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Acts that Should Retire!!

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Bob Lefsetz has a show on KLSX every Sunday, from 10-11 PM. His topic yesterday was "Acts that should retire." Here's the email blast he sent about the upcoming show (copyright 2004 by Robert Scott Lefsetz and reprinted with the express permission of the author). Check it out, and post who YOU'D like to add to the list! You don't need to limit it to musicians...


From Bob:


I'm not talking about the has-beens that have run out of venues, that have slipped off the radar screen, I'm talking about those hopeless sots that continue to subject us to their lame music year after year, polluting the airwaves and consciousness of the public with their DRIVEL!


Case in point, KISS.


Hell, I don't even know if it's KISS, or Kiss. Whether it's an acronym referring to Knights In Satan's Service or it's just about the meeting of lips. All I know is I've heard WAY too much from this band. Gene Simmons might be a talented businessman, but he's a LAME musician. Hell, can't we boil KISS down to one track, "Rock And Roll All Nite"? I'm not gonna give you "Beth". It's execrable. And they keep kicking the guy who wrote it out of the band.


Speaking of which, didn't they DO a farewell tour?


KISS, please retire. Unfortunately, your recordings will live on. Isn't that ENOUGH!


Then there's Styx. I can't think of one redeeming song from this band. Their fans must be people who know NOTHING about music. Nerds from the midwest so clean-cut they think they're edgy. Styx must be stopped. Peter Frampton can live on. For the first album, "Wind Of Change", if nothing else. Then again, it's been DECADES since Peter put out a good record. And he finally succumbed to doing a "Frampton Comes Alive" album AGAIN! Which, of course, nobody wanted. Maybe Peter should retire too.


And then there's Fleetwood Mac.


Everybody in the band can PLAY, they just can't write decent MATERIAL anymore.


Now they're on an endless tour raping baby boomers of the money they used to spend on babysitters. TIMES TEN! Stevie Nicks trusses herself up as if to say "I'm still the young witch." Why doesn't she just age gracefully, like Linda Ronstadt. GROW UP!


And Mick Fleetwood. Shit, have you blown every dollar you've ever EARNED?? You've got to be on the road for the BREAD?


Linsdey Buckingham. You obviously made the same deal with the devil that Jackson Browne did. You haven't aged a bit. But, on Jackson's last few albums, he's actually written some good material. It might not have hit, but still, it's good. Whereas you seem to have lost your muse. Or your filter. Can't you tell what's good or bad anymore? Can't you tell when songs are UNFINISHED? MAYBE you've still got it, but you need help, separating the wheat from the chaff. I recommend John Kalodner. He's your age. He brought Aerosmith back from the dead. But, until you write great material again, RETIRE!


John McVie. You get a pass. But, if you hit the stage, you've got to play with SOMEBODY ELSE!


J. Lo. NO MAS!!


Britney...same deal. Really, I don't care that you're still at the pinnacle of fame. PLEASE RETIRE! So maybe the inane fools paying all that bread on your ducats will be forced to lay down their money for something GOOD, something REASONABLE!


And while we're at it, I'm for voting D12 off the island too. What a bunch of overhyped crap. And, can't someone tell Eminem he's not a MUSICIAN! God, if they're gonna make these records, PLEASE license them some decent samples. Do us a favor, PLEASE! Because the riffs/melodies/beats that Marshall comes up with are equivalent to NURSERY RHYMES!


Eminem need Dre. Then again, ever notice that all Dre's tracks sound the SAME? Yup, with the bass that pumps to the rhythm of a '63 Chevy on hydraulics!


And then there's P./Puff Diddy/Daddy. This guy ain't NEVER gonna retire, so we're gonna FORCE HIM TO! A publicity BLACKOUT! Can't MTV make a contract with America? Can't they free us from Diddy's visage on their channel for a few months, if not a YEAR???


And even Beck. Talk about an overrated hype. I'm not sure whether he has to retire... Well, maybe the writers saying how GOOD he is have to retire. The dude makes one great record with Carl Stephenson and then he gets a pass FOREVER?? Won't SOMEONE blow the whistle on this guy? God, if he were on Amateur Night At The Apollo, they'd boo him right off the stage.


Then there's those guys on "60 Minutes". Who said THEY get to play God and deliver the stories to us. Handing tablets to the masses like Moses in the Bible. Hello, Mike Wallace, you're a TALKING HEAD!!!


Hell, you might be tired of Stephen King, but he's shown on the back page of "Entertainment Weekly" that he's still alive, still thinking. But those dudes on "60 Minutes"? They've been COASTING!! They should realize, like Tabitha Soren, that they're DONE, and GIVE UP! I mean Martha Quinn will always get a pass back onto the airwaves, but EVERYBODY ELSE who's EVER been on MTV...GET A REAL JOB! ESPECIALLY those people on "The Real World". Except for Julie. Then again, she quit. She saw how bogus the whole thing was. Hello, you're famous for NOTHING! Your only claim to fame is you've been on TELEVISION! GIVE UP, RETIRE!! Go to graduate school, get a REAL JOB!


Trista Rehn too. ENOUGH ALREADY!


And VH1. Can't we protest this channel? Can't we have a national blackout, all agreeing not to watch this channel for a week until Viacom turns it into something DIFFERENT? I mean what is VH1 FOR?? It raped the history of rock. It STRIP MINED IT! Yup, just digging INCHES below the surface. But now that the landscape has been blighted, now that the channel's mission is done, can't it go DARK????


Clive Davis, you go too.


So call in. Tonight. From 10-11 p.m. And tell me who YOU think must retire. IMMEDIATELY!


Oh, their LEGACY can live on. But that's all they've got. The book has been closed. No tinkering with the past, no additions to the history. Let us judge these wankers on their past efforts. If I'm wrong, and they truly have value, their stars will rise. But I think the only reason we still hear about these jerks is they're so busy promoting themselves. And the lame media's there to report the story, as if someone CARES!


Yeah, that's a show that should be retired too. "E.T." Mary Hart may have great legs, but she had a lobotomy LONG AGO! And then you've got the aforementioned VH1, which has "E.T. On VH1"! Isn't this the absolute nadir? Should we all just kill ourselves right now? Has society really sunk this low?


No, we must clear the landscape of the dead wood. Like a forest fire. We've got to allow the new plants to GROW, unimpeded by these made over assholes with faces so distorted from plastic surgery they look like the doctors and nurses in that famous "Twilight Zone" episode "The Eye Of The Beholder". Have you seen Lesley Stahl? Talk about a bad EYE JOB! And we're not letting you off the hook either Debbie Harry!

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I'd have to vote for Elton John and Phil Collins.


But, in reality...no one should retire that doesn't want to. Heck, if they wanna play, let 'em play. Doesn't have to be big venues. They can do the local club'n'casino circuit.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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This is probably ironic but as much as I enjoy Reznor's music in Nine Inch Nails, I'm starting to wonder whats up with the stuff after all these years and he just turned 39.


I mean, I realise alot of emotional stuff we endure throughout life does not end at the end of our teens... I don't doubt his sincerity, but I just don't get what he could still be drudging up after all these years at his age.


Same for similiar 'older' musicians notorious for dark/angry/sad stuff.

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Phil Collins must die!


OK, I'd settle for shipping him off to a deserted island somewhere ... worked for Napoleon.

"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." - Banky Edwards.
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I think there are a whole lot of folks who fit this thread.


Number one: The Stones. They were the worst live band I had ever heard when I caught them at Altamont and never got better.


The Beach Boys. Journey. Robert Plant. Loretta Lynn (caught her on Letterman a couple weeks ago...eek). All the folkies living on their 60's legends..Peter, Paul & Mary, Bob Dylan, etc.


James Brown...please. Michael Jackson. Yes. All the "punk" bands from the last ten years and every disco band on the planet. Rick Springfield.


But then this opens up a whole other question.. If the old folks that brought us music that is still popular retire..who will fill their shoes?


Modern popular music has a shelf life of about ten minutes. Almost all crap.


What musicians of today will we be listening to in ten years? Very few I predict.

Mark G.

"A man may fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame others" -- John Burroughs


"I consider ethics, as well as religion, as supplements to law in the government of man." -- Thomas Jefferson

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I'd be lying if I said there aren't any acts I want to go away. There are several in Bob's message. However, I'd be a fool to think that I speak for any group, let alone everyone, in my belief that any of these people or groups should go off in a corner and get out of the limelight.


Which leaves me only one person I will publicly call for retirement. That would be Bob Lefsetz. ;)

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman




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Yes, it pains me to say it, since I was such a fan back in the day and was so well influenced by their playing and songwriting.


But the Stones have to end it. Say goodbye. Go live on country estates and accept awards and maybe write some books. Maybe Keef could record some blues classics with a new backup band. Charlie could try his big band thing again 9though it wasn't particularly good last time around).


But no more Stones records, no more touring, no more exclusive deals with Best Buy or Wal-Mart or whoever, and please GOD no more Mick Jagger solo albums.


As Chris Rock might say, they gots to go.


- Jeff

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I don't think the acts should retire but they could at least get in shape and look good while performing! Case in point, KC & The Sunshine Band! KC is fat and sweaty and attempts to dance with his dancers during shows and it's downright embarrasing! I'm sure he wants to be taken serious but I think most folks are laughing at him and not with him! The older cats like the Stones and the like should get haircuts, tamer clothing and, well, dammit...just grow up already!
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Originally posted by philbo_Tangent:

Cheeze!! This DJ is a major dickhead.


If the act can get the public to buy tickets & CDs, they can and should continue playing as long as they want. The public always votes with their dollars.

Agreed. I'm more disturbed by his insults of the audiences of several mentioned acts than that those acts still tour. Last time I looked, I haven't been forced to endure any of this music if I didn't want to. (Not counting work... When you work local crew there are few opportunities you can pass by. Work is feast/famine, so yes, I worked Puff Daddy's show in 1997. They absolutely had to pay me to be there, though. ;) )

It's easiest to find me on Facebook. Neil Bergman




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On the other hand...there are a handful of those from the "classic rock" genre that ARE still producing interesting music. I won't say who, because it would start a flurry of "they suck". In reality, different strokes for different folks. But, instead of playing the same tired cuts from a given band from 1982, play some of their newer stuff if it's worthy. But, radio will never do that.


So, the main "act" that I'd like to see retire is Clear Channel Entertainment.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine"
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............."hopeless sots that continue to subject us to their lame music year after year, polluting the airwaves and consciousness of the public with their DRIVEL....!


Which means that if what this Bob-what's-his-name is right about the above comment, "us" the collective group of humankind agree with him and have therefore already stopped supporting the acts he mentions...we've stopped buying the drivel..stopped going to the concerts to listen to the drivel...which means that those acts must not be able to get gigs or deals any more because the output from them is polluting drivel and "we" of the Bob crowd have already stopped supporting it all with money. Cause we're all smart, like Bob.


Which means...hey wait a minute. Those acts are still making millions by people who are paying millions to them and not complaining! Even KC had a huge year last year if you check. And heck, yeah, I'll get around to seeing Kiss at one of their final tours sometime in the next couple of decades. It'll be fun.


Hey Bob...who's the "we" and "us" you're talking about? Are "us" folks who are paying the millions to listen to and go see this "drivel" no better than those creating the "drivel"?


I'm going to make a guess that Bob made less $ last year than the "drivel makers". That means he is on the low end of the totem pole of support from all the "us's" ..meaning fewer people support him than support the Stones or KC.


Meaning Bob is the one who should retire. His "us" club doesn't sound very interesting.

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And Mick Fleetwood. Shit, have you blown every dollar you've ever EARNED?? You've got to be on the road for the BREAD?


Britney...same deal. Really, I don't care that you're still at the pinnacle of fame. PLEASE RETIRE! So maybe the inane fools paying all that bread

Bread ? :rolleyes: I understand how groovy and far out that word once was, but I think you should have thrown it out decades ago, along with your tie-dyed shirts and black light posters.
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Well, his gig is to editorialize, and to provoke discussion. It was probably unfair to just post this without some background, he has a particular sense of humor but also likes to get folks to think. Some people think he's a lame idiot. Some people think he has a real clue on where the music biz is at these days. I don't agree with him all the time, but he always makes me think. And that's the point of posting something like this.


Actually, I'm rather impressed that several people here are kind-hearted enough to essentially say "Hey, don't pick on these people."


But I'm with him 100% on J. Lo, that's for sure! And Britney. Unless she's mismanaged her money worse than anyone can imagine, she should be set up for life. She could retire, live in mystery, slide off the map, build up a cult following, and have all the benefits of dying (adulation, sales, respect) without having to do all the messy funeral and permanent-loss-of-all-consciousness stuff. She could even be totally eccentric and get away with it. Hey, it worked for Brigitte Bardot...




I'm really dragged to hear that, I think the Van Lear Rose CD is outstanding. Maybe that's because of Jack White, but her voice sounds awesome on that CD. Pretty good for pushing 70. Note to self: Avoid seeing live, just listen to the CD .

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Originally posted by SteveRB:


Bread ? :rolleyes: I understand how groovy and far out that word once was, but I think you should have thrown it out decades ago, along with your tie-dyed shirts and black light posters.

David Gates did some groovy songs

"Baby Ima want youuuuuuuuu"


Lynn G
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I actually think there are bands that should retire before soiling their name any furthur.

1 Mctallica. They died with cliff, half of their fanbase now hates them.

2 janes addiction. They now make way too much money to capture the feeling that made them great.

3Ozzy -I love ozzy but has anyone seen him try to jump?


This is just my opinion, they can continue as long as they want but there is a point where I will stop voting with my dollars.

Reach out and grab a clue.


Something Vicious

My solo crap

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DJ Bob Lefsetz is obviously an idiot.


I don't care of KISS ever retires or not. They aren't hurting anybody by touring. They aren't filling the airwaves with crap like Cher was doing.....did she ever finally wrap up that 'farewell' tour she was doing?


Simmons is a fine musician. I always enjoyed his walking bass lines on those old albums. I doubt KISS has another good album in them, but if they want to take to the stage....more power to them.


The comments about Styx just piss me off...

Styx did a LOT of great songs. I'm getting tired of seeing them get slammed by people. People who talk like that lose credibility with me. If their music is not your thing....fine, I can understand that. But to say that they did nothing 'redeemable' is just stupid. It cannot be denied that they are a talented band, and wrote well-crafted material. If you don't happen to like it is a subjective matter.

Oh, I guess it doesn't matter since I'm a 'clean cut nerd from the mid-west....'

Yeah, nothing of value to music ever came from the mid-west... :rolleyes:

Whatever, dude. Fuck off....


The comments about Fleetwood Mac are pretty bullshit as well...

Yeah, let's all remember that females have a shelf-life. Stevie isn't a young woman anymore, so she's no longer viable. Never mind the fact that he mentions John Kalodner bringing Aerosmith back, but never sugests that Steven Tyler cut his hair or stop dancing around in mumus....and Aerosmith has released nothing but crap since they came back!!!! Why doesn't he tell them to retire???

I guess it's okay for boys but not for girls....whatever.


This guy is a jerk.

Super 8


Hear my stuff here


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in the words of Guido, the Killer Pimp :


"In a sluggish economy, never, ever f*** with another man\'s livelihood."


Critics don't understand this rule. Critics also don't understand that they don't matter. The only way they redeem themselves is when they can honestly help an artist communicate. Jerry Wexler was a critic. But he will be bettter remembered for the records he assisted.

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It seems that many of you need to lighten up a little. ;)


While Lefsetz is being at least partally humorous, there's a huge element of truth to what he's saying! Don't be offened if he picked on one of your personal faves. The objective view, without naming specific artists, is that a lot of folks overstay their welcome, and if they were capable of maintaining the level of creative output they'd done in earlier stages, they'd remain welcome to produce more cool stuff.


The real flip side of Lefsetz' point is that if there was a steady barrage of great new music filling the airwaves, the "retirement" of other artists would be a more natural process anyway. But since so much of the new crap is just that -- crap -- we wax nostalgic for those days when "music was great". Doesn't matter if the artist is still great. Some of those 'classic" artists are now releasing as much horrible filler music as the young bands we have no qualms about shredding!


- Jeff

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".....is that a lot of folks overstay their welcome..."


care to define that? Who's on the "overstay committe? Oh yeah, it's Bob.


.....if they were capable of maintaining the level of creative output they'd done in earlier stages, they'd remain welcome ....


care to define that? Who's on that "you're still welcome" committee? Oh yeah, it's Bob.


...........the "retirement" of other artists would be a more natural process anyway...


Be sure Bob tells Andy Williams, Neil Sedaka, and Frankie Avalon, and Frankie Valli and all those other pop stars from the period several years before the Beatles about the "natural retirement" program. Maybe if there had been any talent in the Beatle era, poor Andy and Frankie and the rest could have retired years ago instead of still having to hold up the early pop standards (oh, and also making the 7-8 million they each made last year entertaining).



......But since so much of the new crap is just that -- crap -- ......


care to define that? who's on the official "this is crap" committee that speaks for all of us? Oh yeah, it's Bob.


.......we wax nostalgic for those days when "music was great"...


care to define that? When was that? who's we?


Where's Bob's phone number? I need to get the rules for what I should and shouldn't be liking in music. I need that list.

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In as much as this is the silliest thing I'll argue about today (probably... hard to tell, the day's still young)...


A critic's job is to provide actual opinions. It's never the public's responsibility to agree with those opinions. So, it's fine to not agree that Styx is past their prime, for example.


But is the only factor of quality based on income potential? Who cares if Frankie Valli still makes tons of dough? It doesn't make him more relevant today. No one's forcing anyone to stop performing or recording, by the way, or stopping people from seeing/listening to the artists they enjoy. There is no mandatory retirement age in rock.


But it does seem that some artists purposefully don't rely on what they used to be to make their living. Some grow old and continue to reinvent themselves, or at least allow new music to be an inflluence to them. You don't see David Bowie on Lefsetz' list, for example. Nor do you see Joni Mitchell. It's not because they do or don't make lots of money these days. It's because they remain vibrant and viable.


Of course, some folks will go out every year and pay top dollar to see the latest incarnation of Skynrd play "Freebird" at a local sports arena, so I'm not going to be the one to tell them if it's right or wrong. :thu:


- Jeff

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I don't have any emotional connection to this thread, because obvisouly no one has or ever will have the power to dictate art and taste.


I figured I'd chime in because the topic was thought up by Bob to bring in listeners and is probably reprinted by others to bring in conversation. And that always intrigues me because it's very effective business.


I and a few others had dinner in Las Vegas with Gene Siskel a few years before he died. I was sitting next to him and said (which I'm sure he had heard a zillion times) that when you think about it, getting paid to give "opinions" on movies is just about the dumbest idea ever thought up as a "job". He said, "I totally agree..I have no authority except to speak about what I like or don't like..I have no power to make people follow what I believe ...and no proof to back up anything I say". But he also mentioned that with the kind of money some critics make, who could ever pass up that kind of work.


I don't know this Bob guy, but as long as he's getting ratings, it's probably a cool job to have.

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All the staff at clear channel.

Dick Clark. :D


As for musicians I dont think its necesary for them to continue to create new ground breaking material in order to justify continuing to perform. However,IMHO at a minimum, it is necessary for them to be able to play their legacy material with gusto. Those who cant....


Brian Wilson- sorry but his recent atttempts just dont do his legacy justice IMHO.




Allmans ( one of my all time favs- but what happened to the energy?)


T. Petty- last few seemed uninspired to me.


OTOH - There are some "old timers" that should just keep on going. For starters:

Jeff Beck, Todd Rundgren, Tony Bennet, Chicago (I dont like all their mushy ballads- but they still sound great/very tight on the old rockers.

Perhaps this list deserves another thread.


BTW- I just heard that Stevie wonder is about to release his first one in 9 years.

Hope its up to his standards.

Check out some tunes here:


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