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What NAMM stands for — wrong answers only!


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With NAMM meeting in person this June for the first time since January 2020, I was reminded of the old wisecrack “Not Available, Maybe May” to refer to manufacturers who are pokey about getting their shiny new product to market after thirst-trapping us all with their trade show demo. But why should NAMM only have one alternate meaning? My fevered brain thought of a few in the car today, and I’ll bet SSS can do even better. In spite of the ageless wisdom to never explain a joke, I’ve added brief ones because, well, not everybody goes.

 

- Nearly Adjacent Mickey Mouse (proximity to Disneyland)

- Nice After Making Money (it can be expensive to attend)

- Newbies Always Make Mistakes (like interrupting a red badge and blue badge who are talking to each other)

- Nobody Artist Menaces Marketers ("My EP is totally going to blow up! I'll endorse you for free gear!")

 

Can we keep this going?

Stephen Fortner

Principal, Fortner Media

Former Editor in Chief, Keyboard Magazine

Digital Piano Consultant, Piano Buyer Magazine

 

Industry affiliations: Antares, Arturia, Giles Communications, MS Media, Polyverse

 

 

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Never A Melodious Moment (dedicated to the Drum Hall - as the old saying goes, "You can never have too many people all playing drums loudly, at different rhythms, at the same time")

Nightmarish Anaheim Motel Madness (if you've stayed at the Desert Inn, you know what mean)

Neverending And Meaningless Meetings (aka marketing purgatory)

Noisy Advertising & Marketing Men (they follow you around, telling you that you just HAVE to see the most amazing invention in the history of western civilization)

 

 

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Newbie Aussie Meets Mates (getting to go in 2020 and having the joy of meeting a bunch of people in the flesh including @Anderton @Dave Bryce @Joe Muscara@Doerfler and many others (sorry to tagging got the better of me :D )

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Never Again, Mike Martin

Nobody Ask Mike Martin

 

and just to be fair,

 

Not Again, Muscara! Man!

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"I'm so crazy, I don't know this is impossible! Hoo hoo!" - Daffy Duck

 

"The good news is that once you start piano you never have to worry about getting laid again. More time to practice!" - MOI

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I've got nothing right now. However, I will point out that this acronym also stands for "National Association of Margarine Manufacturers".

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2 hours ago, Anderton said:

Nubile And Magnificent Models (a tribute to the thankfully almost extinct species of hired "booth babes")

They did seem to be disappearing, didn't they? When I first began attending NAMM, one of the things that struck me as odd were seeing tons of people lining up to take a photo with a beautiful woman that they had probably never seen before.

 

The other odd things? How many '80s metal people there were, how insanely loud it was, and how putrid the air was.

 

Notoriously Awful Metal Music (it's not super funny, but eh, it's the best I could do on short notice and for free).

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22 hours ago, KenElevenShadows said:

[Booth babes] did seem to be disappearing, didn't they? When I first began attending NAMM, one of the things that struck me as odd were seeing tons of people lining up to take a photo with a beautiful woman that they had probably never seen before.

 

One of my secret techniques for getting really good NAMM demos was going up to the women at booths and assuming they weren't booth babes. They were so happy that some dude took them seriously they really got deep into the products. Of course, sometimes they were booth babes and shuttled me off to some marketing guy, but you can't win 'em all.

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Not Another Music Meetup

Yamaha: Motif XF8, MODX7, YS200, MX61, CVP-305, CLP-130, YPG-235, PSR-295, PSS-470 | Roland: Fantom 7, JV-1000

Kurzweil: PC3-76, PC4 (88) | Hammond: SK Pro 73 | Korg: N1R, X5DR | Emu: Proteus/1 | Casio: CT-370 | Novation: Launchkey 37 MK3

Former: Emu Proformance Plus & Mo'Phatt, Korg Krome 61, Roland Fantom XR & JV-1010, Behringer CAT

Yamaha Pacifica 112V & APX600 | Washburn WI64 | Ibanez BTB-675 | Roland TD-17 KVX | Alesis SamplePad Pro | Assorted organs, accordions, other instruments

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23 hours ago, Anderton said:

  

 

One of my secret techniques for getting really good NAMM demos was going up to the women at booths and assuming they weren't booth babes. They were so happy that some dude took them seriously they really got deep into the products. Of course, sometimes they were booth babes and shuttled me off to some marketing guy, but you can't win 'em all.

Haha! I did that too, but...well, they always shuttled me off to someone else. Every single time.

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1 hour ago, Anderton said:

Nary A Mature Musician! Although admittedly, I wouldn't want it any other way :)

Rock music stunts growth!

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Noisy Artist Mashup Mishaps

Normal Annual Musical Madness

No Artists Making Money

Nerds Associate Midst Musicians

 

People assume timbre is a strict progression of input to harmonics, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timbrally-wimbrally... stuff

 

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On 3/4/2022 at 12:22 PM, Anderton said:

Nubile And Magnificent Models (a tribute to the thankfully almost extinct species of hired "booth babes")

Nubile Augmented Modified Models ?

People assume timbre is a strict progression of input to harmonics, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timbrally-wimbrally... stuff

 

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