer in me that doesn't relate to you young'ns.) "No one wants to lay with me", etc. Did I say I was gonna nitpick? Yes, and I did. And now I feel somewhat souless ... like a producer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.