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Should musicians/artists have children?


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I am thinking not. I am too selfish and can't imagine the world having another psycho to deal with everyday. What do you think? The world is on a downward spiral and doesn't look like it's going to get better anytime soon. So should we have children? Remember this is a question for artists. Why? I am not sure. I just want an artist's perspective.

 

Thanks!

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What kinda question is that,...The world is allways in a downwards spiral.

 

If Napoleons terror stopped my people from having children I wouldn't be here.

 

Have children and teach them to make a difference.

 

I know I definately made my environment a bit better and cleaner and so did the rest of my kin.

 

I'll teach my son to treat people like he wants to be treated and do good things.

 

Maybe if you think like you it is better to have no kids yes.

 

Think positive man.

Fan, nu pissar jag taggtråd igen. Jag skulle inte satt på räpan.

http://www.bushcollectors.com

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Everybody should learn how to be a parent. Everyone who wants to should be willing to learn how to be a good parent, not just have children because you have a auto-response program you're reacting to.

 

I was/am a self-centered artiste too, but having children was the best thing I could have done. Not for everybody certainly. But I was suddenly less selfish. Suddenly there was something much more important than my own musical self interests. They had a context now. And music without real love sucks anyway.

 

However I've known many casualties of people raised by parents who didn't care enough about them to go beyond their own self interests, that I'd agree: some people shouldn't have children until they're in better condition. Then again maybe it's better to be alive than not, under any circumstances, eh? After all, they're only parents. Those who can't get over it have other problems.

All the best,

 

Henry Robinett

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I am an artist and I have two kids. It is by far the best thing to have ever happened to me. I believe I'm a much better artist because I have children. I've grown so much as a person and my art reflects such growth. Having kids for me gives me my cutting edge as an artist. The challenges that raising children bring such a richness to your life as well as your art.

 

Lincoln Ross

Dead Black Jedis

"All conditioned things are impermanent. Work out your own salvation with diligence."

 

The Buddha's Last Words

 

R.I.P. RobT

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Originally posted by E-money:

People with an IQ below 110 should not have children.

My $.02

Considering how incredibly biased the Stanford-Binet IQ test is (it tests for academic and not creative or motivational potential within the *U.S.* school system), that's one helluva statement!!!
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Originally posted by Kcbass:

Only if you are willing to let those children become/change your life. Kcbass

Amen. Being a parent will absolutely change your life, and you shouldn't make the choice to have children unless you realize it.

 

In my case, while I have no regrets and my two boys have changed my life for the better, I should have trusted my judgement that it was not the right time to become a parent, or the right person to have kids with.

 

In my case, my kids got their crazy genes from their mother's side, and don't seem to have gotten the music genes from me.

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boosh,

 

I am not thinking negative.. I just find that when i was in school 10 years ago seems to be different now. It just seems to me that the pressures of growing up are much more apparent than before. But then again, maybe i never bothered to notice them until now because i never cared growing up. And the media is so out of control that it's hard to put things in perspective sometimes. I didn't mean to sound negative. I just don't like what i see in the world right now so i thought i would find out others perspectives on raising children. But then again I could just be looking at the negatives. So maybe I am being negative! I am getting married soon so i having been doing a lot of thinking about kids. even though it won't be for at least 10 years!...I hope :(

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Originally posted by ryst:

boosh,

 

I am not thinking negative.. I just find that when i was in school 10 years ago seems to be different now. It just seems to me that the pressures of growing up are much more apparent than before. But then again, maybe i never bothered to notice them until now because i never cared growing up. And the media is so out of control that it's hard to put things in perspective sometimes. I didn't mean to sound negative. I just don't like what i see in the world right now so i thought i would find out others perspectives on raising children. But then again I could just be looking at the negatives. So maybe I am being negative! I am getting married soon so i having been doing a lot of thinking about kids. even though it won't be for at least 10 years!...I hope :(

When I was young I often asked my parents :"Why the $%^& did you put me on this miserable world?!"I promissed myself I would never marry and bring a kid on this godforsaken planet.

 

I am 32 now and got married last year,our son is 3.5 months old now and I love him to death.

 

Peoples views can change and maybe that's for better otherwise there won't be any people left in a while ;)

Fan, nu pissar jag taggtråd igen. Jag skulle inte satt på räpan.

http://www.bushcollectors.com

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I always felt like it would be cruel to bring a kid into the world. My wife was considered infertile, but I guess my daughter had other plans .

 

She is just about the only thing that DOES give me hope. If we're lucky, she'll run for president. I love her more than anything, and would gladly trade my life for hers if the need arose.

 

I think people who ponder whether they should have kids or not are probably the people who SHOULD be having them.

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It's a completely unique decision to whomever is the one making it.

 

As a younger guy, I never would have imagined that I'd like being a dad. Now, I couldn't imagine how empty my life would be without my kids. They're really not only my kids, they're my best friends, too...and watching the seeds planted artistically (giving them exposure to musical expression) is cool beyond words. And, of course, now I'm a grandpa...and that's every bit as cool...

 

But, that might not work for everyone. I would say for those who wish to have kids, not to wait until they're older. Have 'em younger. You'll relate to them better. Just my two cents.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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I certainly hope musician/artists should have kids. If not, I'm screwed.

 

It's true that not everyone should become a parent....no question about that.

 

But I have to tell you, having kids is an experience like no other. You will never know a love as profound as the one you have for these little versions of you and your spouse running around.

 

I was scared about having kids. What if I wasn't ready, or wasn't actually cut out to be a Dad? All of that changed when they arrived. I mean....WOW!!! It was amazing!

 

Now, I find myself going out with my son (3 yrs old) and doing things like flying kites, and going down to the creek and listening for the frogs, making sand castles at the beach....the stuff that kids love to do. And I think about what it's like to be my son and be seeing or hearing or doing these things for the very first time. It's such a pleasure to show him these things, and to guide his little life. I cannot begin to describe how cool it is....you have to experience it for yourself to know.

 

And now my little girl who just turned one is walking all around and interacting with people and things. It's such a joy to see her get so excited and kicking her feet when I push her in the swing.

 

Is it ever a pain in the ass?

Hell yeah it is! But it's such a worthwhile pain in the ass!

I'd often rather be doing my own thing, and my kids are demanding my attention. But that's okay! They draw me out of my reclusive cave and get me out running around and having fun!

 

My kids are my saving grace.

 

Like Craig said, they give me hope....hope for the future...hope for MY future as well. And yes, I'd give my life for either of my kids without thinking twice.

Super 8

 

Hear my stuff here

 

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Wow, guys.. Very good discussion! Craig, I think you are right when you said "I think people who ponder whether they should have kids or not are probably the people who SHOULD be having them". I have been thinking about it a lot lately and everyone tells me i would make a great dad when i say i never want kids. But right now I can't image someone calling me what I have been calling my father for the past 26 years. But this discussion is wonderful. It really makes me think from a different perspective. I guess i might be thinking selfishly when i feel like I can't image being put through the hell that i put my parents through. My dad says i am just feeling guilty about it. I guess time heels. And Boosh, you are right too. I think different now than I didn't 10 years ago and i hope I think different in 10 more years. Thanks, guys.
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yeah, that Bach dude sure did get NOTHING done once he had those 21 kids.
Yeah, but he was a terrible father. He had those kids by 19 different women during tours all over Germany, and tried to duck child support despite a lavish salary. He even tried to deny that they were his, finally offering only an autographed.....oh wait, no, that was J.E.Bach, better known as "Meister J.".

Hey, it's our responsibility as artists to have kids. They're breeding faster than we are. We're got to ensure a future for this earth.

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My girlfriend and I have both sworn not too. We are both not ready, and are too selfish. I am involved in my work, and I have been a musician since I was 5 so she has known from the moment that she met me that there is no changing me.

 

I think a child ruins an artist; musician or not. A child makes you live for them and not yourself.... think about it...

 

No reading time

No writing time

No band practice, if so it has to be limited.

You will need the extra hours at work, or you will need a full time job if you are working part time which of course is musicians best friend.

So on and so forth....

 

Matt

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I work with kids on a regular basis, love em to pieces-I don`t even know why, we just seem to be on the same page in a lot of ways.

I think it`s not kids that make me cringe at all, rather the possibility of finding someone I really love and running into that notorious crossroads-`if you really believed in us you would want to have kids.` I HATE the idea of someone holding a relationship hostage to having kids and I know it happens every day. I actually think it`s totally hypocritcal, talking about wanting a `real` relationship and then turning around and USING it to get what THEY want. It`s probably just a nightmare scenario of mine, I always tell myself that when things in my life are at a reasonable level of stability maybe it wouldn`t be so bad-but that may well never happen. If anything the past year or so has been more chaotic in good ways and bad than anytime in recent memory. I don`t even really have time to post this, I`m going to be performing at the Budokan tomorrow (not music unfortunmately), so I best say goodnight.

Same old surprises, brand new cliches-

 

Skipsounds on Soundclick:

www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandid=602491

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All true. To really raise kids require that you spend most of your quality time with them. And therefore the music suffers. BUT I can't imagine ME without those wonderful beings I in my life. Plus it's such a short time. By the time my kids turned 8-10 I could spend more time back at my music again. Now that they're almost 12 and 13, they don't want me hanging around all the time. And because I was there imparting my wisdom and values all over the place I really trust them. They are really great kids.

 

But I can't imagine what a selfish, "no account", boring asshole I'd be without the things I've learned about myself from being a father and a responsible husband.

 

So in the long run I'm thinking (hoping) that the music hasn't really suffered but that I've grown in the process. I've reached areas in myself otherwise unavailable for comment or artiststic inspection. There's a depth previously unavailable. I'm certainly more mature. And since I'm not a rock and roll or hip hop musician that can be a good thing.

 

The problem I'm suffereing now is I've discovered I have a sense of humor that arrested around the age of 7. I can make a 7 year old boy crack up till milk comes out of his nose. I need some new material. Now that my boys are 11-13 they just look at me and groan.

All the best,

 

Henry Robinett

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Originally posted by henryrobinett:

Everybody should learn how to be a parent. Everyone who wants to should be willing to learn how to be a good parent, not just have children because you have a auto-response program you're reacting to.

 

I was/am a self-centered artiste too, but having children was the best thing I could have done. Not for everybody certainly. But I was suddenly less selfish. Suddenly there was something much more important than my own musical self interests. They had a context now. And music without real love sucks anyway.

 

However I've known many casualties of people raised by parents who didn't care enough about them to go beyond their own self interests, that I'd agree: some people shouldn't have children until they're in better condition. Then again maybe it's better to be alive than not, under any circumstances, eh? After all, they're only parents. Those who can't get over it have other problems.

Yep! :thu:

 

Jesus Is Coming, Make Music, Get Ready!

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For those who say they are too selfish to have kids, let me tell you that actually having them will put an end to that. I can't see otherwise how you could become 'less selfish' anyways.

 

And Craig's right: if you are worrying about whether to have kids or not then it's probably for you.

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If you are ready to take on the responsibility of loving UNconditionally, and if you are willing to teach them perseverance, determination and benevolence, and if you are willing to train them in what you believe is right, yet grant them the free-will to make their own choices, yet love them and support them anyway; and if you are willing to dedicate yourself to encouraging them to make a positive difference in this world--regardless the cost--then by all means have children. Have as many as you want.

 

In spite of a lot of hardships and trials, failed business, failed marriage, sickness, etc, I can honestly look back with the confidence that I served my sons well. No, they didn't have life on a silver platter by a long shot, but I taught them to love, taught them to roll with the punches, to never give up anything they believed was worthwhile, and taught them to be tolerant of all people, and I have a couple of young men today with whom I am very proud.

 

They are excellent musicians, have excelled in college and have worthwhile goals which they are pursuing with a passion. Although they are not rich, they are successful because they have purpose and meaning to their lives.

 

I couldn't protect them from all the shit that came down in our lives, but I taught them to see these things as a challenge to be met and overcome.

 

It was a tremendous sacrifice to put as much into their lives as I did, but it was a great investment. I say this, because I know that their are a lot of dysfunctional families out their, whose parents feel helpless in the midst of their situations. We certainly qualified as dysfunctional. But, if there is a will, there is a way. Life is too short to play blame games and wallow in psychobabble phraseology; we need only to live life with a purpose and goals to overcome. My oldest son was autistic. The neuro-psychologists said I would destroy him if I allowed him to take on the rigors of collegiate studies. But he was up for the challenge and it was tough at first. But, he graduated with a 4.0! So much for victimology. We are getting ready to record his first symphonic work.

 

I sometimes think I owe my improvisational musical skills for teaching me how to improvise with life so we could move forward.

 

I don't consider family so much an institution as it is an opportunity for some great improvisation. Everything we institutionalize, becomes mired in ineffectiveness. Families are about life and they must have the freedom to live life to the best.

 

If you have this kind of vision for your future family, then by all means, have kids! Perhaps your kids might be the ones to forestall all the mess we see coming down in this world. And if we do self destruct, at least your kids will know they gave it their best shot.

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