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more dry humour

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A man walks into his Dentist's office one day and got his check-up.


The dentist looked at his teeth and was horrified - "What on earth did you do to your teeth, they're "falling out your head" rotten!"


The man replied, "Well, I have a strange addiction to Hollandaise sauce. I simply can't get enough of it. I eat it morning, noon, and night with whatever food is being served."


The dentist said, "Well, it's now clear why your teeth have decayed away to nothing. I guess we'll be putting chrome plates in your mouth to take care of this."


The man was puzzled, "Why chrome plates Doc, and not regular dentures?"


"Well", calmly said the dentist, "there's no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise."






"I prefer to beat my opponents the old-fashioned way....BRUTALLY!!!!"
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You guys like "Animal walked into a bar" jokes?




Here ya go.


A baby seal walked into a club...

**Standard Disclaimer** Ya gotta watch da Ouizel, as he often posts complete and utter BS. In this case however, He just might be right. Eagles may soar, but Ouizels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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An ape lumbers into a bar, sits on a stool and orders a beer. The surprised bartender brings it to him, and the ape gives the barman a $10 bill. Thinking the ape can't be too bright, even though he can talk, gives back $2 in change. As the ape sips the drink, the bartender leans on the bar and casualy remarks, "Y'know, we don't get very many apes in here." "I shouldn't wonder," says the ape, "at eight dollars a beer!"



I started out with NOTHING...and I still have most of it left!
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Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, then starts hearing piano music from behind the bar. He looks over and sees a tiny guy, about a foot tall, playing a piano. Cool, he thought, then noticed an old brass oil lamp. He absentmindedly picks it up and starts rubbing it, and a genie appears! "Master, I can grant you one wish!" So he wishes for a million bucks and the genie disappears.

Suddenly the door swings open and a duck walks in. Then another... and another... soon the place is full of ducks and there's more outside the door. The bartender runs up to the guy and says, "You didn't rub that lamp, did you?!?" Guy sez "yes, and I wished for a million bucks". "Well", said the bartender, "that damn Genie is hard of hearing, and you just got a million ducks! I mean, you didn't think I really wanted a 12" pianist, did you?"


"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will


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