Let the band dissolve quietly?

[EddiePlaysBass]

A (long) while ago, I started a band with some friends. Initially we had our mind made up about playing hard rock and metal covers but it quickly morphed into bluesy americana with some rockabilly influences. There was a good bit of jamming within the songs we covered, and i enjoyed it immensely. We booked some small gigs to get our feet wet, and got good responses.

 

Two things happened next: first our singer decided we should start playing his (boring) originals, which did nothing to broaden our audience. Then Covid, of course. The singer has started a different (originals) project, but despite a handful of rehearsals earlier this year, nothing has happened since the beginning of July. 

 

And I find myself not caring a lot. I don't miss the guys, don't miss the music, don't miss the non-existent gigs. While I still very much enjoy playing bass, I feel zero need to do it in that particular setting, and judging by the lack of action on our group chat, no one else seems keen on getting together again either.

[KuruPrionz]

Fair enough, just go start or join a different project that suits you better. 

If that project was the ONE and everybody felt that way, you'd still be doing it. 

 

If some of the other band members were great to work with then maybe pick them up along the way. 

 

I retired from a band almost a year ago, we were chugging along as a 4 piece and the bandleader wanted to add a 5th member who does not understand the value of silence or know any music theory whatsoever, as in he doesn't know what a C note is. So you can't tell him "This is a 1-4-5 in A", he has no idea what that means. Once he hears it he can pick it up pretty quickly but that's after the fact. And rule number one for me is "do NOT play over the lead singer". He does it constantly. I just let him take my place and moved on. 

Life changes, let it be. 

[butcherNburn]

Well, it seems like you already made your decision and thankfully you didn't express any great blow out so do your best to part as friends in case individuals meet again (drummers can be hard to find). We all know bands are essentially a dysfunctional family, with shared equipment like the PA being the kids.

 

If you are not loosing your livelihood and get no enjoyment from it there is little to loose.  It doesn't even sound like you have to quit.

[lug]

My band finally disolved after losing our 7th drummer over about a 7 year stretch. The singer/songwriter expained to me many time how this has all been the various drummers faults. When he finds an 8th drummer, I'll be back. 

[Dave Bryce]

 just went through a similar thing with a band we were trying to out together.  Most of us wanted to rock, but one of the singers wanted to do more pop stuff.  The energy and grooves were fun at first...but song selection turned into a nightmare...and it got to the point where we couldn't even decide on a name.  

 

 

I was gonna quit, but there were some friends in the band I didnt want to offend...so I just bided my time and one of them eventually pulled the plug.

 

dB

[butcherNburn]

Reoccurring theme on many levels.

 

The Bass player is holding things together while the more eccentric are zipping off in their own, often self serving or narcissistic, directions.

[SteveC]

Seems like you have your answer and it’s resolved itself. If some of the old guys would fit in a new band bring them along. 

[EddiePlaysBass]

The guitarist just opened the discussion via group app: "What're we gonna do, everyone still up for it?"

 

Drummer replied that he likes the current low-stress, low-expectations setting.

 

Singer replied with: "Good question..."

 

I have yet to reply. Gonna think about this a bit first.

[KuruPrionz]

On 9/21/2022 at 6:47 AM, EddiePlaysBass said:

And I find myself not caring a lot. I don't miss the guys, don't miss the music, don't miss the non-existent gigs. While I still very much enjoy playing bass, I feel zero need to do it in that particular setting, and judging by the lack of action on our group chat, no one else seems keen on getting together again either.

From your OP, this says it all, no?

In my experience, bassists can find bands to play in more easily than most musicians. Take a look around, there should be something that works for you. 

[Tom Capasso]

Sounds like you are done - that they don't have the direction needed to move forward.
Maybe meet and say what YOU want and see how that goes, but if you don't miss the other players it sounds weak..

 

Thanks

Tom

[lug]

Sounds like it was enjoyable until the singer went awol on the band's direction.  The solution is simple.  Kill the singer and find a new one that is more pliable.  My last singer called me crazy so this is how I took care of the same situation.  My doctor called me a psychopath, gotta look up what that is but I suspect it means someone who gets stuff done. 

[KuruPrionz]

1 hour ago, lug said:

Sounds like it was enjoyable until the singer went awol on the band's direction.  The solution is simple.  Kill the singer and find a new one that is more pliable.  My last singer called me crazy so this is how I took care of the same situation.  My doctor called me a psychopath, gotta look up what that is but I suspect it means someone who gets stuff done. 

Or maybe just a bass player? 😬

[EddiePlaysBass]

Well, in short: we called it quits. Both the drummer and guitarist said they are not very actively pursuing music right now and want to focus on other things.

 

Guess I will be looking for new musicians soon, then. But first, a bit of soul searching and woodshedding is in order. Let this sink in a bit, and see where I want to go next.