TrancedelicBlues Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Sheesh!! I'm an advice columnist, not a freakin' omnipotent solver of riddles. How the bloody fruitcake am I supposed to know what those lines between the nose and the mouth are called? Or how cheese was invented? (Actually I do know the answer to that one. It started when a lazy ancestress of Duddits did not lap her milk bowl entirely clean. The resulting crud that formed in the kitty's milkbowl turned out to be damned tasty on a hamburger) You people are just trying to ask me impossible questions in order to see me fall flat on my face. Come on, now! Ask my advice in matters of the heart!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Dear Abby, uh, will I hate myself in the morning if I love myself tonite? http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 28, 2004 Author Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by Mats Olsson.: Dear Abby, uh, will I hate myself in the morning if I love myself tonite? You will if you leave yourself stuck with the hotel bill! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonboy Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 It's called a philtrum... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 I'm invited to a upper class wedding. What tie-knot should I use? (I really like to wear suits but I'm not much of a tie guy) http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 28, 2004 Author Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by Mats Olsson.: I'm invited to a upper class wedding. What tie-knot should I use? (I really like to wear suits but I'm not much of a tie guy)Use the "I flunked English Grammar but my Dad has lots of money" knot!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan South Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 What qualifies YOU to dispense love advice, Dr. Phil? Note: Dr. Phil is not a certified counselor. He only plays one on TV. The Black Knight always triumphs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by TrancedelicBlues: Originally posted by Mats Olsson.: I'm invited to a upper class wedding. What tie-knot should I use? (I really like to wear suits but I'm not much of a tie guy)Use the "I flunked English Grammar but my Dad has lots of money" knot!! Thanks! http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barandine Vondenger Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by Mats Olsson.: [QB][/QB]MATS avatar is really funny..LOL.. MATS you are so crazy that I like you more now. you must be A fun guy? Frank Ranklin and the Ranktones WARP SPEED ONLY STREAM FRANKIE RANKLIN (Stanky Franks) <<< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 28, 2004 Author Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by Dan South: What qualifies YOU to dispense love advice, Dr. Phil? Note: Dr. Phil is not a certified counselor. He only plays one on TV. What qualifies anyone to have an opinion about anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mats Olsson. Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by arellspencer: Originally posted by Mats Olsson.: MATS avatar is really funny..LOL.. MATS you are so crazy that I like you more now. you must be A fun guy?Thanks R.L.! Nah, I'm not funny, just a boring normal dude. http://www.lexam.net/peter/carnut/man.gif What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? Later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Strat Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Ok, serious question here. When I see a woman I'm attracted to, I usually introduce myself and make it a point to say hello when I see her, but it never seems to go any farther than that. If I ask a girl out, usually they say they've got a significant other, and I usually let it go at that instead of persuing her. What the hell am I doing wrong? BlueStrat a.k.a. "El Guapo" ...Better fuzz through science... http://geocities.com/teleman28056/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tedster Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by bluestrat: Ok, serious question here. When I see a woman I'm attracted to, I usually introduce myself and make it a point to say hello when I see her, but it never seems to go any farther than that. If I ask a girl out, usually they say they've got a significant other, and I usually let it go at that instead of persuing her. What the hell am I doing wrong?Use a patented pick up line. Like: "If you think you'll regret this in the morning, we can sleep til afternoon". "Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halljams Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Women scare the hell out of me till i get them naked, then all want to do is go spend time in the studio with out them, what am i doing wrong? Check out SUPERVIBE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 28, 2004 Author Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by halljams: Women scare the hell out of me till i get them naked, then all want to do is go spend time in the studio with out them, what am i doing wrong? There's no hope for you at all, you sicko!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barandine Vondenger Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by bluestrat: Ok, serious question here. When I see a woman I'm attracted to, I usually introduce myself and make it a point to say hello when I see her, but it never seems to go any farther than that. If I ask a girl out, usually they say they've got a significant other, and I usually let it go at that instead of persuing her. What the hell am I doing wrong?YOu ain't asking enough girls. or asking the wrong ones. LISTEN and Look for signs of them being with someone. some girls MIGHT see a horny dude that ONLY wants to paw and fumble.TRY to keep from being him.. BE cool when They say they have someone. I say stuff like:Oh the good ones are always hitched up.. or: so then I guess us getting married is out of the question? finde an older woman thet wants hot sex..theys lots of them.. OH yeah! Frank Ranklin and the Ranktones WARP SPEED ONLY STREAM FRANKIE RANKLIN (Stanky Franks) <<< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Thrashole Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 If I ask a girl out, usually they say they've got a significant other, The answer to that is "do you think he can beat me up?" even if you don't get anywhere it still makes them smile. Reach out and grab a clue. Something Vicious My solo crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halljams Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by TrancedelicBlues: Originally posted by halljams: Women scare the hell out of me till i get them naked, then all want to do is go spend time in the studio with out them, what am i doing wrong? There's no hope for you at all, you sicko!! I'm not paying for that. That's the same shit my mother has been telling me for years. You suck. Perhaps astrology would be more up your alley. Check out SUPERVIBE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doug osborne Posted May 28, 2004 Share Posted May 28, 2004 by John Prine Dear Abby, Dear Abby ... My feet are too long My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call Signed Bewildered Bewildered, Bewildered... Chorus: You have no complaint You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't So listen up Buster, and listen up good Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood Dear Abby, Dear Abby... My fountain pen leaks My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead Signed Unhappy Unhappy, Unhappy... Repeat Chorus Dear Abby, Dear Abby... You won't believe this But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head But my stomach tells me to write you instead Signed Noise-maker Noise-maker, Noise-maker Repeat Chorus Dear Abby, Dear Abby... Well I never thought That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees Signed Just Married Just Married, Just Married... Doug Osborne Music on Bandcamp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 29, 2004 Author Share Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by halljams: Originally posted by TrancedelicBlues: Originally posted by halljams: Women scare the hell out of me till i get them naked, then all want to do is go spend time in the studio with out them, what am i doing wrong? There's no hope for you at all, you sicko!! I'm not paying for that. That's the same shit my mother has been telling me for years. You suck. Perhaps astrology would be more up your alley. I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 29, 2004 Author Share Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by bluestrat: Ok, serious question here. When I see a woman I'm attracted to, I usually introduce myself and make it a point to say hello when I see her, but it never seems to go any farther than that. If I ask a girl out, usually they say they've got a significant other, and I usually let it go at that instead of persuing her. What the hell am I doing wrong?The real question is, what can you do that will work? I'm afraid the answer is, most of the time, not much. These are trying times we live in. There are certainly a lot of beautiful women out there, and it can be damned near heartbreaking to see one you would like to talk to, only to realize you can't think of anything to say. These days women are rightfully wary of strangers. Your best bet, perhaps, would be to join some groups that do activities you are interested in. (It could be anything from a book readers' club to a rock-climbing class--your call.) That way, you might meet some interesting women that are interested in the same things you are, and it won't be a situation where you're feeling like, "Oh my God, I'll never see her again, I have to talk to her NOW!!" Take it slow, and just remember this: It's all a crapshoot, but if you don't bet you can't win!! Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrancedelicBlues Posted May 29, 2004 Author Share Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by Doug Osborne: by John Prine Dear Abby, Dear Abby ... My feet are too long My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call Signed Bewildered Bewildered, Bewildered... Chorus: You have no complaint You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't So listen up Buster, and listen up good Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood Dear Abby, Dear Abby... My fountain pen leaks My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead Signed Unhappy Unhappy, Unhappy... Repeat Chorus Dear Abby, Dear Abby... You won't believe this But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head But my stomach tells me to write you instead Signed Noise-maker Noise-maker, Noise-maker Repeat Chorus Dear Abby, Dear Abby... Well I never thought That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees Signed Just Married Just Married, Just Married... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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