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Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?


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Subject: FW: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

 

 

 

 

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which

is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

 

 

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs

heat)?

 

 

 

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

(gas

cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

 

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we

need

to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at

which

they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul

gets to

Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

 

 

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state

that

if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since

there

is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to

more

than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

 

 

 

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of

souls in

Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of

the

volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature

and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

proportionately as souls are added.

 

 

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

 

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter

Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all

Hell

breaks loose.

 

 

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in

Hell,

then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

 

 

 

So which is it?

 

 

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take

into

account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be

true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen

over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,

it

follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,

extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine

being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

 

 

 

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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Originally posted by Tedster:

Excellent. That now joins the list of FWD emails I'll be sending.

I knew that with a post title with the words exothermic and endothermic in it Tedster, the resident meteorologist would jump right on it.

 

One question.

If the density of hell is decreasing cause its size is expanding faster than the number of souls entering does this mean we are "raising hell"?- Ugghhg.

Check out some tunes here:

http://www.garageband.com/artist/KenFava

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There are a multitude of cultural conceptions of Hell but sticking for a moment with the traditional European/Christian version, I've always found a confusing dichotomy...

The standard view is that Hell is a lake of fire.

However in Medieval, Aristotlian imagery it was viewed as the opposite extreme from Heaven, equated with the Sun.

If the Sun is heat & warmth wouldn't Hell be cold?

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Fire, uncontrolled, is far more dramatic than a frozen wasteland. Plus, most versions of hell seem to show it emanating from underground. Given an understanding of Volcanoes by many peoples, even those not living near one, they probably assumed that the unstoppable destructive power of molten lava pretty much summed up what Hell is about. (Plus, many cultures live in cold and ice 1/2 the year or more. Nobody lives in fire. ;) )

 

Great post! :thu:

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman

 

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http://pep.us/Clay/hell.jpe

 

Just about covers it, doesn't it? :D

**Standard Disclaimer** Ya gotta watch da Ouizel, as he often posts complete and utter BS. In this case however, He just might be right. Eagles may soar, but Ouizels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Originally posted by fantasticsound:

Fire, uncontrolled, is far more dramatic than a frozen wasteland. Plus, most versions of hell seem to show it emanating from underground. Given an understanding of Volcanoes by many peoples, even those not living near one, they probably assumed that the unstoppable destructive power of molten lava pretty much summed up what Hell is about. (Plus, many cultures live in cold and ice 1/2 the year or more. Nobody lives in fire. ;) )

Underground Hell is a derivation from Greco-Roman/Christian imagery; Buddhist Hell(s) are located indeterminately, mostly imagined in the mind. Honestly I'm not sure if there's an Islamic Hell but most religious cultures don't even have the concept of eternal damnation.

As far as "the unstoppable destuctive power of lava flows", it's true volcanoes can be destructive for quite a distance but lava flows slowly---most people can outwalk it--- & flows generally cool off enough to solidify in less than a mile.

 

BTW, Ouizel, is that sign from Hell, Michigan?

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Originally posted by george costanza:

BTW, Ouizel, is that sign from Hell, Michigan?

I'm not 100% certain, but I'd guess yes.
**Standard Disclaimer** Ya gotta watch da Ouizel, as he often posts complete and utter BS. In this case however, He just might be right. Eagles may soar, but Ouizels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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Originally posted by John Sayers:

Subject: FW: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

This is a similar story, just a little older. I guess the student knew it.

 

The following is a question on a physics exam at the University of Copenhagen:

 

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

 

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that he failed the student who immediately appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct.

 

The university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.

 

The arbiter ruled that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. It was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

 

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.

 

On being advised to hurry up the student replied: "First, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from this formula I have worked out for you on my text paper here."

 

Then the student added, "But, Sir, I wouldn't recommend it. Bad luck on the barometer."

 

"Another alternative", offered the student, "is this: If the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer,then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional geometry to work out the height of the skyscraper. On the paper is the formula for that as well."

 

"But, Sir, if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in a gravitational formula, which I have determined here this time on a long sheet of paper with a very long and complicated calculation."

 

"Or, Sir, here's another way, and not a bad one at all. If the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

 

"But if you merely wanted to be very boring and very orthodox about the answer you seem to seek, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof, and on the ground, and then convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

 

"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

 

The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane ever to win the Nobel Prize in physics.

 

Niels Henrik David Bohr (1885-1962). Danish physicist and one of the foremost scientists in modern physics. He was professor of theoretical physics at the University of Copenhagen and was later director of its Institute for Theoretical Physics, which he helped to found. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1922 for his work on atomic structure and the hydrogen atom. Classical theory had been unable to explain the stability of the nuclear model of the atom, but Bohr solved the problem by postulating that electrons move in restricted orbits around the atom's nucleus and explaining how the atom emits and absorbs energy. He thus combined the quantum theory with this concept of atomic structure. He was also known for his robust jousts, often humorous with Albert Einstein.

-Peace, Love, and Potahhhhto
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> George W Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes

> to hell where the

> devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do

> here," says the

> devil. "You're on my list, but I have no room for

> you. You definitely

> have to stay

> here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've

> got three folks here

> who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of

> them go, but you have to

> take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who

> leaves."

>

> George thought that sounded pretty good, so he

> agreed. The devil opened

> the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large

> pool of water. He

> kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and

> over and over. Such

> was his fate in hell.

>

> "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a

> good swimmer

> and don't think I could do that all day long."

>

> The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony

> Blair with

> a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he

> did was swing that

> hammer, time after time after time.

>

> "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I

> would be in

> constant agony if all I could do was break rocks

> all day!"

>

> The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw

> Bill Clinton, lying on

> the floor with his arms staked over his head, and

> his legs staked in

> a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica

> Lewinsky, doing what she

> does

> best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a

> while and finally

> said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

>

> The devil smiled and said...........

> "Ok, Monica, you're free to go."

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That George Bush thing is pretty funny!

 

Okay, check this out (the original post may be an urban legend, although it really doesn't matter since its very funny!):

 

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

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