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Is this close enough to a rhyme?


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The 2nd and last lines of this verse?


Don't give up on life early

It's a movie you watch 'til the end

Mother gave you free admission

We paid with the note you sent


Is it wierd using past and present tense in the same verse/phrase? Hmmmmmm . . .

Amateur Hack
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Originally posted by shniggens:

THe 2nd and 4th lines. 'End' and 'Sent'.

Assonance: the vowels rhyme (make the same sound). Examples: great/lane, steam/scene


It's a more subtle type of rhyme - a good substitute for worn-out "perfect rhymes." Satisfying and easy on the ear.


Keep writing,


Don Turner

TaoManna Media Productions

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm with Don and Cherri... I often try to get as far away as possible -- who wants to have a pat rhyme? I come from a background of early 20th C poetry and it took me a while to get over my aversion to rhyming... but my experiments with unrhymed verse in songs were unrewarding.


I also don't get obsessive about holding to a rhyme scheme if the song pulls me away or suggests a variation.


All that said, we have things like rhyme schemes and metric patterns for reasons -- the mind likes order and likes discovering order in what at first seem like random events.

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Why is everyone so concerned with rhyme? Only anal retentive music professors and music critics are gonna sit around and pan you if your song doesn't rhyme exactly. I say "screw rhyme", "screw worrying about past and present tense" etc. Just make sure it sounds good when it's sung. If it sounds good and you like it, that's all that counts.
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