How do personal relations affect music?

[Lee Flier]

Yeah I agree Jim... there are definitely stereotypes that apply in a huge percentage of cases. I remember talking with an old friend of mine where he spelled out the "typical" band dynamics (which fit his own band perfectly and most people's) - how there's always the leader/control freak and then there's one guy that everybody in the band scapegoats and picks on and one that tries to be the diplomat and please everybody... that sort of thing. It really is true a lot of the time! --Lee

[Lee Flier]

[quote]Originally posted by difonzo: [b]Many years ago, my old band was having a great run. People came in droves to see us because we were genuinely having a great time and were a lot of fun to watch. We were a very close knit unit, and fans could tell we were having a blast. It was infectious. After about 6 years and a few records on a major label, the keyboard player managed to bring it all to a grinding halt, pitting us all against each other. He did something so stupid that we were all flabbergasted, and the delicate lattice of our strong personalities collapsed. We hated each other.[/b][/quote] Now see, this is the kind of shit I can never figure out. Why in the world would your keyboard player do such a thing? Did he realize what he was doing? A lot of times I have seen good situations destroyed by somebody who either doesn't understand what they've got, and what it will take to keep it going, or they know but they just can't help throwing a wrench in the works. It always just breaks my heart to see that happen. That's why I think discussing stuff like this on a forum like this is a good thing - hopefully people will read this and learn something, like if you've got a great band or partnership you've got to recognize it and be willing to do anything to keep it going, cuz once you've had something like that, if you lose it you really have no idea how much that would suck. --Lee

[Harp Heaven]

Thought this thread would be agreat place to post the story of my first band. I started playing guitar at age 14 one christmas. Three months later I was in a band. The person that inspired me to start playing, and a talented drummer, aged 13, covered Metallica songs and had lots of fun. It stayed there for a while. We were pretty much without ambition, this was just a way for us to improve as musicians. We were looking for a bass player, and a friend of us, turned out to be an extremely talented musician. His semi-psychopath personality was unknown to us, though. The first months he stayed humble. Then, without knowing it, he snatched control over the band. The person in question is a master of speech, not particurlarly intelligent, but he knows where and when to strike. I walked home crying many of those band practices. Things were getting sour, his constant noodling and bitching was pissing everyone off, but neither of us had the guts to kick him. I felt that without him, the band would not survive. The band broke up by itself. I did not touch my keyboard(I had been forced to change instrument by said person)for 2 months. Then I got a call from a bassist, a semi-shredder, that wanted me to collaborate. Being 15, this rocked! My ego was boosted to astronomical values when I got another call by a speed-metal band, that seemed very professional. The first band started off good. The chemistry seemed to work great the first week. We made a 14 minute prog song, we performed it live, and I was ovejoyed when they decided to bring me along. I was dead sure this band would be successful. I was very naive at the time, and the bassist, that in fact eerily resembled the antagonist in my first band, was the subject of serious asskissing from my part. Being a shredder to the nth degree at the time, I liked to show off, and constantly noodled on my keyboard. I did so because everybody else did. The band morale was terrible. The demo we recorded was crap. There was lots of personal contact and back-talking during this time, more so than the music. I spent more time sitting on a cafe talking about how bad the band was than I did practicing. I quit after 7 months. The second band was indeed an interesting story. I was fed with fairytales of success, and being the naive 15 year old I was, I believed it all. The music was hopelessly unoriginal and poorly played ripoff-speed metal, but my eyes and ears were hazed by my own ignorance. I finally took to my senses and quit. Now followed a period of depression, nearly killing my interest in music. I never practiced, composed, I did not have any fun with my music. Then came the gig that sparked the fire again. The first band had gotten a singer and a gig and wanted me to play again. When I got there, they had improved a LOT, and the spirit and mood was fantastic. I then realised what had kept my bands from working for nearly 2 years. I had not done my homework or been quiet at practices. At the time it seemed right because everyone else was doing so, but if you`re going to get the others to shut up and do what they`re supposed to, you`d better do it yourself, preferably more. I cut all personal contact with the guys. I only play music with them, and thats great fun. The time spent at cafes are now spent practicing and making my keyboard voices. IMO, too much personal contact ruins bands. I`m not implying a professional approach to every garage band, but things have a tendency to break down in lunch pauses and jams when people are very good friends.

[JES]

Great topic. Since music became a hobby for me in 1993, I've resolved to only play in bands with people that I'd want to hang out with otherwise. The result? Great music, and almost zero conflict. I was in one band 1994-1999 (when two of us moved out of town) and have in the last year just found formed my first ever two person band (I play bass and he plays . . . bass!). Best, --JES

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From today's [url=http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix.htm]NY Post[/url] : [quote][b]THE Black Crowes are dead ducks. After more than 10 years of hits and hell-raising, the swaggering Southern rockers - anchored by battling brothers Chris and Rich Robinson - have called it quits. Sources close to the band are blaming their bust-up on Chris Robinson's wife, actress Kate Hudson, best known for her role as a groupie queen in Cameron Crowe's "Almost Famous." Though they stopped short of branding Hudson rock's latest Yoko Ono, who broke up The Beatles, our sources says: "Ever since Chris married Kate the whole band dynamic has changed. He's just not around the guys the way he used to be." The band's longtime publicist, Mitch Schneider, told The Post's Dan Aquilante that Robinson has decided to pursue a solo career and that the Crowes "are taking a hiatus, for the time being." He added that drummer Steve Gorman has left the group for "personal reasons." Schneider shot down rumors that Robinson had broke up the Crowes via a fax that announced his solo career and declared the band "irrelevant." "There was no fax," Schneider said. "Rich talks regularly with his brother. In fact, they spent Christmas together in Aspen." The Black Crowes rocketed up the charts with their rollicking 1990 debut "Shake Your Money Maker," which drew comparisons to the Rolling Stones and the Faces. But from the very start, the Atlanta-bred band was plagued by the stormy, often violent relationship between frontman Chris Robinson and lead guitarist Rich. The brothers frequently got into fist fights on-stage and bickered during interviews. Chris recently told an interviewer: "We're definitely older and wiser, but the fact is we are brothers. Brothers are supposed to fight. We're getting along better now than ever. You have to go through rough times to get tighter." The band spoofed its notoriously bad behavior by touring last year with Oasis, whose Liam and Noel Gallagher have also scrapped on-stage, and calling it the "Brotherly Love" tour. Chris Robinson has one of the shorter fuses in rock. In 1991 he was convicted of spitting on a 7-Eleven customer for not knowing who the Black Crowes were. The shaggy-haired singer has also barred The Post from his New York concerts because of an unfavorable record review. But Chris's rancor mellowed somewhat after he married Hudson last year. After he got hitched to the 22-year-old blonde daughter of Goldie Hawn, Robinson, 35, became a fixture at chic parties in Hollywood and Aspen, and was often quoted gushing about his beautiful bride. [/b][/quote]