John O. Lennon Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 "So two Irish priests walk out of a pub..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bbach1 Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 must be closing time bbach Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g. Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 No. They wouldn't be walking if that were the case. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sistatroll_dup1 Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 So, two guys walk into a bar... You'd think the second guy would of seen it! "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." -Robert Heinlein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offramp Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Originally posted by John O. Lennon: "So two Irish priests walk out of a pub..."No, really...it could happen!! I've upped my standards; now, up yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave The Rave Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 What do you call a lake without any water? Cambrian Guitars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave The Rave Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Originally posted by Jardini: What do you call a lake without any water?A valley of course! :DTR Well, you wanted DRY humour.... Cambrian Guitars Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Groan... An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a redneck walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of a joke?" "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sp3nc3r Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 A man walks into his Dentist's office one day and got his check-up. The dentist looked at his teeth and was horrified - "What on earth did you do to your teeth, they're "falling out your head" rotten!" The man replied, "Well, I have a strange addiction to Hollandaise sauce. I simply can't get enough of it. I eat it morning, noon, and night with whatever food is being served." The dentist said, "Well, it's now clear why your teeth have decayed away to nothing. I guess we'll be putting chrome plates in your mouth to take care of this." The man was puzzled, "Why chrome plates Doc, and not regular dentures?" "Well", calmly said the dentist, "there's no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise." Cheers! Spencer "I prefer to beat my opponents the old-fashioned way....BRUTALLY!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wraub Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Peace, wraub I'm a lot more like I am now than I was when I got here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John O. Lennon Posted November 12, 2004 Author Share Posted November 12, 2004 Originally posted by offramp: Originally posted by John O. Lennon: "So two Irish priests walk out of a pub..."No, really...it could happen!![Offramp, allow me to extent props from both of us to James Garner ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John O. Lennon Posted November 12, 2004 Author Share Posted November 12, 2004 Originally posted by Spencer Crewe: A man walks into his Dentist's office one day and got his check-up... While rotten teeth are quite Irish, flag is thrown for lack of obligatory moisture in the joke... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouizel Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 You guys like "Animal walked into a bar" jokes? Yes? Here ya go. A baby seal walked into a club... **Standard Disclaimer** Ya gotta watch da Ouizel, as he often posts complete and utter BS. In this case however, He just might be right. Eagles may soar, but Ouizels don't get sucked into jet engines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realtrance Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Actually no, I don't. Dry enough for ya? How about this: When you're masticating, do you usually swallow afterwards? I'm done. rt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 It is possible for two Irishmen to walk OUT of a pub. They could have tought it was the door to the loo! Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Two bass players walk past a bar.... . . . . . well, it could happen... Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 A fish swims into a concrete wall and sez "Dam!" Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shniggens Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Two gerbils walk past a gay bar. One says to the other, "Hey, wanna get shitfaced!?!?!" Amateur Hack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by realtrance: When you're masticating, do you usually swallow afterwards? I'm done. rtYes, most often. Unless it's tobacco. "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Studio Pet-Rock Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John O. Lennon Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by Botch.: A fish swims into a concrete wall and sez "Dam!"Botch gets it----obligatory moisture content, players!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boosh Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by John O. Lennon: "So two Irish priests walk out of a pub..."can you say contradiction? Fan, nu pissar jag taggtråd igen. Jag skulle inte satt på räpan. http://www.bushcollectors.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 I actually heard George Wallace tell this one: A jew, a black, an irishman and a pollish guy walk into a bar... And the bartender says; "You-all get the hell outta here!" -David http://www.garageband.com/artist/MichaelangelosMuse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitefang Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 An ape lumbers into a bar, sits on a stool and orders a beer. The surprised bartender brings it to him, and the ape gives the barman a $10 bill. Thinking the ape can't be too bright, even though he can talk, gives back $2 in change. As the ape sips the drink, the bartender leans on the bar and casualy remarks, "Y'know, we don't get very many apes in here." "I shouldn't wonder," says the ape, "at eight dollars a beer!" Whitefang I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chip Curtis Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 If I melt dry ice can I swim without getting wet? -Steven Wright Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Base Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 A horse walks into a bar, the barman asks, 'Why the long face'? Fa Fa FA Fa fa fa fa fa FA fa FA FA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boosh Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 2 skeletons walk in a bar and ask for two beer and a towel. Fan, nu pissar jag taggtråd igen. Jag skulle inte satt på räpan. http://www.bushcollectors.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryson Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Two guys walk into a gay bar, and as they're about to sit down one says to the other, "allow me to push your stool in". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherri Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 A three-legged dog limps into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." www.metalblues.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botch. Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, then starts hearing piano music from behind the bar. He looks over and sees a tiny guy, about a foot tall, playing a piano. Cool, he thought, then noticed an old brass oil lamp. He absentmindedly picks it up and starts rubbing it, and a genie appears! "Master, I can grant you one wish!" So he wishes for a million bucks and the genie disappears. Suddenly the door swings open and a duck walks in. Then another... and another... soon the place is full of ducks and there's more outside the door. The bartender runs up to the guy and says, "You didn't rub that lamp, did you?!?" Guy sez "yes, and I wished for a million bucks". "Well", said the bartender, "that damn Genie is hard of hearing, and you just got a million ducks! I mean, you didn't think I really wanted a 12" pianist, did you?" Botch "Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will www.puddlestone.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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