I'm Back

[Tedster]

Originally posted by henrysb3:

Dec. 6 is the seven month anniversary of my first operation under general anesthesia.

 

General Anesthesia...didn't he command those troops in Lebanon a while back?

[Dan South]

Originally posted by Coaster:

hi all, i am back. sorry about the long delay in posting/reading this forum. i went off the net for a long time and was fairly unaware of anything happening in cyber-land.

Hope you had a nice break!

 

on the health front, found out the cause of my beathing issues recently:

 

i have a sinus issue where the passages in my upper-respiratory system are too small and shut off/become clogged easily. this clogging causes my lungs to react in a desparate way trying to resolve the issue but only making it worse. this is a form of athsma, however conventional forms of fighting athsma have not worked and this caused my body to become very ill and begin to shut down.

Wow! Good luck with your treatment. Have your doctors considered whether your condition may be cause by allergies? I used to have hellish sinus problems. Someone recommended that I try avoiding dairy products. The effect took a couple of weeks to kick in, but it's been a night and day difference. Might be worth considering before Rotorooter excavates your head.

 

as fellow musicians, we all share a certain degree of "mental issues" as this is why we do music. we are all a little crazy to a point, if you disagree, simply read any post in this forum for a rebuttle

 

my physical condition unfortunatley caused a "dark period" in my mental state, and i abandoned a lot of important things in my life, this forum included. i cannot explain this and offer no excuse, other than i needed to begin finding something; something inside, some serious past issue that is not yet clear.

Sorry to hear about your difficult times. You always seemed pretty normal to me. Maybe we're all a little crazy here. I don't worry about the people who recognize that they're a little different; I worry about the ones who think that they have it all together. Know what I mean?

 

i no longer party like i used to. its not fun anymore.

Good for you!!!!

 

 

i also struggle with expression lately - its as if i have nothing to say anymore. i DO, but i cannot find it right now. i lie awake at night and watch my brain pull boxes and boxes of unkown things and shuffle them around so fast i sometimes have little capacity to do much else. i need to find out what is in these boxes, this is a key to a problem of which i do not know the question yet.

 

this may sound crazy, and maybe i am - i do consider the thought quite often. the things i love and do may be quite weird to some and are quickly becoming farther apart from the rest of the world.

 

right now i feel as though i am waking from something, something dark and something empty but i do not know what. this may or may not all be related to my physical condition, or may simply be some kind of breakdown i am coming out of - i dont know.

Your attitude is encouraging. All of us don't fit into the same mould. The happiest and most productive people live their lives as the want. The ones who try to fit into a preconfigured ideal of conformity are usually miserable and scared to death.

 

on december 6th, i go in for surgery. they will drill out all my sinus passages and create about 10 1CM holes in my face so that my upper respiratory system functions correctly. also they will break my nose and reposition it so that it is straight inside. this scares the living hell out of me - there is a 1/1000 chance i will go blind or suffer brain injury - a very low chance but still...i am dreading dec 6.

Don't worry about the risks. That sounds reasonably low. When I had surgery, I was frightened, but I told myself that all I had to do was show up. No big deal. It'll be fine. Do you have some people around who can help you our during the first days and weeks of recovery? People to go to the store for you, etc?

 

i read some of the posts today looking for me and yes, i am david j tesch of fargo north dakota. my main income is derived from live sound/studio recording. i am 31. my truck is 35. i am a lot different now than i was in february. maybe a lot less fun, maybe a lot less naive, maybe a lot less of a risk-taker. i still like beer, and nachos, although the beer thing has tapered off drmatically - the nachos maybe not so much

I'm sure that you're a much better, much happier person now, if for nothing else but your self-awareness.

 

if i have learned anything, it is that i am a real person and my problems are my resposibility, and that my actions represent who i am. this said i have chosen to return to the world of craigs forum and to the real-life world around me in north dakota. however a certain "fun spark" in me seems to be missing and my motivation for creation is an impossible uphill battle.

Relax and enjoy your life. Fun is where you find it. It's not hanging out in a bar somewhere, at a party, or in a bottle. In fact, I think that it spends most of its time in a park.

 

i'm still in a tejano band, but i no longer drink when working, ever. other people can and thats fine, but i will wait till after work. this is true in the studio and when doing live sound as well. some bands cant understand why i wont do shots with them during the show and get kind of upset when i refuse. watching back videos of my band causes me to question whether or not this is a good thing or not - on the videos i am a much more lucid player when i drink which i find odd - i never feel drinking enhances my playing - it only makes it harder - but playback does not lie. i dont know what to think of this other than i need to learn how to play lucid sober like i do when i have had a few beers and i am unsure how to go about that - but drinking beer at work is not going to happen anymore.

Stick to your guns! You'll like your life a lot better when you demand more of yourself.

 

that feels good to get this off my chest. i hope to sort out some of this stuff soon. i also need to re-evaluate some of the things i am doing in life, like working and generating income etc.

 

i am back now. i will be here from now on. thanks for your concern. this is my favorite place to be.

 

and I AM NOT CEREAL!!

Welcome back, and good luck from the whole gang!

[YourMotherShouldKnow]

Originally posted by Coaster:

- there is a 1/1000 chance i will go blind or suffer brain injury - a very low chance but still

The same chance you'd have crossing the autobahn on crutches. Very, very low.

 

Glad you're coming out of this. Don't doubt yourself. We're all capable of far more than we think.

[Hanshananigan]

Originally posted by Ani:

...There is only one part that I might disagree with, if you were dependent upon alcohol or substance of any kind before, I would avoid anti-depressants at all costs; they can become another form of a crutch. ...

Good add, Ani- thanks!

 

BTW Coaster, I had a nasal septiplasty about 10 years ago when I was 24ish. Apparently he did it the hard way, so I had to wear a gauze sling under my nose for a couple weeks and let the blood and stuff ooze out. I felt bad for my roomates. I felt worse for myself, though! I found out later that the quack missed the fact that I had a nasal spur, and the packing put continuous pressure on it- it hurt like a b*tch!!! I suppose, otherwise, it wasn't much worse than having tonsils taken out. But then ago, it was a long time ago... hope your experience is better! Oh, by the way, for whatever reason, my septum is once again as "deviated" as ever! (I'm sure you'll have better luck!)

[phaeton]

Excellent!

 

Glad to hear that ya'll have gotten to the bottom of the physical ailments. My dad had a deviated septum as well, from getting his nose broken in little league when he was a kid. He didn't enjoy recovering from the surgery, but it was quick, and he says he'd do it all over again.

 

About the emotional stuff, i can identify with a lot of what you say up there. I think last year was my time for that. Must be something that hits around 30 or so.

 

Anyways... Once again, glad to see you back and on the mend. It sounds like you are in some dark times, but they are lifting. Try not to get to hung up over things, but i will second what Tedster says- no shame in getting help.

 

I'm no professional, and i'm sure you've got plenty of ppl to talk to, but if all that fails, pm me.

 

Also, i promise not to troll anti-mac drivel for a whole month!