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Should I play Dr. Phil??


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Maybe not the best idea :(

 

But my friend has been presenting the story to me like, his wife is always so cutting and demeaning to him, like she doesn't respect him...

 

But when I am around them, as an outsider, the impression I get is that she is in some pain (which she would never just let him know--perish the thought that people could actually communicate!) and wishes he would be there for her more...

 

:confused:

 

I will probably just keep my mouth shut :(

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Hmm, this sounds very familiar. I know a couple who recently went through the same type of thing... they'd been married for a long time and a lot of communication had become stunted, so the wife basically spent a lot of time yelling at the husband, belittling him and trying to boss him around. It WAS because she wanted him to talk to her, which eventually came to the surface and things are a lot better now... but even she herself didn't realize for a long time that anything was bad, it was just habit.

 

I don't see anything wrong with mentioning this to your friend if that's your gut feeling.

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(Dr. Phul): (read slowly)

 

"Doo YOOO think it's a PROBlem that they can SOLVE?

Each ONE has to take SOME kind of responsiBILity.

He's NOT a MIND reader. She has to LET him KNOOWWW. He ALSO has to take steps to comMUNicate.

BRING them on my shoooww...I will rePAIR their reLATIONship, because...I AM Dr. Phul, and I know EVERYthing."

 

The guy is in the top 5 of the most anNOYing people on the tube, and that's a lot of people.

 

Anyway, I wouldn't do more than mention a bit of therapy to either of them, to get things out, and that's only if they asked what I thought. Unless you're a therapist, or a REAL doctor. That kind of mental stress can take a toll on the physical health.

 

Tele Kinesis

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I think your intentions are honorable and, if acted upon, they may help two people who clearly need it. However, it's been my experience that often even well-meaning suggestions and observations can be met with defensive hostility. I don't know your friends, but don't be surprised if they temporarily set aside their differences to band together to defend themselves from what they perceive is criticism.
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Originally posted by Tele Kinesis:

(Dr. Phul): (read slowly)

 

"Doo YOOO think it's a PROBlem that they can SOLVE?

Each ONE has to take SOME kind of responsiBILity.

He's NOT a MIND reader. She has to LET him KNOOWWW. He ALSO has to take steps to comMUNicate.

BRING them on my shoooww...I will rePAIR their reLATIONship, because...I AM Dr. Phul, and I know EVERYthing."

 

Tele Kinesis

L :D L
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