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Good Ole Country Wisdom.


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1. Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

 

2. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

 

3. Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.

 

4. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps

 

5. A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

 

6. Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.

 

7. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.

 

8. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

 

9 Meanness don't happen overnight.

 

10. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.

 

11. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.

 

12. Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

 

13. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

 

14 Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.

 

15. Two can live as cheap as one, if one don't eat.

 

16. Don't corner something meaner than you.

 

17. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.

 

18. Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or weeds.

 

19. It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

 

20. Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.

 

21. You can't unsay a cruel thing.

 

22. Every path has some puddles

 

23. Don't wrestle with pigs: You'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.

 

24. The best sermons are lived, not preached.

 

25 Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

 

26. The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building.

There was a good reason for the move: You can't post Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery and Thou Shall Not Lie, in a building full of lawyers and politicians without creating a hostile work environment.

 

Our Joint

 

"When you come slam bang up against trouble, it never looks half as bad if you face up to it." The Duke...

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LOL! :D

 

While this isn't really a "political" post, you should post it over there too... there is currently a lot of vitriol over there towards country folk, and a bit of their wisdom might lighten the mood a bit. ;)

 

BTW Dak, did you call me recently? I have a phone message by the phone with your number on it, but I'm not sure if it's an old message or not - no one bothered to date the message, and after the AES trip, I've been trying to get caught up and call everyone back.

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What's wrong with rural types? Well, besides this and that? Urban people seem to be so closed off to any realities other than their own. I mean, how do you expect to build a 6000 sq ft home without lumber? And why should that lumber be available, but people who live in areas where that is still a renewable resource all be losing their jobs? Instead, that lumber is coming from other areas, some of them where the practice of making it is raping the land. Same with mining.

 

Get real, you urban REI nutcases.

 

There: that's my rant for the month^H^H^H^H^H^H day -

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Originally posted by Philip O'Keefe:

BTW Dak, did you call me recently? I have a phone message by the phone with your number on it, but I'm not sure if it's an old message or not - no one bothered to date the message, and after the AES trip, I've been trying to get caught up and call everyone back.

Yeah, nothing pressing, check yer PMs.

 

Our Joint

 

"When you come slam bang up against trouble, it never looks half as bad if you face up to it." The Duke...

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Urban people seem to be so closed off to any realities other than their own.
But that doesn't go for rural people, because they're generally so well educated, informed?

 

Yep, sounds like political forum material to me.

Just a pinch between the geek and chum

 

 

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27. A big girl is just as good in bed, but can a skinny girl pull the plow when the horse is sick?

 

28. Skinny girls can't cook.

 

29. Don't chase women based on their appearance. It's the part about them that lasts the least amount of time.

 

(#29 courtesy of my dad)

Dr. Seuss: The Original White Rapper

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WWND?

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Originally posted by Botch.:

Originally posted by Philip O'Keefe:

What do you care Botch? You're big enough to pull a couple of plows all by yourself. ;)
I'd rather be smart enough to get someone else to do it. :P Wonder why I'm still single? :D
LOL! So if I understand you correctly, you're looking for a big, somewhat intelligence-challenged lady who is good in bed and can pull a plow when the need arises.

 

I'm sure there's plenty of those in the USAF. :P;):D

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Originally posted by Philip O'Keefe:

I wasn't going to go there, but now that you're brought it up... ;):eek:

 

Let me guess - someone made a nav error and missed the range?

Since it was a USAF Guard guy and not an AF Reserve plane, I'll let FunkJazz answer this one. Damn, that's embarrassing!! :o

Botch

"Eccentric language often is symptomatic of peculiar thinking" - George Will

www.puddlestone.net

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